"So," Gwaine says, and takes a huge swallow of mead, and swipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, "what's the deal with that Mary Collins lady anyway? Don't think I ever heard that one."

"Evil sorceress," Merlin explains, around an enormous mouthful of stew. "Tried to kill Arthur. Twice."

"No," Arthur says, and frowns at Merlin, over his own bowl of soup, "once." He's pretty sure he'd have noticed if an evil old sorceress tried to kill him twice, thank you very much.

"Twice," Merlin says, again. "The song."

"Doesn't count," Arthur insists. "The song was supposed to kill everyone."

"Yeah, but she was going to kill you first." Merlin slurps down another spoonful of stew and grins. "Flattering, isn't it?"

Arthur snorts. "Being a murderous magical woman's prime target? Oh, yes."

"Let me guess," Gwaine interrupts them. "You saved him." He points at Merlin.

Merlin's grin gets a little wider. "What would give you that idea?"

"The sorceress had a knife on her," Leon says. "No one else even saw her draw it."

Merlin jabs at the last of the stew in his bowl with his spoon, and shrugs. "I just looked at her at the right moment," he says. "Nothing special."

"My life is very special, Merlin," Arthur says, and flicks a little spray of stew off his spoon at Merlin. "I trust you to remember that."

"The rest of us hadn't even had the chance to reach for our swords," Leon tells Gwaine. "And Merlin was halfway across the hall when the sorceress threw the knife. He got there so fast, it was like—"

"Magic?" Gwaine jumps in. The corners of his mouth tilt up.

Arthur rolls his eyes. Honestly. "Don't be stupid, Gwaine, even Merlin wouldn't have done magic in front of the entire court—"

Merlin coughs.

The warning bells start going off in Arthur's head. "Merlin," he says, "look at me, Merlin, tell me you didn't—"

"All right," Merlin says, far too quickly, like a drowning man grasping desperately for a lifeline, without looking up at Arthur, "all right, I didn't."

Elyan holds up a hand. "Merlin," he says, wide-eyed, "Merlin, come on, you didn't actually—?"

"It was only a little," Merlin says, defensively, like that makes anything any better at all. He jabs at his stew with his spoon again.

"In front of the entire court?" It's a lucky thing Arthur already decided his servant was mad a long time ago. He shakes his head a little. "Did you have a death wish?"

"No one noticed!" And then Merlin's got the nerve to add, very pointedly, no less, "No one ever noticed."

Oh. Well. All right. There's really nothing Arthur can say to that one. Well, except—

"Shut up, Merlin."

There, that's better.

Notes: Oh, gosh, this one's just so silly and pointless. Make of it what you will!