Stepping Stool Chapter 1, a rwby fanfic

Ah, well, here we go with another new fic. Remember when I said I was done writing after MoNT? Yeah, me neither. This story is something new for me to try, though: fluff.

Yeah, I have no clue what I'm doing on that front. Fortunately, I'm not the only author. This fic is being co-authored, so I'm writing about half of each chapter. If you want to know by whom, the co-author is writing the closing AN to this chapter.

Unless he just doesn't feel like it. If that's the case, I guess it remains a mystery. Hopefully he's feeling chatty and wants to explain how we came up with this story idea.

- Ikedawg43

Stepping Stool

Things were tensely quiet in JNPR's dorm as Pyrrha sat at her desk, pretending to do her readings for Oobleck's class. She doubted Ren bothered to notice, but Pyrrha could feel Nora's eyes on the back of her head. The champion wasn't fooling her fellow red-head. Nora knew that Pyrrha was waiting anxiously.

Jaune had left a few minutes earlier, guitar in hand. He hadn't said a word, but the look of hope and excitement on his face as he left - oh yeah, and the guitar - told Pyrrha that he was going to confess his love for Weiss again. As if it's just that easy for him. Gods above, sometimes she envied Jaune for that, almost more than she envied Weiss for the direct attention he gave h-

Pyrrha's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Jaune was back!

She immediately felt terrible for being excited when she saw the dejected look on his face. His latest attempt to woo Weiss has gone as everyone else could have predicted. As much as it hurt her to see Jaune look so sad, Pyrrha recognized that this was her opportunity to be there for him. Maybe some of his courage would rub off on her.

She locked eyes with Nora, before flicking her head towards the doorway. Pyrrha wanted her and Ren out. Nora gave Pyrrha an indignant look as she glanced between her and Jaune, as if to say really? You are finally about to make a move? Pyrrha gave Nora a slight scowl and flicked her head at the door more aggressively, all while making sure to switch to a neutral expression if Jaune turned her way.

"You know what sounds good right now? Pancakes," Nora announced, hoping off her bed and making her way over to Ren's. "I bet the kitchen's restocked. Reeeennnnnnnn~~"

"I'd rather continue reading, Nora."

"Ren!" Nora snapped aggressively enough to get the boy to look up, where Nora flicked her head towards Pyrrha. She gave him an awkward, apologetic smile. Whether or not he figured it out, he allowed himself to be dragged out of the room.

Leaving Pyrrha with Jaune. Right. You can do this, Pyrrha. Just be there for him.

"I… take it that Weiss is not a fan of music?" Pyrrha asked awkwardly, fully aware of Weiss' previous career as a singer.

"Not from me, apparently," Jaune mumbled as he stashed his guitar under his bed. "Sorry, I'm just… not in a great mood right now, Pyrrha."

Jaune sat down on his bed, staring ahead blankly. That gave Pyrrha an opening. She walked over to sit down next to him on the bed, almost close enough to touch him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Pyrrha asked, not really knowing what else to say.

"No," Jaune grumbled. "Well… yes. I don't know. She just-"

Jaune cut himself off and looked over at her, and she made sure that he knew she was paying attention to him.

"I'm beginning to think that it's not possible to win her over," Jaune said finally, dropping his eyes to his lap. Pyrrha, for as nice as she was, had to resist the urge to blurt out duh. Nora was a horrible influence on her. "I always thought that I'd meet someone I'm crazy about and then I'd be able to woo her, but I'm having second thoughts now."

Pyrrha hated to hear that. Jaune's outlook was so pure sometimes that it really did break her heart to hear him struggling to keep faith in himself. If only she could make him see that it really was that simple, if he'd just give her even a passing glance. She couldn't let him afford to think that he didn't have any shot in the world with anyone.

"I like to think that you really can fall in love with someone who loves you back," Pyrrha reassured Jaune. The irony was not lost on her. "Maybe Weiss just… isn't the right person for you."

'Maybe,' she thought sarcastically.

"After what Weiss said, I think there might not be anyone."

"What did… Weiss say?" Pyrrha asked uncertainly.

"She told me that no one would ever go out with me if I kept stalking her with my guitar," Jaune admitted glumly. Pyrrha did her best not to nod in agreement there. It would be for the best if that guitar found its way out the window, and that was coming from her. "I think her words were 'you're so annoying that there isn't a self-respecting woman alive who would even consider saying yes' when I asked her out."

"She said what?" Pyrrha let out indignantly. She understood that Weiss was frustrated with Jaune's advances - a notion that Pyrrha agreed with the heiress on - but that sounded harsh, even from Weiss. Worse, Weiss was well-aware of the way Pyrrha looked at Jaune, so you'd have to forgive the champion for being a little insulted.

"Yeah, so that's what I've been dealing with…"

"Weiss doesn't know what she's talking about, Jaune," Pyrrha announced in a rare burst of courage, turning herself to face Jaune more fully. "There are plenty of women who you would make more than happy."

Jaune looked up at her with a ray of hope on his face, which made her stomach flutter. "Really?"

"Absolutely. I've never been more certain of something." Not that saying such was difficult. What was difficult for her was proving the statement true to Jaune, right here and right now. She was so close. "I think that maybe you've been focusing on Weiss too much to see what's right in front of you."

Gods, she was so close! Was this actually going to happen? The butterflies in her stomach were going wild.

"I just need to do something to find them!" Jaune announced excitedly, filled with the inspiration she'd given him.

"Exactly!" Wait. "...them?"

"Yeah," Jaune replied, flashing her a huge smile as he dug his scroll out of his pocket. "All the lovely ladies who would like me!"

Pyrrha's face contorted into a confused shape that had never been seen before, and of course Jaune didn't even notice, too concerned with playing with his scroll.

"Jaune, I don't think you understood what I meant-"

"No, this is great, Pyrrha!" Jaune let out. He was just so… happy that Pyrrha couldn't bring herself to interrupt him. "It's just like you said. There are lots of ladies who would like me. I just have to get out there and find them, right?"

"...right," Pyrrha let out defeatedly.

"What would you say my best feature is?" Jaune asked abruptly, turning and giving her such a pure, inquisitive look that Pyrrha was caught off-guard.

"Your best feature?" Pyrrha repeated the question nervously. Was this her chance to tell Jaune what she saw in him? "I've always been inspired by how hard you work to show you belong here."

Jaune looked at her funny. "What? No, I meant, like, physically. What's my best feature?"

"O-Oh." She felt silly and a blush crept up her face. "W-Well, you have pretty eyes, and you're pretty strong, and tall, and-"

"Tall. I can work with that," Jaune announced before going back to his scroll, leaving a very confused Pyrrha.

"What are you looking for, Jaune?" Pyrrha asked, leaning over his shoulder to look at his scroll screen. He was currently looking through the app store.

"Well, what better way to put myself out there than a dating app?" Jaune asked redundantly. "I'm just looking for one that will work for me."

"A… dating app?" Pyrrha repeated dubiously. She had been so close, and had instead accidentally inspired Jaune to turn to a dating app?

Actually, the more she thought about it, maybe she could use this. Clearly, she was struggling to tell Jaune how she felt, and he wasn't going to notice it without some help. But if she and Jaune got a match on a dating app? There was no way that Jaune could misread that.

And she was sitting next to him, too. All she had to do was catch the name of the app he joined. They lived so close to one another that it would take no time at all for them to get paired up - literally, they lived a few feet from each other. Plus, she wouldn't have to build up the courage to make a first move.

It was perfect.

"Have you found one yet?"

"I did!" Jaune answered excitedly. "I figure, hey, might as well put my best feature forward, right?"

Well if that didn't give her some ideas. Maybe Yang could lend Pyrrha a low-cut shirt for a profile photo.

"That sounds like a wise strategy," Pyrrha concurred. "What app did you decide on?"

"It's called Stepping Stool," Jaune answered. "It's one of those apps where you swipe right if you like someone, but it has a special gimmick that should work in my favor."

"Oh?" Pyrrha asked, already thinking of Jaune's surprise when he had a match by the end of the day - with her, of course. "And what is that?"

"Height requirements," Jaune answered. "The app is designed to pair tall guys with short girls. It has a height maximum for girls and a minimum for guys! Isn't that cool?"

"Height… maximum?"

"Yeah!" Jaune confirmed with a huge, excited grin and he continued to set up his profile. "I figured that since I liked Weiss, maybe I just have a thing for short girls. And since I'm tall, this should work out perfectly for me!"

"Y-Yeah," Pyrrha mumbled distantly, as all her plans shattered around her. "T-That does sound perfect."

Yes, because if there was one feature that Pyrrha Nikos was known for, it was how short she was.

"I think I'll… leave you to it, Jaune," Pyrrha announced, her voice almost disembodied from her poor soul. She stood up and made for the door. "I need to go do some training."

"Okay! Good luck!" Jaune called out, oblivious to everything she had just gone through. "Oh, Pyrrha?"

"YES?!" she whipped around instantly, as a new well of hope started to spring. Maybe he was just slow, and finally got the hint while she was-

"Thanks for the advice!" Jaune called out, holding his phone up. "I think this is going to work. I don't know what I'd do without your support."

"I'm just… happy to help."

This was a great idea! Pyrrha had never led Jaune astray before, and it totally looked like that streak was continuing. Well, okay, she had encouraged him to tell Weiss his feelings and that hadn't done so well, but that wasn't Pyrrha's fault. As far as he was concerned, Pyrrha's advice was still top-notch.

I mean, it made so much sense. He had a huge crush on Weiss, but that wasn't because of her personality; he just loved what he saw in a way that he never had with anyone else. And since Weiss was short, maybe that was part of the reason. So finding a dating app that would help him find short girls was brilliant! Pyrrha was just awesome at this stuff.

"Alrighty, Jaune, let's get your profile up and running!" Jaune announced to himself cheerfully, kicking back against the headboard of his bed and holding his scroll up in front of him. "Step one: your name. Well hey, that one's pretty easy."

Jaune Arc. Eight letters, one space. Just like that, Jaune was already one step closer to finding someone. It was such a surreal feeling that the love of his life was only a few buttons away now.

Next came location. Again, this was pretty easy, since he could just let the app use his scroll's tracker. He figured that he didn't have to worry about anyone stealing his address and sending people to rob him; he did live at a combat school that was separated from the rest of the city by a five-minute bullhead ride. With one button press, that was taken care of.

"Alright, photo time," he announced giddily. The app offered him the opportunity to upload several photos straight from his scroll's library, meaning that Jaune got to choose only his best pictures.

Well, obviously the picture of me at Beacon's gym should be first. It would show off that Jaune was active and tall. The pose was a little silly - he was standing in front of a wall mirror and showing off his biceps to the camera - but that would just endear him more. He didn't exactly have much muscle to show for it, being a noodle and all, but he felt the photo showed him being proactive. As long as they realized that the photo was old, any girl would know that he'd been putting on more muscle in the meantime.

He scrolled through his photos some more.

Oooh, I have to upload a photo of me in my armor! Chicks love knights in shining armor, and Jaune Arc was something, it was definitely a knight. The photo he had was so cool, too, with him in his chest plate and greaves with a serious look on his face. Crocea Mors was held above his head with the point facing at the camera, so that it looked like the blade was almost sticking out of the screen. Such a badass photo was guaranteed to score Jaune some points.

What else?

A picture in the Beacon uniform. His father told him that ladies loved a man in uniform. Chances are all the girls nearby that Jaune will match with are already at Beacon, but on the chance his profile reaches all the way to Vale, that was always a good thing to throw in. Plus, he was pretty sure he pulled that look off.

Oh yeah, I totally need to throw some photos of me with my team on there. After all, his team was both awesome and cool. How could that ever work against him? He chose one where they all linked arms to take a group photo with Jaune and Ren in the middle. Nora was hanging off of Ren's side on one side, and the guy didn't even know that Nora was totally doing that to get close to him. On the other side, Pyrrha did the same thing to Jaune so that she matched Nora's pose. It made for a cute picture, and that would totally look good on his profile.

That was probably enough photos for any ladies to get a good sense of who Jaune Arc was. He couldn't imagine how to put a better foot forward, but Jaune figured he could go ahead and take a fresh photo to throw on there, just in case. He hopped up and walked over to the bathroom, and took a pretty generic bathroom mirror selfie, giving the camera a big smile. Jaune couldn't afford for them to think he was unhappy, after all.

With that done, Jaune plopped back down on his bed and got started on the next part of his profile.

"Biography: tell everyone about yourself," Jaune read off the prompt on the screen. "Oh boy, this is where things really make or break. Everyone knows that dating apps are all about good, witty bios, and that the photos are really just extra."

He couldn't afford to write a bad bio, so Jaune decided to plan out what he wanted it to show about him.

First, obviously, he wanted it to show that Jaune was funny. Girls loved humor almost as much as they loved confidence, according to his father. If Jaune wanted to come across as both confident and funny, then he needed to start the bio off immediately with a great joke.

But he also didn't want to come across as a douche. That would sink any chance of a girl being attracted to him. It was super critical to show that he was self-aware and respectful, otherwise this thing would end up disastrous for him.

He started typing.

Perks of dating me: ...uh, let's come back to this part.

Brilliant! It was funny and relatable, and also broke the ice. Everyone on the app had to write a bio and knew how hard it was, so that meant that everyone was guaranteed to get the joke. Plus, self-depreciation showed that Jaune wasn't some self-absorbed jerk. That line could not have been written any better.

With the ice broken and any reader captivated, Jaune could launch right into personal info.

The name's Jaune Arc. Try saying it out loud. You'll notice it's short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue. About me? Oh, nothing much, just training to be a Huntsman here at Beacon Academy! I'm the Team Leader of the awesome Team JNPR, so maybe you'll see us out there saving the world soon. If you do, don't be shy and say hi! We don't bite, haha.

Oh man, Jaune was on a roll. He had to keep this going.

I'm a pretty tall guy, and I'm just looking for a lovely young lady to make very happy, so, how does dinner sound? If you're into movies, I could totally take you to that new Spruce Willis movie too!

Man, was it really this easy? Those lines killed!

After putting it all together and reading it, Jaune decided that he was just missing one final touch. He laughed softly to himself as he topped off the joke he had written at the beginning.

Perks of dating me: ...uh, let's come back to this part.

...nope, still haven't thought of anything for that first part, haha lol.

That totally brought it all together. Jaune could not wait to publish his profile. He was beginning to worry what would happen when he matched with multiple people. Did he give the first one to match first dibs? If the second person got along with him better, would it be rude to the first one to skip over her? Surely she would understand, but Jaune knew that if it was him that got skipped over he'd be a little hurt.

Oh well. He'd deal with that later. It was time to get to swiping!

"And finally, Pyrrha Nikos," Cinder's fangirl noted.

Finally. Finally. That meant that this tedium was finally coming to an end, right?

Neo Politan sat on one of the vacant beds in her false team's dorm room in Beacon Academy. Team. She didn't need a team. The thought of these people being close to her disgusted the young woman. The only person she needed in her life was Roman Torchwick. He was the only friend she'd ever had or needed. More than just a friend, however. A mentor. A father figure. Her partner in crime.

Still, Roman had told her to play nice with her new 'classmates'. Change was coming not only to the kingdom of Vale, but the entire world. Change that they would play a part in. Roman had specifically told her that they both had their parts to play in the grand scheme of the woman known to them as Cinder Fall. Necessary parts at that. It was far better to go with the flow and play their parts rather than resist and face utter annihilation. Neo couldn't agree more.

There would be blood. Fire. Revolution. The strong would devour the weak as they always did. That was the single constant rule of the world. And Neo, thanks to Roman, would be among the strong. When the dust finally settled and the smoke cleared, she would still be standing at Roman's side. And they would be kings in the new world which they had helped usher in.

"Aaahhh, the Invincible Girl," the raven-haired woman sitting atop another of the beds said knowingly.

"She's smart, but I wouldn't say invincible," Gimpy said while lying on the floor like a child. The fact that he was reading a children's comic book didn't help with the image he gave off.

"Doooo teeellll," Cinder said with as much sex appeal as an amateur scroll sex operator, despite how hard she was clearly trying..

Speaking of scrolls, Neo frowned as she stared down at the scroll game she was currently playing. She needed a nickname for Cinder. One which fit her tryhard seductress schtick.

Fangirl and Gimpy had been easy enough. Emerald carried a torch for Cinder so bright that one might mistake her for having a legitimate romantic crush on the older girl. Mercury meanwhile had those strange robotic legs which he concealed from the rest of the world. Normally Neo wouldn't make fun of cripples, she being mute herself. Glass houses and all that. However, Mercury was also a prick. That made him fair game. So Gimpy he was.

At this point Neo honestly began just tuning out the conversation that was going on in front of her. Fangirl and Gimpy were explaining the finer details of Pyrrha's Semblance to... to...

A harsh breath shot from Neo's nostrils. She really needed a degrading nickname for Mistress Tryhard over there.

Mistress Tryhard? Nah, too long. Too many syllables.

Speaking of tryhard, Neo's teeth gritted together as another one of those tryhard, pay to win losers beat her in her mobile game. Whoever invented microtransactions on games should be tarred and feathered in public. Neo would personally lead the mob. She may have been a criminal, but even she wouldn't spend other people's lien on a crappy little mobile game.

Cinder hummed. "People assume she's fated for victory when she's really taken fate into her own hands." She paused briefly. "Interesting. Add her to the list."

Oooooh! The list! The list! How ominous!

Neo rolled her eyes at... Madame... Madame Suck... nah. Despite the fact that Cinder did indeed suck, she only did so metaphorically. The wannabe seductress had probably never even seen a dick in her life. She was all bark and no bite as far as Neo was concerned. Not that one should be biting while sucking... but Cinder probably didn't know that. She'd probably try to literally blow a cock during a blow job.

"You should be able to take her no problem," Gimpy himself sucked up. Probably hoped he'd get laid if he stuck around long enough. Newsflash, Captain Grayhair: Cinder's not gonna do your crippled ass. Even Fangirl had a better shot than you.

"It's not about overpowering the enemy," Cinder explained with a pretentious hand gesture. "It's about taking away what power they have. And we will. In time."

Oh. My. Gods. Could this woman get anymore lame? This Cinder chick really needed to get laid. Maybe then she'd at least not be so wound up and obnoxious. Shit, Neo would settle for getting herself laid if it meant getting away from the inane ramblings of Team CMEN.

Neo's lips curled into a smirk. CMEN. She idly wondered if Cinder even realized what their team name was phonetically. Probably not.

"I hate waiting," Gimpy said with a sigh as he fell back onto the floor, his hands behind his head softening the fall.

And I hate you, Neo thought, wishing that his head had indeed crashed down to the floor unprotected and given him more brain damage than he already had.

Wait a minute. Getting laid. Or if not that, at least finding someone else to hang out with so that she'd have an excuse to step away from this chore of a mission. That could actually work!

Closing down the scroll game that she hated to love and loved to hate, Neo opened up her application search. Dating apps. If she could find someone nearby to go out with she could not only get away from her tryhard evil teammates, but probably score some free meals as well. It was the perfect plan!

Stepping Stool. This one seemed a fine enough choice. A brief description told Neo that it was specifically made for short women seeking tall men. Huh. Well, she met those criteria with no issue at all. And while pretty much any man over the age of twelve would be taller than her, she did like a nice, tall man...

"Don't worry, Mercury. We have a fun weekend ahead of us."

Damn right we do. Once Neo was on board with Stepping Stool she'd be having plenty of fun away from these people.

After downloading the app, Neo found that she needed to create her profile. Wonderful. Things like her name, height, biography and at least one picture were required. That should be simple enough.

Neo. No last name needed here. Short, sweet, and to the point. Just like her. Never mind the fact that the point was the razor-sharp tip of Hush.

Height. Her tiny fingers hesitated for just a moment. In her high-heeled boots she stood at four feet nine inches tall. Without them...

She shook her head and decided to enter her height with her boots on. She had never been too self-conscious of her height, but actually seeing 4'5" written there on the screen made her pause briefly. Yes. To the outside world she would be 4'9".

Biography... what was there to say? She was a career criminal working with Team Tryhard to destroy Beacon Academy? Nah, she didn't even need a bio. She as a girl, after all. And unlike the rest of her teammates, she wouldn't even have to try to attract men by the dozen.

I'm mute and I'm hot, she wrote. That's all you need to know.

With a satisfied smile, Neo nodded before moving on to the last bit of required information: a photo of herself. She'd been forced by her 'team leader' to leave her normal scroll behind because that was too risky, which meant she hadn't had this Beacon scroll for very long. Neo texted people almost exclusively through picture-messaging apps, though, so she had a couple of selfies already in this scroll.

Maybe later she'd go down and raid Beacon's kitchen for some whipped cream to take a real profile photo. With her natural hair color, it would make quite a tantalizing sight to anyone scrolling through the ladies of this app, which was sure to win her any guy's favor.

Not that anyone would ever swipe left on me to begin with, she thought arrogantly, but correctly.

In any case, Neo was also a little picky about what picture to show off, not really liking any of her stock selfies. She opened her camera application instead. Pursing her lips ever so gently, Neo tilted her head at a slight angle and to the side. One click later, she had the ideal duck face picture that she knew air-headed bimbos in Vale loved to take. Again, the perfect piece of bait to lure in every single guy on this app.

With her profile created she was welcomed to the app, and was now free to begin scrolling through the men in her area who were also using the service.

Who popped up as the closest men to Neo quite frankly shocked her.

0.1 miles away from her was the grinning face of one of her new classmates. Cardin Winchester stood at a very intimidating six feet six inches tall. Without her heels, about two full feet taller than herself. She'd seen the boy around before, mostly picking on that rabbit-eared second-year girl who for some reason refused to defend herself. Wasn't this school about learning to fight? How were you going to fight the Grimm if you couldn't even stand up for yourself against a school bully? Or was that some passivism bullshit where it wasn't worth reacting to? Because Neo would have stabbed Winchester by now.

Swipe left. Cardin may have been tall, but he was also a dick. And not the kind of dick she was looking for either.

0.1 miles. Dr... Dr. Oobleck? A set of pink and brown eyes widened to see the spectacled professor smiling as he held a mug of coffee in his hand beside his face.

Must love coffee. Must love dogs, read his profile. Sure, those traits were admirable enough, but it was also Doctor-effing-Oobleck. Much older than her, and to be quite frank, talked too much for both of them even if she was a mute.

What was he even doing matching with his students? Weren't there age parameters? Ugh.

Swipe. Left.

0.1 miles. Yatsuhashi Daichi. Standing at an impressive seven feet tall, he was a mountain of a man who stood taller than even Oobleck and Ozpin. Probably as tall as that Junior guy who ran the club down in the seedy part of Vale, and that Roman borrowed men from recently.

"Neo, are you listening?" the sudden voice of Cinder cut through the room.

The young woman looked up from her scroll to see Cinder and the other two standing before her. Had she zoned out that completely that she missed out on the end of their discussion?

"Are you playing on your scroll while we're strategizing?" Fangirl asked, like a loyal, yapping purse dog at Cinder's side.

Yes. She shook her head no.

"And what might I ask are you doing?" Cinder wondered.

Neo held up her scroll letting them see the reverse image through the back of the transparent screen, which showed the trio the face of their classmate.

"Ahh, Yatsuhashi. I know of this one, he could be a threat in the tournament." Cinder smiled menacingly. She watched Neo with some strange sort of approval that made her want to take a shower. "Very good. Continue scouting for potential pitfalls to our plan."

The short girl smiled and nodded, giving Cinder an energetic thumbs up before swiping left again. It wasn't that Yatsuhashi was too tall, or even too ugly, but there was weird, deep-sounding poetry on his profile. She didn't care about the lotus flower or the blue corn moon. All she wanted was some free food, and if the conditions were right, a good time. Waxing philosophically with the gentle giant wasn't her idea of fun.

Cinder and her cronies left the room leaving Neo alone. Alone to continue on her quest for a suitable match.

0.1 miles. Jaune Arc. She'd seen the dopey looking boy around before. He wasn't all that physically impressive compared to the others. In fact with his scraggly blond hair and average facial features, he was quite normal looking. Not even the tallest of the men she'd encountered so far. Barely above six feet.

But then again, height alone didn't make for an appealing potential partner.

Dopey was an understatement. Wait, did he write Team JNPR in his profile? That meant he was...

Pyrrha Nikos' partner!?

Neo's eyes lit up. Cinder had added the girl to her mysterious list of mystery. If Neo could manage to bag Jaune Arc and spend some time with him... then Cinder would think it was part of her mission to scout out potential enemies!

A look at his uploaded photos showed Jaune with the rest of his team, including one redheaded tourney champion at his side. Neo's lips curled into a smirk when she realized Pyrrha nearly matched his height. Interesting that Jaune found himself on a dating app specifically for short girls when he had an amazing girl like Pyrrha literally hanging off his arm.

Guess he's just not into tall girls, she thought amusedly. Sorry, Pyrrha.

Tall, dopey, and offering her food? Not to mention the perk of being an excuse to get out of Cinder's presence? A movie was an extra two, maybe three hours of distraction.

Neo couldn't swipe right fast enough. Mine mine mine!

Content with finding her perfect target, Neo closed down the app and fell backwards onto her bed. All she had to do was wait for him to match with her. And he would swipe right when he saw her. Much like how the sun rose in the east and set in the west, it was inevitable.

Great. Now that Yatsuhashi guy's lame poetry was rubbing off on her.

With a happy sigh, and finally free from her teammates, Neo stretched out across the bed she barely made a dent in and closed her eyes to rest.

"Whatcha doing, Vomit Boy?" Yang called out, walking up to stand behind the bench Jaune was sitting down on. The rest of their teams were in the background, playing some game in Beacon's courtyard they'd invented.

"Nothing," Jaune grumbled, not even looking up from his scroll.

Since that was an obvious lie, Yang leaned over her shoulder to watch whatever it was that Jaune had been obsessed with on his scroll for a few days now.

"A dating app?"

Jaune looked up at Yang nervously for a moment, before giving a defeated shrug and tilting the screen so she could see better. "Yeah. Pyrrha gave me the idea a couple of days ago, and I found a cool app that matches tall guys with short girls."

Yang's eyes trailed back over to her team, specifically their bite-sized Dust heiress. "Someone has a type~~"

"Yeah, well, what someone doesn't have is any luck at this stupid thing," Jaune grumbled, going back to the app. Yang noticed him scrolling right on every picture that came up, consistently. Some she even recognized, like those bitches she'd pummeled at Junior's club - and wouldn't that just be hysterical. Their profile had both their names on it, too, so Yang figured they probably weren't looking for a relationship, if you know what she means. The thought of Jaune accidentally stumbling into that without knowing what he was signing up for was incredibly funny to Yang.

Sadly, just like all the other pictures, Jaune swiping right still didn't get a match with them.

"Come on, you can't be that bad at this," Yang reassured Jaune, holding her hand out expectantly. "Let me see your profile."

Jaune handed it over easily. "I read online that if you struggle to find matches, you should try to mix up the time of day that you're swiping. So far I've tried mornings, during Port's class, nights, afternoons… Nothing has worked!"

Yeesh, no wonder. Jaune's profile was… uh… bad. There was no nice way to say it.

"Yeah, I don't know, Jaune," Yang lied, not having the heart to look into Jaune's eyes and tell him it made total sense he was striking out. "This should work."

"Really?" Jaune asked, hoping springing anew. Yang's heart sank and she felt awful, and she did her best to give Jaune an encouraging smile. "Do you have any suggestions? Stuff to add?"

"Oh, totally," Yang answered, glad that he'd asked because she didn't want to be the one to say this has got to change. "You can totally do better with your little rolls of the tongue line."

"I can?"

"Mmhmm," Yang confirmed, deleting Jaune's version and writing in her own. "Here, try this."

"The name's Jaune Arc: short, sweet, and rolls off my tongue, just like the lady I'm looking for-Yang!" Jaune went red by the time he understood what it meant. "I can't put that!"

"Why not?"

"That's totally inappropriate for a dating profile!"

Yang let out a long sigh. She didn't know why she bothered. Jaune clearly had no clue what the point of the app he was on was.

"You're right. I'm messing with you, Vomit Boy." She was not messing with him. The poor fool. She tussled his hair out of pity, like he was a kid who just struck out at his little league game. Not the worst analogy, really. "Maybe it just takes a few days for your profile to get enough views. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll eventually-"

"Oh sweet! A match!" Jaune let out suddenly.

"A what?" Yang asked, doing a double-take. And then a triple-take.

"Yeah, look, I got a match!" he let out excitedly. "Neo. She's pretty cute, too. This is awesome!"

Yang took a quick look over Jaune's shoulder to verify, and sure enough, the boy had done it. Huh. "Good job. Totally knew you could do it."

"Thanks," Jaune responded idly, gesturing loosely to their teams. "You can go hang out with them now. I have to craft my hello message."

Yang understood the request for privacy for what it was, shaking her head the whole time as she walked away.

Well hello. Mallobaude here, co-writer of this story. So all the good parts were by me, of course.

Ike asked me to explain how we came up with this idea, so here it goes: One day I randomly mentioned to him that there should be a dating app specifically made for tall men and short women, seeing how we're both tall bois. We then independently came up with shitpost/crack fic ideas and posted them in Discord for others to see. From there… the ball got rolling, and this was the result.

I hope you enjoy what's to come. It's both of our first dives into Silent Knight. Should be fun to do a character who can't speak.

Thanks for reading. Let us know what you thought.

- Mallobaude

( we're a pair of tall bois, if you couldn't tell. also jaune's dating profile was based off of my own :/ - ikedawg43 )