Kaen literally gives me life, but 無感情 Mukanjyou has also been a pretty big mood™ for 2020

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can someone tell me how I used to picture,

the scenes I used to dream of?

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Absolute, corrupting power sifts between his bones and veins, blooms beneath his beating heart, burns between his lips. The moon awakens behind him, one eye and nine tomoe, and beneath the sky like a haunting wraith lies the silhouette of the man who dared to attempt to destroy him. Rage and regret storm inside him; drifts into something sorrowful—something he wishes he could take back.

A hand rests on his head, and he careens into the touch, reaching for the warmth that lies beneath his skin—the warmth that feels like home.

Naruto opened his eyes slowly, feeling heavy and lost. Sadness clung to the edges of his vision, where his dreams wash away with the morning light. He lay there for some time, wondering why his eyes burned with tears and why his heart was filled with so much regret. He was worried if he sat here any longer, it would consume him.

The moment he attempted movement he wished he hadn't; he was clearly ailing from an injured leg, and there was a wound across his torso that felt half-healed.

The blonde hissed in pain, grimacing at the look of his leg and hobbling over to his closet to fish around for his bandages. At some point during the night Kyuubi had wrenched his closet apart and the doors hung limp on the hinges, battered and broken. His orange jumpsuits were right where they were the last time he had seen them, burned to ashes on the carpet; Naruto took a moment to mourn their loss, still stupidly saddened by their bitter end. This was quickly replaced with shock when he eyed their replacement: crisp, bone-white ANBU armor hanging in their stead.

He balked, gaping. He had an ANBU uniform in his closet. Multiple, actually. How was this his life?

His eyes shifted around the dim room, catching upon the fox mask on his bedside table.

With great wonder, he slowly hobbled over to eye the mask with awe and fascination. It was light in his hands, smooth alabaster planes of porcelain marred only by the slits for eyes. The ends curled up into fox ears, dipped in red. The only color on the white skin was a blood red design covering the bottom half of the mask; upon further inspection, it almost looked like a clawed hand grasping the mouth.

Interesting choice of design, Naruto thought, turning it over in his hands. It certainly was… an alarming sight.

Naruto snorted. But Kyuubi would find that amusing, wouldn't he?

Naruto set the mask down with a frown. All his life had he wanted to be strong, to protect his friends, to be someone.

He wondered if this proved that he could; or if it just proved that he could make a deal with the devil.

In a lot of ways, Naruto couldn't connect with the life he'd lived just a few weeks ago; at one point, he could've recited his predictable routine hour by hour. He'd gotten complacent in that predictable reality. Lulled into a sense of security he no longer had. He woke up, trained with his team, argued with Sasuke and battled for Sakura's attention, gorged on ramen. Rinse and repeat.

He couldn't even remember what he'd done after he'd left the team meeting—a patchwork of memories, distant and vague, came to him through his scintillating thoughts. His claws, wrenching apart the human body; blood was getting everywhere, over his face and down his elbows, splattering against his uniform. He remembered his flicker of annoyance at that, at his irritation with the swords ANBU provided—his irritation in general. With the body he was in, with his human team, with the humans who were supposed to be his prey.

Naruto shook his head. Those weren't his thoughts. …They couldn't be. He'd never think like that.

The blonde blinked out of his reverie, looking down at his leg. He was bleeding all over the carpet. He scowled; damn it, that shit never came out.

He spent the better part of the morning attempting to put his mediocre medical and cleaning knowledge to good use; failing and mostly getting a whole lot of bandages in a whole lot of strange places, and finally wadded the whole thing up, tossed it in the trash, and called it a day. He'd heal regardless anyhow. He debated the merits of going to his team's meeting, before ultimately deciding against it. He doubted his body would even cooperate long enough to get him over there.

At first he'd thought this all a great novelty; not everyone lived as both a Genin and as a clandestine operative that was quickly becoming one of the most feared ANBU in Konoha's ranks.

But lately, every glimpse he caught of himself in the mirror, every time he used his newfound chakra control or lightning reflexes; he was constantly reminded that none of this actually had anything to do with him at all.

It was a sobering thought.

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Naruto shifted his weight, took a breath, and tried to call upon the fox once again.

No answer.

To be quite candid; this whole metamorphous confused even him. They shared the same body—and in essence, the same mindscape, but Kyuubi could feel as if he was halfway across the world with the distance between them. But how could that be? Hell, they were practically, for all intents and purposes, the same person.

He shook his head, mood successfully dampened, and decided that the only course of action appropriate would be to head over to Ichiraku's and wait it out.

By the time he reached the gates the ANBU he was assigned with were already there—and he was no closer to contact with Kyuubi than he had been an hour ago.

He recognized one of the indistinct figures as Uzuki Yugao, a woman he seemed to frequently work with, long aubergine hair spilling over one shoulder, an impenetrable bone cat mask covering her face. Even as she did nothing but laze against the side of a tree, she effectively cowed all the Chunin on guard duty. Or maybe they were just flustered at her presence; it was difficult to tell. And she was alarmingly beautiful.

Not too far from her was another ANBU he recognized—although not to the extent of Yugao. But his horrible posture and falcon mask looked vaguely familiar. From his mask protrude a cigarette, and he seemed to forlornly contemplate the sky, head tilted up as he squatted in the shade of a tree. For some reason, Naruto was inclined to believe his name was 'Towa', although that was very likely just a codename. As far as he knew Yugao and his ANBU captain were not classified, but the other two definitely were.

The other unknown character, dubbed 'Koga', was so effective at hiding in the shadows Naruto didn't even notice him until he was all but standing in front of the tree. The man's form was barely visible in the dappled lighting beneath the leaves. He seemed to blend in with no apparent effort at all.

He was a bundle of nerves as he moved to stand with them, feeling far more out of place with them than he had with the children on the playground that never included him in their games. It was infinitely more intimidating to be gathered around Konoha's finest shinobi than it was to be around small children with wary parents. The children—and the parents—didn't carry dozens of weapons on their person and know of at least three dozen ways to kill him without them.

These were the elite; they took missions Naruto could only dream of on dreary academy days as he was bored out of his skull. And here he was, standing before them as if he was one of them.

Him. Just Naruto. Naruto, who had passed the Genin test by the skin of his teeth and a heaping spoonful of luck.

Yeah. As much as he wanted to say he was prepared for this, it was very apparent he was not ready for this. As much as he hated being a Genin and protested loudly that he was better than that, beneath all his blustery arrogance he knew he was not strong enough to be anything else.

Captain Yamato strode out of a whorl of smoke, not even bothering to beckon the other ANBU; they straightened up and followed him without command.

He only paused when he noticed Naruto didn't do the same, turning around with some hint of displeasure.

"Kyuubi?" He lazily called to him. Naruto wondered how he got away with using that tone on Kyuubi. The fox didn't strike him as the kind of creature who took well to even the slightest of offense.

"Uh… Hi." He began timidly, as he shuffled closer and reached hearing range. "I'm not…I'm not Kyuubi."

Yamato tilted his head, and the other ANBU jolted visibly at the statement. "Naruto?" He asked, slowly, confused.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, yeah. Sorry." He didn't know what he was apologizing for, precisely, but it seemed the right thing to do. "I—Um, I tried to wake him up? I have no idea what's wrong though; he won't respond at all."

Yamato frowned. "That is… strange indeed," And then, with a turnabout face, "But this is not your fault, no need to apologize."

Naruto bit his lip, fortunate to have a mask to hide the movement. The last thing he wanted to do was look as intimidated as he felt.

Meanwhile, the ANBU behind their captain eyed their newest recruit in a new light. Let it not be said that Kyuubi was an incapable shinobi; if anything, it was disturbing how well the demon slid into the role, manipulating chakra as if it was an extension of himself, so deft and quick with the blade that even Captain Yamato had to praise him. He did not kill unless prompted—but never were they particularly merciful deaths. He'd made Naruto something of a reputation; already, the Konoha ANBU with the fox mask had a page in the Bingo book, well earned from butchering a team from Kumo with his bare hands.

It was not a matter of opinion to say that Kyuubi was the reason that Team Shiroi was still alive.

Yet, seeing the opposite side of the beast... was disconcerting. This was the true face of the demon who so ruthlessly slayed his enemies—just a boy, with big, bright eyes, swimming wide and grave in their sockets. Though it was easy to brush off Kyuubi's short height and small stature when the demon never once acknowledged it as a setback, seeing Naruto in the same body made for a striking comparison—as if somehow, all these qualities which Kyuubi often used to his advantage were once again detrimental.

The captain gave a worried glance to world outside the gates, scanning the forest. "We'll have to move." He sighed, resigned. "We won't make it to the rendezvous coordinates on time if we spare even a moment."

He motioned for the team to follow, but his attention was focused on Naruto. "I'm sorry; you'll have to come with us. It's nothing too dangerous though." He assured. "It's just a retrieval mission. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"…Right." Naruto agreed, shakily.

And then they shot off into the forest.

Naruto had never traveled this fast before, though he'd seen many an ANBU squad through his window at night, leaping across the village in quick, powerful strides. His body was accustomed to it, however, effortlessly charging through the bramble and wood, keeping pace with his fellow ANBU. His eyes darted swiftly across the speeding landscape; he felt more vulnerable than ever.

Though he'd never seen the fox fight before, from the aftermath and the fragments that drifted in his memories between waking and dreaming, he imagined him to be as efficient as he was unyielding. And from the way his ANBU counterparts looked at him—a combination of loathing and begrudging respect—he assumed that Kyuubi made for an excellent, if not savage shinobi.

He shuddered as they ran.

Kyuubi probably knew how to watch the subtle movements in the forestry, knew what parts of the human body caused the fastest death; and which caused the most painful. How to split a trachea clean in two and how to cut his claws through the ribcage and to the heart—under and up, right through the lung—

His heart sped quicker, and he called out to the fox once again.

He had about as much luck as he had the last thirty times.

After what seemed to him like hours, they descended into a sun-speckled clearing, the canopy so thick sunbeams shone through like little pinpricks of light. The other ANBU dropped from tree limbs easily; Naruto stumbled down and almost landed face first into the dirt. Fortunately, no one was paying undue attention to him—most of their attention diverted to what was undoubtedly supposed to be their second squadron, splayed out lifelessly on the ground.

The other ANBU had immediately unsheathed their weapons, readying into defense.

"Ambush." Yugao hissed to their captain. "They knew we were coming."

"How?" Koga asked.

"How do you think, Ookami?" The falcon-masked one spat furiously, losing patience. "A spy."

"Fuck Taka, no shit." Koga growled. "But who?"

"Save the arguments for later." Yamato interrupted, shifting his mask, blank eyes peering into the distance.

"Taichou, they're coming closer." Yugao informed. Naruto felt his pulse quicken. "They know we're here."

He closed his eyes, screaming inwardly as loud as he could to something along the lines of, "Wake up you fucking fox I'm about to die because I don't know jack shit of what I'm doing and we're all going to end up smudges of rotting skin on the forest floor if you don't wake your ass up and do something because they'll be here any minute and I'm not ready for this I can't do anything I'm just a Genin (just a Gennin, just a Genin)—

And Iwa ANBU tore through the forestry, ripping apart wood that sheltered the Konoha black ops and leaves and limbs fluttered to the ground like shattered glass and Naruto had never been so scared in his life, not even when the villagers had tried to kill him when he was six, or when he couldn't make a Bunshin, or when Mizuki crept closer to him—

His eyes opened, bloodshot and dark like the sunset when the sun burned bright enough to die the stars claret red, the wrathful eyes from his dreams, where the world swam in black and the mountains were made from corpses and the human race was nothing but the speck on his giant paw and he wrenched the sky open with his screams and broke the earth with his teeth.

But the only thing he felt was relief, and everything went black.

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He gasped, and pulled himself out from the water his face was in.

He wiped it off of his face hurriedly, the water felt slippery and heavy, as he rubbed it out of his eyes and it became sticky in his hair.

Naruto paused, opening his eyes.

Not water, but blood.

He grimaced, pulling himself out of the repugnant red puddle and surveyed the area. He was kneeling in a shallow ocean of russet blood, hands wrist-deep into the fluid and he stood up quickly, trying to regain his balance as his countenance was lost completely. Towa lazed about some ways in front of him, shifting his gear, a few cuts but otherwise uninjured. Yugao was checking the fallen Konoha ANBU for pulses, while Yamato retrieved the scrolls they were supposed to give to them.

Koga seemed to literally appear from the shadows and paused when he noticed Naruto's head up. That kind of hesitation seemed anomalous— he couldn't possibly be afraid of Naruto, could he?

Naruto looked down at himself, covered in someone else's blood (with his nose, he could tell that it was a mixture of most of the dead Iwa-nin on the forest floor, and none of it was his), and about two heads smaller than anyone else here.

"What happened?" He rubbed the back of his head, where the mask's string met his hair in a vexatious itch.

"Well, you killed them." Koga replied flatly, walking forward to roll over a dead man. Naruto saw the gash that ran from his chest to his stomach in four jagged lines. Somehow, he recognized this pattern as a quick—but ultimately painful—death.

"Kyuubi killed them." Yugao corrected quickly.

Towa just shook his head. "Man, I thought Konoha was done with child killers. You'd think they'd learn after Itachi— if only Komachi saw this. She'd say he was way too innocent and send him back to the Academy."

"Innocent? Really? Are you remembering how that story went down?" Koga scoffed, inspecting the other bodies that apparently Naruto had killed.

"And are you forgetting who trained you?" Yugao added, with an unimpressed look in Towa's direction.

Despite wearing a mask, Naruto could somehow tell the man was sheepish. "Ah…"

"Kakashi is different," Koga countered, piquing Naruto's interest. Kakashi-sensei? They were talking about Kakashi-sensei? But how did they know him? "First off, he didn't go batshit crazy and kill off his whole family."

Naruto blinked. Hold on, who killed what family now? What were they talking about?

"How many times do I have to remind you not to use people's real names?" Yugao hissed.

Towa rolled his eyes. "As if that isn't common knowledge." He complained.

All the same the damage was done— at least to Naruto. ANBU were infamously clandestine by nature, usually making it impossible to tell who was and who wasn't part of the task force from outside the organization. And even then, there were a lot of operatives who were still classified that remained a secret even to those part of ANBU. But there were also shinobi, like Yugao or his captain, Yamato, who were so infamous their identities were well-known and their heads were worth a lot in the bingo book.

And Kakashi-sensei too, apparently.

It sort of felt like he'd tumbled down a rabbit hole into a completely different world— a world full of assassinations and codenames and a life on the knife's edge of death. It was both thrilling and disconcerting, and he still didn't know how to feel about it.

Did it really matter either way, though? Kyuubi was the ANBU operative, not him. He was just Naruto.

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In some ways, Kakashi thought it was inevitable.

Whatever uneasy coexistence tied Naruto and Kyuubi together, it wasn't the sort of thing the Jounin could figure out without being some sort of sealing master or one of the two halves himself. Logically the seal shouldn't have broken at all, and yet the fact remained that it had. He still didn't know what to make of that. Considering the circumstances of his death, maybe it was possible Minato had made a mistake? Of course, it was just as possible that the demon fox had simply found a way to overcome it.

But if so, that did not explain why the fox was still here, Konoha was still standing, and for all intent purposes he was playing nice with the Konoha ANBU. Snide remarks and general berating of their entire existence notwithstanding.

Kakashi sighed—this was a problem to consider another day. As of now, he was more preoccupied with the idea of his little student finding himself on the losing end of an ambush.

Where had Kyuubi been the entire time before then? And why had he only chosen to act at the very last second? He supposed it was, indeed, inevitable and bound to happen at some point.

Unfortunately, he did not have the answers. And to that end, neither did Yamato.

"He handled himself very well," Yamato offered, after a beat.

Kakashi hummed, poking fruitlessly at his barbeque. Going out for drinks and food had fallen to the wayside when Yamato had been promoted and Kakashi had been, he supposed technically demoted into a Jounin-sensei. Their schedules were suddenly so ill-aligned that it never made any sense to. He wondered what Yamato would think when he called him out of the blue like this, before reconsidering and realizing his motives would be plain as day, and quite honestly he didn't care if they were.

"I'm sure he did." Naruto had two modes; loud, brash, determined and brave, or sullen, scared, miserable and lonely.

Out of the usual two, one of those was a recent development. It didn't take a psychiatrist to realize one was a defense mechanism, brought on by the other. Naruto had spent most of his life as the latter, only donning his persona as the former when it became clear he wouldn't be able to survive being the way he was. That wasn't to say he hadn't always been so irrationally optimistic—that had certainly been there the whole time—but up until recently Naruto had no one to share kindness to, or anything to be particularly optimistic about.

"You should go and see him." Yamato said, after a while. "I'm sure he'd like that."

"I'll see him tomorrow." Kakashi hedged, evasively. This was true, but also, despite his considerable concern for the blonde he had no idea how to go about showing it.

Yamato, or Tenzou as he had always known him, gave him a knowing, sympathetic look over his sake cup.

They both knew what it was like to grow up too fast, to be thrust into ANBU before either of them really even knew what they were getting into, to be used by the scheming adults around you who capitalized on your youth and naivety and the reality that you had no one to look after you. Tenzou in particular had been easy pickings for the likes of Orochimaru and Danzou; a stunning prodigy who was willing to do anything to belong. Kakashi couldn't exactly say he was much better, despite having Minato to look out for him after his father's death. They were full grown adults now, and the unimaginable pain and uncertainty had long since washed away with the acceptance of time, but at that age, and that period of his life, Kakashi hadn't been mature enough to accept help when he needed it — a bitter lesson he refused to see Naruto have to learn the hard way.

The similarities between their situations, and the situations of all the young ninja tapped for ANBU, made him feel a sense of solidarity towards them all. It wasn't easy to come out of there alive, let alone still right in the head, especially when starting that early.

He didn't want to see Naruto go down the same path as him, but entirely because of the path he went down, he didn't know how to reach out to him.

That being said, he refused to see Naruto end up like a very similar, very kind-hearted subordinate of his, that he had failed because he hadn't been a better influence on him. But thinking of Itachi always left him maudlin and empty-handed, so he buried those thoughts.

"I'll check up on him tonight," he decided, after his musings had gone on long enough.

Yamato smiled. "Good."

Kakashi just gave him an unamused look; somehow, he felt as if he'd just been played.

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Well, he when he said 'check up' he hadn't exactly specified what he meant by that. He decided just a quick pass-through from the window would suffice, just long enough to confirm that he was safe and unharmed and soothe his conscious.

The window to his bedroom was slightly ajar— unsurprising, giving the mild temperature. Not very smart for a ninja though, but these sort of thoughtless civilian actions would be bred out of him soon enough. He'll just close and lock it on his way out.

He peeked in, satisfied to see Naruto's sleeping form in the dim moonlight. He sat on the ledge, counting the beats of his breathing from the rise and fall of his shoulders. It was reassuring to watch the consistent movement, but if Kakashi wasn't so focused on his own relief he would have noticed that the movement was almost too consistent.

The sleeping blonde rolled over to face him; glowing crimson eyes observed him in silence, glinting in the moonlight. "Ah, so you are worrying." The fox drawled in greeting.

Kakashi just shrugged. "I have reason to this time, don't you think?"

"How so?"

"Naruto could have easily died this time, without you to protect him." Kakashi pointed out, his tone not necessarily accusatory.

Kyuubi narrowed his eyes. "Rest assured I take the safety of my host extremely seriously. He was in no real danger."

Kakashi didn't know what to believe. He had a feeling anything that came out of the fox's mouth needed to be taken with a grain of salt. All the same, the youkai's logic made sense. But it wouldn't surprise him in the least to know Kyuubi had something up his sleeve.

"I see." His one visible eye crinkled with a smile. "Well, it's good to see you've returned unharmed and in good health. I suppose that's more than enough reassurance for me."

"Wonderful," the fox returned sarcastically. Once again, Kakashi was so surprised that the youkai was even capable of it. "If that's all then, this body needs an irritating amount of sleep, so on the subject of good health, you are currently hindering it."

"Not a very friendly person, are you?" Kakashi noted mildly, pushing back from the ledge.

The deadpan look he got in response was telling enough. Still, with a sloppy two-fingered salute he dove off the windowsill and hopped onto a nearby roof, deciding the fox was probably right and disturbing him any longer would be imprudent.

Besides, the encounter had left him with a lot to ponder on. This was the second time he'd spoken to the youkai instead of Naruto, and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

The fox was just… so curious. Not what Kakashi had expected at all. Not the mindless beast he was painted as— not even particularly rude or mean, either. If Kakashi had to pick a personality to go with the youkai from the history books, he would have thought it would be angry and volatile. From what Tenzou had told him, and from what he'd seen of the fox himself, Kyuubi didn't seem to be either of those. He was quite a mysterious character, truth be told.

That was probably more alarming, in all honesty.

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Naruto yawned blearily, impressed with himself for actually managing to make it to Team Seven's red bridge on time. Sakura wasn't even here yet, and Naruto would have been triumphant that he'd beaten her at any other time.

Right now though, his head was swimming with so many other things Sakura was no longer even remotely on his mind. She usually was, in some capacity, but when he thought back on these past few days he couldn't recall a single time he'd thought about her. His thoughts had been wholly besieged by his new life as a black-ops and the alter-ego to a prophetic monster, and everything else had fallen to the wayside.

He ended up lightly dozing on the wide railing of the bridge, finding himself far sleepier than he had anticipated. Understandable, since he was pushing his body harder than he ever had before. Even his most rigorous training sessions couldn't compare to the amount of stress a single ANBU mission caused. And this last mission in particular had been exceptionally stressful.

But thinking about his last mission just made him think about his teammates, which in turn made him think about his sensei. Was Kakashi-sensei really in ANBU too? It seemed both entirely bewildering and yet completely logical. He was just having a hard time wrapping his mind around the idea of his lazy sensei being a black-ops. Well, Kakashi was always preaching about 'looking underneath the underneath'; it wouldn't be surprising to hear that statement applied to him as well.

"Wow, Naruto-kun, you're actually earlier than me today!" Sakura exclaimed in surprise, as she plodded up next to him. Then she smirked, as her look turned sly; "I don't know if it really counts though, considering you're still asleep."

"I'm just dozing," Naruto insisted, even as his thoughts flickered away from him and he felt himself drift off.

Sakura just rolled her eyes. "Right."

Fortunately she didn't press the issue, although she did lament on the ineffective reality of arriving early for a sensei that arrived hours late.

Kakashi's abysmal timing actually worked to his favor today, giving him a few more hours to doze off. By the time Kakashi actually arrived at the meeting place Naruto was already fast asleep.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was surprised to find it was almost sundown.

He sat up slowly, disoriented and left with a vague headache. He near jolted right off the bridge when he realized Kakashi was right next to him, leaning against the railing as he perused through his porn.

"K— Kakashi-sensei!" He exclaimed, surprised. "When did you get here?"

Kakashi made a show of looking at his watch. "Hmm, oh, maybe about five hours ago or so?"

"Five hours— " Naruto repeated, bewildered. "What time is it?"

"It's eighteen-hundred, give or take a few minutes." He replied, with a shrug.

Naruto just stared at him, open-mouthed. "Seriously? Why didn't you wake me up? Where're Sasuke and Sakura-chan?"

At this, Kakashi dropped the pretense of reading entirely, tucking his book back into his breast pocket. "I sent them off to do some chakra training exercises— Sasuke was, predictably, quite livid to see your advanced water walking technique."

"And as for why I didn't wake you up," His sensei continued, before he could protest further, "it was pretty obvious you needed the rest. When was the last time you slept?"

Naruto floundered in silence, realizing he didn't actually know.

Kakashi sighed. He had feared this would be the case. Unfortunately he couldn't stop by Naruto's place every night to check up on the kid, what with his other Jounin duties. But he had at least hoped that Naruto— or rather, Kyuubi— would have the sense not to run himself into the ground. That being said it was all too easy to do so when you're in ANBU, he knew from experience. Without anyone to hold you back, sliding down that slope of manic exhaustion was almost inevitable.

He wasn't entirely sure who to blame in this instance, but it certainly wasn't the blonde in front of him. Naruto didn't ask to be put on ANBU, and he didn't ask for this grueling mission schedule either. When he'd recommended Team Shiroi— formerly known as Team Ro— he'd known they were the Hokage's elite team. They were the only team the Hokage trusted to impeccably carry out his high priority missions, and that usually made them in extremely high demand. It wasn't Team Shiroi's fault for being so damn good at their job, just as it wasn't the Hokage's fault that there were so many sensitive matters he needed them for. He wasn't even sure if it was Kyuubi's fault either. The last time they spoke, he had seemed extremely cognizant of Naruto's age and what such a taxing schedule would do to a growing boy, oddly enough.

It was still somewhat strange to think he'd held a conversation with the infamous youkai at all.

"You don't remember, huh?" Kakashi let out a long capitulation.

Naruto fidgeted nervously under his sensei's gaze, picking at a peeling piece of wood on the railing. "I slept a bit last night," he defended, meekly. "But we got back really late, so…"

"I'm not blaming you, Naruto." His sensei assured him, gently. "I'm just pointing out that maintaining an adequate level of sleep is essential in your situation, and quite frankly you don't really need chakra exercises anymore."

Naruto could see his point. "Yeah, you're right sensei." As always.

Then he turned a curious eye to the man in question. He recalled what he'd heard on one of his previous missions, wondering if it was true or not. It was so impossible to tell. Was Kakashi-sensei really one of those ruthless killers? Really? His lazy, porn-reading sensei who always had a poor excuse in hand and an abysmal sense of humor?

He decided he may as well just ask, "Ne, Kakashi-sensei,"

"Hm?" The man answered vaguely, distracted once more by his porn. Naruto squinted. Or was he? What if it was all a ruse? What if everything about Kakashi-sensei was a ruse?

"Were you ever in ANBU?"

That effectively gave the man pause. He lowered the book slightly. "What makes you think that?" His tone is mild and from what Naruto can see of his expression it's as amiable as usual, but this time Naruto doesn't let it fool him.

"You seem to know a lot about it," Naruto commented. And then, with a shrug. "I've heard your name a couple times, too."

Well, that was no real surprise. And it wasn't as if Kakashi was intending to keep it a secret from the blonde, or anything. And his identity was more or less well known. Kakashi had a long and illustrious shinobi career— that people were so familiar with it was pretty par for the course. Still, he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about Naruto knowing all that. As far as Naruto— and the rest of Team Seven— was concerned, Kakashi-sensei was a porn-reading, ultra-lazy, chronically tardy sensei who occasionally did cool things. He kind of enjoyed playing that role, to be honest. But he knew it wasn't meant to last; especially in Naruto's case, where two worlds were colliding.

"Yes, I was. For a long time, actually." He answered, simply.

Naruto hadn't expected such a direct response. He blinked. "...Really?" He didn't know why he was finding it so hard to believe, now that Kakashi-sensei had confirmed it.

"I guess it would come to a surprise for someone your age, but at this point most shinobi are aware of my involvement in some form." He remarked, casually. "I was squad leader to Tenzou, Yugao, Towa and Koga at some point— although not all at once."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "Wait so you, like— trained all of them?"

That was crazy. Those four were the most incredible shinobi Naruto had ever seen in his life and Kakashi-sensei trained them? No wonder he never took any Genin teams! He probably thought they were all too awful to train in comparison.

"You didn't think I'd just leave you out to dry, did you?" Kakashi returned, with amusement.

"Huh?" Naruto tilted his head, confused.

"I recommended Hokage-sama to put you on that team specifically. I thought they would be the best option for you." He explained. And then, with a seriousness he usually didn't see from his porn reading sensei; "I know they're not the easiest team to be on, especially since they are the most favored team by the Hokage. And I knew it would be an even more difficult adjustment into ANBU for you than a different team. Their members are some of the most infamous shinobi to rise through the ranks since the Third Shinobi War, so they don't have the same cover of anonymity that most teams do. But I recommended them because I think you can handle it— but not at the behest of your health."

Naruto blinked furiously, not sure what to say. "I…"

"I'm not trying to lecture you, Naruto." Kakashi-sensei continued. "Rather, just consider it advice from someone who's been in this situation. I wasn't much older than you when I joined ANBU, but even then those few scant years of growth and experience put me in a better position than you are. There's a reason why ANBU don't recruit before the age of thirteen."

"They don't?" Naruto reeled back, surprised.

"You're a very special exception." Kakashi-sensei answered, amused. Not anymore, anyway, he also neglected to add. "But like I said, you're still growing. It's easy to push yourself too hard, holding yourself to the standard of your adult teammates."

Naruto frowned, considering his words. "But, sensei," he began, thoughtfully, "I'm not the one in ANBU y'know. That's Kyuubi."

Kakashi-sensei's expression was difficult to read. It always was, but considerably more so in this moment. Naruto almost wanted to say he looked… sad? Or resigned? Or maybe even exhausted?

"Unfortunately, I don't think that distinction will apply for much longer."

Naruto tilted his head. "What do you mean, sensei?"

But Kakashi-sensei just shook his head. "I just think you're forgetting that it's still your body, and you're going to need to remember to take a break every once in a while."

That wasn't untrue, but for some reason Naruto thought he was evading the real answer.

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.

.

Tatsuji had been working secretively to give Koharu and Homura information on Amegakure for years now, and yet, he had never seen such a peculiar sight as this.

He had heard rumors about Yamato, considered by many to be one of the greatest ANBU captains of all time, and the mismatched team of ANBU that were under his command. Team Ro was infamous during his time, even though the majority of the members were able to operate under the cover of anonymity back then. That was at the height of the post-war attrition, and the renamed Team Shiroi had some bingo book shinobi within it now that were simply too well-known to hide under the cover of anonymity.

Case in point was Uzuki Yugao; perfect velvety hair, silky smooth and the color of orchids— not one strand out of place, even as she flipped out of the trees with her teammates. She was probably just as famous as her captain was; both beautiful and dangerous.

Squatting next to her was a man identified as Towa, adjusting his bird mask, dark grey hair tied low at the neck as it fell off his shoulder. He'd heard rumors about that man, too—that there was a reason no one, not even his fellow ANBU team members, knew his real name. That he was so unidentifiable that he could sit easily on the roster of such a famous team and still no one knew his real name.

Koga, he had met once before and was very sure belonged to another ANBU squadron, and must be a replacement for someone else. His name as well was unverified. And if Konoha wanted it to remain that way, he was most likely a temp.

And the last, unnamed and hiding behind a fox mask (interesting choice of animal, and he was fairly sure they had fallen out of style after the Kyuubi's attack) with lemon colored hair that fell over his face and tan skin. He couldn't be much older then a pre-teen, and reminded Tatsuji sorely of Itachi. And everyone knew exactly how that predicament went down. Surely Konoha had learned their lesson in recruiting children of such a young age?

The boy looked oddly eerie, standing beneath the wan, wintry spill of the moon, backdropped against Konoha's infamous killers. He didn't seem out of place in the slightest. Tatsuji didn't want to look at him—something instinctual compelling him not to.

He handed the scroll to Yamato, forcing his gaze away from the blonde.

"This is to be taken directly to the Hokage's assistants." He said with finality.

Captain Yamato nodded once, not saying a word as he beckoned with his hand to the other ANBU to leap back into the trees, making their visit as swift as possible. The blond turned back at first, piercing him through the gaping holes of his eyes before joining them.

The ANBU team took off like a flight of birds embarking to the south, quick and smooth, but wary of the length of their journey and stamina.

Oddly, it was Kyuubi who spoke. "He reeks of distrust."

While Yamato had never known that it was possible to smell emotions, he wouldn't put it past a vengeful demon king to be able to do so. "Why do you say that?" He asked, partially humoring the demon.

The demon sneered and didn't answer.

Obviously Kyuubi didn't take well to being treated like a child, and must have noticed the bemusement in his Captain's voice. Or perhaps, he had smelt it on him? Yamato chuckled again.

"Give the scroll to the Hokage." Was all he said, avoiding Yamato's words entirely.

Yugao and Towa sent him looks, as they dodged through the forestry.

"And we should listen to you, because…?" Koga drawled, pointedly.

Despite the mask, Kyuubi's disdain and irritation was palpable. "I never said you had to." He retorted plainly, after a beat.

Humans, he mentally digressed, such a waste.

"But those elder mortals," Kyuubi sniffed the air distastefully, as if he was talking about foot fungus and not the village's most esteemed elderly. "They are ruthless. They believe differently to your idolized Hokage."

"Doesn't take smelling emotions to know that." Towa mirthlessly laughed under his breath.

"You're saying you think he gave us explicit orders to bypass the Hokage for a reason?" Yamato ignored his subordinate.

"Perhaps." The demon's tone was even, and he said nothing else for the duration of the run.

The team split as they entered the gates. Yamato penned down the mission scroll as he entered Konoha.

"Get some rest." He called to his team, but was making a special point to Kyuubi. He knew it must be difficult for Naruto to cope with an uncooperative body due to the excessive amounts of strain it was put under daily. He might speak to Kakashi again, about keeping better tabs on his health. He was looking thinner than usual.

As he walked up the stairs to Sartuobi's office, he hoped that young Naruto was dealing with the pressure well, for there weren't many people his age that could.

"Hokage-sama." He bowed formally to the village leader, who waved at him in response.

"And how was he?"

Hiruzen asked for a specific report on Kyuubi's behavior daily, so Yamato was well prepared for the question. He cleared his throat. "He learns remarkably fast. Not just human jutsu, but also mannerisms and speech patterns. A week ago he couldn't understand sarcasm— or at least not much of it, but he seems to have an…impressive grasp on it now." He didn't think it was imperative to inform the Hokage of the ridiculous amounts his subordinates were short-handed by verbal irony.

"Does he get along well?" The Hokage leaned closer, concernedly.

Yamato hedged. "I'm sure if he wanted, he could easily play nice. But I'd suspect anything of the sort to be foul play."

"As I'd think as well." The Sandaime nodded, closing his eyes.

He was silent, as he blew his pipe again.

"The council wants an intimate report on his every move. I had first conjectured this to be an extensive concern over the mental stability of a demon, as I'm sure you know it isn't uncommon at all for village's to use their Jinchuuriki as weapons. However, he is not a Jinchuuriki to be molded, but a demon with a mind of its own, something much more powerful than a simple, rampant, brainless fool. Since Kyuubi is a fully sentient being, this obviously is another matter entirely. The council, perhaps, is unaware of this fact, but Utatane and Mikotado wouldn't be fooled. They surely must have realized the crucial difference between Naruto-kun and other Jinchuuriki."

"You don't suppose it's a contrivance for any upcoming wars?" Yamato frowned beneath the mask. "As a weapon? He's much too young."

"The young are malleable." The Hokage sighed. "Kyuubi surfacing is almost appreciated in these circumstances. And at any rate, isn't that what he already is?"

Tenzou wasn't entirely sure how to respond. No answer seemed to do the subject justice. The silence between them was ringing and absolute, as if in solemn salute for the boy who was drowning in a bureaucratic mess he had no business being caught in the middle of.

"The council has already used the broken seal as a ploy to use the boy for their own purposes, which also benefits Konoha." Yamato contemplated. "While for Naruto-kun, it has the opposite effect."

The ANBU captain locked eyes with the Hokage. "He isn't fairing well; I'm often reminded of a boy lost at sea, his head barely above water."

"Thank you for your report, Yamato."

The captain only bowed in response.

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ねぇ、どう描いてたんだろう？

どの景色を見ても

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無感情 Mukanjyou (Feelingless/Emotionless): サバプロ (Sabapuro / Survive Said the Prophet): Album, Inside Your Head: Sony Music Entertainment (Japan) Inc. (on behalf of ℗ 2020 Sony Music Labels Inc.); Muserk Rights Management, and 1 Music Rights Societies