DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS OR A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
If I did, world hunger would vanish, AIDS would disappear and poverty would become a thing of the past. Don't ask me how. That's just what would happen.
Chapter One: Enlightenment!
Robin's POV
Oh, god, my head hurts.
Why is it so dark? I can't see a thing.
What happened? Last thing I remember, we were fighting Mad Mod...
I still can't see anything! What's wrong with my eyes?
Oh, I know what's wrong...
My eyes are shut. That would explain it...
Geez, even with my eyes open, everythings so blurry. Maybe Moddy hit me with a British flag and it stuck in my eye, and-
Speaking of which, that looks like Moddy right in front of me...
End Robin's POV
"Wake up!"
The Teen Titans were lying, bound and gagged, on the floor of a room that was completely covered in British flags and pictures of HRH Queen Elizabeth II. A man with bright red hair and spectacles was standing over them.
"Honestly, young people these days! I say, are all adolescents this sluggish or are you just an anomaly?" The man was yelling so loudly that spit was flying from his mouth.
"Hmm Hhmm?" said Robin, which probably translated to "Mad Mod?"
"Yes, it is I!" said Mad Mod, evidently pleased that he'd been recognised. "I've decided that since all my other schemes to educate you Titans have failed, I'd try to go about it in a different way-"
"Uk!" shouted Raven furiously. It was very bad of her. She wasn't supposed to use that kind of language.
"Uuu ee ur ah oin o oos orce is ime?" said Beast Boy hopefully.
"Of course not! I'm going to use force and pain just like the other times.("Uk!" saidRaven again. Starfire looked at her with a scandalized expression.)And for heavens sakes, don't mumble." The Titans looked at each other and shook their heads. "I say, pay attention! The way I've decided to educate you is through the wonderful world..."- he flung out his arms for dramatic effect-"of Dramatics!"
As the sound of crikets chirping filled the air, the Titans stared blankly at Moddy.
"Infernal insects! Go away!" The sound of crikets chirping abruptly ceased to fill the air. "Thank you. And thank YOU, Titans, for completely proving my point. You didn't even act excited when I said I'd be you through the wonderful world..."- he flung out his arms for dramatic effect again-"of Dramatics!"
"Oo, " Beast Boy asked Cy, "i uz e eep on awin at? Ut az i uh ut uh amhatk egpht?" Which is translated here as "Dude, why does he keep on saying that? And what's with the arms and the dramatic effect?" Cyborg shrugged.
"Eez, ens," said Starfire, "at oz e een i amhatkz?"
"By dramatics, I mean a play!" said Moddy, rather impatiently. "And will you kindly stop muttering! You are going to perform Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', and you are going to do it properly as well."
"Aw, an!" complained Cyborg. "Ow om e ewer ix on idanz eest or uh IVE or adyody el or a ange?" Translated as: "Aw, man! How come he never picks on Titans East or the HIVE or anybody elsefor a change?"
"Actually, that rather brings up another point of mine," remarked Moddy. "The problem with young people is that they never seem to want to work together on things. So, not only willYOU be performing Shakespeare, these lucky young lads and ladies will be too." One of the larger British flags lifted to reveal Terra, Kitten, Fang, Mammoth, Bumblebee, Jinx, and Mas y Menos.
"I uh ell oo e av o ork ith em?" said Robin furiously. "I een, apar om Ee an as i enos, ey're all ad uys." Which meant something like: "Why the hell do we have to work with them? I mean, apart from Bee and Mas y Menos, they're all bad guys!"
"Well, maybe we don't want to work with you either," said Jinx huffily.
"I'm not complaining," said Kitten happily. "Hi, Robbie-Poo!"
Robin looked sick. Kitten appeared to not notice, and she winked flirtatiously at him. Fang went over into a corner to sulk.
"What're dramatics again?" said Mammoth, looking very confused. It wouldn't be the last time he looked confused, either.
"Oah, is is ettin oo eard. ight, I?" said Beatst Boy, probably meaning "Whoa, this is getting too weird. Right, Cy?" Cyborg didn't pay any attention to him. He was staring at Bumblebee. A thin line of drool was coming out of his mouth. "Cy?"
"Erra," growled Raven behind her gag. "Oo AITOR!" ("Terra! You TRAITOR!") Terra merely looked confused.
"Hey, Mad Mod, would you mind untying them?" she said. "I can't understand what they're saying." Mad Mod pulled out a cricket bat and tapped out the rhythm of 'God Save The Queen'. Instantly, the ropes and gags vanished.
"Why don't you just read the translations, like the rest of us?" said Fang.
"Whoa..." said Kitten, looking dazed. "There's that 'reading' thing again. I've heard a lot about it. What's reading? What is it? WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT IT IS?" Apparently worn out by this verbal discharge, she collasped in a heap. There was a collective silence for about ten seconds while everyone either
a) looked at Kitten in disgust (cough, cough, Raven, cough) or
b)Rolled their eyes.
"Any way," said Moddy, "As I was saying, we'll all be performing a play together. We'll get right to assigning roles as soon as I finish me tea and biscuits. Cheerio!" And with that, he strode out of the room.
For about two seconds, there was silence.
Then everyone started shouting at once.
"Man, this sucks eggs!" said Cyborg.
"Please, friends, who is the 'Shakespeare' of whom Mad Mod speaks?"
"Me no gusto nada!"
"Si, hombre!"
"All for escaping- say aye!"
"What're dramatics?"
"Shut up, Mammoth!"
"Me no gusto na-"
"Will you shut up?" shouted Fang.
"Tu habe uno pene muy largo," said Mas y Menos in unison. They both blew a raspberry at him.
"Does anyone know what Mas y Menos just said?"
"How the hell did you come back to life?"
"Raven, just go away, alright?"
"I will NOT 'just go away alright', you stupid bi-"
"Tut, tut, Raven no language..."
"BEAST BOY! PUT THAT DOWN!"
"REEOOOOAAARGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
BE QUIET ALL READY!
There was a silence.
"Who said that?"
Me.
"Who's 'me'?"
Me. I'm the Narrator, and I'm here to ask you if you'd care to shut up. If you haven't noticed, I'm TRYING to tell a story, here. Note the emphasis on 'trying'.
"Oh."
Anyway, if you're going to get out of this mess, you're all going to have to work together. Comprende?
"Yo Comprendo!"
"HUH?"
Sigh. Understand?
"Oh!"
"Yeah, we understand."
And so, the Titans and the villains formulated a brilliant plan using teamwork. They pulled down one of the british flags and tied the end of it to one of Robin's bird-a-rangs. He threw it, and it landed right on the target- the windowsill. One by one, the titans and the villains lined up, all ready to climb up the flag and out the window, but-
"Ah, I see you've been practising that scene from 'The Great Escape'." Mad Mod was standing, ominously silhouetted in the doorway. "Good show, but I think that's enough practice for now."
"KEEP CLIMBING!" shouted Cyborg.
"Oh, I rather wouldn't, If I were you, chappie," said Moddy. "for if you do, you will suffer the consequences."
"Oh yeah?" laughed Bee. "Like what?"
"Making us sing God Save The Queen incessantly?" chortled Fang.
"Worse," said Mad Mod, and his eyes narrowed to malevolent slits behind his glasses. "You will be forced to watch educational television-"
All the teens gasped.
"-for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT!" finished Moddy triumphantly.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
"That's what I thought you'd say," said Moddy. "Now be good chaps and untie that flag, will you?"