A/N: Before I start here I just wanted to say this story is the result of me staying up all night listening to music from hard rock to rap to slow jams to anything else in between those things and thinking why the hell not. So don't be surprised it's kind of funky (not excusing the pun), and don't worry I'm not going to forget about my other story Fine Line that one comes first.

by the way no flames thank you

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"What you see's not what you get
with you there's just no measurement
no way to tell what's real from what isn't there"
- Kelly Clarkson "Gone"

My Dirty Little Secret

"Can I trust you to do the job?"

"… Don't tell me you're having second thoughts."

"Of course not! I just wanted to be sure you're not some bimbo ho wanna be!"

"Oh please, you're scared of me getting caught, of me spilling your dirty little secret. Don't worry, you're not worth the effort."

"Remember who's paying you here!"

"Remember who requested me, I'm not the one that's panicking about this whole thing. I do this for a living. Now if you don't mind … the name please and where he lives."

There was shuffling and I watched in utter boredom as his shaky hands grabbed a near by pen and scribble down his wish on the paper then ripped it from the note pad and snapped it to me. I took it without worry, second thoughts, or remorse then looked up at my client. Well, well, well I was awfully tempted to ask who the lady was to him, but that wasn't my job. So folding the paper and neatly tucking it into my pants pocket for safekeeping I walked to the grand wooden oak doors to exit.

"Wait! Aren't you gonna ask me for the money?" he called out and I could have rolled my eyes, the idiot didn't get it. I wasn't into the money; I was in this for the helluva it … yet, when they did ask questions like this the temptation was too great. Just like the temptation of my first client when an old "friend" suggests I take up the "night life". Ha! I laughed at first, that "friend" had no idea how close to the target he had come to my sick twisted little mind. Then again he was one to usually never miss a target.

Turning back to my client I had a smirk plastered on my face, the kind that got the blood chilling to the core of any to all people who saw it. In fact it was the very thing I made sure all my victims saw before I ended their life; metaphorically speaking that is. Judge me all you want cause all you'd get was a flip of my finger, I could give less of a damn what you told me. Hell I hardly even cared about what my other companions said to me, so who's to say I'd give a flip about yours?

"Well since you asked, 25G now, then 25G after." I inwardly chuckled at the dumb struck look on his face.

"You could get it done that fast?" he asked skeptically, I rolled my eyes and huffed. Tick, tock, tick, tock this guy was wasting my time.

"Do I look like I'd waste my time on you?" I sarcastically replied, he growled and threw me a suitcase that was next to his desk. Hoping that I'd drop or dodge in fright, I shocked him to no end when I just snatched it out of the air by the handle then turned and walked out the door.

Down the lit long stretched perfectly polished hall I couldn't hold the thought of this place being the scene for a perfect horror movie. It looked just as much as I turned into the elevator and pressed the garage floor waiting patiently for it to go down I glared up at the speaker emitting the corniest music ever. I just wanted to tear it off and make sure it never lived to play any revolting piece of shit ever again. With a snort and a sigh of patients the elevator dinged and allowed me to exited into the wide-open empty garage.

Or at least it was empty to the untrained eye, in the shadows hiding behind a pillar next to my "borrowed" red cycle with an overly exaggerated "R" in the front. Standing in the dark was a familiar old "friend" I rolled my eyes I had come to noticed I was much more sarcastic then usual. "X, what are you doing here? I told you to wait for my call."

Out from the shadows stepped the infamous Red-X Robin had become and had risen again only to escape from our grasp. Now here he was, I didn't have to see through his ridiculous mask to know he was smirking like he usually did. Somehow, I don't know what happened between us, but we developed a strange trust, business trust that is. The split share from our work was firm and un-negotiable. We both knew that, and we didn't dare break that business line.

"Waiting for you is like waiting for the day to end. Takes to damn long." He shouts back with a playful sarcasm in his tone, I threw the suitcase at him and he caught it without a second thought as I mounted the R-cycle. Understanding just why Robin loved it so much, so much power and thrust in one fluid motion I smirked, god if he knew I was taking his precious out in the town he'd throw a fit.

"Well now I'm here and since you're here I'll leave the job for you to handle for the night. I'm turnin' in," turning the cycle on I bit my lower lip; damn the thing could give you chills.

Red-X chuckled, "No, no, no now you wait up. Head down to Desert Storm they're expecting my "sister" to be there to kick their asses since I can't show. Couldn't find a cycle to lift in time."

I laughed and gunned the engine while still in park hearing it roar and echo off the walls, geez if I could I'd ask Cyborg to build me one of these things. They were so strong! "Funny I thought you just sucked in races."

"Go to hell, and get out of here we got a job to do." With that he disappeared in the darkness while I kicked the R-cycle into gear and proved for the infinite night Robin wasn't the only one with moves.

Tearing gown the streets I smirked as everything blurring passed me, it was all so amazing. So fast, so thrilling, so exciting to have this kind of control over such a powerful machine with so much speed. Even while flying I could never obtain this kind of free felling. Like you could rule the world, the afterthought of this being Titan property and practically given the license to kill let alone the freedom to break the law while protecting it was a thrill all its own.

For instants when this one time I was racing down the street and a police saw me and pulled me over. All he did was apologize and was on his way, it wasn't until then did I realize just how much power the "Teen" Titans had over Jump City.

Also it would mark the day I turned rogue on my team, like I said temptation was just too strong to uphold. If you're beginning to wonder just what I'm doing or are guessing that I'm some kind of hit-girl, I'm not. Far from it, I could never bring myself to do such a thing, now Red-X he's another story. I don't know what he's into, but I'll tell you this he got connections, connections that helped me fuel my burning desire for something more.

I can't explain it exactly, but ever since I first saw him the feeling grew to great and now here I am practically running the Underground posing as his sister Sis. That was all they could call me cause I never had a name to make up, it was sudden and I was panicking, Red-X came through for me and now I'm just known as Sis.

I took a sharp turn and leaned in so to not lose speed as I continued on to club Desert Storm, turf of the Hot Shots and home base of operation so to speak. I made a mental note to tell Robin where it is to do some old fashion drug busts, hey just cause I lead a duel side don't mean I can't do my "day" job.

Again picking up speed I popped the front wheel into a wheely and dropped then picked more speed, damn did I already tell how much I love the feel of this?

Although, my high was short lived as the club's laser lights caught my eye and I was forced to slow down as I buzzed straight to the back where I knew abandoned warehouses and such were at the edge of the city's limits. This was the most popular place for all races, cars and all to come and settle a score; this was a semi-neutral zone for all gangs to met. The only reason I never told Robin this was because he'd ruin my fun.

Just my luck as I skidded to a dramatic stop where I made my entrance, all heads turned to me. Turning off the cycle for the moment, I kicked the stand and strolled casually to my competitors. All were male, and to my utter dismay complete assholes as they whistled and I felt their roaming eyes on my body. Go a head and look cause you'll be seeing nothing but a dot by the time you gun your engine.

Then one had at least the decency to walk to me and ask, "You look kind-a familiar have seen you before?"

"I'm Red-X's sister, maybe," I lied and it was so convincing I scared myself when I almost believed it. After all him and I have a lot in common, mostly our love for the dark, the thrill of the night, and our distaste for the day.

I looked up to the guy who nodded and walked back to his gang, "Okay then, that's right the X guy told me you'd be coming. Never told me you'd be a young little thing, you sure this ain't some kind of trick?"

I smirked, knowing X he probably had something up his sleeve, "I wouldn't know I just got here. Are we gonna' get this over with or are you gonna' just stand there looking pretty? What's the price?"

He glared, "Didn't your brother tell you? Winner take all, no exceptions, no back downs. You win you walk away with the money and which ever cycle you want. We win you never show your face around here again, you and your brother's presents tends to make us all … uneasy."

I grinned and nodded, "Whatever you say slick, where's the line up?"

"Right back there, we start once the lady's comfortable." He said with deep sarcasm, I ignored it already setting my mind on the win. Oh yeah, and if you're wondering why no one has asked if the cycle belonged to Robin, well, let's just say the bike had fans of its own. I was really surprised when I saw how much people tried to recreate it. Scary really.

Lining myself up with the other three down the road I couldn't help to notice all the sneers and the scoffs and the whispers of doubt swirl around me. Only making my smirk ever the wider, these people were in for a rude awakening as I mounted the bike and got ready to blow them all away.

The one that had spoken to me earlier stepped up and held a pistol in the air, grinning at me he started the introductions, "Alright, this will be the usual ladies and gentlemen. No rules apply only to make it down the road and back again before the others. Let's hope you're lucky to win this time Sis. On your mark … get set …"

He never said go, only pointed the gun at me and fired! The bastard! I tried not to use my powers as I ducked my head to the side just before the shot splattered my brains to the world. The other races took off laughing and snickering with glee as the bastard continued to fire at me. That's it!

I gunned the throttle and raced for him, one shot nicked my shoulder, but I could give less of a damn as I saw him scatter away in fright. That's right bitch run cause when I see you again you're ass is grass! I screamed in my head as I looked up properly to see just how bad I was behind, eh, not that bad, but damn I could have blown them all away. Now I had to fight! Curse that stupid X I'll kill him when I see him.

Ducking down low I bite my lower lip and pushed the cycle ever faster, not wanting to use the full power it had yet. I caught up to the slowest guy and without thinking grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him off. He screamed as he tumbled and his cycle crashed to the side. The other races looked back at the commotion and I saw their eyes widen in fear when they saw me catching up to them like a bat outta' hell. Yeah, that's right fear me.

The next one I was going to pass had pulled out his .45 caliber pistol and without looking pointed at me and shot. All I had to do was avoid and kick the gun away from him, before I moved in closer and kicked him off the bike. Racing to my next victim I notice them both pullout their own weapons getting ready to fire, but the turn was coming up, I decided to end this pathetic charade.

Gunning the throttle I sped straight pass them both in between the small opening, cursing when I heard the side make a scrapping contact. Damn, Robin wasn't going to like that if he saw it. Eh, nothing a little paint couldn't cover. Not wasting any more time I went right through them and just when I was going to make my turn I felt some one tug the back of my shirt. Aw hell no! I turned around and punched the guy square in the face then quickly skidded around the bend. The smart ass that grabbed me lost control and down he went, leaving the last competitor.

BANG! Whoa! To close, he was already firing at me as we sped down the track. Glancing back I saw him take aim and fire two shots I dodged all of them in a heartbeat, but if he wasn't enough I saw up a head a ramp had some how been rolled into place. I tried to see if I could just go to the sides, but it took up the whole road, yet was small enough for only one of us to jump at a time. Oh well, bang, why the hell not? Without a second thought I sped up and up the ramp I went while genius in the back just kept trying to shoot me down. Never concentrating on what he was doing so to say he was his own doing was about it.

The rest of the way was piece of cake, and I crossed the finish line with no dramatic stop. Just slowed and sat up to smirk at the asshole that shot he earlier, speaking of which my shoulder was beginning to hurt. Ouch. Click, oh man, was this guy serious? He put a gun to my head and I only rolled my eyes, "What's your beef now? I won fair and square."

"You couldn't have," he growled down right furious, "You couldn't have won like that you must have cheated some how."

"How could I have cheated when there were no rules to break?" I snapped back already this guy was getting on my nerves, and to make things worse I could see the sun rising. I had to talk to X, get back to the Tower, refuel the R-cycle, patch up my shoulder, and get ready for the day. Talk about issues, but I've been through closer calls, this was nothing … I hope.

"NO! You couldn't have won! It was impossible!" I could tell this guy was panicking, feh sore loser, he pressed the .48 semiautomatic pistol to the side of my head. I cringed at his shaking hands, gees he acts as if he's never shot anyone before. That's it, this was all could take no way was I going to waste my night on this loser.

Knocking the gun from his hand and spinning around to deliver an old fashion back kick to his gut causing him to double over in pain. I leaned and kicked up to his chin to successfully watch him fall back in a heap on the dirt ground. I snorted, pathetic, and then a hand to my shoulder scared me senseless. I immediately grabbed it and tried to flip him over, but he grabbed my wrist and spun me around. I glared and punched him in the chest, "You idiot, don't do that again!"

Red-X smirked, "Don't act so surprised you should know me Sis."

"Shut up," I shrugged myself from his grasp and held out my hand, "Where's my cut, I gotta' go it's already dawn."

He hooked the handle of a suitcase loaded with money on my fingers and I felt his grin, "Been nice working with ya, by the way, don't forget to get yourself cleaned off and work on your form a bit more."

"Whatever," I waved him off and mounted the bike then drove off with no turning back, there was no need to. I was so tired, not just physically, but mentally as well. I was coming down from my high, something I despised every time the night ended and I reverted back to my enclosed self. Reverted back to being a Titan and a super powered superhero all the kids adored, all the people looked up to, where the whole city needs you.

I sighed, when I agreed to be a Titan I never knew the pressure of it all would later collapse on me. The pressure of keeping my secret from the only four people that trusted me and vise versa, heh, I guess you could say I was just a bundle of secrets spinning dangerous webs of lies. Trapping unsuspecting victims like the other four Titans in believing they knew me.

Keh, they didn't know me … they only knew I was destined to destroy the world, which I'm grateful they all helped me over come. However, that wasn't the point. The only thing they really ever knew about me was I was portal, my name was Raven, I liked herbal tea, I was from a place called Azarath, my mother was forced upon, my father was a demon, and I liked my privacy. That was it, they didn't know me, and the best they knew was the surface.

I'll tell you, when you have the pressure of the end of the world laying on your lap it makes you do stupid things. Like actually give in to your deepest thrill, to blow higher than a supernova, and be free to experience life as a different person. I thought the feeling would have gone away after my sixteenth birthday, after my destiny had blown over.

I was so wrong, cause on that day I was free to feel! I was actually feeling emotions without anything being destroyed! Not only that, but my powers had grown stronger, I ended up trying to relearn everything Malchior taught me only this time manipulate it into my own will.

Then to make this a bit more interesting I was fighting with Red-X every time the sun went down. Sometimes we'd train together somewhere in the Neutral Zone, sometimes we'd be daring and train in the Titans' gymnasium. Bottom line was I was getting better with the passing years, 5 years to be exact. Yeah, for 5 years I've kept this image of keep-away-Goth in the morning, but when the sun went down it was a whole different story.

I'll say this, I've been like this not only 5 years ago, but way longer than that. The only reason no one ever caught me was because I wasn't ready to be caught yet, like they say you never get caught unless you want to. Whether conscious or not, it was all in the mind.

Pulling up to the giant T-Tower I found the urge to demand a new less visible headquarters for the sake of our lives. I mean come on, if you're going to be seen at least up grade the defense system, it was pathetic!

Speaking of which the thought of just doing it, upgrading the defenses, wasn't too shabby. Maybe I'll think about it later, right now I gotta' get this done quick other wise Robin will wake up soon. Quickly gassing the R-cycle I remembered the scratch from earlier and debated if I should take care of it now or later. Bah, later I gotta' go fix myself up.

After filling up the tank I phased through the walls to head to the bathroom, I took off my shirt to see my right shoulder, not that bad I had worse. However it was still a bother, so remembering a healing spell from my studies I concentrated and chanted a few choice words after putting a hand over it.

For a moment it glowed blue then the cut was healed no problem, I smirked, ah the wonders of magic. Taking out my contacts that covered my amethyst eyes and then running my hands through my hair I shook my head to loosen the spell off my violet silky locks.

The amazing master of disguises put her contacts in the laser locked case where all her money was then glanced to the shower and shrugged, why not take a shower while I'm at it. So I did just that, however when I finished I realized I made the most stupid mistake of the mother load of all mistakes!

I forgot that I didn't have any other clothes!

Damn! Think Raven! Maybe you could just sneak down the hall, no one will notice you maybe no one's even awake. Yeah, that'll work me floating the halls in nothing but a towel, yeah, no problem. After successfully giving myself mental brain trauma from the mental kicks in the head. I stood at the door after grabbing my other clothes and took a deep breath. When the door-slide open I was just about to rush my way out when to my utter shock stood my leader stretching and yawning directly in my path. SHIT!

That was the only thing that came to mind when he appeared to me opening his masked eyes to look me up and down. First thing that comes to mind, Perv, however I shook that thought from her head. No need to be holding such images in my head, after all I am in a freakin' towel! Who's to blame?

Besides this is Robin we're talking about. The guy's as easy to turn on as a dead light-bulb, "Raven? What are you doing?"

Aw, he sounded so lost made you just want to pet him and say it's okay. Me however being me just blinked and scowled, "Trying to get to my room so I could change. It appears that I have had a minor brain failure cause I forgot to bring extra clothes."

Then the realization dawns on his face, "Oh, okay. Sorry to block ya."

"No props." I nodded and walked passed him as calmly as I could without looking back before just high tailing it to my room.

That was way to damn close for my tastes not only was it awkward, but it was embarrassing as all hell! Damn spiky haired little Big-Bird wanna' be, the guy could give you a major ass headache without trying! And that was saying something especially since Beast Boy's the first that comes to mind when mentioning the word headache.

Anyway, I had gotten to my room and ditched my dirty cloths in the laundry mat however kept my gloves and tossed them on to my bed then headed to my closet and drawer to get my unmentionables then my outer clothes. Which consisted of the usual uniform for the Titan out look, my leotard and cape.

Before I even got the cape clipped on there was a knock on my door, I didn't have to guess who it was his aura was flaring wildly. That only happened when he was angry at something or confused, I blinked, what could he want with me?

I walked to the door and it slid open only for me to meet with a harsh shove of my … oh-no, the suitcase! I looked up at Robin's masked persona seeing that he was already in his uniform and ready to take on the world. In my case, me, "Mind explaining anything?"

He sounded troubled and suspicious, while I struggling with keeping up with his masked gazed, stupid. Why'd he feel he always had to wear a mask the paranoid little runt? I sighed and looked the case over, come on Raven think of something good to come up with. You can't deny it cause it was there when you left, you couldn't agree to it other wise he'll want to know what the hell you've been doing. Not that he's already wondering that exact question, damn not good! How could I be so careless?

Looking up to him again I notice he was waiting patiently for an answer, "What's in the suitcase Raven?"

I glared and tossed the thing into my room as if it was nothing then gave Robin a cold look. Stupid I know, cause nothing I do phases him, but old habits die hard, "What's in the suitcase is none of your concern, thank you for returning it however."

"Raven." he said in a warning tone, okay so maybe not the best approach, but still I tried.

"Make-up," I answered very slowly and silently having been embarrassed for my own lie, but it was my best bet.

"What?" he asked genuinely confused, and had struggled to hear correctly.

My glare hardened and I answered steadily, "It's make-up, stage make-up Starfire bought me a case on my 18th birthday remember? I was … checking it out in the bathroom."

Now he blinked, looking lost again, poor puppy. Shaking his head he looked down the hall and chuckled, "Well, I guess I forgot about that. It did seem familiar, sorry for the pressure."

"It's okay," ya poor naïve little fool, "by the way I suggest you check up on Desert Storm a joint you'd might find interesting, cause I heard a gang called Hot Shot dwells there."

Robin raised a curious brow I shrugged, "Just a suggestion."

"Okay then, hey by the way you remember we're all going to the mall later on today. Starfire's turn to pick and choose where we should hang out for the day," I blinked, the mall? Starfire? Wha –oh! Right, Starfire suggested the mall, hell no I'm way to tired and the mall is not a place I'd like to go to any way.

"Ooo," I cringed, "I don't know I don't think I can, gotta' catch up with my studies."

"What studies?"

I gave him a dry look, god does this guy ever give up? He's been like this since my birthmark incident, can't leave me the hell alone for my own life. Although I can't blame him, he is our leader and not to mention I must have scared the shit out of him and everyone else for that matter. Leaning against the thrust hold of my door for I was getting tired of standing I answered wearily, "My spell books Robin, just like you I have to keep up the pace of training."

"Alright then, will you at least come down for breakfast with the rest of us?"

Now this would be the part I'd decline and slink into the solitude of my world for a nice sleep, but my stupid stomach rumbled and he laughed. So after I went back into my room to drape my cloak on I followed him down the hall towards the kitchen preparing to face the bright happy faces of the Titan occupants. Just great, "So what have you learned so far?"

Oh curious little bird aren't you today Robin, I shrugged and answered nonchalantly, "Nothing huge, just mini spells of concealment, healing, and other things of the sort."

"Healing? Could you heal others if they're hurt, like bad?"

"Now that's an if, healing spells take a lot of energy. I can only do so much, like heal minor cuts, bruises, and such so far, but I'm getting better." There that should satisfy your curiosity for now.

"That's nice that you're getting stronger, maybe you could help Starfire to strengthen herself as well."

"I don't know Robin," I shook my head, yes I had thought about training with Starfire so to help her increase her power level, but when I went to ask in the middle of the night. I felt serge of electrical energy coarse through my body, it was then that I realized Starifre doesn't need training; she just needs to realize her full potential.

The girl is stronger than she looks or lets on, I could tell cause in her sleep her barriers drop. I looked to Robin and shrugged again, "I think she's strong enough, maybe even getting stronger, cause after that whole cycle thing she went through her power did increase, she just needs someone to push it in the right way."

"Well you're perfect for the job," I jerked my head back, did Robin just give me a complement? Wow, this is a weird day, "I know you two use different methods of channeling your energy, but you're the most magical in this group, maybe you could help her tomorrow at training."

"I'll think about it." and I did just that as we entered the kitchen greeted by the rest of our friends. Robin told Starfire of what he asked me and she was rejoicing with joy saying things like, 'Oh glorious' or 'What a marvelous idea' before just settling down to eat her food.

Every time Starfire was happy-go-lucky I could feel it, her power was great and unconsciously challenging my own. Its been doing so ever since she went through her Tamaranian puberty, lucky her. She could go through hers, however I couldn't, another thing I envied her for cause if I were to reach that cycle of life … well … lets just say it's another dirty little secret no one should know.

As I ate my waffles Cyborg had made especially for me cause it was my favorite breakfast meal I listened to the argument with Beast Boy and Cyborg about the same damn thing every morning. "Look, you like vegetable, I like meat. Meat is protein and good for you!"

"But come on I become everything you eat, it be like eating me man!" Beast Boy argued clumsily slamming his fist on the counter where the cutting knife was located. "Whoa!"

He ducked as the knife zipped passed his head and headed for me; Robin panicked and tried to jump the table to grab it, but missed. It all happened so fast that to their utter shock they saw me catch it in my hands before the tip pierced my heart. I twirled it then stabbed into the table, standing up I kept my hand firmly grasping the knife as I glared at Beast Boy and Cyborg, "Didn't your mother ever tell you never to leave sharp objects lying around?"

Yanking the knife from the table I flipped it so the blade was in my hands then in a blink of an eye tossed it faster, harder, and with exact aim in between Beast Boy and Cyborg I pierced the wall. Every one gasped and stared at the knife, then back at me, but the only thing they saw was the flip of cloak as I made my exit. I was way to tired for this bullshit, I ended up making a straight bee line back to my room and once there I collapsed on my bed. Spent from last night I knew I was going to regret doing this, but for Azarath's sake I was wasted.

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a/n: talk to me people, tell me what'cha think, is it to weird to continue? Or do you want me to? Review please