SUMMARY: Steve refuses to get involve in the latest case for AC-12, and the reason has everything to do with a dark incident in his past.

A/N: Nope. Still no 'Cockrotoa'. Sorry, guys. The ending is still wrong. Anyway, this LOD story takes place after Season 5. Enjoy.

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It was almost 6.00 in the evening. Most of the AC-12 workforce had already left for the day, except for several hardworking officers who were still busy clacking away at their computers.

Superintendent Ted Hastings went to stand at the doorway to his office.

"Kate. Steven," he called out, getting the attention of his two most trusted officers. Beckoning for them both to come over, Hastings then walked back to sit behind his desk. His face stayed impassive as DI Kate Fleming and DS Steve Arnott entered the room to stand before him.

"Sir."

"How's the report on the Bagley case going?" Hastings asked as preamble.

"Almost done, sir," Kate replied, smirking at his partner, "I'm running through it again for the third time, in case Steve has misspelled the word 'definately'."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Come on. I only did it once. Can you just lay it off already?"

Despite it all, Hastings chuckled. And then he got straight to business. "Look, I just received another case file."

He picked up a brown folder on his desk and handed it over to Kate. "This came from Kingsgate Station."

"DCI Jacob Ashton," Kate read aloud, as she shared the document with Steve. "From his record here, he seems to be a highly dedicated police officer. Several commendations, policeman of the year twice in a row."

"Exactly. Seems to be," the gaffer responded. "From the folder, you can also see that he has just bought a property not far from where he works. A three storey cottage that he acquired at just two hundred and fifty thousand pounds."

Steve's eyebrows rose. "That's quite a bargain for such a house in that area."

"Yep. Too good to be true, wouldn't you say?" Hastings said, a sly smile on his face. "The current market value for that type of house for that particular location is at least five hundred thousand pounds."

Steve and Kate exchanged meaningful glances. They instantly knew something was fishy with the whole deal.

"Who did he buy the house from?" Kate asked.

Hastings gave her another folder. "Ashton bought it through a real estate firm called Collins & Ramsey Properties, partly owned by Mr. Sebastian Collins."

Frowning, Steve took the folder from Kate's hand and quickly scanned through the papers. When he saw the photograph of a smiling man, Steve's face drained of all color.

Kate instantly noticed his strange reaction. "Steve? What is it?"

Steve swallowed several times before he quietly asked, "When did he get out?"

"Out?" Kate was puzzled. "What do you mean, out?"

Still shaken, Steve continued to stare at the man's photo. "Collins has been imprisoned. In London's HM Pentonville, to be precise. I didn't realize he's already out."

Hastings rose from his chair. "According to his record, Collins has been released about six months ago."

Steve looked up in shock at the gaffer. "Six months? But I was never told."

Staring hard at the young man, Hastings asked, "Any reasons why you should be told, Steve? Do you know this man?"

Unable to meet his superior's gaze, Steve shook his head. "I…I can't do this. Forgive me, sir. I really can't do this."

"Steve…" Kate touched his arm. She looked incredibly concerned. "What's wrong, mate?"

"Ma'am," Steve said, taking a step back. Turning back to Hastings, he added. "I can't be involved in this investigation, sir. I'm sorry, but I just can't."

Pushing the folder back into Kate's hand, Steve turned around and rushed out the door. Kate and the gaffer watched in confusion as Steve paused at his workstation to grab his suit jacket and mobile phone before heading towards the lift almost at a run. Seconds later, he was gone.

For once, Hastings was struck speechless. "What the hell just happened?"

Kate turned to her boss, her eyes wide. "I've never seen him looks so spooked, sir."

"Right? As if he had seen a ghost." Shaking his head, the gaffer then threw his arms into the air. "But this is outrageous! The wee gobshite just up and leaves without any explanation. I should report him for insubordination!"

"Sir," Kate calmly said, trying to placate him, "Look, why don't I dig through Collins' historical background first? I'll find out his connection to Steve, if any."

"There is definitely a connection, Kate. Didn't you see Steve's reaction just now? He knew Sebastian Collins."

"I know, sir. But we need to find out what the actual connection is," she explained, flipping through the papers in the folder. "From what it states here, Collins was imprisoned for the last twenty years for sexual assault and manslaughter. But twenty years ago, Steve was only fourteen. How could he have possibly known this guy?"

Hastings rubbed his chin as he grew deep in thought. "You're right, Kate. Do some more digging. But Steve—"

"Leave Steve to me. I'll talk to him. Just don't take any disciplinary actions on him just yet, sir. There must be a good reason why he reacted that way."

He nodded. "Very well, Kate. Do what you must. Just come back to me immediately with any updates, yeah? We've got a job to do here."

"Certainly, sir."

Sighing, Hastings stared at Steve's vacant workstation. "What makes me wonder the most was why should Steve be told about Collins' release from prison in the first place? Who is Sebastian Collins to him?"

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The moment Steve reached his car at the basement carpark of the AC-12 building, he quickly got in and locked the door. Without turning on the engine, he took out his mobile phone and started dialing.

When the person at the other end answered, he promptly said, "Da? It's me."

He listened for a while at his father's happy rejoinder, feeling guilty that he was about to shatter the older man's otherwise blissful day.

"Yes, Da. I'm perfectly fine. How's Mom? Great. Good to hear that." Biting his lower lip, he said next, "Look, Da. There's a reason why I called. And I need you to be truly honest with me."

He paused, listening to his father's puzzled reaction.

"It's about Sebastian Collins."

There was another pause, longer this time. His father had gone strangely quiet.

"Did you know that he is out?"

For a long while, there was no response. And then his father shortly said, "Yes."

Sighing, Steve leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Da. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You have enough on your plate, son. I don't want you to worry."

Rubbing his forehead, Steve said, "Da, I just found out about Collins today. He has something to do with our new case. I have no luxury not to worry. I'm deeply involved in all this."

"I'm so sorry, Stevie. I have not the heart to tell you. You've been in and out of hospitals lately. I don't want to add more problems for you to think of."

Steve took a deep breath. He knew his father was not the person to be blamed. "It's alright, Da. I understand why you didn't tell me. But how did you find out?"

"Malcolm. He called me the day Collins was released."

His father was talking about Malcolm Wright, the former Police Superintendent of a London station. Malcolm was now retired, and was one of Arnott senior's closest friends. He also happened to be the SIO for Sebastian Collins' case twenty years ago.

"I should've known," Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose. A headache was quickly developing. "Mom doesn't know, does she?"

"Of course not," his father replied. "Look, son, why don't you come home? Let's go see Malcolm and talk more about this."

Steve shook his head. "I can't, Da. Not right now. I've got to work, and I have some more thinking to do."

"Okay, Stevie. Just…call me back, you hear? I need to know that you'll be alright."

Steve chuckled without humor. He would never be alright, now that Sebastian Collins—the man who had wrecked his young life—was a free man.

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It was approaching 10.00 at night, and Kate still couldn't get in touch with her partner. Steve had not answered or returned any of her calls. He wasn't at his home, and he wasn't at his favorite bar. He wasn't even at the gym he frequented.

But there was a public aquatic center next to the gym. Kate knew Steve was not the running type, but he certainly loved to swim. Trying her luck, hoping that she got it right this time, she walked through the automatic glass door of the aquatic center.

At the lobby, a young lady behind the counter instantly told her, "Sorry, ma'am. We're closing in fifteen minutes."

"No, it's alright. I'm just looking for my friend, DS Steve Arnott. Is he here?"

"You mean Stevie?" The girl's face brightened up. "Sure. He's still doing laps in the pool."

Stevie? Kate tried hard not to grin. She never ceased to be amazed by Steve's popularity with the ladies.

Kate had been at the center before, so she knew the way to the pool. True to the girl's words, she found Steve alone in the water. He swam to and fro the entire length of the pool, stroke after steady stroke, as if he were battling for an Olympic gold.

Sighing in relief, Kate took a seat on a bench at one end of the pool to wait until Steve finished letting out his steam. It was not a long wait because two laps afterwards, he happened to look up and finally noticed her presence.

Steve instantly stopped, panting for breath as he stared up at her in surprise. "Kate?"

She smiled back. "Hey, mate."

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"Long enough."

He sighed. "What are you doing here, Kate?"

She gave him a knowing look. "You know why."

He shook his head and looked away. "How did you find me?"

"I'm a bloody detective. I have my ways," she retorted. "Steve, we need to talk."

He pushed himself up against the ledge until he sat on the cold floor, leaving his legs dangling in the water. "So talk."

"I can't talk with you looking like that," Kate dryly said.

"What are you saying?"

"You are half naked, mate. You only had your trunks on."

"Seriously, Kate? We have been partners for so long we're practically brother and sister."

"Well, no brother of mine looks like that."

Steve frowned. "Look like what?"

"Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Those firm pecs, that washboard ab. They are distracting me!"

He rolled his eyes. "You can't be serious. You're a married a woman!"

"I'm a woman. Period. And a warm blooded one too. Now go change. Put some clothes on."

"Okay, okay!" Steve said as he leapt to his feet. "Jeez, Kate. As if you haven't seen me naked before."

"I have, and that's the problem!"

Laughing out loud, Steve grabbed his towel before rushing towards the changing room. "Meet me out front in five minutes!"

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They decided to take Kate's car, leaving Steve's Mazda in the aquatic center carpark. He would retrieve it later after they finished their talk.

During the entire drive, Steve said nary a word. He kept staring out the window, his mind obviously wandering somewhere else. Kate just let him stew some more. Whatever was on his mind, she was about to find out soon.

A while later, Kate pulled her car over in front of an all-night café. "Right, mate. Let's go get ourselves some coffee. I'm buying."

Steve made a face. "Coffee? I won't be able to sleep after this."

"That's the whole point. Now stop complaining and let's go," she said, getting out of the car.

Sighing, Steve pushed open his door. "Yes, ma'am."

While inside, they took their coffee to a secluded table next to the large window. A tall cup of latte for her, and a mug of black coffee for him. After taking a sip of her brew, Kate put down her cup and gazed intently at her partner. "Steve?"

When he kept staring into his coffee without responding, she placed her hand on top his joint fists. "Come on, mate. Don't shut me out like this."

Steve looked up. "I'm not shutting you out, Kate. I just…"

"What? What is it that is so hard for you tell me?"

He shrugged. "Where do I begin?"

"From where it all started then, right before Collins was imprisoned twenty years ago," she suggested, "You were fourteen at that time?"

"Yeah. Just about."

"What happened, Steve?"

After a brief hesitation, he said, "Before I tell you what happened, firstly you need to know about Cassie Francis."

Kate frowned. "Who is Cassie Francis?"

"A friend of mine when I was a kid in school. I knew her since kindergarten."

She grinned. "Cassie was your girlfriend?"

"Of course not." He frowned back. "She was a good friend who happened to be a girl."

"Fine. Sorry. Go on."

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "In case you are wondering, I had a happy childhood. I came from a loving family."

Kate nodded. "I've noticed."

"But at school, it was a different story. I was small for my age, a scrawny lad. I always became a target for bullies by the other boys bigger than me."

"Oh no…" She sighed, dreading what came next.

"Don't worry, Kate," he smiled back at her. "Except for some scrapes and bruises, they didn't hurt me that much. The worst was the bloody nose I got when I was thirteen after I refused to give them my lunch money."

He chuckled. "Kids. They can be so cruel. Young criminals in training."

"My God, Steve…"

"Anyway, to cut it short, I didn't make friends with the boys. I got along well with the girls though."

"Yeah, you still do," she said, amused.

Steve grinned. And then his smile faltered. "Cassie Francis was my best friend. She was a popular girl in school because she was so pretty, she got good grades and everything. We both got on famously because we shared the same interest in books."

"Harry Potter?"

"No. Lord of the Rings."

"Ah, okay." Kate chuckled. "I didn't know you read."

He shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. "I don't read many books nowadays. I spent too much time reading crime reports and such."

"Yes, I know what you mean."

Steve's face grew somber. "Cassie came from a broken family. Her parents got divorced while she was a toddler, but she was a happy-go-lucky girl. So full of joy. Always smiling and laughing, cheering me up. But it all changed when we were fourteen. Her mother remarried."

After a short pause, he added, "To Sebastian Collins."

Kate's eyes widened. "Oh, shit…"

"Yeah." Steve grimly nodded. "At first, the changes were subtle. Cassie became quieter, not laughing as much as before. Her grades began to slip. And then she started to sport some bruises, mostly on her wrists and arms. When I asked her about them, she made some stories about bumping into things at home, which was total bollocks. She was not that clumsy."

Kate closed her eyes in dismay. Like Steve, she managed to deduct what had really happened. "She didn't tell you the truth?"

"She kept denying when I asked if her stepfather was abusing her. She even yelled at me once to stay the hell out of her affairs. The Cassie I knew was long gone. She had slipped away into a different Cassie, day by day. I needed help to help my friend, and so I asked my father to confront Sebastian Collins."

"Your father?"

"He was reluctant at first, but he adored Cassie. He wasn't sure if she was really abused by her stepfather. We had no proof, and Cassie never admitted it. Somehow I managed to convince my father to talk to Collins."

"He only did it because he believed you."

"I think so too, and I almost regretted it. They arranged to meet at a bar. Unfortunately, my father got arrested that night for punching Collins in the face."

"What?!" Kate was so shocked her mouth dropped open.

Steve softly laughed. "That was the first and only time my father got into troubles with the law. He was released the very next day. My father then told me that Collins was the most infuriating man he had ever met. Collins denied ever abusing Cassie, of course. He also told my father to make sure that I stay away from her, or he would gladly smash my head into a bloody pulp. That was when my father lost it."

"Jesus, Steve…"

"My father is a kind gentleman with no mean bones in him. But that night, he turned into Incredible Hulk."

When he went awfully silent for almost a minute, Kate feared that the worst was yet to come. "What happened next, Steve?"

"Cassie stopped talking to me after that day," he quietly replied. "She kept avoiding me, walking the other way when she saw me approaching. It went on like that for two months. And then suddenly one night, she called me, sobbing uncontrollably. Collins and her mother were fighting, and Cassie got really scared.

"I ran all the way to her house. When I got there, the house was very quiet. It was pretty isolated from the rest of the neighborhood. Collins was a successful real estate agent at that time, and he managed to acquire an upscale property. Cassie once told me they put a spare key under the gnome next to the pond out front, and so I used that to unlock the door. When I walked in, I saw…"

He took a deep breath, his face turning pale as he recalled the events of that night. "I saw Cassie's mother lying at the bottom of the stairs. Her neck was bent at an odd angle. I knew without checking that she was already dead."

Kate gasped out loud, shocked beyond belief.

"That was my first dead body," Steve muttered. "I was only fourteen."

"Oh, Steve…" She squeezed his arm to offer him comfort, but he wasn't finished with his tale.

"And then I heard Cassie scream. I ran up the stairs and burst into her room." At this, he choked. "She was completely naked and…and…the bastard was on top of her…"

"Jesus Christ…" Kate was horrified. Her face also turned white.

"Something strange just came over me," Steve said, brushing tears from the corner of his eyes. "I saw red. I didn't even think. I grabbed the first heaviest thing I saw, which was Cassie's hardcover edition of Lord of the Rings novel, and I bashed it against Collins' head, over and over, until he fell down. I didn't check whether he was dead or alive. I just bundled up Cassie in blankets and carried her downstairs and out of the house. We hid behind some bushes, and I used my mobile phone to call my father."

"Steve...Oh, Steve…" Near tears herself, she rubbed his arm consolingly.

"As we waited for help, Collins suddenly came out of the house wielding a fireplace poker. His head was bleeding, but I guess I didn't hit him hard enough. He kept screaming for me and Cassie. He was like a man gone deranged. The wait felt like an eternity, but the first responder finally arrived several minutes later."

Taking a huge gulp of his coffee that had gone cold, Steve then said, "Even then we stayed hidden. We watched as the police took Collins under custody. We saw him being taken away in a patrol car. We watched as the police entered the house to look for us. We only came out of the bushes when my father called out my name."

Shaken by his own revelation, Steve buried his face into his hands. Kate left him be for a moment, but she never released her grip on his arm as she digested what she had just learned.

From all the quick digging she had managed to do on Sebastian Collins' background, she already found out that the charges upon him was for the manslaughter of his wife and the sexual assault of his stepdaughter. But the girl's name was kept out of the record, and so was her savior's name, because both of them were protected minors. Steve's name also didn't show up in any of the legal proceeding documents. He was known only as Witness-1. His verbal statement had been recorded so he didn't need to appear in court.

Looking at her partner in a new light, Kate finally realized that this awful experience was what had molded Steve into the man that he had become. He could be utterly arrogant one moment, and wonderfully kind the next. He could be this irritating wee gobshite that the gaffer liked to complain about, and he could also be this most dedicated police officer who just wanted to do the right thing. He may like to have fun with the ladies a little too much, but he also had admirable moral compass. After learning about his past, Kate surprised herself by the level of sheer protectiveness she felt over him.

"Steve," she softly said, taking his hand to pull it off his face. "Are you alright, mate?"

He sniffed, his head shaking. "No. Not really."

"I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be. It's not your fault, Kate. Besides, you need to get the whole picture. You must know the reason why I can't be involved in this latest case."

"I understand it now. I will tell the gaffer." Squeezing his hand, she looked at him closely. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened to Cassie afterwards? Where is she now?"

If anything, Steve looked even more miserable. "Her own father didn't want anything to do with her, so she went to live with her maternal grandparents. She moved to different school. I rarely saw her after that, but we still kept in touch through phone calls. I learned that she had to see some psychiatrists due to her traumatic experience. She also suffered from severe depression."

His voice broke, and tears started falling down his cheek. "A year later, I received a call from her grandfather one morning. They found Cassie in the bathtub, her wrists were slit opened. She was already beyond help. And that day was my fucking fifteenth birthday…"

Weeping herself, Kate gathered him into her arms and squeezed him tight. She didn't care if anyone else was watching them. She only cared that the brave young boy would still be hurting twenty years later. She only cared that her ever resilient partner had been carrying his grieve for the most part of his life.

The rest of the world be damned.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: I didn't realize that this particular fic is gonna take longer than I expected. Stay tuned for the final chapter.

"I know the difference between screwing an investigation and just screwing." – DS Steve Arnott.

* ABBREVIATIONS:

AC - Anti Corruption

DCI - Detective Chief Inspector

DI - Detective Inspector

DS - Detective Sergeant

SIO - Senior Investigation Officer