All right, here we are. This is the last chapter. I've tried to make the kinds of changes I think would enrich the story, and I hope everyone who's read feels the same way. I have also kind of ended this the way it ends in the show, with questions and answers, I hope.

More at the bottom.

To the gods

A few weeks after Lilith and Gyda's recovery, the town was still recovering. Siggy's sadness had lifted a little as she helped care for the girls, and she was even helping Athelstan with meals and smiling again, though it was fleeting. Athelstan was no longer afraid of Lilith saying anything to Siggy about not being able to save her daughter. In the weeks that followed her revealing that she would not have been able to save Thyri, Lilith seemed to understand that saying anything would not help in Siggy's grieving. Athelstan wasn't so sure about anyone else in town, but he could see that Siggy was truly concerned for the girls' welfare. At the moment at least, he knew he could trust her.

Lagertha, on the other hand, had not dropped her facade once in the weeks since they had discovered and sworn to protect Lilith's ability. She also had not let Athelstan out of her sight for longer than absolutely necessary, wanting him and her girls at her side whenever they settled any remaining disputes and when it was time to sleep. She had insisted on him sleeping in her bed with her and the girls, and while he would have normally objected, Athelstan could see how afraid she was of something else happening to him, so he relented despite being certain people began to notice.

Finally, one morning when the weather had cleared up enough for them to open up a few of the shutters, Lagertha decided they could all use a bath. She had Edda and Þórunn bring in wash tubs for Gyda and Lilith, filling them with fresh hot water and bidding Siggy to help them while Athelstan saw to breakfast on the other side of the long house. He thought perhaps she would have him use one of the washrooms outside, but she came to him alone with linens and fresh clothes, beckoning him to her as she left the long house.

"Come, Athelstan," she said. "We will go together."

At that point, not many servants were around, but Asa and Kindra gave him curious looks before Lagertha took his hand and pulled him from the long house. More people gave them looks as they walked through town and then along the path that led away from town, but Lagertha kept her head up as they walked.

"Should we really be leaving town like this?" Athelstan asked even as he continued following her.

She stopped, turning to him as she still held his hand. "And why not?" she asked him. "As far as anyone knows, you are still a servant in my household. And it is time for you to bathe."

Despite himself, Athelstan bowed his head, embarrassed for having even asked. Lagertha stepped closer to him, claiming his shoulder and then his cheek so he would look at her.

"You must know that I do not see you that way anymore," she stressed. "To me, you are family. But until Ragnar makes you a free man, no one else will see you as more than a slave. Athelstan, say you believe me. Say you believe I would never treat you that way."

He sighed softly, nodding as he spoke. "Of course, I believe you. I trust you. I do. But what will happen when Ragnar returns and he finds out about this? About the way you're acting and this now — us going off alone like this?"

Taking a deep breath, Lagertha lifted her other hand to his shoulder, looking at him straight on. "If it comes to it, I will tell him. And I will deal with the people in town." She shook him slightly, gripping his shoulders. "After everything that has happened, I must do something keep anything else from happening to you."

He shook his head. "What are you doing?" he pleaded.

She took his hand in hers again, looking around before she began walking again. "Come with me," she said. "I will explain."

Athelstan again saw how afraid she was, knowing he could trust her but also realizing he didn't have much choice but to do as she asked. He'd never seen anyone act this way before, not even Ragnar just before they had left for Uppsala. Whatever was going on in her head, it was stronger than any reaction he'd ever seen anyone have before now.

They kept on the path for several more minutes, crossing a stream into denser woods and obviously toward a very specific place even if Athelstan couldn't remember anything being this way.

"Before we arrive," she said as she still walked at a steady pace, "I must ask you a very personal question. And I need you to answer me honestly."

"What is it you must know?" he asked as he still followed her.

"While we were at Uppsala, before the sacrifices, I know you went with Thyri to prepare for the ceremony before you saw the Seer. Did you have sex with her?"

Athelstan stopped, and then she did, turning to face him. "Why must you know that?" he shouted.

Lagertha stepped closer to him. "I know she was distant with you after that night. I guessed that you had refused her, but I must know for certain if you did or not. I would not ask if it was not important."

"How — I mean, no. I didn't. I couldn't. For the same reason I couldn't the first time, only this time, I was angry at her. I was furious at Ragnar. And . . . I made a promise, and I don't usually break my promises." He stopped on his last word, almost backing away from her. "Lagertha," he said, pleading. "I — "

"Just come with me," she commanded, taking his hand and pulling him off again.

Athelstan became reluctant, remembering that night with Thyri and remembering how angry he'd been at her and everyone else for tricking him and lying to him. He'd been so intoxicated that at first, he'd only been confused. And he remembered how surprised and startled she'd been by his reaction. He still didn't know if he would have gone through with it if he'd known about it in advance, which had obviously been the plan from the start.

Why did it matter to Lagertha, unless she planned to do the same thing?

Finally, they reached their destination, which seemed to be like the hot springs at the farm, steaming and filling the trees around them with a dense fog that kept it covered from prying eyes. Lagertha deposited the linens on a rock near the water, turning to face him and reaching into her own hair to undo the braids holding it up.

"When I first realized that you were not a willing participant in the sacrifice at Uppsala," she began, "of course I was upset with Ragnar, but I thought it was like the Seer said and you simply had a greater Fate than the one we had originally believed. And I accepted that, especially when you expressed your vehemence over our decision. And I thought your persistent anger was because of you being a priest and it being against your faith. It was not until several days later that I understood fully. It was not about you or your faith. It was about something – someone entirely different. Wasn't it?"

Athelstan sighed, watching her as she stepped closer and began to unbraid his hair as well. "Yes," he said simply.

She turned his back to her, working her fingers through his long hair. He'd never had it this long before, so he had no control over the shivers that shook his whole body as the braids came undone.

"I can't leave Lili," he whispered. "I swore to her that I never would. I promised her. And I never — "

"Break your promises," she repeated. "I understand."

She finished with his hair and untied the belt around his waist, dropping it to the ground before she lifted the tunic he wore up and over his head so he was naked from the waist up. When she touched a spot on his lower back, Athelstan almost pulled away, but she stopped him.

"Did someone do this to you?" she asked of the scars she was sure to find.

"Yes," he answered, knowing she was want to know more but unable to say anymore.

"Why?" she pressed.

"For the same reason it was done to Lili," he revealed.

She did not let go of him, nor did she allow him to move away from her. "Someone did this to punish you," she concluded.

Athelstan nodded, unable to say anything else.

"I am sorry, Athelstan," she said softly. Gently, she stroked the back of his head and then turned him to face her. "No one should ever go through what the two of you have endured. I did not realize when we chose you to be our sacrifice that we would be separating you from someone who needed you as much as you needed her. I thought she would adapt as she always has. I was wrong. I caused her and you pain over this, and that was not my intention at all. And that is why I am doing this. That is why I must sacrifice something to the gods, and to do that, I need you to be willing to sacrifice something with me."

He opened his mouth to argue, but she stopped him, placing her fingers over his mouth.

"Please," she whispered. "I know the reason why you were unwilling, and I understand. But when it comes to our lives and our fate, sometimes, we do not have a choice. You have been so gracious, and you have never asked for anything. This isn't a command, my dear friend. This is a request. Don't you think your God would grant me that much?"

Athelstan didn't know how to respond. He gazed over her face, still seeing her afraid but also desperate to the point of pleading with him. When she took her hand from his mouth, she leaned in until her lips were aligned with his, and before he could move away, she kissed him so gently that he flinched.

It wasn't like with Thyri. He'd been drunk and unstable on whatever Rollo had fed him earlier that day. And she had looked so different in the darkness, reaching for him and smiling at him. He'd never seen a woman like her before. She hadn't been like Lagertha or even Siggy. They had both been strengthened by marriage and children and life. Thyri had still been young and playful, but she had also more than likely never experienced much hardship before her father had died. And it had been her handling of him, along with everyone else, that had ultimately forced him to stop her.

Lagertha let go before he could think about it too much, lightly caressing his cheek and bowing her head so her forehead was against his mouth. For the first time in his life, Athelstan felt his heart splitting open to make room for this woman in front of him. It no longer felt like a sin to touch her or look at her or even share her bed even if all they'd done was sleep with Gyda and Lilith between them. The only thing stopping him was the vow he'd made to Father Cuthbert so long ago, or so it felt.

Hadn't he already broken part of that vow in the last two years by being in this place and with these people? He had sacrificed so much since arriving here, and now, finally, it felt like he was gaining something, no matter how small.

He leaned away from her, meeting her eyes with his and realizing why it was different. Athelstan hadn't known anything about Thyri when she approached him. But he knew everything about Lagertha. He knew her hopes and fears, her strengths and weaknesses. And that made this worth the sacrifice she said was needed.

Lagertha saw his decision before he said anything, nodding just once before she stepped away from him and began to remove her dress.

He opened his mouth to speak before she could untie the side of her dress, but he didn't know what he wanted to say. And then, in one swift movement, her blue dress was gone to reveal a simple shift that she had probably been sleeping in for days.

"Remove your pants and your boots," she instructed. "And get in the water. We must bathe first, and then I will show you."

Athelstan pushed out a heavy sigh, sitting down to pull off his boots and then rising to untie his pants so he could take them off as well. He had never been naked in front of anyone except the monks at the monastery, and some of his older instincts did not want him to be naked now. He had to fight all of them to face Lagertha as she pulled the shift she wore off to leave it on the ground. For a minute, he just stared at her face, not wanting to look down. Then she moved closer to him, and he had no choice.

Her skin was as pale as his, and pink as the softest flower that bloomed in Spring. Lagertha touched his face, even as his eyes skimmed over her torso to take in her body as she allowed him to do so. Her shoulders sloped in such a way that his fingers itched to touch her, in a way he'd never felt before, and it didn't feel wrong the way he'd been taught. Her breasts were fuller than Thyri's, both with age and stronger muscle underneath, as Lagertha had obviously been wielding a sword most of her life. And her belly was smooth and slightly rounded over until it met her wide hips. The blond thatch of hair between her legs made him blush so furiously that he thought he would have to sit down. But …

She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life, save the one from his dreams.

Finally, she lifted his chin to make him look at her face, noticing how he drank in her body and smiling only a little.

"So," she teased as she stepped close enough to drape her arms around his shoulders, "you are a man after all, Priest."

Athelstan laughed softly, not knowing what to do with his hands before he lifted them to her arms. "I am only human, my Lady."

She caressed his cheek, smoothing his hair from his face before she released him. "Into the water," she gestured, still smiling.

For once, he did not hesitate, kneeling to the edge of the spring and dropping in swiftly. She followed him, slipping beneath the surface to wet her hair before she drifted toward him and nodded for him to do the same as she had.

Without speaking, she turned his back to her and drifted to the middle of the spring, working her fingers through his hair to untangle it. After several minutes, she began rubbing his shoulders, and he realized she was cleaning him herself. No one had done that since he'd been a child, but this time, it had a completely different effect on him.

"How old were you when this was done to you?" Lagertha asked suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts as she touched the scars on his back.

"About how old Lili is now," he answered before he could change his mind. "She was eight at the time, and she had just started to become curious about the world away from the monastery. I knew I was forbidden to tell her about it, even if I only knew a little myself. When Father Cuthbert discovered what I had done, he punished me accordingly, and he made me swear I would never do it again. I never told Lili because I did not want her to be afraid of him. When I found out what he was doing to her without my knowledge, I was angrier than I had ever been in my life. That she had been made to endure something far worse than a lone punishment for breaking a rule. She had been punished for existing, for being the way she was, for refusing to follow his restrictions or his rules. And I swore I would protect her after that, because I had failed her for the first twelve years of her life."

"But you were a child yourself," she stressed as she had before. "How could you have known or done anything to stop him from harming her?"

"It isn't that," he admitted. "I was only a child, and I could not have stopped him. But I should have known. Maybe then I could have shared her punishment, and it would not have been so severe. Lili and I are the same, after all, and we should have been treated the same."

"How are you the same?" Lagertha asked as she cupped water over his shoulders.

He turned his head to her, speaking as plainly as he ever had. "I am an orphan, just like she was when she was left at the monastery. My family all died after I was sent there, and I was alone before she came. The other monks were always afraid of her, even the ones who tolerated her and made her clothes. I was the only one who treated her like a little girl. And I should have protected her. So I cannot leave her. I will not."

Lagertha wrapped her arms around his shoulders unexpectedly, causing Athelstan to gasp sharply. She didn't let go, stroking his hair still and kissing his shoulder gently. "I continue to learn new things about you every day, my dear friend. I did not realize your love for Lilith was so strong. And for that, I must beg your forgiveness. I see now that you were just as affected by what happened to her as she was. I should have seen. If I had, then I would not have agreed to make you our sacrifice at Uppsala." She leaned away and made him face her, cupping his face in her hands. "I did not know. It is no excuse, but it is the best I can offer you."

He knew she wanted him to say he forgave her, but honestly, he wasn't sure if he had yet. Though several weeks had passed since then, Lilith was still more adamant about having him close to her. It was still affecting her, and therefore, it still affected him as well.

"Are you afraid?" she whispered as gently as she could.

Athelstan nodded just once. "A little," he admitted.

She seemed to understand, nudging him away from her. "Go wait over there while I finish," she ordered. "Do not dress. We are not finished."

Athelstan felt his heart sink as his shoulders fell. He had hoped telling her everything would dissuade her from her goal, but she had only become more determined. Slowly, he did as she asked, moving to the rocks by the spring and pulling up out of the water. He did not dress, as she instructed, sitting and waiting for her to finish bathing herself.

It took her no more time than it had for her to wash him, and she rose up out of the water away from him, kneeling where she had deposited the linens and bringing them to him. With the white fabric in her arms, she pulled a knife out of them without saying anything, and Athelstan felt his heart in his throat instantly. He no longer saw her nakedness or that she was wet in front of him. He only saw the knife.

"My Lady," he pleaded trying to back away from her.

She knelt at his feet, the knife in one hand as she held out the other and swiped the blade over her extended palm. Blood blossomed over her skin, filling it as she cupped her hand and pressed her hands together. Then with her bloody hand, she reached for both of his. Athelstan obeyed reluctantly, watching her slash his opposite hand and press them together as she'd done to her own. He discovered it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, and when she opened his hands and lifted them to her face, he understood. She lay both her hands over his face, bidding him to allow her close, and he did so without hesitating.

Her warmth enveloped him immediately, and she wrapped her arms around him so her chest was against his and he could feel her heart pounding along with his. She didn't kiss him again, only keeping her face close to his as she commanded him and his attention easily.

"Do not be afraid."

He barely had time to nod before she began, reaching between their bodies for the one part of him he'd always been told would never be of need for anything like this.

His whole body became a tuning fork. Every time she moved or touched him or moaned against his mouth, it vibrated through his chest and settled in his gut, making it easier for her to touch him and stroke him. He felt her wetness before they came together, and he felt light-headed again. She grabbed his head, keeping him upright as she kept her eyes on him and bid him to do the same. There was really no need for it though.

Athelstan found he couldn't take his eyes off her.

He felt every part of her, her skin, her breasts, and even her breath, electrify his entire being, causing his hands to claim her waist to bring her closer to him. He felt himself giving in, and Lagertha could see that it was happening. She encouraged it, stroking him faster and coming even closer to him with her lips brushing against his, but she still didn't kiss him. Her warmth became like a fire, engulfing him completely.

Of a woman's body, Athelstan knew only what he'd learned all those years ago with his older sister and what he'd learned for Lilith's sake when she began bleeding. He'd never thought of it beyond that, and he never believed he would. Now he wished he had. What if he was meant to satisfy Lagertha the way she was working on satisfying him? He didn't know how to do that.

He knew the exact instant that she moved as close as she could and lowered her body over him. He came inside her so swiftly that she gasped when he did, and she held him close to her for nearly a minute before lowering her eyes to his and moving against him. The first movement took his breath away, as did the second and the third. Slowly, she increased the tempo, taking him with her until they were breathing in time with one another and moaning together.

When she began squeezing him inside her, Athelstan felt his skin tingle, and his eyesight turned almost white. But he didn't lose consciousness. In fact, he held onto her tighter, breathing her in deeper as he sank deeper inside her.

"Athelstan," she commanded softly. "Look at me."

He did as she said, feeling the center of his body coil so tight until there was nothing left to do but release the coil.

The instant it was quiet again, and Athelstan was laying on his back with Lagertha laying at his side, he felt his guilt return. Had he taken advantage of her being so emotional and so desperate? Had she taken advantage of him being so innocent and so trusting of her? He couldn't understand, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Was he truly lost to God now? Was his soul tainted now?

Lagertha rose to her elbow then, reaching for his face and making him look at her. "Stop all of those questions chasing themselves in your head," she pleaded. "You are not to blame, and neither am I. This was the gods, and we were commanded to obey. Isn't that how it is with your God?"

Silently, Athelstan just stared at her.

She sat up and pulled him to sit in front of her.

The blood from his hand still stained her face and every inch of her skin that he had touched, and he was sure her blood was still on him, but that did not seem to bother her.

"Athelstan, when we make a sacrifice to the gods, blood must be spilled. Usually, it is life we give up to them to please them and gain their protection. But that does not always need to be the case. Sometimes, it is something important to us that we must sacrifice to please them. You had never been with a woman until now, and that is your sacrifice. It does not make you any less virtuous or honorable. In fact, in my eyes, it makes you more so. And I had never been unfaithful to my husband, despite our many quarrels, and that is my sacrifice. But I still love him, and I am still loyal to him. Do you understand?" she questioned. She took his shoulders in her hands, shaking him a little. "Say you understand. And we will be finished."

He wanted to say he did, but he couldn't. He knew it would take a long time for him to understand this. So instead, he said the only thing he could. "I want to," he admitted.

Lagertha didn't press him as she had before, standing up from him slowly and stepping toward the water. "We must wash this away and get dressed," she decided. "And then I will dress your wound, if you will do the same for me."

He stood up to face her, realizing it was over. "Of course," he agreed.

Once all the blood was gone from their bodies, Lagertha gave Athelstan clean clothes to wear before she dressed in her own. He found he couldn't take his eyes off her as she sat on one of the rocks and began braiding her hair. He had always been fascinated by her, and now it was for a different reason. She looked up at him as he stared at her, sighing softly and reaching for him. He went to her easily, and she took his hand that was cut to dress it in a clean bandage.

"This will heal quickly," she said as she spread a salve over the cut to keep it from hurting and then wrapped it. "And you should change this at least every other day. Understand?"

Athelstan nodded, and she handed him a bandage for her hand as well as the salve. He worked quickly, gently covering her wound and then wrapping the linen around her hand. As soon as he was finished, she stood up and moved to get her shoes. Athelstan found he couldn't move from where he stood, watching her and feeling the dread from before slide back in.

She had everything packed and ready to go before she looked at him, lifting her eyebrows slightly. "Come on," she nodded and reached for him again.

With a heavy sigh, Athelstan followed her, allowing her to pull him away from the spring and keeping his head down as they walked back to town. He couldn't keep from looking at his bandaged hand and hers and worrying that everyone would know what they had done. And that worried him more than anything. Everyone would see. Someone would tell Ragnar. And then what would happen?

Lagertha took an alternate route into town, behind this building and that one, making it difficult for anyone to see them. They stepped into the long house through a side entrance that was currently unguarded, and she looked to the front of the house before she pushed him back to the private quarters where Siggy was now feeding the girls after their bath.

She saw them as soon as they stepped through the partition, rising to meet them. "Lagertha," she said and immediately looked down to see their bandaged hands. "You were both gone so long, I — "

"Take these to be washed," she ordered. "I do not wish them to be burned with the other clothes we have discarded."

Siggy paused, looking at Athelstan and almost trying to see something different about him.

"Siggy," Lagertha said, and she looked away from him. "Go on. It will be time for supper soon."

Silently, Siggy took the bundle and left, glancing back at them both as she did. When she was gone, Lagertha turned to Athelstan and lowered her voice.

"Tell no one of this," she commanded. "Just as we swore not to speak of Lilith's gift, we will not speak of this. We have sacrificed to the gods and nothing more. Hmm?"

He nodded, and she pulled him into her arm, claiming the back of his head.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, my friend," she whispered.

When she leaned back and cupped his cheek, Athelstan nodded again even if her words did nothing to diminish how he felt. He didn't know if anything ever would again.

"Athelstan!" Lilith called to him. "Can we paint until supper? We haven't done that in so long. Gyda and I want to paint. Edda and Þórunn want to learn."

He smiled despite himself, glancing at Lagertha as she nodded and nudged him toward where they were sitting.

"We will paint for as long as your heart desires," he promised Lilith, taking her and Gyda in his arms so they could find Edda and Þórunn and go to where the parchment and paints were kept.

Just before he disappeared to the very back room with the girls, he turned his head to look at Lagertha, remembering what they'd done and knowing it should not have happened but also understanding why it did. One day, he hoped he would feel differently about it, and he could see when she sighed that she felt the same way.

When Ragnar returned, they would both have to work hard to keep him from finding out from anyone else if it came to it. Athelstan worried about that more than anything. He didn't know how Ragnar would react and that scared him.

The painting and drawing lasted well into the afternoon, as Asa and Kindra brought supper to the table and prompted them to put the supplies away until after they had eaten. By then, Lagertha's mood had improved, and both her daughters noticed. Athelstan especially noticed, curious even if he never said anything to her. Lilith and Gyda both spoke up over their food.

"Mother, are you all right?" Gyda asked first.

Lagertha smiled a little as she ate, and she finished what was in her mouth before she also spoke. "I am fine, my child. It has been many weeks since the illness passed, and we're beginning to rebuild. This makes me happy. And having you here makes me happy. Should it not?"

Gyda grinned. "No, of course, it should. I'm glad you're better."

"As am I," Lagertha nodded.

Lilith glanced in Athelstan's direction, her eyes finding the bandage on his hand for probably the hundredth time even though she had not asked about it yet. "Mother, when you do think Father will be home?"

"I am not sure," she said and shook her head. "I sense that it will be sooner than we expect, but we do not know what King Horik has asked him to do. Therefore we cannot say how long it will take him to finish it. I hope he is careful in his dealings with the King. I want him back just as much as everyone else does."

"And Bjorn?" Gyda asked.

Lagertha smiled again and laughed. "Yes, and Bjorn. I want them both back, very much."

After supper, Athelstan sent Lilith and Gyda to get ready for bed with Edda and Þórunn, helping Asa clean up the table and carry the dishes to the kitchens. They were nearly finished when Asa spoke up.

"We will need to make new assignments here and in the bathhouse before Earl Ragnar comes back," she said, and he glanced back at her to see that she was looking at him.

He nodded. "And so we do. Ing— I mean, if you know of any of the servants who would do well, we will meet them tomorrow."

She sighed softly, stepping away from where the food was being pressed to make grain for the next day. "I miss her as well," she said without saying the name. "We all feel her absence, as I'm sure the girls feel it as well. It will be many months before this passes, and we will all need to help each other. I will help you, Athelstan, if you will help me."

She inclined her head, prompting him to nod and agree.

"Of course I will help you. If you will take over in the kitchens, just as she did, then I will take care of everything with Lagertha and the girls."

That ended the conversation as she bowed her head and moved away to finish what she had previously been doing. Athelstan finished as well, leaving the kitchen with a glance back at her and feeling relief for the first time in weeks. It finally felt like everything was returning to normal.

Athelstan stepped out into the main rooms of the long house, discovering the same hearth from his vision of Thor filling the room as the same trees rose up into the night sky. By the hearth, he saw the woman from his dreams sitting and waiting for something. She glowed like a beacon, lifting her hand and beckoning him to her. He went to her without hesitation, and when she reached for his hand, it was the bandaged one she took in hers.

The darkness evaporated instantly, replaced by a small meadow filled with blue and yellow wild flowers. He stood at the center of it, enveloped in the warmth of the sun. The hand in his brought his attention to her as she still sat in front of a small hearth. For a minute, he was confused. He knew this woman was someone that Lilith would one day become, and it seemed in his dreams and visions of her that she was always surrounded by light and joy. He remembered seeing her after the illness, how her cool touch had soothed his fever. He knew Lilith had stayed with him until she had gone off with Gyda to save her.

Why was he seeing her now?

"Athelstan."

Lagertha's voice disrupted the vision, and he was back in the dark room of the long house. He turned to see her behind him with a concerned look about her face.

"Are you all right?" she asked softly. "You were just standing there."

He took a deep breath, looking back at the hearth and discovering it vacant of people. He sighed and bowed his head. "Yes, my lady. I am all right. I am simply tired."

She took his arm in her hands and gently pulled him back toward the private rooms where she and the girls slept. "Then you should sleep," she said. "And you should sleep in a proper bed tonight. I meant what I said about Ragnar coming back sooner than we expect. And if that happens, we will all need our rest and our strength."

They arrived at her dark room a moment later, and while she moved around lighting the torches, Athelstan remained planted at the door, watching her. She began to untie the back of her dress, glancing back at him.

"Help me with this, will you, please, my dear Athelstan?"

He hesitated a little, crossing the room slowly until he was behind her, and she pulled her hair over her shoulder so he could unfasten her dress. Once that was done, he moved away, and she pulled the dress off. For the longest two or three seconds, she was naked as she pulled a new nightgown over her head and then sat down to pull her hair down. He didn't follow her until she again glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Athelstan," she said and nodded for him.

He huffed and did as she said, coming up behind her to help take down her hair.

"Things do not have to change between us," she assured him. "What we did is not so different from what you would have done with Thyri. Would you have been nervous around her if you had gone through with it?"

"It's different," he stated, even as he eased his fingers through her hair to undo her braids. "And she was not married to the man who could still kill me if he saw fit." He finished and stepped away, huffing as she turned to face him. "But it didn't happen with her. I barely knew anything about her. It happened with you, Lagertha. And it cannot happen again."

She reached for his hand, remaining seated as she lifted her gaze to his. "I understand," she murmured. "And I agree. But we are still friends, and family. I do not want what we did to change that. Would it be unfair of me to still need you as a friend to talk to when I am in need of it?"

Athelstan squeezed her hand. "Of course not. I don't want it to change anything either. That is why I am so terrified that it will without either of us realizing it. And if that happens, neither of us will be able to stop it."

She began to stand, but he stopped her.

"I should go back to the hearth," he said and released her hand. "I'll see you in the morning."

He didn't give her a chance to stop him, hurrying back to the main rooms of the long house and finding a bench to sleep on that was pushed up against the wall. First he sat down, thinking of Lagertha's naked body and how it had felt against his. He squeezed his eyes shut, laying over the bench on his back and staring up at the ceiling as the fires from outside danced along the rafters.

He couldn't pray to God for strength or forgiveness anymore. He knew that was pointless. And now, he couldn't pray to Odin or Thor, because he knew that would do him no good. Now, he truly felt lost.

And that's the end of Part One. And I hope it met all of your expectations. I know it met mine.

Now, for Part Two. I'm writing it now, but it is only about halfway finished. I'm aiming right now to begin posting it closer to the summer, just like this story was posted, but we'll see. If I can get more done before then, I might move it up.

Part Two is looking to be quite a bit longer than Part One, so I'm excited to have you all read it.

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, everyone who has followed this and put it in their favorites. If you have any remaining questions, don't hesitate to drop me a line.

For now, I'm marking this as complete!

See you next time!