Title: Not the Same
Author: MissAnnThropic
Spoilers: Existence
Summary: At a bureau party, Tom Colton comes face to face with Agents Mulder and Scully, and finds that a lot has changed for the two agents.
Disclaimer: I own nasing! Really, I don't. All you see here (that you recognize, anyway) is the creation of someone else. I take no credit.

Special Agent Tom Colton swirled the liquid idly that rested stagnant in the bottom of his plastic cup. He needed a refill, but he found it both personally and professionally inappropriate to inebriate himself, even if this was a social situation. He took his duty very seriously, and he didn't stop being an FBI agent just because he got invited to a party. There was no telling when his services might be called upon, and if he allowed himself even another small drink he would fast be endangering his performance. Instead, Tom Colton stared idly at the dregs of his first and only beer, slightly upset that he had to be so stringent to his work.

The only consolation was that everyone in his company was just as conservative in their alcohol consumption, if not more so. The party was full of FBI agents, every one of them thinking the same he was. Most allowed themselves no more than two drinks at most, a good number of them declining even a first. It seemed no matter what Tom's personal views on alcohol might be, this little party was destined to be a somber one despite whatever he might do.

The only ones allowing themselves a companionable amount of liquor were the wives or husbands of their FBI agent spouses that had been brought. This party was open to the partners of the FBI agents, so there were plenty of fresh, unfamiliar faces around them to keep things from slipping into feeling like a review meeting. For truly, if this were strictly a party for the FBI agents, that is what it would quickly become.

Tom sighed, resigning to the fact that he was not going to get any kind of buzz tonight and set his 3/4 empty cup down on a nearby coffee table.

He had all initial intentions of slipping out of the party. He'd been here only an hour, but even in that short a time he'd seen a lot more than he wanted to. A lot of things he saw only depressed him. He saw so many faces he'd known in his youth, saw how their bodies and faces had born the passage of time, many not so kindly, and it made him think of his own self, how he must look to these people who remembered him of the lean and vigorous youth he'd been in his academy days. He was heavier than he was then, his hairline considerably farther back, faint lines clustering around the corner of his eyes and mouth, and hands that weren't so quick as they once were.

He, like all of those familiar faces around him, was getting old. Not one of them could be called young anymore. They were all middle-aged... some of the elders now almost considered old, and it made Tom's heart sick. These were people he considered his peers, and he didn't want to think that he was old.

He straightened with intent to leave instead to find Lela Richards coming toward him. On reflex, he smiled. He and Lela graduated from Quantico together in the same class. In fact, he'd found quite a few of his old classmates here, but that was hardly surprising. The host of this get-together had also been in his graduating class, and the bulk of agents Carolyn felt she knew enough to invite consisted largely of their graduating class. Tom would never have guessed in basic training how tenuous all the field assignment friendships would be after they got out of the academy. It seemed that his graduating class were the only people he really enjoyed seeing or even felt he knew more than as a passing acquaintance.

Lela seemed to return the sentiment, smiling as she neared Tom, saying cheerfully when she reached him, "Tom Colton... what has it been, three years?"

"About that... how are you, Lela?"

Lela was older too, but one of the few who was aging well. She still had a kind of young aura to her, and it made Tom feel a little better, because Lela he definitely thought of as his peer.

Lela shrugged, "Oh... same old same old... you know the drill."

The only bad thing about these FBI parties was that there was little real catching up to do, because everyone else was in the same line of business and might even already have an idea from hearsay as to what everyone else had been up to. And no one would find it particularly special, because everyone was in similar lines of duty. If possible, these parties could be even duller than high school class reunions.

Tom nodded, "Yeah... hey, who else from the old class is here?"

Lela looked around, "Washburn, Williams, Parker... oh, I saw Scully here."

Tom cocked his head, genuinely not sure how to react other than to repeat the name back to Lela, "Dana Scully?"

A third voice joined theirs, "AND her delectable partner, Fox Mulder."

Tom cringed, rolling his eyes down to find Miranda Cole, an associate that was not from their class but worked in the pathology department.

Lela saw Tom's scowl and teased to Miranda (obviously these two women either knew each other or two FBI women felt enough camaraderie to talk to one another like friends), "You got to watch that around him, Miri... Tom here can't stand Fox Mulder."

Miranda blinked, obviously a little surprised as she looked up at Tom Colton, "I've heard of people disliking him by reputation... do you actually KNOW him?"

Colton grimaced, disliking the turn of conversation, for everything Mulder had done eight years ago was still a sore wound. Tom didn't let those footprints on his toes fade quickly at all, "Yeah... unfortunately I had to work a case with him about... um... seven or eight years ago. Crazy son of a bitch."

Miranda stepped into their circle completely, abandoning her old cluster and engaging the three of them in genuine conversation, "Don't you think you're being a little hard on the man, Tom?"

Tom shook his head, immediately remembering the conversation he'd had with Mulder upon first meeting him... something about Retilucans or some crazy shit like that, "Hell no... that man's the whole damn basket short of a picnic. He's a nut case if you ask me, and the bastard's managed to rope Dana into his delusions."

Miranda and Lela exchanged looks and secret smiles, Lela commenting lightly, "Oh... I can't imagine she fought Fox Mulder too hard."

Tom groaned. It was WELL known that nearly all the women in the office who had actually seen Fox Mulder, and a lot of them who hadn't, found him very physically attractive, though the entire notion was a mystery to Tom, "What is it with ALL the women staff having some thing for Fox Mulder? He's a fruitcake, and you're forgetting Dana here... he's going to get her killed some day."

Lela shrugged, "Oh... I don't know, Tom. I'll grant you he's eccentric, but that doesn't mean he's not gorgeous."

Before Tom could grumble, Miranda joined in, "He is certainly handsome, half the time I almost envy Dana Scully working so closely with him."

Tom growled, "He's reckless and has no regard for her safety... he's a hazard to her as long as he's around her."

Miranda wrapped both her hands around her almost completely full cup, "That's not what I've heard over the years."

Tom tried to wave off the argument, "Hey... look, I've WORKED with the man... as much as anyone CAN work with him, anyway. He's dangerous and he's going to get someone hurt."

Lela touched Tom's arm. Everyone in the class knew of Tom's predilection for overreacting sometimes... everyone had just suspected that, with time, his quick temper would have cooled. Obviously, for that to happen, Tom would have to get just a little bit older. "Calm down, Tom. Dana's still here... in fact, she's right over there." Lela pointed with her other hand, one finger straying from her grasped cup to indicate direction.

Tom followed the indication, finding that, indeed, there was Special Agent Dana Scully.

Her hair was shorter, she was carrying more weight on her, and she looked older. Why shouldn't she? It had been nearly a decade since he last saw her, and Dana's work was not the type to be kind to her. Many in the office, including Tom, had heard of the escapades she'd been dragged into courtesy of one Fox Mulder.

She looked so intense and mature... so different from when he last saw her. She had been youthful then, almost childishly young. He remembered having looked after her, though from a distance, because something about her youth made him think of her as a little sister. That brotherly devotion had been snapped short when he'd tried to work with her after being put on the X Files with Fox Mulder. Mulder's crazy theories had done something to her... he wasn't sure... but she wasn't the same Dana that had left Quantico a mere two years ago. She was still young, innocent, and intelligent... but there was something to her. A rebellion, and yes... a rejection. She pushed him away... in favor of the wild card Mulder whom everyone else at the bureau had the good sense to stay clear of.

Dana had been tainted, and Tom had left her without a look back. It was her life, and he had nothing to say in the matter, dropping it without a hesitant step.

But he had second thoughts about it sometimes. He had to wonder, over the years, how Dana was doing with old Spooky... no other partner had lasted so long with him... one was made to be curious.

But Tom hadn't called to catch up with her. He correctly assumed she wouldn't be interested in chatting with old Tom anyway. She had made her decision, and Tom was ready to respect it. Besides, he had his own career to think of, and Dana was but a small thought in the back of his mind for almost nine years. She was one name of many in a list of old friends he had in the back of his mind. He had accepted long before deciding to be an FBI agent that there would be people that passed out of his life... ones he'd never hear from again, and he'd quickly recognized that Dana Scully was one of them. But now, looking at her, he had to consider once more.

The woman before him, across the room and unaware of him as of yet, was so different from the almost girl he'd left with Mulder on the Eugene Tooms case eight years ago.

Dana Scully then had been bright and quick... a vitality and eagerness to her demeanor and eyes... a sense of bottled energy itching to be used. She had been so soft, tender... a gentle creature. Her eyes, while intelligent, were so much younger than her years.

The woman before him now was not the one he'd known in his younger years. The Dana Scully he saw now wore dark, somber clothes, moved with a patient elegance that spoke of collected repose. Her eyes (what he could see of them from where he stood), seemed almost darker in manner. She had a now serious air to her... all ideology of a child vanquished in her. She was a rigid, hard, strict creature. She was a wise matriarch, a force to be reckoned with. And it was disheartening, for she was too young to look so old. She emitted a sense of age when Tom knew she was not even forty yet. Or maybe she was... time seemed to fly from him these days.

Tom muttered his thought aloud, "She doesn't even look like the same person."

Lela nodded while Miranda commented, "We all change with age... and experience."

Tom shook his head, angry again, "I'm sure Mulder's given her plenty of the latter."

Miranda ignored the comment and talked to Lela, "Lela... have you seen Agent Mulder yet?"

Lela shook her head, "No... I didn't even know for sure he was here, though I suspected he was since Dana came. Why?"

Miranda smiled like a scheming feline, "Oh... nothing. He's just grown up."

Lela eyed her friend, a kind smile spreading across her face as she answered (a look that for the first time made Lela look... older), "He was hardly a boy back then, Miri."

Miranda smiled more casually in response, "Oh, I know... but he always had that boyish quality to him. When I saw him earlier today, well... let's just say he's not a boy anymore. I did kind of regret not seeing that little kid in him, but it's a mighty fine man that has replaced him."

Lela shook her head, "It's kind of hard to picture him any different from when I saw him so many years ago. What do you think he's doing these days?"

Tom drifted off in thought, remembering the Mulder HE'D met eight years ago. Bull-headed, half-cocked, arrogant guy looking to press everybody's buttons and doing a damn good job of it. He'd been a live wire, temperamental and territorial (though the last Tom could have said about himself back then). Mulder had this LOOK in his eye. Tom couldn't quite describe it. Some people might call it the 'look of eagles', but Tom thought that was crap. What he saw in Mulder's eyes all those years ago had been some kind of borderline insanity. Just looking in that agent's eyes and one could tell he was off his rocker and constantly two seconds away from going off.

Agent Fox Mulder's demeanor had been the parallel of his expressions. So sure of himself, his strides firmly planted like he thought he owned the whole fucking world, an aloof laziness to his posture that was condescending just to look at him. He was a steer trotting around like a bull among the big boys, and the shitty thing to Tom was that everyone was buffaloed by Mulder's act. They acted as though he were big, important... something so special.

But it was mostly the eyes. There was something incredibly rash and bold about his gaze, particularly when he got in a spat with Tom Colton. Tom had remembered seeing that look of fearlessness in Mulder's eyes and thinking 'jesus fucking christ, this maniac would walk into a bullet.' And that's what his eyes betrayed him as to Colton... a maniac. He was crazy, and he was looking for trouble, Tom could tell.

Fox Mulder was a trouble-seeker, maybe even an adrenaline junky who sought danger for the high. He was looking for the next death-defying, life-threatening stunt to jump into... and he was dragging Dana into all of them with him.

For that selfishness, Tom Colton hated Fox Mulder.

Tom broke into the women's slightly hushed conversation across his bow to say irately, "If you two are so curious what Fox Mulder is up to, why don't you go find him?"

"I'm right here," a deep, calm voice intoned from mere feet in front of Tom.

Tom startled, eyes darting up to the source of the voice, just as the women on his flanks did.

A man standing right before them turned, and Tom couldn't believe it. Holy god damn, it WAS Fox Mulder! He'd walked by and stopped right in front of them... and none of them even recognized him. Of course, his face had been turned away... but no one even suspected anything from his back side.

Tom blinked, taking in the man before him.

He would never have believed it if he had not seen it himself, but those estrogen-driven lusting women who had been chattering right in front of him five minutes ago about Mulder had been right. The Fox Mulder Tom had known, in comparison to the man standing before him, HAD been a boy. Fox Mulder had been little more than a child then... it had taken him this long to age into a man. Tom could swear that Mulder had even grown another inch since he last saw him in 1993. Tom couldn't believe the difference in maturity between the Fox Mulder Tom had worked with years ago and the Mulder standing in front of him now. God damn, in comparison now, eight years ago Mulder had been practically a baby.

There was nothing of an infant in the Fox Mulder that stood before them now. Even if it had taken him this long to grow up, he had done so undoubtedly.

Miranda was the first to find her voice, "We're sorry, Agent Mulder, we didn't mean to be rude."

Mulder looked down calmly at Miranda, obviously running through a mental check to find out if he knew her, then shrugged. Mulder did not hold a drink, rather he had his hands in his slacks' pockets. He wore a white dress shirt and a gray and maroon tie. His jacket was MIA, probably out in whatever car he came in, but what Tom noticed was the tie. It was tame, conservative, subtle... nothing like the screaming atrocities Tom recalled the nut case agent having worn back during the Tooms case.

Mulder was not the lean, quick looking creature he used to be. He was heavier, his thin striated muscles having become thicker and blockier. He still looked like he was in excellent shape (better, Tom begrudged, than himself), but in a different way. Quick and taut muscles for speed in his youth had turned into muscles for sheer power and strength. He was a much more substantial man than he'd been eight years ago.

Mulder's hair had grown noticeably darker as well. Tom Colton had recalled a young man with hair that looked borderline sandy blonde... the Mulder in front of him now had hair so dark it looked nearly black in the subdued lighting of Carolyn's house.

Lela interrupted Colton's thoughts, "Agent Mulder, what have you been up to?"

Mulder, whom Tom just discovered had been studying him in return, turned down to Lela. He allowed himself a small, cordial smile as he answered, "Not a lot, to tell you the truth."

Tom finally asked, "You're not still chasing ghosts and goblins?"

Mulder froze, bringing his eyes back up to Colton. Colton could not believe the look behind those hazel eyes. The eyes had changed too. In fact, it was the eyes that had changed the most. When Mulder was young, there was a distinct light brown hue to his eye color... even that had changed in the older Mulder to become a gray tone. Of course, that someone with hazel eyes would endure eye color change was maybe the only difference Tom would have expected.

It was the look BEHIND his eyes that Tom couldn't believe. The crazy look... it was gone. The spark in Mulder's eyes that had always made Tom certain he was insane was missing. His expression was still alive, but it wasn't on fire like it had been in Mulder's youth. There was a calm, a patience in his gaze that Tom would not have suspected in a million years if he lived to see it.

And there was no fight in Mulder's look as he answered, "It's been a while, hasn't it, Colton?"

Tom Colton's voice grew less hostile, merely because his opponent didn't seem to want the fight, and answered, "Yes it has, Agent Mulder."

Mulder nodded, then answered, "No more ghosts and goblins."

Tom blinked, staring at Mulder right in the eye. This man before him was a completely different person than the cocky son of a bitch he'd known eight years ago. Hell, this guy was even bearable.

Miranda asked, "So, are you still on the X Files, Agent Mulder? I've heard that your skills are wanted in VCS too."

Mulder shook his head, smiling more to himself as he answered, "No... I'm not on either."

Lela's eyebrows rose, "You're not on the X Files anymore?"

Mulder shook his head, "Nah... long story, but it's just as well."

Tom was stunned by what he was hearing... and the nonchalant attitude Mulder had about it. The X Files used to be this guy's life... what could possibly have changed that for him?

"So, Mulder," Tom asked awkwardly, "what have you been up to these days?"

Mulder studied Tom a moment, maybe taken off guard by the fact Tom was willing to have a civil conversation with him, then answered slowly, "Lately I just stay home with my son."

Tom thought his jaw was going to hit the floor. As it was, he was sure his mouth popped open at the comment. He was not in the least prepared for that surprise. Tom had never imagined Fox Mulder ever having children, because he couldn't imagine a woman who would put up with his craziness. That and Mulder, before, had always struck Tom as the type to make an aweful father being as rash and foolhardy as he was. Obviously, all that had happened in his life over the last eight years had tamed him.

Lela perked up, "Agent Mulder, you have a son?"

Tom managed to gather his wits enough to pop his jaw closed again. Leave it to the women to talk children and luckily give him time to adjust.

Mulder's face broke in a genuine, actually pensive and secretly delighted smile, "Yeah... William."

Miranda was all smiles, "That's wonderful, Agent Mulder. How old is he?"

"Three months."

"Awww..." Lela made the tight sound of womanly adoration, "you have a baby? Do you have a picture of him?"

Mulder flashed her a bright smile a moment, his expression saying as clear as anything 'of course I do, I'm a new father, aren't I?' and he reached into his back pocket and withdrew his wallet.

He opened the wallet and reached in, withdrawing a small photo and handing it to Lela.

Tom leaned over to look and Miranda leaned over him to see the picture too.

It was a picture of a very small baby on his back, a stuffed green alien toy in his hand's limp grip as it rested against his belly. Tom smiled at that, despite his earlier attitude toward Fox Mulder and the whole little green men business. The baby boy in the picture was little more than two months old, wearing a loose blue baby suit that covered him down to his toes. His legs were bent in the air, as though he'd been kicking at the time. He was still too young for them to see much of his parents in his face. He still just looked like a baby, though an impression of his face seemed to be reminiscent of Fox Mulder. His wispy hair looked sandy blonde, no doubt to become dark as his father's had. The baby had clear blue eyes that stared hazily at the camera, the photographer obviously too far to be in focus at his age.

Lela passed the photo over to Miranda, looking back at Mulder, "He's beautiful, Agent Mulder."

Mulder smiled, "Thank you."

Tom added, "Yeah... in all sincerity, Mulder... congratulations."

Mulder considered Tom a moment, and found he was quite serious. Mulder nodded, "Thank you, Tom."

Miranda handed the photo back to Mulder, who took it with his left hand. As he put the photo back in his wallet, Tom for the first time noticed Mulder's hands. They had been hidden in his pocket before, but he saw them now. His left ring finger bore a gold band.

Tom nodded his chin toward it, "You're married too, Mulder?"

Mulder stopped, looking up at Tom then down at his hand. He stared at his wedding band a moment, then nodded, "Yep."

Tom shook his head, "Damn, Mulder... you've changed a lot since I last met you."

Mulder stuffed his wallet back into his back pocket and commented, "Good thing, I guess... you couldn't have hated me any more back then."

Tom stiffened, then said, "Mulder... I was just... I was worried about Dana. I thought you were going to get her... you know..."

Mulder finished solemnly, "Killed. Yeah, I know. Believe me... I was scared of the same thing."

Tom's eyes widened at the admission. Mulder had been afraid he'd endanger Dana too?

Lela smiled knowingly, "Speaking of Dana," then her pitch changed to address someone slightly further away, "hello, Dana."

Tom pulled his eyes away from Mulder to see that Dana Scully was approaching them.

Mulder turned, looking behind him at his approaching partner.

Scully looked up at Mulder, giving him one of her rare and privileged smiles, which disappeared and was replaced by a more fake one as she greeted the group, "Hi Lela, Tom... and... Miranda?"

Miranda nodded, "Nice to see you again, Dana."

Scully stepped up beside Mulder, standing close as she shook hands with the three before her.

Tom was the first to ask, "How have you been, Dana?"

Scully smiled, "Great... thanks for asking, Tom."

Lela glanced up at Mulder beside Scully, then back to Dana, "We were just talking to Agent Mulder about his son. Have you seen him, Dana?"

Scully very nearly broke into an all out smile. Instead, she looked up at Mulder, who returned the tight smile as both tried not to let show any amusement.

Scully nodded, "Yeah... I saw William before Mulder did."

Tom started to wonder.

Scully turned to Mulder, "Actually, I came over to talk to you, Mulder. I was just going to call and check with the babysitter, make sure William's okay."

Mulder nodded, "All right, say hello to your mother for me," then reached his arm around Dana's body. Pulling her in faintly, just enough to lay a kiss on her forehead, then let her go as Dana passed him a smile and left... pulling out her cell phone as she moved through the crowd.

Lela and Miranda were speechless, and Tom felt his suspicion being answered. He recalled the picture of baby William... those eyes that were most certainly not hazel like his father's... those eyes that had been a very familiar blue, whispers of his face that had not quite seemed Mulder, but before he hadn't been able to place.

Dana rejoined them very shortly, looking up with her entire attention on Mulder, "Mulder... Mom said she can't get William to sleep," then she smiled, "probably misses his bedtime story."

Mulder gave her a crooked smile, "Mom just can't tell the Little Alien Joe story like the expert can."

Scully shook her head, smiling, "Anyway, I thought we'd go pick him up and head home... maybe you could tell him that story. You ready to leave?"

Mulder nodded, "Yeah," then turned to Tom and the two women, "Tom, Lela, Miranda... it's been nice seeing you."

The women were quite cordial and Tom was sincere as he returned the sentiment. It really had been pleasant seeing Mulder again. Hell had officially frozen over in Tom's little universe.

As they were turning to leave, Tom called out, "Mulder... Dana... congratulations to both of you."

Both turned, regarding him a moment, then Mulder nodded and Dana said, "Thank you," before turning back. Mulder's left hand, gold band hitting the light, came up to rest on the small of Scully's back. Scully lifted her left hand to wave at someone as they left... a small left hand that had its own gold band on the ring finger to match Mulder's.

Tom watched after them, stunned.

Those people were not the ones he'd known eight years ago. Both Mulder and Dana had changed considerably.

Maybe the changes were for the best.

He'd never actually known either to look content before. They were now.

One thing was certain... no one at this party was the same person Tom had known at one time. It only struck him at that moment, but he was in a room full of strangers.

Such were the peculiarities of growing up, even for people like Fox Mulder and Dana Scully... or was it Dana Mulder now?

END