A/N:

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my fic! Before you read, I want to clarify the ships and some liberties I will be taking in this story.

I want to talk about the ships because I noticed that some fanfics get backlash if a certain pairing isn't disclosed to the readers even when that couple coming together is only a side plot. Personally, I hate it when every single pairing is told to me early on, so if you're like me, then skip this paragraph! It contains SPOILERS. So, the first pairing is the obvious one, Helga and Arnold. They will be together throughout the whole story. The second couple is Phoebe and Gerald who will have an on again off again relationship. The last couple is one I haven't fully committed to yet, so they might not even show up as a couple. That is lesbian couple, Lila and Rhonda. I think that's it for the pairings, but if I decide to add any, I'll mention it in future author's notes.

The second issue I want to talk about is some liberties that I decided to take for this fic. The first revolves around the "when" this story takes place. Even though Hey Arnold! takes place in the 90's/ early 20's, this will take place in the late 2010's before the corona virus pandemic. I figured that'd be the easiest way to write it because I won't need to research any style trends, what kind of cellphone everyone uses, etc.

The second liberty deals with the beeper. I know that beepers became obsolete much before the late 2010's, but for the sake of this fic, I decided to keep them alive a little longer. ***Spoiler for the story*** Skip the rest of the paragraph if you don't want to be spoiled! In this story, Bob still sells beepers, but he sells them with a lot of other electronic devices. He's kind of like BestBuy. I did this because if Big Bob's Beepers was in the same state as it was in TJM, then the Pataki family would probably be struggling financially, and I didn't want Helga's family life to be more complicated than it already is. So, even though it isn't historically accurate, beepers are kinda-sorta-not-really still around and are being phased out of existance/kinda already no longer around? Does that make sense? I hope so, since I'm the writer. (Please let me know if it doesn't.)

Lastly, I doubt I will ever mention their hands and fingers, but if I do, then everyone will have five fingers. It's easier for me to write.

To recap, I mentioned the pairings I will and might explore in this story and some of the liberties I will be taking. The liberties deal with the "when," historical inaccuracies involving technology, and how many fingers the characters have.

I hope you enjoy the story. I do not own Hey Arnold!.

Chapter 1

The List

Helga

I never really cared much about looks. I never considered myself particularly beautiful or particularly ugly. At least, not as ugly as I feel now. The kind of ugliness you feel when you learn the difference between ugly and beautiful and realize that you're not beautiful. Or in this case, sexy.

Pinned on the high school bulletin board surrounded by the clutter of advertisements are two lists. The list on the left shows the top five sexiest sophomore girls, and the list on the right shows the top five ugliest sophomore girls.

Top 5 Sexiest Sophomore Girls

Lila Sawyer

Rhonda Lloyd

Nadine Robinson

Emily McConnell

Michelle Andrews

Top 5 Ugliest Sophomore Girls

Melody Majors

Katrinka Buccille

Helga Pataki

Ashley Fitzgerald

Sheena Smith

I knew the lists were coming. A junior last year told me that these lists get posted every year around this time. It starts with the freshmen girls following the next week with the sophomore girls, and the next week with the junior and the week after ending with the senior girls. Last week, the freshman list was posted.

I shouldn't care about it. I don't care about it! Criminy, why do I care about it? It's not a part of my nature to worry about crap like this! I'm Helga Pataki! Toughest girl in my year. Made varsity basketball freshmen year. A proud member of the literary club. My family life is questionable, but I have so many friends I don't know what to do with myself. And, I have been in the world's best relationship since the sixth grade! Garbage like this is beneath me. I didn't care about it last year, so why should I care about it now? Maybe because last year, I wasn't on it.

Third ugliest. They ranked me third ugliest! God, who thinks they have the right to call me ugly or not?! This pisses me off!

I ripped both lists off from under their thumbtacks. Who gives a shit about this crap? I tear them apart and slip them in the recycling. People stare and whisper, but I don't care.

"You okay, Helga?" asks Phoebe, my best friend since elementary school. She's half Japanese American half European American. She hates the term Asian American, at least when used to describe herself and not the collective Asian American community. She says the term oversimplifies her Japanese heritage. Regardless, people can only tell she is mixed race when she says her last name, Heyerdahl. She looks like your stereotypical black hair, black eyes, five-foot-one-inch tall Asian American, and I love her like a sister.

"Just peachy, Phoebs." We stop by my locker.

"It's okay if you're not. It's understandable if you feel hurt by this."

"Phoebs, I'm fine." I lie. "Everyone knows those lists are made by stupid boys with nothing to do. No one gives a crap about them, and I certainly don't care either." A pair of heals click-clack along the tile floor.

"Gyah!" Rhonda bursts. Her best friend, Nadine, seems timid standing next to her. Rhonda looks around. "Where is she?"

"Who?" I ask.

"Lila Sawyer."

I look over Rhonda's shoulder and notice the coy but pretty Lila walking towards us. I point my chin towards her, and Rhonda turns. "You!" Rhonda seethes.

"Good morning, Rhonda." Lila says. "Good morning Nadine, Helga, and Phoebe. Were you looking for me?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" Rhonda yells.

"I am ever so sorry. I do not know what you are talking about."

"Why are you ranked first? Again! How can a country bumpkin be prettier than me?!"

Phoebe nudges at me. "What did you say about nobody caring?"

I chuckle at her joke.

"Rhonda," Nadine hesitates. "Calm down. People are staring."

"I won't calm down! This is insulting!"

Ah, the two sexiest sophomore girls duking it out. I'm pretty sure that's the premise of nearly every high school romcom, so seeing it in real life feels surreal.

If I had to choose who is sexier, I would pick Rhonda. She grew up to be very tall and thin and has the closest proportions to a model that I have ever seen. Her black pixie cut also makes her look very feminine in my humble opinion. If I had to guess why she's ranked below Lila, it's because Rhonda tries too hard. I never understood why she wore high heels when she's already five foot ten. Her hoop earrings almost touch her shoulders, and her eyeliner is so thick that it might as well be her eyeshadow. Rhonda claims it's what's "in style," but this seems like one of those trends that people will look back on and cringe.

Phoebe taps at my elbow. "We should go. This doesn't involve us."

"You go. I like the drama." She pouts but decides to stay.

Lila tilts her head like a confused puppy. "I'm sorry, Rhonda, but I ever so do not know what you mean."

I stifle a giggle. I like Lila. Haven't always, but that was back in fourth grade when I thought her innocence was hokey and my then crush, now boyfriend, had a crush on her. We have both matured since then. I am now dating my crush, and I have realized that Lila's innocence and sweetness is actually sincere.

Rhonda continues. "Don't act dumb. Why are you ranked number one sexiest girl in the sophomore class? How are you sexier than me!"

Lila blushes. It's cute how she gets sheepish over the word 'sexy.' "I am certain that I do not know what you mean. I just got to school and didn't see a list like that."

"Is it because you act all shy and innocent?" Rhonda leans into Lila forcing Lila to step back. "Your skin looks nice, but its obvious its caked in makeup."

"I don't wear makeup."

"And what's with this shabby outfit? Did you get all these clothes from Goodwill?"

"They're hand me downs."

"Or is it possible," Rhonda leans in to whisper into Lila's ear but makes sure everyone around can hear. "you've been sleeping around."

"Rhonda!" Nadine scolds.

I slip myself in between Lila and Rhonda and push Rhonda back. "Whoa, whoa there, Princess." I say to Rhonda.

"Move it, Ugly."

The hallway stills. "Do you really want to go there?" I ask.

"You don't scare me. I'm Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. My father –"

"Yeah, yeah. I know about your rich daddy. We've been classmates since pre-k. You didn't scare me then, and you don't scare me now. So, quit making a scene and let's forget about this misogynistic list."

Rhonda puts her hands on her hips. "I'm surprised you're not worried about this. Didn't your beloved boyfriend used to have a crush on Little Lila over here?"

Lila interrupts. "Oh, that was years ago. You can tell by looking at Arnold that he's crazy about Helga."

"Sure." Rhonda tilts her head. "And aren't Arnold and Lila in the exact same clubs?"

"No, they're not. They're just volunteer fanatics."

Lila interrupts. "Yeah, I'm not a part of any clubs. I just volunteer whenever I can."

Rhonda balls her fists and places them on her hips. "Still. You two sure do spend an awful lot of time together."

My fingers curl into a fist. Before I lose my temper and bring out Ol' Betsy, the bell rings.

Nadine pulls on Rhonda's arm. "Come on, Rhonda. Our first class is on the other side of campus."

"Shit. This conversation isn't over, Lila!" Rhonda yells before she sprints with Nadine to class.

Lila clasps my hands. "Helga, you know there isn't anything going on between me and Arnold, right? I am ever so certain that I would never."

"Don't worry, Little Miss Perfect. I know nothing's happening. Football Head wouldn't dare."

Although I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to. I wouldn't call Lila the sexiest girl in the sophomore class, but I would say she's one of the prettiest. Hell, beautiful even. She's not fat, but I would say she's curvy. A nice plump round butt and a solid pair of melons. Unlike me who has muscle thighs designed for basketball and a flat chest to go with it. Why is God so unfair?

It's not just her body. Her face is also pretty. She had freckles as a kid, but they've faded since then. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure my caterpillar unibrow is growing legs. Lila has red hair that she used to wear in braided pigtails but has recently let it down. It sits pasts her shoulder blades and shines in the sun as if she's a god damn angel. My blonde hair, on the other hand, feels dull and looks flat. Like Lila, I also used to wear pigtails as a kid, except that mine were unbraided and I wore a pink bow on top of my head. Now that I'm in high school, I usually let my hair down and have replaced my pink bow with a black beanie that has a pink pom-pom. My boyfriend gave it to me when we were in eighth grade. Isn't he sweet!

If Lila had any flaw, it's that she's a little short. She's around five foot three, while I'm about five foot eight. People usually compliment me on my height, but lately I have been feeling self-conscious since my boyfriend is an inch shorter than me. He's great, and we've been together for a long time, but I worry that my height might become a deal breaker for him. After all, we've been together for more than four years, but he hasn't told me he loves me.

Phoebe walks up to the both of us and grabs each of our hands. "Helga, Lila. I know we all need to get to class, but I wanted to tell yow two something before lunch."

"Did you and Gerald break up again?" I ask.

"It's because he wore a hanbok to my dad's birthday party."

Lila looks confused. "Isn't a hanbok Korean?"

"Exactly." Says Phoebe. "I need to go to AP Chemistry, but I'll see you two at lunch." She waves leaves me and Lila behind.

We both wave her goodbye. "Why does everyone feel the need to say 'AP' in front of their classes?" I ask.

"Helga, you're taking more AP courses than Phoebe, and she's predicted to be our valedictorian. I'm oh so certain that you should be prouder."

"But I'm only taking them because I heard you get to take less classes in college if you do well on the AP tests. If you look at my grades in my non-AP courses, you will know I have nothing to be proud of." I sling my bag over my shoulder. "My class is just around the corner, so I'm not in a rush. Where are you heading to?"

"The library. I have first period off, but I came in early to help Mrs. Hayes sort the returned books. I am ever so happy to help her when I can."

"Funny." I rub my chin. "Arnold also has first period off."

Lila stammers. "There's really nothing going on! I am oh so certain that Arnold just adores you." She protests.

"I'm just messing with you." I playfully hit her shoulder. "See you at lunch?"

"Bye, Helga." Lila waves as I jog to class.

I sigh and let the tension release from my chest. I felt phony after talking to Lila. Even though we're friends, it feels like we shouldn't be. Lila's sweet and pretty and nice, while I'm crude, ugly Helga Pataki. She's just like Arnold. In fact, why is he dating me? I am mean, troll-like Helga Pataki, and he's sweet and handsome and nice and amazing Arnold Shortman. What does he see in me?

Maybe he doesn't love me. Maybe that's why he hasn't said it. He'll soon realize how horrible and grotesque I am and break up with me, I know it.

I bite the inside of my mouth. I shouldn't think about that. It's those damn lists' fault. I don't know how, but it's definitely the lists fault! God, I feel so shitty.

I sit next to the captain of our basketball team and plop my bag down before the second bell rings.

A/N: What do you think? Too short? Too many grammar errors? Weird plot? Not enough Arnold? Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it! This story swaps POVs, so we'll see Arnold's perspective in the next chapter. Bye!