Hi minna! Okay, first of all I want to give HUGE thanks to everyone who
helped me with this story; Serenity Raye, Don, Pete, Zeeder, MoonAngel,
and whoever it was that gave us the idea for the bath scene. Without you
all, this story wouldn't be half as funny as it is ^_^
We tried to make this as funny as possible -- PLEASE give us feedback
on this! We all worked very hard on this!!
Usual Disclaimers Apply -- nope; as much as we'd like to think it,
not the first one of us own Sailor Moon. Bummer, isn't it?
Hope you enjoy!!!!
************************************
~*~ Pink Haired Trouble~*~
Part: Prologue and Day One
Authors: Bethany - [email protected]
Serenity Raye - [email protected]
Don - [email protected]
Pete - [email protected]
Zeeder - [email protected]
MoonAngel14 - [email protected]
Editor: Starsinger
Rating: PG 13 (language and "uncomfortable" situations)
************************************
~*~ Prologue ~*~
The inner and outer guardians stood to attention, their hands
clasped tightly behind their backs. Neo-Queen Serenity walked slowly
back and forth in front of them. She paid special attention to each of
her royal guard. They all looked calm and collected. This was an important
event. They had been training well over a thousand years for this very moment.
"Senshi," the Queen started, head held up to regal standards. "Today
is the day you have been trained for... I wish you all good luck."
Beside her, dressed in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, stood her husband.
He rolled his eyes continuously through her speech. However, had she
looked at him, his clothes reverted back to their *royal* get up -
a lavender tux complete with mask and cape - and his face as stone hard
as he usually was during meetings.
Smiling to herself, Serenity continued, "I entrust each of you with
this task, and I hope to find everything in order upon my return."
Her fancy speech was interrupted shortly, "Alright already! Cut it
out, or Endymion does the speeches from now on! Capiche? Jeez, Odango!
Go already!" Rei demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
Endymion laughed shortly, before a glare from Usagi cut him off. "Ok,
but - are you sure your ready for this?" she asked.
All the scouts nodded their heads, Haruka coming forward. "It's ok...
if we need help, we'll call the Lights. Now GO!"
Slowly, forced slightly by Endymion, Serenity stepped into the waiting
Ship, "Are you sure?"
"Pleazeeee," Mako drawled, "how much trouble can a three year old be?
Piece of cake."
Famous last words, dear readers - famous last words.
!@#%$#$^%$%&$%^*$%^&@%$#!%#%$!@#%@$%&$($^&!^%@$#%!@#^@%$&#^%*@%^!$#^@%$&*
The trip was relatively uneventful. They arrived on Kabre (Bethany:
unknown planet that I made up while typing it ^^) and checked into their
suite.
"Mamo-chan?"
"Hai, Usako?"
"Do you really think they'll be okay?" the Queen asked, worry evident
in her voice.
"Of course! Now, this is the first time since Small Lady's birth that
I've gotten you away from the palace, and you WILL NOT worry about our
daughter. Besides," he yawned, "how much trouble can they get into in three
days?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~ Day One ~*~
Staying close to the wall, darkness surrounding her, Haruka slid
down the massive hallway. Like a cat she moved gracefully and in
complete silence. In front of her, approximately ten feet, was her goal.
Her mission. Her prize and all that that implied. She would win this fight!
She would not be taken down and for that she would have the gloating
satisfaction of being the first to--
"Dammit!!!" she yelled as her goal took off, leaving a trail of
giggles behind her.
"CHIBI-USA!!!!!!!!!" the wail was heard through out the entire
palace, and by the four senshi standing in the royal nursery.
Minako laughed snidely, "Serves her right! I told her she'd never
catch Small Lady on her own."
Rei shuffled her feet and studied her hands in a vain attempt to
keep from laughing. It didn't work, "HAHAHA!! Kami-sama! What was she
thinking?!!" the former priestess cried, grabbing her stomach and almost
doubled over in the essence of it all.
You see, three hours ago Serenity and Endymion had left the palace
for a 'romantic get-away' as Endymion liked to call it, or 'Endymion's
attempt at un-interrupted sex' as Serenity would put it.
Either way the royal family had left all the palace business, all
the state affairs to the "capable" senshi. The Neo-Queen's only mistake
was that she allowed Endymion to convince her that all the inner and
outer senshi could take on wild three-year-old by themselves.
For three whole days and nights.
Mako was dumbfounded.
As usual when it came to the first royal princess.
As soon as Endymion and Serenity's ship was out of site...
... So was their daughter.
Cookies, cat calls, promises they never intended to keep - all
failed to lure the three-year old from wherever it was she has taken
off to. So, they had tried... desperately... tried to find her.
They started with the children's wing. Where the maid present had
informed the group that Small Lady had been there within the last ten
minutes, wearing pink bunny pajama's with matching hood.
Five minutes later, on the opposite side of the palace,
the head butler for the royal family seen the small rabbit rush past
with a large broach of some sort - and wearing a blue dress.
"AHH!! Small Lady has the crystal!!" cried Makoto.
"What?!" screamed the senshi.
*SMACK* "Get a hold of yourself!" Minako cried. "Serenity has
it with her!"
Simultaneous groans were heard all about.
"Okay, we got to find her. Ami, Rei - take the south wing. Michiru,
Haruka - north wing. Hotaru, Setsuna - west wing. Minako and I will take
the east wing," Makoto directed. The senshi started off on their hunt.
"Wait!" Rei called, effectively stopping the senshi in their tracks.
"Minna, put her pj's back on!"
The senshi looked at her, then in unison. "Ami, you do it!"
"WHAT?!" the dumbfounded and deserted Ami screamed, watching in
wonder as all the senshi disappeared through out the palace.
Setsuna aimlessly walked around the palace grounds, thoroughly
unamused by the little girl's antics. The future dictated that they
would become friends... but no one said she had to like it.
"No trouble," mimicked Setsuna, "Just three days. HA! If only she
knew how brash those-"
*rustle**rustle*
Hold the phone! Did that bush just move? Summoning all her skills
accumulated over the past years, the guardian of time stealthily
disappeared into the foliage and crept up on the unsuspecting target.
The little munchkin's destructive run was going to end here and now!
"Ah ha!" Setsuna triumphantly proclaimed. "Gotcha!!"
*squish!*
Indeed, the girl she caught was Small Lady. Now, the *squish*? What
made that sound? Well, what would YOU be doing if you were a three-year
old and hiding behind the bushes? Relieving yourself, of course.
Suddenly, the semi-expected pungent aroma of human defecation
reached Setsuna's sensitive nose... and almost made her throw up.
"YUCK!"
Instead of feeling embarrassed, Chibi-Usa smiled and innocently said,
"I made a boo boo."
An internal struggle took place in Setsuna's heart: dump the baby
and save her clothes or take the baby and ruin her nice, new, expensive
dress. Do I even need to tell you which option she chose?
All across the palace grounds, even into the darkest dungeon,
everyone could hear one very pissed off guardian of time shout,
"GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!!"
Haruka and Michiru - or rather Uranus and Neptune, took off down
the north wing. Ahead they spotted a pink blur rounding the corner.
"Michi, that way!" Uranus attempted to make a sharp curve but
slipped on a wet spot. Her legs went flying out from under her body and she
landed hard in the puddle.
"Do you mind?" she asked, looking up. Neptune continued laughing.
After a few moments she offered her hand and pulled her love up.
"Haruka, you gotta bathe," Michiru stated, holding her nose.
Uranus looked around and then down at the wet spot on the floor,
then touched the wet spot on her backside.
The warm, wet spot.
The smelly, warm, wet spot.
"Awww damn it!" Pulling her communicator out, she pressed the 'all
call' button. "Listen up minna, Small Lady is heading west and she is
leaking. Saturn, Pluto - good luck!"
She glared at Neptune who was laughing again. "She.... you....
pee...." doubling over she grabbed her stomach.
"Yeah, yeah... yuk it up. I'm going to change."
Setsuna looked down.
A giggle. Then a swoosh of pink hair as Chibi-Usa ran past her.
"THAT'S IT!!" Setsuna screamed, so loudly that the palace grounds
seemed to feel the vibration.
Suddenly time stopped. Just plain stopped, dead, everything.
Setsuna took this time to look for Chibi-Usa. Finding her, she strolled
straight to the nursery and dropped the infant into the playpen, changed
her back into her pjs and resumed time.
In a flash everyone was in the toddler's room, applauding the worn
out senshi on her capture.
Their applauding, however, was short lived.
Swiping her hand in front of her, Minako made a face of total
disgust. "WHAT is that SMELL?!"
Looking around, the senshi tried to find the source of the horrific
smell. Suddenly they need not look anymore.
"Ewwww!" the toddler scrunched her nose up and took her diaper off.
"That ewwwwiee!"
"Ara Setsuna, I thought stopping time was one of your *forbidden*
powers?" Michiru pointed out.
The woman in question snorted at her ruined clothing and replied,
"Anything goes when I'm ticked off."
The rest of the senshi left it at that and retired to their respective
rooms, supposedly for a good night's rest.
Supposedly.
~*~ one hour later ~*~
Seated in front of a large mirror, Minako continued to brush her
long hair, wet after a late, late, LATE evening shower. Day one was
almost gone, and, indeed, day two held many surprises. She was just glad
to have a third of her death sentence over and done with. With a great
big sigh and an even greater and even bigger *plop* onto the bed, the
blonde closed her eyes and cuddled in her pillows. Before sleep could
take completely over, however, the silence was shattered.
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Freakin' communicator. Can't live with it, can't lose it. And
believe you me, Minako had tried, and tried hard.
"Hai," she drearily answered, anger slowly surging forth.
"Hi Mina-chan!" a cheery voice answered. Great. It was Serenity.
Putting on a plastered smile, the senshi of love replied, "What a
pleasant surprise!!!" Not.
"How's Small Lady? We couldn't sleep without checking up on you guys!
Was she a handful?"
"A handful?!" No, she wasn't a handful. Try armful, truckload, or
freakin' huge ass and you'll still be far off. "No, she wasn't a handful."
"Good! Is she tucked away in bed?"
"Hold on, Serenity. Lemme check."
Why did Minako get out of bed to check on the pink haired demon?
Why did she walk all the way down the hall, take a right, and knock on
the door? Hell if I know, but when she got there, the formerly locked
door was assuredly unlocked.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" she wailed into the communicator.
Our dear queen and king was brought to immediate attention. "What?!
What's wrong?!"
"Uhhh, no... nothing," Minako stuttered, "I was just saying, 'AHHHHH!!!
THERE you are Small Lady!"
What a save. Bravo!
"Whew. Can I talk to her?"
Good one genius. How are you going to cover THIS one? Like any person,
Minako did the only thing she could do. "I have to go to the bathroom. Bye!"
With a soft *beep*, Serenity was disconnected and the entire force
of the Sailor Senshi was summoned.
Outside of Haruka and Michiru's room...
"Oh baby, yes, more..."
"You tease!"
"Ahhhh, so you-"
"Baka! Stop that Haruka!"
"Oooooooooo... "
"Mmmmmmmmmm.... "
With all the grunts and groans, our two lovebirds failed to hear the
beeping of their communicators. With all the oh-babies and come-ons, the
two *ahem* responsible individuals failed to notice one little girl who
opened their door and was treated to a litany of fast moving, wavering,
and struggling shadows.
Chibi-Usa immediately gasped, the worst coming to her mind:
Haruka and Michiru were being attacked in their rooms!
Now, when you are a permanent resident of the palace, you absorb many
concepts: like what you are suppose to do when one of your friends are
attacked. The response is typically to fight back with all your might.
Chibi-Usa had lived all her life in the palace. The one thing about kids
is that they're especially observant and Chibi-Usa was no exception. With
a three-year-old approximation of a battle cry, she leapt into the fray,
trying to attack the fictional creature attacking Haruka and Michiru.
Haruka and Michiru, who had been occupied, could not help but be
distracted with 30 pounds of toddler flying toward them. They leapt aside
using lightning reflexes gained after fighting many campaigns.
Chibi-Usa attacked the bed sheet monster and pummeled it with all the
enthusiasm a three-year-old could muster. Unfortunately, the bed sheet
monster was incredibly cunning and managed a neat trick of its own: it
wrapped the child in its linen grip. Chibi-Usa cried as she fought her way
to the surface, afraid that the bed sheet monster was trying to eat her.
When she managed to disentangle herself, she spotted a very perplexed
Haruka and Michiru. It was the sort of look a three-year-old got when she
was in trouble. Fortunately, the three years she spent in existence did not
go to waste. She had learned the secret weapon that every three year old
has in their possession; the look of cuteness.
Chibi-Usa used her greatest power, the look of cuteness, to the full
advantage upon two frowning - nude - adults.
Given that everyone in the palace was searching for one, "Small Lady," it
could easily be assumed that the entire royal population was pretty much on
edge. Imagine their fright when a high-pitched, pre-teen voice shattered,
maimed, and super-novaed the calm night. Within a bat of an eyelash, guards,
guard dogs, guardians, and even a few gardeners were standing outside the very
open and very well lit room of Haruka and Michiru.
All was silent. Why? Well, the men were ogling at the two naked senshi and
the senshi were blacking out at the sight of a three year old princess sitting
in the sheets of a... a... "tainted" bed.
Said princess was the first to break the silence. "Gomen nasai... I...
I..." She just couldn't complete the sentence; two bewildered, extremely
embarrassed, and naked senshi standing in front of her was too much. Her voice
eventually died down to a whisper.
Then, after summoning enough courage, the little girl asked, "What were
you doing?"
Oh God... The "birds and bees" talk. The talk all parents have when their
children catch them doing the nasty. Dammit, and her parents weren't home!!!
Clearly, no one wanted to be the bearer of sex-ed. It was... was... SICK.
A loud stampede of footsteps answered Small Lady's question: everyone
had taken the moment of indecisiveness to leave. All, save one slow moving
Sailor Venus.
"Mina-chan!!" yelled Chibi-Usa, "What was they doing?"
Fight or flight instincts kicked in. The blonde tried to run, but the
demon girl took out the BIG guns.
"If you don't tell me, I'LL CRY!!! WAAAAAA-"
"Ok! Ok! Ok!" The unlucky, slow moving, tired, and extremely agitated
senshi edged back into the room and sat on the coffee table.
"Mina-chan... why don't you sit on the couch?"
The idea graced her mind, but one look at the discarded clothing and
crumpled fabric immediately shied her away. "Uhhhh, no, Michiru. The coffee
table is fine."
Thinking nothing of the cautious tone, Chibi-Usa proceeded with her
interrogation. "What were Haruka and Michiru doing in here? I thought they
were being attacked..."
"Well, you see... darling... Small Lady... Chibi-Usa... princess...
ummm, they weren't being attacked."
And what pray tell, Minako, WERE they doing?! At least tell the girl
SOMETHING. Jeez, some people. Even after living for a thousand years, they
can't handle children. SHEESH!!!!
"So what was going on?"
"They... we... were... talking?" Haruka answered in a question.
"Why so loud?"
The blonde dumbfoundedly blinked a few times, "They were talking loudly?"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!!! I'M GOING TO-"
"Alright! Alright! They were doing the dirty deed!!! There?! Happy?!"
It was Chibi-Usa's turn to look confused. "The what?"
"The dirty deed! The freak nasty! The horizontal mambo! The honeymoon
tradition!"
Nope. She was still puzzled.
"They were making babies!... sorta... Getting off on each other! Having
their ton-"
And like that, Small Lady left the room because she deemed Minako was
getting way too scary. That night when she slept, she'd have nightmares about
the "incident." However, she didn't sleep until five hours later. She was
planning to ask some other less scary people.
*****************
Hey peoples! Bethany here.... guess what?? we like feedback!!! really!
I'm not lying!!! Please email one or all of us with your comments, rantings,
ravings, anything!! Thanks!!!!!!
helped me with this story; Serenity Raye, Don, Pete, Zeeder, MoonAngel,
and whoever it was that gave us the idea for the bath scene. Without you
all, this story wouldn't be half as funny as it is ^_^
We tried to make this as funny as possible -- PLEASE give us feedback
on this! We all worked very hard on this!!
Usual Disclaimers Apply -- nope; as much as we'd like to think it,
not the first one of us own Sailor Moon. Bummer, isn't it?
Hope you enjoy!!!!
************************************
~*~ Pink Haired Trouble~*~
Part: Prologue and Day One
Authors: Bethany - [email protected]
Serenity Raye - [email protected]
Don - [email protected]
Pete - [email protected]
Zeeder - [email protected]
MoonAngel14 - [email protected]
Editor: Starsinger
Rating: PG 13 (language and "uncomfortable" situations)
************************************
~*~ Prologue ~*~
The inner and outer guardians stood to attention, their hands
clasped tightly behind their backs. Neo-Queen Serenity walked slowly
back and forth in front of them. She paid special attention to each of
her royal guard. They all looked calm and collected. This was an important
event. They had been training well over a thousand years for this very moment.
"Senshi," the Queen started, head held up to regal standards. "Today
is the day you have been trained for... I wish you all good luck."
Beside her, dressed in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, stood her husband.
He rolled his eyes continuously through her speech. However, had she
looked at him, his clothes reverted back to their *royal* get up -
a lavender tux complete with mask and cape - and his face as stone hard
as he usually was during meetings.
Smiling to herself, Serenity continued, "I entrust each of you with
this task, and I hope to find everything in order upon my return."
Her fancy speech was interrupted shortly, "Alright already! Cut it
out, or Endymion does the speeches from now on! Capiche? Jeez, Odango!
Go already!" Rei demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
Endymion laughed shortly, before a glare from Usagi cut him off. "Ok,
but - are you sure your ready for this?" she asked.
All the scouts nodded their heads, Haruka coming forward. "It's ok...
if we need help, we'll call the Lights. Now GO!"
Slowly, forced slightly by Endymion, Serenity stepped into the waiting
Ship, "Are you sure?"
"Pleazeeee," Mako drawled, "how much trouble can a three year old be?
Piece of cake."
Famous last words, dear readers - famous last words.
!@#%$#$^%$%&$%^*$%^&@%$#!%#%$!@#%@$%&$($^&!^%@$#%!@#^@%$&#^%*@%^!$#^@%$&*
The trip was relatively uneventful. They arrived on Kabre (Bethany:
unknown planet that I made up while typing it ^^) and checked into their
suite.
"Mamo-chan?"
"Hai, Usako?"
"Do you really think they'll be okay?" the Queen asked, worry evident
in her voice.
"Of course! Now, this is the first time since Small Lady's birth that
I've gotten you away from the palace, and you WILL NOT worry about our
daughter. Besides," he yawned, "how much trouble can they get into in three
days?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~ Day One ~*~
Staying close to the wall, darkness surrounding her, Haruka slid
down the massive hallway. Like a cat she moved gracefully and in
complete silence. In front of her, approximately ten feet, was her goal.
Her mission. Her prize and all that that implied. She would win this fight!
She would not be taken down and for that she would have the gloating
satisfaction of being the first to--
"Dammit!!!" she yelled as her goal took off, leaving a trail of
giggles behind her.
"CHIBI-USA!!!!!!!!!" the wail was heard through out the entire
palace, and by the four senshi standing in the royal nursery.
Minako laughed snidely, "Serves her right! I told her she'd never
catch Small Lady on her own."
Rei shuffled her feet and studied her hands in a vain attempt to
keep from laughing. It didn't work, "HAHAHA!! Kami-sama! What was she
thinking?!!" the former priestess cried, grabbing her stomach and almost
doubled over in the essence of it all.
You see, three hours ago Serenity and Endymion had left the palace
for a 'romantic get-away' as Endymion liked to call it, or 'Endymion's
attempt at un-interrupted sex' as Serenity would put it.
Either way the royal family had left all the palace business, all
the state affairs to the "capable" senshi. The Neo-Queen's only mistake
was that she allowed Endymion to convince her that all the inner and
outer senshi could take on wild three-year-old by themselves.
For three whole days and nights.
Mako was dumbfounded.
As usual when it came to the first royal princess.
As soon as Endymion and Serenity's ship was out of site...
... So was their daughter.
Cookies, cat calls, promises they never intended to keep - all
failed to lure the three-year old from wherever it was she has taken
off to. So, they had tried... desperately... tried to find her.
They started with the children's wing. Where the maid present had
informed the group that Small Lady had been there within the last ten
minutes, wearing pink bunny pajama's with matching hood.
Five minutes later, on the opposite side of the palace,
the head butler for the royal family seen the small rabbit rush past
with a large broach of some sort - and wearing a blue dress.
"AHH!! Small Lady has the crystal!!" cried Makoto.
"What?!" screamed the senshi.
*SMACK* "Get a hold of yourself!" Minako cried. "Serenity has
it with her!"
Simultaneous groans were heard all about.
"Okay, we got to find her. Ami, Rei - take the south wing. Michiru,
Haruka - north wing. Hotaru, Setsuna - west wing. Minako and I will take
the east wing," Makoto directed. The senshi started off on their hunt.
"Wait!" Rei called, effectively stopping the senshi in their tracks.
"Minna, put her pj's back on!"
The senshi looked at her, then in unison. "Ami, you do it!"
"WHAT?!" the dumbfounded and deserted Ami screamed, watching in
wonder as all the senshi disappeared through out the palace.
Setsuna aimlessly walked around the palace grounds, thoroughly
unamused by the little girl's antics. The future dictated that they
would become friends... but no one said she had to like it.
"No trouble," mimicked Setsuna, "Just three days. HA! If only she
knew how brash those-"
*rustle**rustle*
Hold the phone! Did that bush just move? Summoning all her skills
accumulated over the past years, the guardian of time stealthily
disappeared into the foliage and crept up on the unsuspecting target.
The little munchkin's destructive run was going to end here and now!
"Ah ha!" Setsuna triumphantly proclaimed. "Gotcha!!"
*squish!*
Indeed, the girl she caught was Small Lady. Now, the *squish*? What
made that sound? Well, what would YOU be doing if you were a three-year
old and hiding behind the bushes? Relieving yourself, of course.
Suddenly, the semi-expected pungent aroma of human defecation
reached Setsuna's sensitive nose... and almost made her throw up.
"YUCK!"
Instead of feeling embarrassed, Chibi-Usa smiled and innocently said,
"I made a boo boo."
An internal struggle took place in Setsuna's heart: dump the baby
and save her clothes or take the baby and ruin her nice, new, expensive
dress. Do I even need to tell you which option she chose?
All across the palace grounds, even into the darkest dungeon,
everyone could hear one very pissed off guardian of time shout,
"GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!!"
Haruka and Michiru - or rather Uranus and Neptune, took off down
the north wing. Ahead they spotted a pink blur rounding the corner.
"Michi, that way!" Uranus attempted to make a sharp curve but
slipped on a wet spot. Her legs went flying out from under her body and she
landed hard in the puddle.
"Do you mind?" she asked, looking up. Neptune continued laughing.
After a few moments she offered her hand and pulled her love up.
"Haruka, you gotta bathe," Michiru stated, holding her nose.
Uranus looked around and then down at the wet spot on the floor,
then touched the wet spot on her backside.
The warm, wet spot.
The smelly, warm, wet spot.
"Awww damn it!" Pulling her communicator out, she pressed the 'all
call' button. "Listen up minna, Small Lady is heading west and she is
leaking. Saturn, Pluto - good luck!"
She glared at Neptune who was laughing again. "She.... you....
pee...." doubling over she grabbed her stomach.
"Yeah, yeah... yuk it up. I'm going to change."
Setsuna looked down.
A giggle. Then a swoosh of pink hair as Chibi-Usa ran past her.
"THAT'S IT!!" Setsuna screamed, so loudly that the palace grounds
seemed to feel the vibration.
Suddenly time stopped. Just plain stopped, dead, everything.
Setsuna took this time to look for Chibi-Usa. Finding her, she strolled
straight to the nursery and dropped the infant into the playpen, changed
her back into her pjs and resumed time.
In a flash everyone was in the toddler's room, applauding the worn
out senshi on her capture.
Their applauding, however, was short lived.
Swiping her hand in front of her, Minako made a face of total
disgust. "WHAT is that SMELL?!"
Looking around, the senshi tried to find the source of the horrific
smell. Suddenly they need not look anymore.
"Ewwww!" the toddler scrunched her nose up and took her diaper off.
"That ewwwwiee!"
"Ara Setsuna, I thought stopping time was one of your *forbidden*
powers?" Michiru pointed out.
The woman in question snorted at her ruined clothing and replied,
"Anything goes when I'm ticked off."
The rest of the senshi left it at that and retired to their respective
rooms, supposedly for a good night's rest.
Supposedly.
~*~ one hour later ~*~
Seated in front of a large mirror, Minako continued to brush her
long hair, wet after a late, late, LATE evening shower. Day one was
almost gone, and, indeed, day two held many surprises. She was just glad
to have a third of her death sentence over and done with. With a great
big sigh and an even greater and even bigger *plop* onto the bed, the
blonde closed her eyes and cuddled in her pillows. Before sleep could
take completely over, however, the silence was shattered.
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Freakin' communicator. Can't live with it, can't lose it. And
believe you me, Minako had tried, and tried hard.
"Hai," she drearily answered, anger slowly surging forth.
"Hi Mina-chan!" a cheery voice answered. Great. It was Serenity.
Putting on a plastered smile, the senshi of love replied, "What a
pleasant surprise!!!" Not.
"How's Small Lady? We couldn't sleep without checking up on you guys!
Was she a handful?"
"A handful?!" No, she wasn't a handful. Try armful, truckload, or
freakin' huge ass and you'll still be far off. "No, she wasn't a handful."
"Good! Is she tucked away in bed?"
"Hold on, Serenity. Lemme check."
Why did Minako get out of bed to check on the pink haired demon?
Why did she walk all the way down the hall, take a right, and knock on
the door? Hell if I know, but when she got there, the formerly locked
door was assuredly unlocked.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" she wailed into the communicator.
Our dear queen and king was brought to immediate attention. "What?!
What's wrong?!"
"Uhhh, no... nothing," Minako stuttered, "I was just saying, 'AHHHHH!!!
THERE you are Small Lady!"
What a save. Bravo!
"Whew. Can I talk to her?"
Good one genius. How are you going to cover THIS one? Like any person,
Minako did the only thing she could do. "I have to go to the bathroom. Bye!"
With a soft *beep*, Serenity was disconnected and the entire force
of the Sailor Senshi was summoned.
Outside of Haruka and Michiru's room...
"Oh baby, yes, more..."
"You tease!"
"Ahhhh, so you-"
"Baka! Stop that Haruka!"
"Oooooooooo... "
"Mmmmmmmmmm.... "
With all the grunts and groans, our two lovebirds failed to hear the
beeping of their communicators. With all the oh-babies and come-ons, the
two *ahem* responsible individuals failed to notice one little girl who
opened their door and was treated to a litany of fast moving, wavering,
and struggling shadows.
Chibi-Usa immediately gasped, the worst coming to her mind:
Haruka and Michiru were being attacked in their rooms!
Now, when you are a permanent resident of the palace, you absorb many
concepts: like what you are suppose to do when one of your friends are
attacked. The response is typically to fight back with all your might.
Chibi-Usa had lived all her life in the palace. The one thing about kids
is that they're especially observant and Chibi-Usa was no exception. With
a three-year-old approximation of a battle cry, she leapt into the fray,
trying to attack the fictional creature attacking Haruka and Michiru.
Haruka and Michiru, who had been occupied, could not help but be
distracted with 30 pounds of toddler flying toward them. They leapt aside
using lightning reflexes gained after fighting many campaigns.
Chibi-Usa attacked the bed sheet monster and pummeled it with all the
enthusiasm a three-year-old could muster. Unfortunately, the bed sheet
monster was incredibly cunning and managed a neat trick of its own: it
wrapped the child in its linen grip. Chibi-Usa cried as she fought her way
to the surface, afraid that the bed sheet monster was trying to eat her.
When she managed to disentangle herself, she spotted a very perplexed
Haruka and Michiru. It was the sort of look a three-year-old got when she
was in trouble. Fortunately, the three years she spent in existence did not
go to waste. She had learned the secret weapon that every three year old
has in their possession; the look of cuteness.
Chibi-Usa used her greatest power, the look of cuteness, to the full
advantage upon two frowning - nude - adults.
Given that everyone in the palace was searching for one, "Small Lady," it
could easily be assumed that the entire royal population was pretty much on
edge. Imagine their fright when a high-pitched, pre-teen voice shattered,
maimed, and super-novaed the calm night. Within a bat of an eyelash, guards,
guard dogs, guardians, and even a few gardeners were standing outside the very
open and very well lit room of Haruka and Michiru.
All was silent. Why? Well, the men were ogling at the two naked senshi and
the senshi were blacking out at the sight of a three year old princess sitting
in the sheets of a... a... "tainted" bed.
Said princess was the first to break the silence. "Gomen nasai... I...
I..." She just couldn't complete the sentence; two bewildered, extremely
embarrassed, and naked senshi standing in front of her was too much. Her voice
eventually died down to a whisper.
Then, after summoning enough courage, the little girl asked, "What were
you doing?"
Oh God... The "birds and bees" talk. The talk all parents have when their
children catch them doing the nasty. Dammit, and her parents weren't home!!!
Clearly, no one wanted to be the bearer of sex-ed. It was... was... SICK.
A loud stampede of footsteps answered Small Lady's question: everyone
had taken the moment of indecisiveness to leave. All, save one slow moving
Sailor Venus.
"Mina-chan!!" yelled Chibi-Usa, "What was they doing?"
Fight or flight instincts kicked in. The blonde tried to run, but the
demon girl took out the BIG guns.
"If you don't tell me, I'LL CRY!!! WAAAAAA-"
"Ok! Ok! Ok!" The unlucky, slow moving, tired, and extremely agitated
senshi edged back into the room and sat on the coffee table.
"Mina-chan... why don't you sit on the couch?"
The idea graced her mind, but one look at the discarded clothing and
crumpled fabric immediately shied her away. "Uhhhh, no, Michiru. The coffee
table is fine."
Thinking nothing of the cautious tone, Chibi-Usa proceeded with her
interrogation. "What were Haruka and Michiru doing in here? I thought they
were being attacked..."
"Well, you see... darling... Small Lady... Chibi-Usa... princess...
ummm, they weren't being attacked."
And what pray tell, Minako, WERE they doing?! At least tell the girl
SOMETHING. Jeez, some people. Even after living for a thousand years, they
can't handle children. SHEESH!!!!
"So what was going on?"
"They... we... were... talking?" Haruka answered in a question.
"Why so loud?"
The blonde dumbfoundedly blinked a few times, "They were talking loudly?"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!!! I'M GOING TO-"
"Alright! Alright! They were doing the dirty deed!!! There?! Happy?!"
It was Chibi-Usa's turn to look confused. "The what?"
"The dirty deed! The freak nasty! The horizontal mambo! The honeymoon
tradition!"
Nope. She was still puzzled.
"They were making babies!... sorta... Getting off on each other! Having
their ton-"
And like that, Small Lady left the room because she deemed Minako was
getting way too scary. That night when she slept, she'd have nightmares about
the "incident." However, she didn't sleep until five hours later. She was
planning to ask some other less scary people.
*****************
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I'm not lying!!! Please email one or all of us with your comments, rantings,
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