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Nosey Neighbors…

Story 2

Simon Lewis The Not-So-Super-Spy Verse

(Verse9)

Description:

Simon wakes up from the craziest dream…only to realize it wasn't a crazy dream…it's the 1st day of his totally insane new life as the single least qualified spy in the history of spying…

Damnit…why couldn't it have just been a nice, simple drugging?

That seems SO much more preferable to living with a CIA Boyscout and just next door to the stupidly gorgeous freaking boogeyman assassin of the NSA.

Well…at least he has his best friends to keep him sane and grounded.

What would he do without Kevin and Magnus?

At least They're normal…

Or are they?

Story Notes:

Hi again! I'm back. This one's gonna be fun. We'll have lots of action, lots of flailing Simon, slightly exasperated but charmed Raphael, calm cool (when Magnus's not around) Alec, and a Magnus unlike anything else we've had so far…

The Magnus twist just came to me when I was getting close to the end and I actually had to rework like 70% of everything I already had planned but it's SO totally worth it.

Oh, one more thing? From here on out I'm gonna try (TRY being the operative word) to keep to just having 1 section per chapter whenever possible. When I started writing having the multiple parts was a good way to beef up the chapters as they were pretty short but as I now regularly have chapters that go over 10k words and my average length of sections has went from less than 2 k to around 4-6k or more I think we're good.

Stories are still gonna be long (Don't worry) still a lot of shifting POV's cause I really love that, and likely still some random meandering parts just because I can't seem to help it but from here on out I'm trying to cut down on the 'filler' type sections and chapters.

I don't know how it's gonna go…but that's my goal…

Kay enough of me babbling…

Back to the spy craft insanity…

Chapter 1:

I Had The Craziest Dre-

Ah Crap…

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*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*-Simon-*

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Simon groaned, rolling over, stretching, gaze landing on the clock on the nightstand.

Hmm…Tuesday…

Thank god-it's his day off. He SO needed it after last night. Craziest dreams he's ever had. Spies and bumbling and break ins and high speed chases and an MIB like bunker hidden beneath the world's most depressing travel agency in existence. Ending up with a Captain America/Boyscout CIA agent roommate and living thirty feet from a scarily gorgeous NSA assassin who made other agents so twitchy they had to be given a heads up on his arrival- and even THEN they panicked.

Simon somehow bumbling into being the single most ill qualified spy in the history of spying all thanks to a Jackass acquaintance from high school and his eagerness for a possible bootleg game.

Tell you one thing after that dream he is never downloading a bootleg game again. Like ever. I mean yeah, it was just a bizzaro dream and logically the only real danger of downloading a bootleg game is a computer virus and some malware but gotta say, dreaming about being the world's first and only person to ever actually physically catch a computer virus? Yeah, that's gonna put him off them for a while.

Man…where the hell did that come from?

He doesn't know what he did or watched or ate yesterday that screwed with him so much as to trigger that insanity but as soon as he figures it out he's damn sure not doing it again. It was totally out of left field. W-well… maybe not totally…I mean, okay- he DOES spend a kind of absurd amount of his non-work (and okay sometimes work) hours on the computer or game stations. Maybe it was like a bizarre warning from his brain that he's spending too much time on them. Telling him he's too attached to it - that if he doesn't ease up and step back a little he's gonna literally fuse with the damn things.

Yeah it's a leap but it's the best explanation he can come up with. And he probably could use a little break from all the techie stuff- like all of it; computer, gaming consoles, phone, the whole nine yards. He doesn't think he can remember the last time he went a full day without messing with one–okay all- of them. Actually if pressed he probably can't remember even going a full waking hour without at least one of them.

Umm…yeah…might be a bit much.

Maybe he does just need a little breather from all of that. It probably was just a wakeup call- one he really should listen to. Today's his day off, he can start right now. He could take the day, step back from all the electronic distractions and just relax. Maybe go for a walk, go to the beach or even on an actual hike.

He could straighten up the house, go to the market and pick up some stuff for a real homemade dinner to cook tonight, maybe even settle in and read a nice old fashioned book- like a real ink and paper type book. Just have a nice, quiet peaceful retrospective/reset kinda day.

Hmm…that actually sounds kinda nice.

He gave a soft sigh, rolling back over, pushing himself up into a sitting position before shifting over to the side of the bed. He stood up, stepping into his favorite slippers, stretching his arms up above his head till he heard his back pop satisfyingly. Yawning loudly he made his way to the bedroom door, pushing his hair back, fingers slipping through the tangled birds nest of light brown locks, making his way down the hallway towards the kitchen and over to the coffee pot, getting ready to fill it before pausing, blinking in confusion.

Huh…coffee's already made…

Did he set the timer?

He doesn't usually, not on his days off in any case…a-and it's not full. Did Kevin come over already this morning? He did that sometime when they had the same day off. But No, he works today- and no way in hell Mags's up before noon so what's going o-

He startles at the sound of the door banging open, whirling around.

"Damnit Raphael I'm only gonna tell you one more time, you cannot just pull down the damn trellis!" Alec groused, shaking his head exasperatedly, all but slamming the door behind him.

Raphael scoffed.

"Think you mean I shouldn't."

"No I mean you can't!"

"Yeah I can…it's easy. All I need is a crowbar, a couple tools and like three minutes, no sweat. It needs to come down, it's a security threat."

"This is a RENTAL!"

Raphael rolled his eyes, giving a dismissive wave.

"It'll be fine, we'll just say it had storm damage."

"We're in Santa Barbara!"

"Okay sun damage."

"Oh my god, you're insane…" Alec groaned rubbing his face agitatedly.

Raphael chuckled, head tilting, looking up at the taller man with a thoroughly amused smirk.

"Relax Boyscout, breathe…and maybe switch to decaf- you really are too high strung."

Alec scoffed, giving a sarcastic look.

"Hey I'm not high strung okay? I am totally levelheaded. This is a perfectly acceptable reaction to THAT level of unreasonableness and craziness…and for the last time stop calling me that!"

Raphael snorted, smirk pulling up a tic.

"Yeah you're levelheaded…and I'm a pacifist."

Alec gave a disbelieving scoff, blinking before startling, just now catching sight of Simon frozen over by the coffee pot. He shifted, looking near relieved, gesturing over to him, beginning towards the kitchen.

"Oh good Simon, you're up. I need your help here- he's insane and he's been purposefully setting me off all morning. And I know damn good and well it's on purpose- no one can possibly be THAT obnoxious and aggravating unintentionally. He's talking about full on remodel type things! I don't know what's a legitimate security suggestion and what's him just trying to piss me off!

He at least almost listens to you- hell of a lot more than he does with me in any case. Maybe you can try to talk some sense into him. I need a second voice of reason to drown out the insanity." He finished coming to a stop next to Simon, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms, shooting an exasperated glare over at Raphael.

Raphael all but slinked into the kitchen, settling against the kitchen island, leaning back, gaze flickering from Alec over to Simon. His eyebrow quirks, dizzyingly dark gaze slipping slowly over Simon, a little spark flickering in those gorgeous espresso brown eyes that kinda makes Simon's breath catch and his stomach do a funny little flip. The eyes spark brighter, catching Simon's for a moment, an entirely too appealing smirk tugging at the corner of his pretty lips before his gaze shifts back to Alec, head tilting.

"Your voice of reason is wearing pajamas decorated with rainbow kittens and Wookie slippers."

Alec huffed, pointing back at him.

"Hey that does not in any way negate what he says…" He paused, glancing over at Simon, weirdly light hazely green eyes shifting over his pjs and the fuzzy Wookie slippers, flashing a faintly apologetic, amused little half smile, clearly fighting off a bit of a chuckle.

"Though gotta admit, it doesn't exactly help."

Simon blinked, still frozen in place, clutching at his coffee mug like a lifeline.

Umm…o-okay…so…

NOT a crazy dream…his new crazy reality.

A reality in which he was the least qualified spy in the history of spying…in which he had a computer program downloaded directly into his brain, rewriting his mental codes even right at this very moment. A Reality in which he will be living in the same house as a kind of fussy, super moral, CIA Boyscout and exactly thirty feet away from a NSA trained assassin who is hands down the most terrifying (And terrifyingly gorgeous) person he has ever met in his entire life.

A terrifyingly gorgeous, terrifyingly terrifying NSA trained assassin who is now standing in his kitchen, smirking at him in his rainbow cartoon kitten pajamas and fluffy Wookie slippers, with his wild messy bedhead, clutching his 'come to the dork side, we have cookies' coffee mug like it's a freaking security blanket.

Crap…

He is SO not getting his reset day.

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***End Of Chapter Notes***

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Kay so this one was a bit short but it's started- I love the image of Simon at the end- you know Raph is trying to seem all cool and collected but is totally melting on the inside at the sheer overwhelming adorableness. There's just no defense against that lol.

I love this verse so much- it's gonna be a blast!

So what do you guys think so far?

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