Title: Transition

Author: CosmicalMadison

Rating: K

Summary: Alex Cabot ponders what it will be like transitioning from her life in Wisconsin to a totally new one somewhere else and what she will leave behind. One-shot.

Author's Note: Okay, this is my first SVU fic, so I'm no expert. I took a lot of liberties (the town Alex was sent to, the name of her boyfriend, her new last name) for things I didn't know, so if these were specified somewhere I'd be overjoyed if you'd tell me. This story takes place after the episode where Alex comes back and there's the trial with the little Mexican boy, and at the end someone comes in and tells the others that she's being moved to a new identity. Sorry if any of this is confusing, and as always thanks for reading.

Alexandra Cabot knew what the man was going to say before the words left his mouth. In fact, she was so certain that she didn't even hear him say them, just saw his lips move in time to the horrible truth that was already flooding her mind: new identity. They were moving her to a new identity.

She could hear herself choking up, but before she could become too far gone, replied softly, "I understand. Could you please leave me alone for a moment?"

"Of course, Miss Cabot." He left quickly, the door swinging soundlessly closed behind him, leaving Alex sitting alone in the room. She felt dwarfed by the huge table at which she sat. It would easily seat a dozen people or more and was the only thing in the small conference room.

The former ADA felt like sobbing, but tried desperately to keep hold of herself. She kept trying to tell herself that she had lived through the Witness Protection Program once, when she had moved from New York City to Albany, Wisconsin and changed identity from Alexandra Cabot to Emily Whiteson. Of course it would be hard to totally pull her roots out of where she was now. True, she had only been there for a little while and they were still shallow, but the precious things were starting to grow and they were all she had left.

Oh, there would be so many things to leave behind this time. There would be so many things she would miss: her friends, new job, not to mention that the charming little town that had started to grow on her. Sure it was quiet at night; she often had to hum the Mr. Softy song just to fall asleep at night, but it wasn't all bad. As much as she had hated it when she had arrived, she would miss it terribly.

And speaking of her job, there were her coworkers. Sure, she didn't know many of them very well yet, but many had the potential to become her new best friends. And then there was Mark. Alex couldn't help but let out a moan when she thought of him. She swiftly clapped a hand over her mouth, hoping no one had heard. When she'd been uprooted from NYC, the former prosecutor had never imagined she would be able to find love in her new home.

And then Mark Harrison had come along. He had the desk right next to Alex's in their office, and they had become friends within the first few days of her starting work there. Then it had been a friendly dinner, followed by a few romantic ones, and almost before they knew it they were going steady. Alex felt tears running down her face as she though of the two of them in bed together. She loved him so much, but there were so many things he didn't know about her, so much that she could never reveal. The thing that always hurt her the most was when they were together, when he would say her name: Emily. But that wasn't her. That was some disguise the Witness Protection Program had worked up for her. Mark had never known the real Alex, had never even known that that was her real name!

Immediately she pushed these thoughts from her head. Mourning these things now wasn't going to help. No matter how much she sobbed and moaned she was still going to be moved. Would she even get to contact Mark once more, just to tell him goodbye? Of course she couldn't tell him where she was really going, but maybe she could work up an alibi so it wouldn't just seem like she had spontaneously disappeared from his life. She doubted that she would be given the opportunity. Too risky. She couldn't even bring herself to wonder what he would think when she never showed up again...

"Miss Cabot?" The man who had poked his head in the door sounded hesitant. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." Alex stood shakily, every fiber in her body proclaiming the exact opposite of the word she had just spoken. She would do anything to stay in Albany. She had a life there. She had Mark, she had everything. Given the choice between going back to her Wisconsin home or back in time to when she could safely be in New York, she honestly wasn't sure which one she would choose.

But none of that mattered now. As she stepped toward the door and let the man from the Witness Protection Program lead her away, she knew that this doorway was more than just a literal passage leading from the conference room into the hall beyond. No, to Alexandra Cabbot it represented much more than that. It was a symbol of a transition, unwilling but necessary, from one life to another.