Title: In Which Hermione Dies

Author: Tiny Q

E-Mail: one legged lesbian seagull hotmail com (Please add 3 underscores, one "at" sign, and a period)

A/N: Well, I must say that I was more than a little disappointed with a few of the responses to this story. I would just like to ask you this: since when do I write the characters "in character"? Never. So why, all of a sudden does my writing them OOC warrant complaint? I mean sure, the characters were a little more insane than usual in this story, but why do I suddenly have to change them? I write for myself and no one else, which is probably why this chapter, as well as the 14 other finished chapters/stories have sat unedited in my folder for so long. The only reason I put my stories up is so that people who have similar interests as me can find some entertainment in them as well. I do not need to be told to change my characters. Suggestions are good, but when I have people demanding for me to do so I get a little mad. So yes, I suppose all I am trying to say is that I really don't give a bloody damn if you don't like how I write the HP characters. I enjoy them and if you don't then you can go off and try and find yourself some "canon fan fiction" if there is such a thing in this fandom anymore. For those of you who supported me with this story I hug you until you can't breathe. :p

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I Which Hermione Dies

Chapter 2

Howler Monkey Style

-o-

I hadn't seen Ginny all day, which wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence, but it still made me a little wary. I think it has been the looks that people have been giving me all day that is putting me on edge. The incredulous, suspicious looks one hosts after hearing a juicy piece of gossip, wondering if it could be true. And I suspect the gossip they have heard about me and Ginny must be some of the juicier gossip they have heard all year.

If I were them I would probably be in there as well, speculating as to whether a Weasley and a Malfoy really could get along. But then, I am a Malfoy and Malfoys do not gossip. Ever. But I suppose I can still understand where they are coming from, even if I don't like it in the slightest.

I have never really been one for shying away from attention when it is warranted, but this was all downright insulting and prying. I mean, what does it really matter to them if I am going out with a Weasley? Well, I suppose it might disturb the foundations of their worlds, for certainly they all believed that it was a universal constant for Malfoys and Weasleys to always be at ends with each other. I always believed it myself. But then, I suppose they are correct in saying that nothing is set in stone. But I've never really understood that saying for stone erodes over time, doesn't it? So then wouldn't whatever you had written in the stone erode as well? Not that I really care, but still.

I sat alone at the Slytherin table, taking to glaring at any who dared to sit near me or even look at me. What can I say? After an entire day of putting up with people's gawking who wouldn't be a little putout when they had to contend with it while eating? Unfortunately though, their staring seemed to have chased off my appetite, and I am suspecting that that is what happened to Ginny as well, for she is no where to be seen in the room.

So, grabbing a roll off of my plate, I stood up, sending a universal glare around once more, and made my way out the door. I knew where she would be: with the books in the library. The halls on the way there were void of people and it was rather nice not have them staring at me. I really hate it when people stare at me when I don't want them to. Especially when I can't scare them off.

I entered the library and made my way to the back. There she was, her lovely hair glinting in the fire light. I found myself grinning slightly as I went to sit bedside her. She was scratching furiously with her quill at a piece of parchment. I almost winced for it.

Yet as I sat there she continued to scratch at it, not paying me the least bit of attention, the face of a certain bushy haired Mudblood materializing on the page. I felt rather ignored, so I moved a bit closer and caught at her long hair. I have always loved to touch it. There is just something so entirely soft and warm about it that my fingers just itch to feel it. And I am never one to deny myself what I want.

"Ginny dear," I finally said softly, getting bored of the silence. "What are you doing exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked me, not even looking up to speak to me. "I'm doodling Hermione's death."

I paused for a moment. I had just been joking when I suggested she should kill her. The last thing I need is for her to be locked up in Azkaban along with a horde of sex-craved criminals. Just the thought of it has me shuddering in disgust. Not to mention that my father is in there as well, but I don't want to get into that.

"You know," I said slowly, my fingers moving to get a hold of more hair. "They call that incriminating evidence."

"I'm not going to keep it," she assured me. Her tongue was sticking out slightly now as she titled her head and continued to scratch away. It was making it a trifle hard to think, so I turned my attention away from her mouth and instead towards her hands where she was clutching one of her ratty quills.

That is the one thing that she will never accept from me: new quills. She always insists that the ones she has work just fine and that she doesn't need to be wasteful. I could never understand that either. To me they are just plain ugly. But my redhead doesn't seem to see the horrendous colors or the way the feathers stick in odd and unnatural directions.

"No. Of course you're not," I said reasonably. "You're just going to put it in the book with all your other drawings, publish it, and sell it. You'll make hundreds of galleons. And with that money you will buy a machete and hack her to death."

"You're being silly," Ginny said, shaking her head. For an instant I felt relief flood through me. My girlfriend isn't going homicidal. "I already have enough pocket money to get one of those." Perhaps I was a mite presumptuous. "No, I want something bigger. Like one of those Muggle bombs. What are they called? Nucleolus? Newton...?"

"Nuclear?" I offered. And don't look at me like that. It was part of my father's lessons: to learn about Muggle weapons in case one ever tried to use them against me. Those creatures sure do have some rather barbaric methods of killing one another off. Me, I prefer a good Avada over any of the crap that they have come up with. Much less to clean up afterwards. Why am I saying this?

"That's it," she replied rather cheerfully. It was scary to think a bomb can make her cheerful. "I want a nuclear bomb. She'll never walk away from that."

"Nor will anyone else..." I muttered.

It was at this time that she finally turned away from her parchment, even if it was just to hit me with her ugly quill. I think I will burn them all one of these days. She glared at me, and I couldn't help but smirk back.

"What?" I asked, my smirk trying to pull itself into something more. "It's true. No one else will either."

"Well, I suppose they will just have to be sacrificed for the greater good," she said as though it was the most logical explanation in the world.

"Of course," I said with a nod.

By this time the library had begun to fill up with students annoyed with their day's homework. That always happens in this place. It's as if no one in the school can come up with original places to do their work. I looked around, watching as younger students filled the empty seats of the tables around us. It seemed like it was going to be a full house today. And they were all staring. I sensed Ginny shifting her things back into her bag. I looked at her.

"I don't want to be in here anymore," she muttered, her face going slightly red. I had never liked the way she had blushed before. It was a symbol of all that was Weasley. But then after I fell for her it became on of the things about her that I found the most attractive. Then something occurred to me: were these people's stares really making her that uncomfortable? Apparently they were.

"Are you sure you don't just want to use that bomb to get rid of them all?" I asked, smirking wider at her. She got a little redder, but not from embarrassment this time. "Hermione's just a front, isn't she?"

"No," Ginny replied with a pouty voice. She stood up, swinging her bag onto her finely shaped shoulders. "They are just a bonus." She glanced around and people quickly turned their heads, pretending not to be watching us. "A very large bonus."

With a slight snort I offered her my arm. She stared at it for a moment then accepted it. Well, if everyone seems to suspect us now, why bother hiding it all? Why go through the trouble of putting up a front they will see through anyways? We walked out of the library, people staring at us the entire time. I was glaring and Ginny was blushing like there was no tomorrow. Perhaps I will have to kill them all for her. Yes, I think that just might be what I have to do. I can't let them all see that cute blush of hers.

-o-

I really hate when people stare at me. I really do. It's just something that annoys me to death. I can never know what the staring people are thinking about me, what they are plotting. If I had it my way anyone who stared at me would have their eyes gorged out. I really do not know where all these violent thoughts are coming from lately. I think it's the stress of our relationship coming out.

You know, I had about twenty girls, all from different years, come up to me today, giggling like there was no tomorrow. They all wanted to know if Draco was as good in the sac as the rumors said. I promptly threatened them with "unfortunate" accidents if they ever so much as thought about such things again. No, I did not have to play bitch today. I am one.

But seriously, I am not going to tell them how good Draco really is. Especially if they just come up to me, giggling as if it was a big joke. Sometimes people astound me with their stupidity. Ahg, this is all Hermione's fault.

It was at that moment, when we were walking out of the library, that my stomach decided to grumble.

"Are you hungry?" Draco asked me, my hand still tucked into his arm. I looked up at him to see him looking at me with an arched eyebrow.

"No," I replied. My stomach once again decided to make its presence known causing Draco to smirk. Traitor.

"And why weren't you in the Great Hall eating like you should have been if you were hungry?" he asked, the smirk still on his face. He knew damn well why I wasn't in there. "You know, starving yourself will do your figure no good." He smirked further then. "You just wouldn't be the same without those curves."

I glared up at him, whacking him with my free hand. "You are such an ass sometimes, Draco," I hissed, my hand drifting to my hips. They really aren't that big. But there's never anything I can really do about them. Some people get the fat in their chest or their stomachs. I get them in my hips. Sometimes the world just isn't fair.

"Ah," he replied solemnly, releasing my hand and letting his arm snake around my waist. "But then it makes one wonder as to why you put up with me at all."

"Good point," I sighed, leaning into his side. "I must be a complete loony."

"Only explanation," he nodded, leading me down the hall. It didn't take me very long to realize that we were going down to the kitchens. I didn't comment though, and remained content with feeling him move beside me.

When we entered the kitchens we found it empty. This place always creeps me out when it's like this and I'm by myself. I don't know why, but I can always imagine something crawling out of the ovens and eating me. I know it's irrational, but there you go. We scrounged up some food and sat ourselves down at the end of one of the tables.

"And you were talking about me starving myself?" I scoffed, watching as my lovely blond proceeded to gobble down all of the food he had piled onto his plate. He looked up and grinned at me with that grin that is so close to being his smile. I felt myself beginning to melt, but managed to stop myself before it got too far.

"Hey, I have to keep my curves too," he replied with his grin, then turned back to his food. I rolled my eyes. That boy has no curves, he's all angles. Well, not all I suppose, since his head is rather round, but then that chin of his isn't exactly what one could call curvy. Pointy yes, curvy no.

We didn't have much to say to each other after this and I found that the silence we slipped into was rather comfortable. Like an old glove really, if that makes any sense? We didn't find a reason to use our voices until we were back out in the hall, hand in hand, making our way towards our dormitories.

"So, I take it the rumors are true then," a voice sounded from behind us. We both stopped. I glanced at Draco with a touch of worry but all he could offer was a slight smile which seemed more like a grimace to tell you the truth. Well, you would be a touch worried too if you had to face the person who was behind us.

"Professor," Draco greeted, turning both of us around to face the Potions Master. Usually Snape doesn't bother me, but who knows how our now no longer secret relationship will change all that. And he is looking rather menacing at the moment.

"I had heard what the students have been saying," Snape said slowly, raising an eyebrow as he said it. "But I refused to believe it. A Malfoy with a Weasley." He turned his black eyes to me then and I felt Draco's hand grip mine a touch harder. There was something altogether insulting about his stare. Something that was altogether wrong about it. I think in that moment I knew what it felt like to be Harry.

Tearing my hand away from my Draco's elegant one, I leapt at Snape, howler monkey style. I pulled at his greasy hair and bit at his hooked nose. I did everything but scratch his eyes out for looking at me like some insignificant creature. I was his pupil, not some piece of trash going out with his prized student! He must pay the price for his insolence.

Well, that was definitely an interesting train of thought. I resisted the urge to shake my head. Like I would ever be able to attack Snape. Or bite his nose. That would just be nasty. No, I will save that attack for Hermione. Yes, a howler monkey style death for the bushy haired chipmunk girl. Animal versus animal. And of course I would win and come out alive, while she would "unfortunately" come out dead... Yet another plan I suppose.

I turned my attention back to the professor's insulting look just in time to see him begin to smirk. The look washed away to be replaced by something entirely different. Something that almost seemed to hold amusement. Or even approval? But I think even that would be too much, especially for Snape.

"It must be historic," he said, his lips pulling into a slight smirk. Then, with one final look at Draco, he turned on his heel and strode away, his cloak billowing after him. I have always thought that he must practices that move.

"Well that was..." I trailed off, staring after the Potions Master as he made his way around a corner and disappeared from sight.

"Different," Draco offered, my hand still in his. Then we turned and looked at each other, each mirroring each other's astonishment. Who would have thought that after all we went through today, it would end with Snape's approval?

-o-

As I sat in bed a few hours later, I still couldn't get the last look Snape gave me out of my head. It was just downright creepy that Snape would take an interest in our relationship. Let alone refer to it as being "historic". It was just wrong. So much so that I couldn't even distract myself away from it with my book. And it was an interesting one too, filled with all sorts of curses and counter curses of the most unique nature.

I let out a rather large sigh and sunk deeper under my covers, determined to get it all out of my head. All the staring eyes and whispered words. And it probably would have worked too, if it hadn't been for my bedroom door slamming open, revealing my girlfriend. No, I probably could have managed it if she hadn't launched herself at me, crying her heart out.

Damn it all.

-o-

A/N: Well yes, I don't know when I am going to get the next chapter out. I am such a lazy bum and haven't edited anything for a while. Like this chapter, I finished writing it about eight months ago and just decided to edit it. Oh well. There are going to be two chapters after this one, so perhaps I will get them out before I turn the number which we do not speak of... Lol.

Many thanks to: Toreen, storm079(Are you still around?), meena2, StAlKaHoLiC(Well, I think the 5th book has made her a bit less perfect, but I know what you mean), Hplova4eva(Have you gone away as well?), sabacat, Nerwen Faelvirin, Lallie(And what ever happened to that idea? WRITE!), bigreader(Pickles?), Goddess(Giant Squid eh... lol), thundergoddess(Turns on Draco? No, that sounds like a Lallie plot to me...), Queen of the Night, Misobel(No problem at all), MokteBell(What ever gave you that idea?), ToOtHpIcK, Isadora, Lady Moofin, Yazethet, storm and Angie.