Sayonara

You know the feeling, when you hear something, that you can't believe? The feeling, that goes to the pit of you're stomach. And then it just goes in you're head like a cold winter wind. That's the feeling. You don't believe it. It's the first thought that you get.

Liar.

You laugh in you're mind, but you're mouth goes dry as the desert. You then gulp slowly and say whit you're now harras voice:

"What?"

The sentence is been now said the second time. And still, I won't take it in. It's not true. It can't be.

Liar.

"Neji, daijôbu?"

I look Shikamaru, who's standing at the door, so pale that it scares me. He can't believe it neither. But, he's not in the stage I am. He knows. Knows, that as unbeliavable it is, and painful, it's the fucking truth, that I can't accept.

Liar.

"You… you're just jokeing, right? Right..?" I ask quietly and Shikamaru looks away. He bites his lip and my fear comes even larger. "SHIKAMARU, TELL ME IT WAS A JOKE! A HORRIBLE JOKE!" I order him, when I feel the trembling. I'm trembling. I never tremble.

Shikamaru looks at me, whit a serious, but sad and painful look on his face. He would like to tell me that. I can see it. He would like to just laugh and tell me "Yeah, it was. Kinda sad joke, huh? I'm not good whit this stuff…" and just do those grumbles he always does.

But he can't.

He fucking can't.

"It wasn't", Shikamaru says and looks me in the eyes.

"Sasuke is dead."

Whit that, the truth hits me. Hard. It makes me gasp whit pain and I can't get it in. My trembling comes back and I tremble. Tremble so hard.

"He's… he's…"

My words won't come out. I can't say it. No, he can't be! How could this guy… this arrogant, annoying guy, this little brat that thinks he's better than me…

"HOW COULD HE BE DEAD!" I yell aloud and start to gasp. My chest… it hurts… I lean on the wall and huff. Hurts. Hurts so fucking much!

"Neji, are you okay, Neji!"

My eyes are my power. Now, they don't see clearly. The world is spinning and turning all red. My heart pounds to my chest, like it's about to burst out and kill me. I close my eyes and I rewind the tape in my head. It's going too fast. I can't see clearly…

A battle field. Full of shinobi. I hear screams. I see blood. I smell blood.

Someone is yelling at me.

…

…..

"Neji, you idiot, MOVE!"

I can't. I'm too shocked. I'm bleeding. The crimson red liquid is all over the place, and I can't help it. I'm too shocked to move.

"God damn it, Hyuuga, MOVE!"

I'm just there. Bleeding to dead, and not caring. The shinobi who got his stricke on me is gone. He's after the rest of Konoha shinobis, not caring for me. He did hit me hard. I can see my life going around my eyes. Is this it? Am I going to die?

"SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I get a slap on the face and look up. I see Sasuke, whit his eyes red and his face angry as hell.

"Please, don't make me laugh. Are you going to just sat there and die!"

For a moment, I think of responding as sarcastilly as I always do. It's just too fun to irritate the brat out of his mind. But, something in his eyes is different. He looks at me, whit anger. Anger, of what I am doing. Just sitting on the ground, not trying to help my villagers at all.

"Stand up, you bastard."

I just can't get it why, but I do as he says. Sasuke is looking up to me now, becose I'm couple of inches taller. He looks in my white eyes and then the wound I got.

"That's so fucking small, are you gonna cry, huh! Get in there, and fight, damn it!"

Sasuke pushes me to the battle, getting some of my blood in his hand. I look at him for a moment. He looks the blood at his hand and wipes it in to his face.

"The hell you're dying here! You're too damn smart to that!"

And whit that, ge storms in the fight and I can't see him anymore. I smile and sigh.

My God, he sure is annoying.

Whit that, I activate my byakugan again and face the enemy. Wound? What wound? It's only a scratch. Whit that, I go and don't look behind me.

I wish I had.

I would have seen him atleast one more time.

"Are you okay, Neji?"

The hell I'm okay.

"…"

"C-mon, answer me! Gosh, are you always so annoying?"

Who the hell is annoying, huh? Always the same 'are you okay, are you okay'- stuff!

"Hey… seriously, are you alright?"

THE FUCK I AM!

"Yes."

Naruto tilts his head and looks at me whit those blue eyes of childish stupidity.

"Hontou?" english seriously or really.

I look at him. Why is he even asking ME? I should be asking that from HIM! Uchiha was his irritating team-fucking-mate anyway!

"Hai." that's a "yes".

Naruto smiles and scratches his nose. "Yosh! good Hell, sorry about asking it, but you looked so sad…"

I look at him for a moment. That's right. I look quite sad. But… he doesn't. How does he do that? I look at the river and the fish jumping in it. They look happy. I turn to watch Naruto, who's now babbling to Shikamaru, who doesn't feel like answering the troublesome questions. I smile a little, when Naruto starts to yell into Shikamarus ear, thinking that he didn't hear his babbling well enough.

Poor Shikamaru. I hope his ears won't ring too long.

I look at the sky and watch the clouds, as they go on and on, in the endless road… I look more sharper at the clouds, and I swear I could have seen one of them as a fan.

Damn that Uchiha…

Damn him to hell! Why is he haunting me anyways!

"SHIKAMARU!"
"I HEAR, OKAY, I HEAR!"

I throw a stone to the water and sigh.

Get away from my mind you bastard!

Like where I could go then? To Sakuras head? Sorry, but I don't like pink.

My heart stops beating.

Whatthe -?

And Narutos head? Oh pulees, I'm not an energetic ghost.

"Neji?"
I turn to see Shikamaru and Naruto, who are looking at me, quite worried actually.

"What?"
"Well, you were just looking at the emptiness dattebayo, and I thinked dattebayo that you dattebayo -!"

"I-i'm not feeling well… I'll just go now, bye", I mumble and leave. Shikamaru and Naruto look at each other, but just shrug.

My steps have come heavier. What's wrong whit me? I chuckle and wave my arms in front of my eyes.

"Oh c-mon, there's no ghosts! And why would some Uchiha brat chose YOUR head?"

Becose Kakashi's mind I don't want to see, and they would'nt let me to go haunt Itachi!

With this, I stop again and stare to the emptiness.

Oh fuck -! He's still there!

Watch you're language. And I like it here. Reminds me of my mind.

My legs start to shake. Shit… Holy shit… There's a ghost in my head! It can't be. JUST CAN'T!

My legs start to move on their one, running. The air is wheezing in my ears and my foots stomp to the ground, over and over again. I must check something. That I'm not just having a nightmare!

I stare at the stone at the practice field.

Still there.

The kanji, carved on the stone.

"Uchiha… Sasuke", I read aloud and sat on the ground. He's dead. So… it's really a ghost?

"Actually, no."

I look up and gasp in horror. "Uchiha!"

Sasuke smirks and leans on the big rock. "Yeah, quite an ectoplasmatic version or some sort…" he says and crosses his arms to his chest.

I can't say anything. He's there for sure. This is no dream.

"Why..?" I ask, when I stand up and stare him. "Why me?"

My question is in the air, and Sasuke seems to be thinking of an answer.

"I quess I just had to", he tells and laughs to my face. "It's surely you that's keeping me here", Sasuke says and pokes me on the chest. "Becose, you can't let me go, can you?"

I stare at him blankly.

There's a silence between us. It takes long for me to answer. And I answer quite stupidly too.

"You're solid", I say quietly.

Sasuke laughs and pokes me to the head. "Becose you're imagining me like that, baka!" he says mockingly and turns to watch the stone. "You know, it's kinda irritatting, that I'm not dead, nor alive", Sasuke whispers and looks at me. "But, you don't know what's after dead, do you?"

I shrug and shake my head. "How should I, shrimp?"

"Don't call me that, bastard", Sasuke hisses and sighs. "Well, I quess I'm not allowed to tell you either", he mutters and turns to me again.

"But to the subject; why are you keeping me here?"

I laugh. "Hell, why should I know! You just pop in my head, and now it's my fault, dammit!"

"Well, hell yes, It's not me that's the blame!"

"Oh, of course. The Almighyt Uchiha is never the blame! Jeesh…"

"Would you repeat that? Becose I'm solid, I can seriously hit you!"

"Nah, don't feel like it", I snort and look at the ghost-Uchiha. Or is he a ghost? Well, something extra terrestial maybe. I always thinked that, didn't I?
"I think I know the reason", Sasuke utters and looks at me, grinning now. "I think you like me."

My eyes sharpen and I glare at him whit my 'you're-gonna-get-killed-by-ripping-off-your-every-single-inside-stuff' -glare.

"I'm right, huh?"

"Urusai, kusoyarou." shut upm, you fucking jerk

"Oh, I hit a sore spot!" Sasuke laughs and grins wildly. "Oh you like me more, don't you? More than just 'like' huh?" he wonders and chuckles.

"Shut the fuck up you…" I say and give him my death -glare again.

"I - am - not - gay."

"Of course you're not", Sasuke smiles and raises his eyebrow. "Did I mention something like that?"

"Oh shut up!" I tell him and growl whit irritattion. "If you were not dead, you would get killed just now", I mutter.

Sasuke sighs and says laughing: "That's why I love this."

I'm quiet. I wont admit this to a ghost. I seriously wont, it's just too sad.

"C-mon, I can see something on your face, Hyuuga. Just say it to me", Sasuke groans. "Like what harm? I'm already dead!"

I swallow something out from my throat. I look at Sasuke and sigh. "Okay… Maybe I…" I start and then look at him sadly. "Maybe… I somehow cared…" I whisper and breath some air. "More than that… Maybe I somehow… wished that you cared."

Sasuke looks at me. I can't read that dace.

"You're an irritating bastard… but same time I… I hoped that you would be my irritating bastard", I say and smile to Sasuke. "Well, I'm a serious coward. Didn't just have the guts to admit it."

Sasuke smiles and shakes his head. "No, you aren't too late."

I look at him, quite suprised.

"I'll admit… maybe I thinked you were not so annoying as you are", Sasuke says and looks at me. "Well, better you than bizzillion fangirls", he says and blushes a bit. "It nice to hear, that you were on the same line on me, Neji."

Sasuke takes a step, standing now in front of me. He takes my hand to his and looks in my eyes.

"Sayonara", he whispers and gives me a kiss on the cheek. He then starts to fade a way, and finally is all gone.

I stare at my hand, then touch my cheek. I quietly turn and start to walk off, smiling to myself.

"Hopefully… I sometime can answer you're question of death, Sasuke", I say and look at the sky. To the blue sky and white clouds.

"I'm not afraid to find that answer."