The Birthday Question
Summary: Each year at Sirius' birthday, Remus asks him the same question. What is the reason? Insane dialogue, slash.
Warning: Written late at night. Insane conversation between two crazy people who don't dare to express their thoughts clearly. Sounds mad and complicated? It is!
Oh, and RS slash.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling isn't crazy but this dialogue definitely is, so I'm obviously not J.K. Rowling.
"You know what question I have to ask you every birthday, Padfoot. Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
"You and your stupid old birthday question. What's the point in it? You have been annoying me with that question since… oh, I can't even remember when you started asking me that. Why do you have to keep asking?"
"I haven't had a satisfying answer from the guy all the girls swoon over yet. So what's your answer?"
"The same as every year. I don't have a girlfriend. And you might as well stop asking, my answer to this question will always stay the same, even if you keep asking till I'm a hundred years old."
"And if I ask you on your hundred first birthday? Is that when you plan to have a girlfriend?"
"Very funny, Moony. I'll never have a girlfriend and I thought you should have grasped that fact if you are as clever as you always pretend to be."
"I am that clever. But why do you think you'll never have a girlfriend? Half the girls at Hogwarts would do anything to go out with you."
"Is that my problem or theirs? And you won't get a satisfying answer because you always put your question wrong."
"I put my question wrong?"
"Yep."
"So there would be someone Mr. Padfoot is interested in? Can I put it that way?"
"You can put it that way, yes."
"You don't seem to be willing to tell me a name?"
"Right again, Mr. Moony. You do seem to be a bit cleverer than I thought."
"OK, no names then. You're not together with the mysterious someone?"
"That's up to you."
"Up to me?"
"Yes."
"So I am to guess whether you are or not?"
"No, you are to decide."
"To decide?"
"Exactly."
"How can I do that?"
"Use your clever little head."
"But that decision is up to you and person X, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"…"
"Well?"
"Ummm… Sirius?"
"Go on."
"Well… are you trying to say…"
"I might be."
"You might be?"
"It depends."
"It depends on what?"
"What your answer will be. If you hate what I might be trying to say, I'm not trying to say what you think I might. Then you should forget this entire conversation."
"Errr… if I got that bit right, you only want an answer if I want you to be together with person X or at least wouldn't mind you liking that somebody?"
"Yes."
"What if I said the mysterious someone, if they are who I think they are, never would have thought it possible you could like them in that way but they certainly wouldn't mind?"
"You think it might be like that? They certainly wouldn't mind?"
"Yes, they certainly wouldn't mind, they might not even have dared to hope that you like them."
"Then I would definitely be relieved, not to say extremely glad."
"Maybe person X even wanted to find out whether you liked somebody and ended up asking you that once a year, trying not to let you notice how they felt about you. Do you think that could be possible?"
"Now that you say it like that, I think I see the point of an annoying question that turned up once a year. Only that they should have put it correctly sooner, then they might have had an honest answer earlier."
"If things are like that, I would definitely say you are together with the mysterious someone because the mysterious someone has been madly in love with you for quite a long time. And I think person X deserves a kiss for that and for using his head to get through all these strange questions and hints."
"You are right, Mr. Moony, mysterious person X certainly deserves that kiss and many more and he will get it."
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