The much awaited continuation of the previous chapter, Crossdressing. So at last I present this to you.
A few legal matters to clear up first though...
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Fullmetal Alchemist or any characters associated with it.
I also do not own, though I have visited, the camp that I attended when I got this idea.
Time: Two days and one night
Word count: 1203
"You're all expected to-" Riza's mid-day assignment briefing was interrupted by a knock, shortly followed by a major walking through the door.
"Hel-lo!" The spectacled Maes Hughes strode in and flopped himself beside the blonde on the couch. "How are you-"
He got interrupted by Riza Hawkeye clearing her throat and continuing with her briefing. "As I was saying you're all expected to complete-" She got cut off again by the flamboyant man.
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something? My department has finished it's meeting so I thought I could come by and talk to the Lieutenant Colonel. Oops," he caught the stare of the First Lieutenant, "was I interrupting again? I'll be quiet until the end of the meeting." With that he sat back down and let the first lieutenant finish her daily post-lunch meeting.
During that time he noticed the blonde beside him wasn't wearing his usual outfit.
"So with that sorted we can go to our work." She was just about to dismiss them when, again, Maes interrupted.
"Sorry to disturb all of you but I've got an announcement to make." Everyone tensed as they expected a flash round of photos. "First off I'd like to comment on how dashing Ed looks in that skirt." Everyone breathed again, except for Ed, who just puffed up and tried to intimidate him.
"Secondly, I got a batch of postcards with my family picture on them. Look isn't Elysia adorable? And isn't Gracia looking stupendous in that dress?" The office gave a collective sigh as they were treated to an in-depth analysis on how stunningly gorgeous his daughter and wife were.
Finally Maes pushed the bridge of his glasses up higher onto his nose signaling the end of the pictures.
"And last of all, I have a marvelous announcement to make."
The entire office was quiet as no-one drew a breath. Maes usually reserved the words 'marvelous' and 'announcement' for Elysia, but on the other hand, he rarely came into the office for nothing.
"It's Roy's birthday today."
-
Everybody's reactions were different.
Valman let out his breath, thankful it wasn't another announcement concerning Elysia; Breda's eyes widened as he looked back and forth between the two friends, while Fuery started clapping.
"Congratulations." Havoc actually took the cigarette out of his mouth to congratulate his superior and Riza gave a sedate, "Happy Birthday sir".
Of course the two with the best reactions were Ed and Roy.
Roy went white as a sheet and tried to push himself away from his traitorous friend but apparently all the strength had gone out of his arms, leaving them trembling as he braced himself against his desk as Edward howled with laughter and pointed at his superior officer.
"Ha! Another year older, geezer! Do you think you can take me on this year? No, you couldn't. Or is that not a white hair I see!"
Roy raised a gloved hand and levelly said, "Do you want me to burn that skirt off you, Fullmetal?", the strength apparently returning to his arm. Edward immediately sat back down, almost making a hole in the couch with the force and speed with which he did.
"Now, Roy, I won't let you scar anyone for life on your birthday. I don't think Ed would want to miss out on Gracia's lovely cake." At that moment Maes swung his arm out to the office door as Major Alex Louis Armstrong came in bearing an impressive looking cake decorated with a 28 in black icing.
"Happy Birthday sir! It's my pleasure to bring this cake to you!" the Major boomed as he set the cake down in front of Roy. Gracia had outdone herself in its decoration, icing on a transmutation circle in red and the dragon of Amestris in green.
"She thought she'd leave out the candles because it'd be pointless for you to light them and then blow them out. So instead of that Roy, and instead of a twenty-one gun salute," he eyed Riza, who had looked as if she was willing to participate though not necessarily for Roy, "we're going to do what they sometimes do at Elysia's creche. Armstrong?" Maes gestured to Armstrong and the muscular man moved behind Mustang's chair.
"What are you doing?" Roy panicked and grasped the table again but he was soon effortlessly picked up, while still sitting on his chair, by the muscled Major.
"Ahhh! What are you doing!" Roy yelled.
"One!" The Major lowered him almost to the floor and then picked him up again, practically swinging him up to shoulder height.
"Two!"
"You see," Maes turned to the slightly shocked and stunned observers, "he gets lifted up for every year of his life. Usually it's done with four people, one for each leg, but I thought it'd be easier with just Armstrong." They all nodded in response and started counting along with Armstrong.
-
"TWENTY-FIVE!"
"TWENTY-SIX!"
"TWENTY-SEVEN!"
"TWENTY-EIGHT!"
"Ninety!"
Ed delighted in chiming in at the end with the wrong number as Armstrong settled Roy down and then, later, singing the wrong words to "Happy Birthday".
Roy reached melting point when Ed started snickering over Maes cutting the cake.
"Okay, that's it. Maes do you have a camera?" Roy got up and walked over to the couch, glaring at the blonde in the miniskirt.
"Sure I do, it's your birthday." Maes held up the device.
"Good. Take a photo of what happens next."
"But sir," Riza cut in, "we have enough photos of you torturing Ed al-" she stopped as Roy picked up the Alchemist who was half his age.
"Hey what are you doing?" Ed squirmed in Roy's grip, trying to wriggle out of the rather embarrassing position that was being photographed by Maes. "Hey! Don't put your hand there ya dumbwit! I'm wearing a miniskirt!"
"Stop squirming then." With that Roy abruptly dropped Ed leaving him to think quickly and scramble to his feet.
"What ya do that for!"
"To make you stop making fun of me." Roy dusted off his hands and then helped himself to a piece of the cake. "Unless you're implying that because you are so compact that any old man can lift you?"
Ed's eyebrow did a little dance on his forehead before he opened his mouth to shout at his commanding officer.
"Now Ed," Roy held out a hand to stop his progress, "if you call me old man again you won't get a piece of this cake. And if you even think about stealing a piece or how to pay me back, Maes here has the camera." He smirked and then took a bite out of his cake.
Again Ed's facial features gave a little dance before he stormed to the door, tugged the skirt down and stormed out.
"Well." Roy glanced at the other members of his cohort. "Does anybody else want some of this cake?" he said holding up his piece that was half eaten.
-
Again based off a camp meeting, the situations of which I shall contrive to write in fanfiction form. Much more laughter can be expected. (The next one includes a short member being called a modern Nurse Nightingale.)