I'm sorry, I was really nervous about this and... well... there's plenty more excuses, but I'll just get on with it. Nobody wants a ten page author's note... right?

Anyways... I hope this answers your questions, but if you have more, I'll try to work them into the next chapter. This is pretty much an info chapter, and it's not very long, but I'll try to get a bigger one up by next Saturday.

Some of this story will probably sound a little less believable than canon regarding Shikamaru's intelligence, but I think that with above 200 IQ, there's no telling what the hell he's capable of. I'll try not to make him too OP... -_-' but really, if I can come up with a nasty, outrageously amazing plan, then he can too. Other than battle tactics and things like that, his overall motivation is a lot higher than in canon, so I think things will be done a little faster.

Lauravenclaw: Sorry, I really should've explained it earlier. He doesn't actually know about Minato being Kakashi's sensei, or why Kakashi took pity on Naruto. I hope this chapter explains everything else, and thank you for pointing this out to me.

Bluecean: Spoilers! Shika's not a psychic. That might be a cool idea for another story... MC, psychic Shikamaru. That's one I'd like to see.

Great, monstrous AN concluded. Sorry about the cats...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, he would be blowing Konoha up... repeatedly.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Shikamaru! What are you doing? You're going to be late for training!" Naruto whined, poking his friend repeatedly in the shoulder.

"Troublesome. He's going to be at least an hour late. Do I really have to move now?" Shikamaru sighed, staring up at the fluffy clouds coasting by on the wind.

Honestly, how did I manage to uncover so many ridiculous secrets? They really need to increase their security...

-Flashback-

Shikamaru was sitting in the academy, minding his own business, when a disruptive shout broke through his daydream about clouds.

The red, slitted eyes, the demon and fox related insults, the fact that literally nothing that I know of can make a whole village hate a child more than the famed Kyuubi himself, and now this?

It's October tenth, and Naruto is shouting happily about his birthday.

I think this warrants research.

Shikamaru found himself in the library after school, sneaking into prohibited sections to look for information about the Kyuubi.

He finally discovered a book on Tailed Beasts, and what he read in there told him everything.

'Chakra constructs cannot be killed, but they can be sealed into human sacrifices, Jinchuriki. Only a newborn child's chakra system can adapt to withstand the overwhelming burden of a Tailed Beast.'

Shikamaru obviously didn't want to get involved, but upon meeting with Naruto after their team assignments, he couldn't ignore it any longer.

He first searched for Naruto's birth certificate, and found Naruto's relations to Lord Fourth and Jiraiya of the Sannin.

He researched a bit about Jiraiya, and found that he was a spy master and wrote a series of adult themed books in his spare time.

Just to be sure, he went to his father.

"Dad, why does Jiraiya of the Sannin never visit the village?"

"He's preoccupied with 'research' for his 'books'."

After that, having learned all he needed to about the so-called 'godfather'...

"Naruto has so many scars, and he's the Jinchuriki! Does he not have a guard?"

His father promptly got up from his spot on the couch and made his way to the Hokage tower.

After he came back...

"He did have a guard, but that guard, your sensei now, told him about the attacks. He dismissed him from the position, and started sending him on S-rank missions to keep him busy. Also..."

"What, dad?"

"Ah, it's nothing."

Shikamaru didn't press any further. His dad didn't withhold information without a reason, and he was pretty sure he knew what that reason was.

"Why did you tell me about Sensei?"

"You should know. A team needs to be able to trust each other, no matter what."

-End Flashback-

Shikamaru still wondered why his father told him. His team was now a flight risk, and a possible danger to the village.

Then again, Shikaku did seem pretty angry...

Not nearly as much as his son was, but still.

'I'd rather anger the Hokage than a Nara.' Choji's dad has once whispered to his son, who had instantly relayed it to his best friend in confusion.

Maybe Shikaku was plotting something. Planting the seeds for rebellion in Shikamaru...

He nearly chuckled, shaking his head incredulously and turning the thought around in his expansive mind.

Really, his father wouldn't do something so rash as to leave the delicate art of sweet revenge in his inexperienced son's hands...

Would he?

"Shikamaru, come on!" Naruto whined, tugging at his arm.

With a sigh and a muttered 'troublesome', he complied and followed his impatient friend to the barren training ground, thinking of revenge all the while.

"What took you so long?" Ino huffed as they entered the designated meeting place, hands on hips. "What if sensei had shown up on time today?"

Both boys stared at her blankly.

Both proceeded to burst out laughing.

"That's not the point! You guys forgot about me yesterday! You could've warned me before you got all mushy..." She grumbled. "And you owe me! I have to keep your stupid secret now!" She said as she pointed an accusing finger at them.

The laughing immediately stopped.

Did we say anything about the Kyuubi?

Naruto panicked, glancing at Shikamaru for an explanation.

"What secret?" The Nara asked carefully, his features impassive.

"You know, the whole thing about the Hokage. I can't tell any of my friends, and you guys are like the only people I can actually confide in, and you're guys." She ranted, practically hissing the last word.

"What's so bad about that?" Naruto pouted, flopping down on the grass to wait out their teacher.

"Girls are difficult to understand, so we can't effectively comfort her. We'll just say all of the wrong things, and she'll get even more upset." Shikamaru explained for him, hoping he hadn't stepped on any land mines.

Ino seemed pleased enough, and he allowed himself a relieved sigh.

"Exactly. You're about as useful as a wall." She declared haughtily.

"Okay, now that that's settled, why don't we go look for sensei?" Shikamaru proposed, attempting to avoid war between the volatile members of his team.

"I'll send out my clones!" Naruto exclaimed as he made the clone sign, followed by a bunch of popping sounds and a giant cloud of smoke.

Once team Seven was done coughing, the village was swarmed by a hundred transformed Naruto clones.

"That was a little overkill..." Shikamaru sighed tiredly, his energy depleted from the long, tedious task of research.

"Sorry..." Naruto apologized sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

The team waited for about ten minutes before a transformed squirrel clone enters the training field, trying to talk without human vocal cords.

"Dude, you're still transformed." Naruto commented exasperatedly to his poor clone, completely oblivious to the implications of his exasperation towards himself.

Even Naruto can't understand Naruto.

"Ah, sorry 'bout that..." the clone blushed. "But never mind that! You have to see this!" He shouted to his creator, waving his arms around frantically.

"Can't you just tell us?" Naruto asked annoyedly, crossing his arms.

The irony.

"No, you have to see it!" The clone demanded, motioning for them to follow him.

They obliged, if only to humour the clone.

But, after crossing half of Konoha, they couldn't help but think that the reaction was warranted.

"What... is this?" Ino asked, staring at the crowd gathering before their sensei.

A crowd of cats. Just staring.

"Are they... in a staring contest?" Naruto asked incredulously, grabbing at his head like it might help him make sense of the situation.

"There was only one when I got here..." the shadow clone whispered as another cat joined the party.

"Is our sensei..." Shikamaru paused, nearly unable to force the words out. "A... crazy cat lady?"

"They're just staring at each other. What is this?" Naruto sounds distressed, now blinking repeatedly.

"Aw... here, little kitties..." Kakashi cooed while holding out a raw fish, which was promptly devoured as the cats swarmed him with loud purrs.

"What..."

"No..."

"Aw..."

Were team sevens' simultaneous responses.

Both blondes stared at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stared back.

"Not a word." He warned, turning his attention to the crowded field of cats while taking his ponytail out, unsuccessfully trying to hide his face with his hair.

While Naruto was ultimately entranced, Ino pestered her teammate.

This continued until Kakashi delicately placed the cats back on the ground, casually throwing a kunai into the bushes where his frightened team was hiding.

"I trust you'll keep this... between us?" He growled icily, his tone turning the question into a clear command.

"Yes, sensei!" Team Seven answered hurriedly, scurrying off to their designated training ground in hopes that he might forgive them if they're obedient enough.

The hopes were dashed when the sadistic grin came out to play on Kakashi's face, and the day was followed by the most rigorous training any of them had ever experienced.