So I wrote this chapter literally last year, and it's just been sitting on the computer since then. I know for a certainty that the reason I didn't post it before was because I had ideas to improve it, but for the life of me I can't remember now what it was I was going to do. If it comes to me later I'll just have to write it into another chapter.

I do have ideas coming off of the third movie (and by the way, SPOILER WARNING THE SECOND: ANY AND ALL CHAPTERS FROM THIS POINT FORWARD MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE TRILOGY), so hopefully I'll be writing more soon. I'm going to end up writing some chapters that take place in the middle of the trilogy (Sparrington!Jack, anyone?), and you'll just have to wait and see what I do about the canon death of John John.

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Infatuated!Jack

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Elizabeth sighed as she looked at the letter. It was written in a hand that might have been called spidery, if one was feeling generous, but which was really more guinea piggy than anything else—comically misshapen and prone to fits of loud whistling. It was signed, as all the others had been, with a blob that she hoped was meant to be a bird, but which was quite possibly something quite a bit naughtier. She frowned at the page's contents, and threw it into the fire. No sense letting Will see it and get worked up about it again.

She tried to put it out of her mind as she went about her business that day, but the letters had been coming more and more frequently, and she honestly didn't know what to do about it. She decided, as she had many times before, to sleep on it and see what she thought in the morning.

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She did not, however, get much rest that night. At what must have been sometime around two in the morning, Elizabeth awoke to the sound of horrific caterwauling outside her bedroom window. After several minutes of attempting to block out the sound with the use of her hands, her pillow, and even her bed warmer, which she quickly regretted both because it had been quite silly of her to think it would work and because she burned her ear rather badly. The last did wake her up from her state of drowsiness, which was fortunate only in that it gave her the energy to get up and do something about the awful sounds coming from the garden.

Elizabeth threw open her window and glared down at the culprit, who grinned unapologetically back up at her as he continued to warble "Hold me now!" despite the fact that the song he was singing wouldn't be written for several hundred years.

"Shut up, Jack!" shouted Elizabeth. Jack, to his credit, shut up.

But only briefly.

"Lo, what light through yonder window breaks!" he crooned. "It is the East, and Elizabeth is the sun!"

"That one's getting old, Jack," groaned Elizabeth. "Stop saying it."

"But Elizabeth!" objected Jack. "I love you! I love you more than anything else in the entire world, and I want you to come sail away with me on my ship!"

"Do you love me more than the Pearl?"

"Yes, my darling!"

"More than the sea?"

"Yes!"

"More than life itself?"

"Oh yes, my beloved, a thousand times yes!"

"What about peanut butter and banana sandwiches?"

Jack stared, dumbfounded, his mouth working silently. Elizabeth smirked. Finally, he found his voice.

"I can learn to love you more than peanut butter and banana sandwiches if it pleases you," he said miserably.

"I told you, Jack, we're through," frowned Elizabeth. "Peanut butter and banana sandwiches or no, I just want you to leave me alone!"

"Didn't you see the present I left you last week?"

"Burning your name into the lawn in ten-foot-tall letters is hardly a present, Jack. And I know you were in my room, then, too!"

Jack looked affronted. "I would never do such a thing! I love you, and I respect you!"

"Then why are three pairs of my undergarments missing?" demanded Elizabeth. Jack looked mildly uncomfortable.

"I was going to give them back," he protested. "You never let me near you!"

"That's because I don't want you near me! I'm going to get a restraining order if this keeps up!"

"But Elizabeth!"

"But nothing!"

She slammed the window shut and went back to bed, fuming. After a few moments, the singing started again.

Jack did not, however, keep Elizabeth up all night. This was due in part to his consideration for his one true love's need to rest, but mostly because of the attack dogs she had sent out shortly after their discussion.