A/N: As you read this later, Ginrei is told to recount her parentage. She's telling names based on the manner I invented in With Our Arms Wide Open. In that system (a demon system for tracking who's related to who) the first name of one's father is adopted as the surname. So Inuyasha and Sesshomaru share the same last name: Inutaisho. Daughters do the same, but they can take either their father's name or their mate's name later. So when Ginrei says Shizumeru Giri was her mother she means Giri was her mother, Shizumeru was her mother's father. And so on and so forth. …Probably that doesn't help any but oh well, I did try…WARNING I'm not like proofreading this and I wrote it fast, mistakes are likely. Please forgive me, I was over eager.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sesshomaru. I do not own Rin. However, Ginrei is my creation. So is Tsukiyume and Shimofuri and Sasugainu. And I am proud of them :)
Runaway
This story is one that begins in war and tragedy. For those of you who are new to this series this is the semi-sequel to "With Our Arms Wide Open." And that story is the sequel to "So Much For The Hanyou's Happy Ending." To understand this storyline completely I would tell you read and review (because I am a review whore!) those stories first, but in case you just aren't interested I will take pity and provide the basic summaries: Naraku is dead and gone. In the years since then Sesshomaru has trained and raised Rin and eventually taken her as his mate. But having children with her means he has hanyous, and hanyous are infertile because they are hybrids. (Go look it up, I'm not kidding.) He must marry an inuyoukai to have heirs for the Western Lands. (All this was learned in So Much for the Hanyou's Happy Ending.)
Sesshomaru hates the dog demon clan. He will not negotiate a marriage through them, so he finds another way. There is a civil war in the Middle Lands between different families in the clan. The old leader Nishiyori is leading a rebellion against Taikokajin (who just died) and her young heir Shimofuri (shishi-sama). Sesshomaru offers to help Shimofuri and Sasugainu (Shimofuri's uncle) in this war, but for a price. Nishiyori's land (the Isei province) is to become part of the Western Lands after the war is finished, AND one of Nishiyori's female relatives will be spared from death and given to Sesshomaru as his wife. (All this was from With Our Arms Wide Open.) But the question on everyone's mind is...what does Rin think about this? Does she even know? And with that thought I will shut up!
Prologue: Beginnings and Endings
Ginrei had never imagined it would come down to this. She'd woken in the night to shouts, screams, and the roar of fire. It took root with amazing speed—a speed she suspected was partially not-normal, resulting from a spell of some kind to aid the flame—and swept through the palace. By the time she'd woken the fire had already reached the hall outside of her sleeping chamber.
She could remember, faintly, the dark silhouetted forms and shadows rushing about and around the flames, her mother, her aunt, her sisters and younger brothers, all of the women or the pups still too young to fight. They scrambled over one another blindly, driven by their fear, searching for an exit.
But the fire had already taken the hallway; there was no other clear way out. Smoke poured into the room, Ginrei heard one of her sisters hacking, struggling to breathe.
She crawled forward, searching for her sisters, her mother, her cousins. "Mother! Giniro! Kanbi! Chiwa!" she grasped someone and rolled him over searching for his face through the thick, burning air. It was one of her cousins, a young male, too young to join his kin on the battlefield. His face was gray, his eyes wide and lifeless. The grit covered his body everywhere.
"Ransou…" she spoke his name to herself while around her the entire palace began to collapse.
He was the first casualty that she saw, but he was far, far from being the last.
She caught sight of her older sister, Giniro, slashing at the walls of their sleeping chamber, bursting out of them and into the room beyond. But that room had also been invaded by the fire, and as Giniro's claws opened up the wall the fire leapt up at her like an overzealous lover. Ginrei felt a wave of heat when the hole was made, and the roaring in her ears increased. Giniro fell backwards and did not get back up.
Without looking at her, Ginrei knew that her older sister was dead. Yet as soon as she knew this terrible thing she had to dismiss it and think fast for herself, or soon she too would die.
She crawled toward a different wall, one that she knew was closer to the outside, to the cool, sweet night air outside the palace…she stumbled up onto her feet, feeling the heat of the fire at her back, the sudden cold of her tears as they coursed down her face. The light from the fire danced wildly, sometimes so bright that it hurt her eyes, other times dimming so that she had to squint. She pounded on the door, and faintly heard herself screaming…
A shadow appeared over the flicker of the flames on the wall, someone had stepped in front of the light. Ginrei whirled, tears streaming from her irritated eyes. The source of the shadow was a tall, lithe inuyoukai, a soldier. Armor covered his shoulders, thighs, and chest. There was a helmet on his head, laced with metal. It shone, sparkling brilliantly in the flickering firelight of the burning palace.
It did not occur to her to fear him—he was a male, he would help her…she threw herself down at his feet, half-bowing half-sobbing. The soldier knelt and snatched up her arm, throwing her lightly over one shoulder. She clung to him for dear life, closing her eyes and fighting the nausea awakening within her.
The soldier did not leave immediately. He stalked through the fiery room, seemingly fearless, and found another cowering female form. Kneeling, he scooped her up as well and flung her over his other shoulder. When Ginrei risked opening her eyes she saw the smeared, dirtied face of her cousin, Kanbi. The tears carved pathways of white through the black grit on their cheeks as they clung helplessly to the male that had saved them.
He toured the room, searching for others. He came across an older female, coughing, half dead already. He drew his sword and in the space of an eye blink he slit her neck. She fell flat. The stink of the fire hid the stench of blood and death.
There were other soldiers in the room, Ginrei saw. They too had women thrown over their backs, slung there like sacks of rice or sugar. As the smoke slowly began to fill her head, Ginrei let her eyes close, giving up…
And then the soldier leapt high into the air, jolting Ginrei and her cousin Kanbi wide awake. They crashed through the roof into the second story. Ginrei caught sight of the other inuyoukai soldiers doing the same. They leapt in unison, well trained, flying like birds of prey. They crashed onto the floorboards and shouted as one, chanting, rushing for the walls. Ginrei cringed, holding tight.
The soldiers smashed into the walls, breaking the wood wide apart with a crack! Cold, sweet air filled Ginrei's next breath. Her heart swelled despite the tragedy still unfolding around her. I'm going to live!
The soldier hit the ground hard. Both girls were jarred, making their bodies limp and flimsy as the solider hefted them free of his shoulders and dropped them carelessly onto the ground.
As Ginrei blinked, slowly recovering, she saw that she and Kanbi were in a long line of women, all of them young, some barely out of childhood. Some were already dying, their necks snapped in the solders' ungentle rescue. If, indeed, it could even be called a rescue. More men, some of them only human, were appearing out of the trees, from inside the burning house, from the ransacked gardens…
The whole earth seemed to be burning before Ginrei's eyes. She stared at the palace until it blurred in her vision and the lump of grief swelled in her throat, making it hard for her to breathe.
But the torture had not yet ended with the burning and destruction of her home. It had only just begun.
Three inuyoukai stepped forward toward one end of the line of women rescued from the palace's burning innards. One was shorter than the others, a soldier with an outline of a snake, she thought. He had a tiny but very sharp nose. The other two lords were hardly distinguishable. They were proud shapes; Ginrei suspected they were proper royalty.
The three stopped at the first girl and Ginrei's sharp ears picked out what he said to her, "Your heritage, girl. Now."
She answered and there was a pause as the narrow, pointy-nose man thought this answer over, and then he made a curt motion with his fingers. The other two inuyoukai stepped forward, drawing their swords at once. The girl screamed—once—and then fell over dead, her head rolling separately from her body.
The other women tried to bolt around Ginrei—those that were able that was—but other inuyoukai stepped forward and forced them back into the line. Ginrei felt herself shaking; she looked to Kanbi and saw that her cousin was crying, sobbing.
The pointy-nose youkai reached the next girl, sniffing. "This one was mated." At that the soldiers behind him moved forward, executing her without word or warning. Again the line quivered with women fluttering, trying to seek an escape. The roar of the fire robbed Ginrei, in her panic, of hearing. She let her head sink forward and started to sob, remembering her older sister, her cousin Ransou, so many others that she would never really know the fate of…
The pointy nosed youkai had reached Kanbi at her side, she realized. Again he asked her, "Who were your parents?"
Kanbi was quivering uncontrollably, but her eyes were defiant as she stared up at the men.
"Stubborn bitch," the youkai cackled a little in his sneaky voice. "Tell me or you'll die for insubordination." As if to emphasize, the youkai soldiers behind him lifted their swords, which were already covered, dripping with blood.
"My mother was Koganeiro Keisei, my father is Onshoku Nishiyori."
The strange youkai paused, eyes narrowing, as he seemed to consider this information. Kanbi waited, holding her breath, staring up at them, awaiting her fate. At last he flicked a finger and sighed as the youkai behind him rushed forward, slashing as one with their swords even as Kanbi cringed and tried to crawl away…
Ginrei watched, feeling sick to her stomach by the stench of blood already rising from the slaughter down the line. She saw the soldiers shuffle forward as if it were a dance, their boots crunching over the hard crusted snow…
Their swords sang through the air, striking like snakes. Kanbi cried out once, calling for mercy, for admission to heaven, no one would even know. A moment later there was silence and Ginrei gagged on the thick scent of her cousin's blood. A massive pool of it stained the snow, sucked hungrily down into it.
Ginrei stared at her fingers, pale and white and trembling. She gagged, heaving and sobbing at once, but nothing came out of her stomach, her throat closed over it as the pointy-nosed youkai stepped close at last.
It was her turn to answer his question and get her head chopped off. She didn't have the courage that Kanbi had had to look the monster in the eye. Her fingers were against the freezing snow, but she was so traumatized she could not feel even the slightest thing from them.
The youkai scowled at her. "She's fair. I thought all of Nishiyori's bitches were like him, blue-black everything."
It was true; Ginrei had inherited her mother's silver-colored hair. It was slightly darker than the true lighter colors of some members of the Inuyoukai clan, but it was a rare trait within Nishiyori's family. She also had been lucky enough to inherit her mother's eyes, not quite blue, but paler than that still, more silver, like the shine from a lake in bright sunlight. Her rare features were helped, of course, by the fact that her father had not been Nishiyori, but in fact his youngest half brother.
"She will certainly be related to him." One of the inuyoukai with the swords grunted.
Pointy nose hushed the soldiers, focusing solely on Ginrei. "Your parents, girl. Who were they?"
She was shaking, wringing her hands together now. "My m-mother was Shizumeru Giri. F-father was Onshoku Seiyo."
Again there was the pause from the man above her, a torturous wait as he decided whether she lived or died by whatever mysterious criteria he was trying to fulfill.
Finally he ended her wait, asking, "Shizumeru Giri. Tell me about your mother's family."
Ginrei was robbed of her voice, she stuttered, still wringing her hands, her tears fell into the snow as she fought nausea. "Shi-Shizu-Shizumeru was the son of Shikaku and Mei Qi…"
"The mainland." Pointy nose grunted. "Your ancestors go back to the mainland."
The moment was tense, so tight Ginrei felt as if her ribs were going to collapse inward. She cringed, her clawed fingers scratching convulsively on the crusty snow beneath her. How could this happen…? What's going on…? But logic and sense had long since fled the world. Her mind was lagging behind, having difficulty dealing with reality even as it plunged forward and buried her uncaringly beneath its weight.
She saw her long, straight silvered hair, sliding past her shoulders, touching the snow around her. I was supposed to have a future… Nishiyori, not her father but her uncle, had ordered her education as an artist, a calligrapher, a scholar. Her father, Seiyo, had assigned her a physical trainer in the fall. She could remember the faces of her family members, her mother, her sisters, her father and uncle Nishiyori. They seemed like something out of a dream, an illusion that she had made to escape the horror happening outside her mind.
Are they all dead now? And as she wondered this most terrible possibility—its horrible likelihood—the pointy nosed inuyoukai grunted again and made the motion with his fingers, signaling that she would die.
Ginrei closed her eyes, bent lower to the ground. I'll be with you soon. She thought fleetingly of Kanbi, of her bravery. You are already in paradise, cousin…
And then the cold night air was filled with feminine wails. Sharp, high-pitched, sickening. At first Ginrei thought the sound was somehow a signal that she had in fact died. The nip of the soldier's blades was so swift that she'd felt no pain at all and was not even aware of dying, of her blood leaching out onto the snow. Now the screams were the agonizing call of her dead female kin, all of them still shocked and in pain at the surprise of their own deaths. Some had died burning, in their sleep. Others when the soldier inuyoukai appeared in the smoky ruins of their bedroom and slit open their throats.
And then the spell was broken as something blazingly warm and wet splattered onto Ginrei's face, making her gasp and fall to one side. Her hands and arms landed in a cold, thick puddle. She opened her eyes and found herself half-lying in a pool of rich, dark red blood. Kanbi's scent rushed to meet her from it and Ginrei reeled away, choking and gagging with physical revulsion and horror.
She cried wordlessly, seeing only blood. Blood everywhere, on her arms, on her once innocent white sleeping robe, on her pale-skinned hands, in her silvered hair…
A boot slurped through the blood, nudging against her legs. "Are you wounded girl?"
The horror within her turned into a sick, cold rage. Twisting within her like a snake made of ice. The cold night air touched her lungs, filled with the scents of pain and terror and death—all the deaths of her innocent female kin. She stared at the boot with widened eyes, slowly but surely feeling something growing within her, shifting, writhing, spreading its powerful legs…
The whites of her eyes changed color, becoming suddenly red and her mouth fell open in a grisly grin of fanged teeth.
One of the inuyoukai soldiers cursed and suddenly there were a lot more booted feet around her. "She's gone into shock—knock the stupid bitch out."
"No!" a younger, gentler voice broke through. The feet shuffled, moving aside to let someone pass through. Ginrei was still trying to transform.
Her body was shaking; her clawed fingers had changed shape, melding more together into the shape of a paw. A fine white coat of hair had started to sprout over her skin. She had never called on her true form before, not since she'd been a pup anyway. The transformation was nearly beyond her control, an instinctual reaction to give her the added size, strength, and weapons—teeth and claws—to escape the danger she'd been thrust into. But the change itself frightened her. Ginrei huddled into herself, trying to stop it and at once unable and unwilling to.
A different set of boots appeared in her vision. They were more expertly crafted, better cared for, richer and expensive. He was nobility—but Ginrei didn't have the presence of mind to notice this. She saw boots, and boots were what the soldiers had worn as they carted her out of the burning palace, as they slaughtered the older females, as they cut off the heads of Kanbi, of her other innocent kin…
She lifted her eyes, abruptly snarling. Her transformation continued, warping her human-like face into a dog's snout. Her snarl revealed sharp, white fangs. Her dog ears were more upright than was normal among the true forms in most of the dog demon clan. (Sesshomaru if I recall in true form has floppy ears like my Labrador Retriever. Imagine Ginrei has the upright, pointy ears of a coyote or a wolf. Her ancestry goes back to the mainland, presumably China. So she is a mix of new and different genes, and thus, a different appearance.)
When she leapt toward the new booted inuyoukai, snarling and slashing at him wildly, he was already ready for her. She collided with another dog, her silver fur bright like the snow against the other inuyoukai's blue-gray coat. Neither had transformed into huge forms, both were still not quite in their prime, and neither knowingly tried to attain their full, massive size. Instead they were bear-sized beasts, leaping and snarling at one another's throat.
The soldiers around them, human as well as youkai, withdrew at the shouts from another general, this one fair-haired and blue-eyed. The bodies of the dead—and there were many, many of them, dozens of decapitated, bleeding inuyoukai women—were hauled away, leaving wide swathes of blood in their wake. An entire army circled just inside the gardens of the palace, making the place swarm in the shadows, like an entire nest of human-sized ants.
Ginrei snapped her jaws, tearing ruthlessly into her blue-gray furred opponent. He bared his teeth with the pain and fresh, male blood splattered the snow. The couple twisted. The male used his shoulders and paws, pushing and tripping Ginrei until the inexperienced female let go and stumbled dizzily away. She had little strength for the fight and no experience. Only rage and grief fueled her and the male was cautious, cunning.
She leapt at him again, slashing with her paws this time. The male dodged her and then, once she'd rushed past him, only to trip and slide on the bloody snow, he made his move. With his heavier, firmer bulk, as well as the aid of experience and training, he pinned her to the snow. Ginrei fought him, barking, snarling, howling, but the male did not relent.
At long last the inuyoukai female's strength gave out. She was conquered. Exhaustion took hold of her and slowly, her form wavered and shrunk, twisting. When at last the transformation was finished, Ginrei lied in her torn robes once more, covered by the blood of her female kin, breathing very slowly. Her face was covered by her silver hair, now matted and a mess. She did not sob, she did not cry, merely waited.
The male at last moved away from her. She watched his powerful blue-gray paws bitterly until even that emotion fled from her. At last she closed her eyes just as the paws disappeared; turning again into the boots she'd seen before.
"Lord Shimofuri." Someone called and the male that had fought Ginrei into submission turned to face the small, mortal man rushing toward him.
"What is it?"
The human bowed, "The army reports there are no more women alive in the castle or on the grounds that they can find."
Shimofuri nodded slowly. His face was grim, a fresh layer of grime was there, and a few smears of red-brown blood from his fight. "Wait here." He commanded and then turned his head, searching with his blue-gray eyes through the darkness. There was still a ring of soldiers standing about the edges of the garden, watching to see if there would be another execution or if there would be another fight. Many were human and grinning, enjoying the carnage in their own sick delight. Seeing the inuyoukai women die did not bother them in the least after the months of bloody campaigning against Nishiyori's invading armies.
The male inuyoukai intermixed with them, however, were cold and stoic, though tinges of bitterness might have been seen in the depths of their gazes. The women that had died were the enemy's kin. It was a necessary death, but it was one without honor. And worst of all was the plight of the chosen one, the lone survivor that Shimofuri had had to battle to submission.
At last Shimofuri caught sight of the pointy-nosed youkai, the scholar he'd hired. He strode forward over the crusted, bloody snow. "Chinouteki."
The scholar bowed, "Lord Shimofuri." Chinouteki had been hired for his knowledge of the clan's genealogies. He had often been charged with arranging difficult marriages within the clan. The inuyoukai of Japan were strongly interbred with one another. There were a thousand and one cousins each lord had. Careful precautions were often needed to ensure that the clan remained unrelated enough to continue on into the future. Chinouteki was just one of many such scholars trained in this way.
"Is this the right girl?" he tried to keep the scowl of doubt off his face. The stink of blood was making him sick. "She's fair, like Lord Sesshomaru. Surely they are related…"
Chinouteki had very sneaky, slanted eyes that unnerved the young demon lord as he spoke, "Shimofuri-sama has nothing to worry about. This girl is completely unrelated to Sesshomaru-sama."
"How can that be?" Shimofuri didn't bother disguising the challenge in his voice. He wanted the explanation, not the reassurances.
"She is not Lord Nishiyori's daughter. She is Onshoku Seiyo's offspring instead. Lord Onshoku was unrelated for the most part to Inutaisho's line. Lord Seiyo's mother was also completely unrelated, but Lord Nishiyori's mother was a relative of Lord Inutaisho's father. On the girl's mother's side she is completely unrelated. Her ancestors go back to the mainland."
"Was she the only one unrelated?" Shimofuri asked, slowly.
Chinouteki quailed slightly, blinking and taking a step back. "I do not know, Shimofuri-sama. She was the first we found who's father was not Lord Nishiyori…"
"You killed them all without checking for another first?" Nausea had tightened Shimofuri's guts. All of the waste. We might've found other males who would want a wife from them. They could have lived…and what if this girl is related to Sesshomaru after all? He looked back at the girl in the snow. Her hair was so light, her eyes light as well. How could she not be apart of Inutaisho's line? There were only so many persistent families with fair hair…
Chinouteki's answer made Shimofuri want abruptly to tear the scholar's throat out: "The rest were useless—we only needed one of Lord Nishiyori's bitches."
Shimofuri emptied his face of expression, his body tightened as he fought his own anger. The blood rising from the snow, it was a lot like his own. Nishiyori was his great uncle, a close relative of his father, Haiseishoku. The females who'd died, spilling their blood into the earth; they were his own distant, innocent kin. He thought of Tsukiyume, his sister, locked away as a sort of hostage in Sesshomaru's castle. His fists clenched up.
"Shishi-sama?" Chinouteki asked.
Shimofuri turned his back on the scholar without answering and walked back stolidly to where he'd left the human, waiting for his message. "You." he barked. When the human sat up hurriedly, eyes bright with expectation, Shimofuri said, "Get one of the horses and ride for the Western Lands. You must deliver Lord Sesshomaru a message for me. Tell him we have succeeded and that we have a suitable bitch for him here. I will escort her myself."
The human nodded and then turned away, rushing off into the darkness, searching for a horse.
Shimofuri looked back at the girl lying in the snow and slowly his shoulders sagged with pity and a burgeoning despair for the loss that had happened in the whole of the war. At least, he thought with an inward sigh, it is over, for now.
Timing, it seemed in a sick, cruel way, was on his side.
Sesshomaru dismissed the human messenger coldly after hearing that Shimofuri and Sasugainu had succeeded—as he'd always known they would, with his help of course. There was no real news on the female they'd found for him. Sesshomaru was disturbed by his own anticipation of hearing more about her. It had been many, many years since he'd been close to another female inuyoukai of a suitable breeding age—and an unwed female at that. Only low females were allowed to fraternize without the guardianship of their fathers or brothers always watching over them. Daughters and sisters in a family were always the icing on the cakes of sealed alliances between families and great lands. It had been just that sort of union that had created Sesshomaru himself.
He had no expectations of loving, even liking the girl. Indeed, he expected that he would despise her. He would need to if he was to keep Rin happy with him.
Not, of course, that she was happy even now, before she knew of his plans.
She might've learned ages ago what he was planning, quietly, without ever consulting her, if not for the latest miscarriage. Sesshomaru had lost count of the number of times Rin had conceived only to lose the child as her body rejected the foreign genetic material. Often the losses were something Rin didn't know about. To her it was a normal menstruation. She would begin her monthly bleed and be hidden away from him until it had finished. But Sesshomaru's nose was not fooled by this. Rin counted every miscarriage that she knew about, and the current number to her was something like five. Sesshomaru, however, knew it was two or three times that number. Rin was very fertile, very receptive—but not to his seed.
It perplexed him more than he ever cared to admit—why had Inutaisho so easily sired Inuyasha? Why had Inuyasha survived and reproduced but the great and powerful Sesshomaru could not sire a hanyou that was able to survive inside Rin's womb?
Already he knew one thing: he would almost never have a hnayou son. Every one of Rin's earliest miscarriages, the ones that she never knew were actually a loss, were males. He guessed this not truly because he could scent the change—it was too early for that—but more because all the later miscarriages, the five that Rin openly mourned and remembered so painfully, had all been female. They were all his daughters—so where were the sons? Sesshomaru knew they were the unknown babies. Unseen and unremembered except by his own nose.
It was partially these losses, the blood washing away his unborn children, which had driven Sesshomaru to make his plan with Sasugainu and Shimofuri. If all went well he would keep Rin and his wife-to-be separated from one another. Perhaps they would never meet one another at all…
He left the audience room, stopping in his dressing chambers to pick out black ceremonial robes—mourning robes. As the servant hustled about, adjusting the obi and the pants, straightening wrinkles, brushing away lint even if it was imaginary, Sesshomaru stared blandly at his reflection, still wondering.
There were images of his father, mostly in his true form. Grand, magnificent, and handsome. Sesshomaru knew he looked very much like his father, the great lord Inutaisho. But there were differences too. His nose was more like his mother's, his chin as well. And even his lips…he caught himself lifting his hand toward his face, noticed the servant staring up at him with momentary alarm. He diverted its course and touched his collar instead before giving a small grunt, telling the servant that he was satisfied.
The human hurried off, opening the sliding door and bowing as Sesshomaru slipped out of the room.
He paused outside of Rin's chambers, fighting the tension within him. A servant waited on him, hands poised to open the door. Sesshomaru could smell Rin already, her tears, her misery. This baby had lasted almost an entire four months within her. She had begun to hope, in spite of his cold warnings.
He flicked two fingers, the only small sign he gave before the servant opened the door.
He was startled to see that she was up, sitting at the edge of her futon, staring at the flickering firelight rising off the braziers. A servant tried to move around him, carrying tea that smelled strongly of medicinal herbs. Sesshomaru caught the small human woman with his one clawed hand and she froze, trying to bow though the teacups she'd brought jangled dangerously on her tray. "Lord Sesshomaru…"
On the edge of the futon Rin's dark haired head turned slightly, the long, slightly curly black hair rippling with her faintest movement. She did not speak, didn't make a sound, but Sesshomaru knew that she was aware of their presence. She was not completely withdrawn in her grief.
He took up the tray the servant was holding with his hand and pinned her with his golden gaze sternly. "Leave us."
She couldn't have left the room fast enough. "Lord S-seshomaru." She stuttered as she backed out of the room and slid the door closed behind her. Her footsteps disappeared, hurrying down the hallway.
Sesshomaru let out a slow sigh and then, slowly, moved forward to Rin. He knelt at her side, setting the tray in front of them both in one graceful movement. It was painfully apparent to them both that the way he had placed it was a disadvantage to himself. It was set to his left, closer to Rin than himself. His right hand—the only one he had left and the constant reminder of his little hanyou brother's surprising power—was too far away from the tray for him to reach for tea on his own without a very awkward stretch and turn.
Rin knew that he was quietly asking her to respond to him, to react. Even as a lover he was often a creature of very few words. Anger with her was more likely to get words than upset or grief or especially love.
She reached for the tray and turned the cups right side up and then began to pour Sesshomaru the medicinal tea—but nothing inside her own cup. When it was poured she pushed it slowly to Sesshomaru.
Now at last he spoke, "Rin. It is for you."
She looked straight ahead at the wall. Sesshomaru took the chance to examine her unabashedly. Her robes were a dull, ugly gray. She'd obviously chosen them to reflect her misery. Her hair had been combed and it shone brightly, almost gold in the light of the braziers. Someone else had combed it though, one of the maids or perhaps the hanyou girl Tsukiyume.
It is morning, Sesshomaru realized, where is Tsukiyume? Usually his hanyou "hostage" visited with Rin in the mornings and early evenings, the two young women had grown fond of one another, as Sesshomaru had hoped they would. Perhaps Rin had dismissed her to go to her classes. It was another responsibility of the hanyou girl's, classes in all the arts, all the elements of education, and finally every style of fighting that she could stand. Sesshomaru wanted her educated, and he liked to see what she had learned from her fighting lessons. Were all hanyou as strong as Inuyasha in battle? Was there a secret strength in the survivors that Sesshomaru had never suspected? So far the hanyou girl hadn't given him an answer yet, and Rin had been cursed with miscarriages…
"I'm not hungry, Sesshomaru-sama."
He decided to be difficult. "You do not eat tea."
This at last drew a response. She turned and glared at him. Her eyes were a very deep color, a brown he supposed, but they often looked black. Most often it was when she was taken with desire for him, but they also appeared that way when filled to the brim with other emotions: bitterness, pain, loss…when she had been a child long ago he had often seen that expression when something would happen to make her remember the deaths of her family.
At last Rin reached for the tea and slowly poured herself a cup. As her hands released the tea kettle he caught them in his own, moving with a predatory swiftness that drew a gasp from Rin. He released one hand, pulling the one closest to him to grab hold of the tea cup in front of him. "Take this one as well." he ordered.
There was a hint of a frown on her face as her fingers closed around the cup and slowly pulled it back toward herself. She lifted it to her face and drank slowly, peeking at him over the uneven rim. Her gaze was dark still, full of emotion. Her scent was rank with it as well, rank with despair.
Her stare left Sesshomaru with a gradual, sinking feeling in his gut. He tried to dismiss the emotion but it was firm. He found himself thinking, Rin is not to blame for the losses.
It was his fault. He could never explain it to her, but he had long since understood it to be true. The mix between them, the offspring it created, could not seem to survive. Rin was a strong, fertile example of the female spirit. She wanted to give him a child with all of her being. But his inuyoukai seed overwhelmed the human genes. There was no balance. The babies died inside their mother. It was not Rin's body that failed, but the babies themselves that could not carry on.
He found himself wondering if even the inuyoukai girl from Nishiyori's family would be able to carry his heir…
"You're going away, aren't you?" Rin asked, cutting into his thoughts suddenly. She was searching his face, worriedly.
He didn't answer her question, but asked one of his own that told her in a roundabout way that he was leaving. "Will you recover?"
Her face fell. "Sesshomaru-sama…" there were tears glistening in her gaze. Sesshomaru looked away, his jaw tightening, the only sign of his distress at her tears. "I will be fine, but—you're leaving, so soon after…" she choked and lowered her face, "This lowly woman wishes that Lord Sesshomaru would stay with her while she mourns…"
"There is a war in the Middle Lands. I am expanding my territory, Rin. I must go—but I will return in three days, I promise you." he calculated quickly. A day to arrive. A day to prepare the girl and have her bound to him. A day to come back to Rin. It would be tight but it would work…
Luck was with him, he mused sickeningly, if Rin had been healthy she might've asked to go with him. He would have a hard time telling her no, she was accustomed to being pampered. With the latest miscarriage she was bound to the castle for a good week, mourning, recovering. When he returned she would be swiftly feeling better and they could resume their lives until the next doomed child sprang up in her womb…
Rin could see that there would be dissuading him. She kept her face lowered; wishing she were a girl again and that she had bangs to hide her eyes from him. "Sesshomaru-sama." She bowed slightly and turned away, showing him more of her back and shoulder.
"Rin." Sesshomaru murmured to her back. He might've reached out for her, might've kissed her or caressed her as a final good bye…but the thought of his secret from her, his treachery, it made him cold inside. He rose from her side and left, walking for the door.
A/N: For some reason his secret, his thoughts, are very, very seductive to little old me the writer. This spilled out of me at a remarkable rate. A hint for the first chapter:
Ginrei bit her lips and fought to hide her rage from them. Part of her mind reeled. Is this really happening? Am I really the only one that's been left alive? Am I really here before these strange demons being called "bitch" like I'm nothing more than…
And then it hit her, full force, like a fist in the face. Nothing more than breeding stock. She knew why she had been spared. She knew why they had gone from girl to girl, asking one question that most of the girls failed, all but her…