Since The Day They Was Born

Howdy there, friends! Welcome to Hazzard, especially on such a beautiful afternoon in April. It'sApril 8th, to be exact, and twenty-three years to the day since Beauregard Duke took his first breath of sweet Georgia air. Jesse Duke, his uncle, and his cousins Daisy and Luke are planning a bit of a surprise for Bo. With all the late spring chores keeping the wholefamily busy,it wasn't too hard to get Bo out of the house for the day, running the errands while Luke stayed behind to work on other chores. But it's pushin' on towards dinnertime now, and Jesse Duke is startin' to wonder, cause Bo is well overdue to come back from the feed store.

"Dang it, where's that boy gotten off too?" Jesse rumbled aloud. "He'd be late to a deer hunt if he slept in the stand with his bow in his hands!"

Daisy was sitting at the kitchen table behind the orange-frosted birthday cake, and Luke came out of the bedroom after changing out of his dirty workclothes.

"Aw, I'm sure it's just a flat tire, Uncle Jesse, he'll be back soon," Luke said, easing down to sit across from Daisy.

"That sounds like him now!" Daisy said as they all heard an engine rumbling up the drive. She stood up and looked out the window, only to see a police cruiser approaching instead.

Bo sat in the passenger seat, looking mighty annoyed at Deputy Enos Strate, who was driving. Uncle Jesse had raised a polite boy, though, and as Enos stopped the car, he turned to the deputy. "Thanks for the ride home, Enos," Bo tried not to sound sarcastic as he opened the car door. "Would you like to come in?"

"Oh, you're welcome, Bo - maybe for just a few minutes?" Enos said, with an eye towards Daisy standing on the front porch.

They both climbed out of the car, and Bo went straight into the farmhouse, followed by Enos and Daisy.

"What happened, Bo? Are you alright?" Daisy asked.

"Where's the truck?" Jesse added with a worried frown.

Bo smiled to see the birthday cake there waiting for him, but his bad mood showed as he sat down with a huff across from Luke. "Oh I'm just fine. The truck is back on Highway Seven."

"I'm real sorry about that speeding ticket, Bo," Enos apologized for the fifth time, taking off his hat.

"You let Enos give you a speeding ticket?" Luke asked with surprise. It wasn't that hard to outrun the deputy, even in Uncle Jesse's pickup, as the boys had proven many times.

Bo scowled. "I had to, when the dang fuel pump went and the truck gave out! And on my birthday, too, Enos!" he added accusingly.

"I'm sorry, Bo. I even asked Rosco on the radio if I had to, it being your birthday and all, and Rosco said I'd 'better dang well give you that ticket, especially if it's your birthday!'." Then Enos excused himself, saying he had to get back to work, and headed out the front door.

As the door shut, all three young Dukes were surprised to hear Jesse start laughing in his seat at the head of the table.

"It ain't funny, Uncle Jesse!" Bo huffed.

"Hee-hee-hee! Oh yes it is, boy! Hee-hee-hee!"

Daisy sat down while his laughter died down, and as Jesse wiped a joyful tear from one eye, they looked at him for an explanation.

"Hee-hee! All three of you have been in trouble with the law since the very day you was born, an' I wouldn't expect anythin' less from Rosco today!"

"What do you mean, Uncle Jesse?" Luke asked.

Jesse shook his head, still smiling, and took a sip of coffee from his mug on the table. "Bo, I don't suppose you know you got a speeding ticket the day you was born?"

Bo had to grin himself at the idea. "Well no, sir! Did I really?"

"Oh yes! Of course, you weren't at the wheel, your daddy was, with me in front with him an' your momma in the back seat with my Martha. We was comin' back from church when your momma said it was time, and John, he took off for the hospital like he was outrunnin' a wildfire! Rosco stopped us with a roadblock about halfway there, thinkin' we were runnin' moonshine! And you, you was born right then an' there at that roadblock, Bo, with your daddy's shirt for a baby blanket. Ol' Rosco was mad that he couldn't arrest us for runnin' shine, so he wrote you a speeding ticket instead!"

Bo and Luke laughed, but Daisy didn't quite believe it. "That's silly, Uncle Jesse! Why would Rosco think you were runnin' moonshine when Bo's momma was in labor in the back seat?"

Jesse turned a twinkling eye on his niece. "Because your momma and daddy were runnin' shine when you was born!"

"They weren't!" Daisy looked aghast as Bo and Luke laughed harder.

"Oh yes they were! I was there with them that time, too - we was makin' the usual rounds, and since your momma was near due, we took her with us just in case. Sure enough, on the way to our last stop - Doc Appleby's, thankfully - she tells us it's her time just as Rosco pulls into view behind us, lights and sirens wailin'. Your daddy drove straight on to Doc Appleby's with Rosco on our tail, and Doc managed to get us out of trouble by sayin' we were delivering a shipment of disinfectant for him. Rosco was real sore, though the sight of a beautiful little newborn baby girl kept him from arguing much. Not even he had the heart to arrest your daddy an' me that day, with your bigblue eyes looking up at him."

"Hey, what about me, Uncle Jesse?" Luke asked as the newest round of laughter died down.

"You! Oh, you!" Jesse shook his head at the memory, "Luke, neither of your cousins could quite match the trouble you caused that day!"

All three young faces leaned forward eagerly to hear the tale.

"Friday, September 9th - Dry Friday, your daddy would joke. Me an' your daddy were working out on Still Site 10, brewin' as fine a batch as we ever did make. It was a hot day, for September, and your momma, bless her soul, brought us lunch and a jug of cold cider. She wasn't there five minutes when your time came, and we were much too far out in the woods to get her to the car. So, we cleaned up and made her comfortable on the picnic blanket, and a healthy blue-eyed baby boy was born within the hour. What we didn't count on was you settin' such a squall when we cleaned you up! Rosco was brand new as a sheriff back then, and he was searchin' around through the woods on foot for our still. Your cryin' brought him runnin' like a hound to a food bowl! When your daddy an' me heard him comin', we were hard pressed to dump every drop of moonshine before he got there! We did it, though, and stayed out of jail, though we lost the still site - Rosco tore apart all our equipment, for good measure. Your daddy thought it was more than a fair trade, though - he was so proud to have his little boy!"

There was another bout of laughter all around, though Luke just smiled, playing with the gold ring on his finger. He only barely remembered his father and mother, more so than Daisy or Bo, who were both too young to remember when their parents died along with his. Then Daisy stood, interrupting his bittersweet thoughts.

"Well, are we gonna sit here talkin' all day or what? We've got a birthday boy here who needs to blow out some candles and make a wish!" she said, hugging her younger cousin from behind. Then she leaned past him and lit the candles on the bright orange cake, while Luke and Jesse laughed and broke into a harmoniousrendition of 'Happy Birthday'. Bo grinned and blew out all twenty-three candles in one go. He still wasn't happy about the speeding ticket, but he sure felt better, and was glad to have his family there to share his special day with.

Aww, now ain't that sweet? Just goes to show, when the Dukes are involved, ain't nothin' normal that goes on in Hazzard, not even a baby being born. Bye now!

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The End