Songs are written to the HP music of John Williams. In the Songs of the Hogwarts Express in Chapter 1 , Ten Good Tonnes of Coal is set to Dobby the House Elf, CD2 track 09, 0:00-1:14, but slightly faster, and Ferroequinautics to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, CD1 track 06, 0:00-0:17. In Chapter 2, Prestidigitation is set to Mr. Longbottom Flies (Nimbus 2000), CD1 track 19, 1:47-3:45. In Chapter 5, The Sky Chorale (Like a Symphony, Rising) is set to Fawkes the Phoenix, CD2 track 02 in its entirety. Fortunately for the 2-line storm sequence in the last song, the Bulwer-Lytton Awards don't have a lyrics category.
Original story material and lyrics are the property of the fanfic author; other material of Rowling et al. falls under the usual disclaimer. The author salutes the Connecticut Society of Ferroequinologists, whose clever club name inspired the coined word used here.
1. Like A Feather.
Ron Weasley was not in the best humour at the moment. "It's gonna be our great singing debut, huh? And I get lines like 'We is now the crew'."
Harry tossed a lump of coal up and down. "Don't complain. I've got the 'feather' lines... and this silly prop. I don't need a prop; the audience can't see us. 'It's to get you in the mood,' she says. All it's doing is getting my pockets dirty."
"Well, don't put it in a different pocket each time, you prat!"
Harry smiled. "Oh, eat coal."
"You first, oh great one. Ginny tried her poetry on you last year, and you didn't warn us. What was that frog line?"
"Don't remind me," said Harry, cringing at the thought of Ginny's valentine. "She compared the colour of my eyes to a 'fresh pickled toad'."
"Classical British poetry, that. Just think, Harry; someday you'll be famous -- once you actually do something -- and I'll mention the fresh-pickled toad when I write your intimate biography, Harry Potter: A Short Story. So then they'll include a fresh-pickled-toad song in Harry Potter: The Musical, and they'll have you skating with a fresh-pickled toad in Harry Potter On Ice. Yeah, inspired British poetry, right up there with Shearspake."
"That's Shakespeare."
"Eat your coal before it gets cold. Where is our fearless director, anyway?"
"Maybe she got an owl from Pinewood with a job offer," suggested Seamus.
"Oh good," said Ron. "My sister, the big director! Hope she'll make enough to support all her brothers -- right, Ginny?"
"Support yourself, big brother," said a smiling Ginny, faking a slap at Ron as she entered. "Sorry I'm late, I was just checking the girls' chorus on their other number. Are you all ready to give it a go?"
A chorus of one "Sure," one "No", one "Are you kidding?", one "Never" and two toots on a flute were her answer.
"Good," said Ginny anyway. "Remember, we only have a few more days to practice, then we're on. I know you'll all be great."
Justin, on the flute, sounded a few discordant notes. The chorus -- Ron, Harry, Dean and Seamus -- laughed.
Ginny was undeterred. "Okay. Wizarding Wireless Network Sunday Programme, Hogwarts Special; the fabulous Third Year Boys' Chorus flawlessy performs the Songs of the Hogwarts Express!..... uh, Take 1. Flutes?"
Justin and Terry tootled the intro, and Seamus the Driver launched his three trainee Firemen into their rousing work song, reading from their scripts:
- DRIVER
- Rise and shine, my crew;
- I have work for you!
- Hearty shoveling meets our goal:
- Ten good tonnes of .. coal!
- Rise and shine, my crew;
- 1st FIREMAN
- It's the only proper thing for us to do!
- 2nd FIREMAN
- It's expected, seeing we is now the crew!
- 3rd FIREMAN (hefting a lump of coal)
- Like a feather, only more than one or two!
- 1st FIREMAN
- Only proper!
- 2nd FIREMAN
- It's expected!
- 3rd FIREMAN
- Like a feather!
- DRIVER
- All together!
- ALL
- Hogwarts waits for us;
- Better than the bus!
- Hearty shoveling makes us roll,
- Ten good tonnes of .. coal!
- Hogwarts waits for us;
- DRIVER
- Traveling by horses made from iron -- that needs a name,
- The word is Ferroequinautics in the railway game!
- Shovel coal and burn it to heat water into steam,
- Which keeps the Ferroequinautics engine on the beam!
- Traveling by horses made from iron -- that needs a name,
- 1st FIREMAN
- Magic moves a broom, but that's where magic is the rule,
- So here it's Ferroequinautics for the trip to school!
- Magic moves a broom, but that's where magic is the rule,
- 2nd FIREMAN
- Objects levitate, but they ride on a magic track,
- So here it's Ferroequinautics to go there and back!
- Objects levitate, but they ride on a magic track,
- 3rd FIREMAN
- Quidditch players fly, but they are quite the magic mob,
- So here it's Ferroequinautics that will do the job!
- Quidditch players fly, but they are quite the magic mob,
- DRIVER
- Make a wicked potion, but that can't make engines run,
- So we need Ferroequinautics power, by the tonne!
- Make a wicked potion, but that can't make engines run,
- ALL
- Traveling by horses made from iron --- that needs a name,
- The word is Ferroequinautics in the railway game!
- Traveling by horses made from iron --- that needs a name,
- 2nd FIREMAN
- We're protected from the wind in here, he say!
- 3rd FIREMAN
- Like a feather, float to Hogwarts in a day!
- 1st FIREMAN
- Only proper!
- 2nd FIREMAN
- We're protected!
- 3rd FIREMAN
- Like a feather!
- DRIVER
- All together!
- ALL
- Stoke the fire with pride --
- Magic children ride!
- Hearty shoveling warms the soul,
- Ten good tonnes of .. coal!
- Stoke the fire with pride --
- Stoke the fire with pride --
- Magic children ride!
- Hearty shoveling warms the soul,
- Ten good tonnes of ....
- Ten good tonnes of ....
- Coal!
- Magic children ride!
Ginny applauded. "You've got it perfectly, right off! That was so great!"
"We've been practising," said Justin. "We know it means a lot to you, Ginny, so we're going to do it up proper, until show time ..."
"....and then," added Seamus, "we're all going to perform out of tune and flub our lines." The chorus snickered and snorted.
"Oh, no you shan't! Don't make me hex you into doing it right."
"Oh, please don't hex us, oh great evil sister witch!" mugged 2nd Fireman, going on his knees. "If your magic is as good as your songs, you'll turn us all into toads!"
"Yes, and you'll be first, big brother! No, really, it was great, and .... who was that?"
The boys looked around. "Who was who?" asked Dean.
"Well, she's gone now. Someone at the doorway. She was..... short -- barely up to the lock, and she wore a long dress. At first I thought she was a house-elf, but she didn't look like an elf."
"Flitwick?"
"In a dress? Hardly, Ron."
"Then it had to be a house-elf, Ginny. Nobody else is that short... well, Harry's here, so he's accounted for."
"I heard that, Weasley," said Harry.
Ginny chuckled. "Well.... then I don't know what I saw. But anyway. The girls' chorus is still practicing the magic song, and Harry has a Quidditch meeting, right? So they'll be ready early this afternoon to try it out, if you're all available about 12:30."
The boys looked at each other, with some shrugging, and all nodded.
"Good!" said Ginny in anticipation. "If we finish quickly, you'll still have time to visit Hogsmeade. See you here then."