Welcome to chapter one of my newest story, "Vegeta's Guide to Healing"!

Vegeta: Wasn't this just something you made up in "Strange Job 1" for humour?

Cir: Yes, and this is also your personnally writen novel!

Vegeta: Then why do you write it?

Cir: It's from your point of view. Enjoy!

Case One: Sir Fred Gorchiboe

Introduction:

I am Vegeta, if you read this, then you must be really desperate, I don't even work at a hospital!

However, I have had so many casesin court about injuries and unlicensed healing, that I've writen a novel. I was fined for opening my own back alley doctor shop, what kind of country is this if you can't even help? And for underpriced, yet untested treatments? Who runs this place?

Here is my first case... that I remember, the suer was Sir Fred Gorchboe, or as you may know him, the Puking Person. That nickname's from this case...

The Case:

"All rise!" the judge said. We stood up. The judge cleared his throat. "Alright, my legs are tired. Let's sit down now." We all sat down.

I cursed this thing under my breath. This wasn't my fault.

Gorchiboe stood up. "This man opened a back alley doctor shop. My backaches were too serious to have time to get to a real hospital, so I went there."

"OBJECTION!" I shouted out. Then I remembered that did happen. "Nevermind..."

Gorchiboe shook his head. "Anyway, he said he could fix my back. 'And with no side affects!'. However, he punched my back and it was fine."

"Then why are you suing me?" I asked (I decided to be my own lawyer). "I fixed your back, we all live happily ever after. Now let's all go to Tim Hortons!"

The judge glared at me. Somehow, I thought that was the stupidest thing I had said yet.

Gorchiboe continued. "Everything was fine for a few weeks, then-"

"OBJECTION!" some crazy looking guy yelled from the audience. "OBJECTIONY-JECTION!" he yelled while dancing and firing two waterguns at the roof. He laughed and ran out the exit door laughing crazily.

The courtroom was silent for a few minutes. "Anyone have a clue what just happened?" the judge asked.

"A crazy guy yelled objection a lot and ran out the-"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT VEGETA AND YOU KNOW IT!" That shut me up.

Gorchiboe cleared the flem out of his throat. "After a week, my back began feeling worse and worse. I decided to see a real doctor. The doctor said that a few of my bones were cracked!"

"That wasn't my fault!" I yelled.

"Then why were your fistmarks on my cracked bones?" Gorchiboe asked slyly. I opened my mouth but closed it.

The judge looked at me. "What is your version of this?"

I stood up. "When Gorchiboe came, he signed a contract that made him unable to sue me if anything would happen."

"OBJECTION!" Gorchiboe yelled. "That was just for a free ticket to any Lord of the Rings movie!"

"Was not!" I said back.

"Was too!" Gorchiboe shot at me.

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"WAS TOO GORCHIBOE!"

Gorchiboe smirked. "Alright, I agree, it was," he said.

I cursed. I was outsmarted in a court!

"Well, I see that we just waited those few minutes," the judge said. "Vegeta, would you continue?"

I wasn't paying attention, so this just came out of my mouth: "No, you were licking the cactus!" I covered my mouth and the audience laughed their heads off. I groaned. The judge's face was hiding laughter. I got ready to say what I meant to say.

"As I meant to say, Gorchiboe said he was satisfied, so he left. He happily payed me, and left happily. So it wasn't my fault that his back hurt," I said.

"My bones were broken!" Gorchiboe said.

"Meh, my back alley doctor services were good," I concluded.

"Did you say 'Back alley'?" the judge asked. I nodded. "Alright jury, make your decision."

The jury started whispering to each other. Then one stood up. "We, the jury, have decided that Vegeta is guilty of both the back bone breaking and inlicensed doctoring."

"OBJECTION!" I yelled.

"Vegeta, you can't object to the jury!" the judge said while putting his head in his hand.

I groaned and payed the fine, of course not with my own money, which I was sued for again. Man, that was annoying.

Conclusion:

That was a very intresting week. Well, few days. Wait for case two!

Moral(s):

1. Always get a lisence.
2. Never object to the jury.
3. Don't use other people's money.
4. Tacos taste good.

Author note:

I hope you liked case 1. There will be more cases to come, each really stupid. so be prepared.

Vegeta: Will I be a bumbling idiot?

Cir: Yes. I very big one. Review!