Detective Tazaki feels that his partner should stop using his wife against him. Detective Yin feels that her partner should just buy the stupid DVDs already. It's been an impasse ever since they joined the RCPD.

An excerpt from my Cop/Doctor AU, more of which you can find in A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That and Bending Conventions, if you're so inclined.

December 1st – Vigilantes

DETECTIVE SECOND-GRADE (HOMICIDE) ZUKO TAZAKI WAS IN SOMETHING OF AN ETHICAL QUANDARY. On the one hand, he was standing in the electronics section of a large department store, his eldest daughter Korra's fourteenth birthday was just around the corner, and he was staring right at a bright and shiny DVD box set containing the latest season of his daughter's most recent favorite show of all time. Not only that, but since the show was massively popular, he, his physician wife Katara, his mother, his sister, even Toph, Katara's old roommate, had spent the past few weeks trying to find this very box set, ultimately in vain. Zuko had even considered calling up his buddies back in the Fire Nation, where the show was from, to see if one of them had a connection or three to shake, and then, lo and behold, he found himself just stumbling upon it at three in the morning, hours before the store was due to open.

On the other hand, he was there because the overnight cleaning crew had found a dead body in one of the dumpsters, and thus, ethical quandary.

Sure, it was an ethical quandary of the kind only he would worry about, but he felt that it was no less valid and serious for that.

"You know," his partner and longtime friend Detective Second-Grade (Homicide) Suki Yin said, smoothly sliding into position next to him, "if you're for some bizarre reason worried that it would look bad if you bought something for your kids while on duty, you could just ask one of the warm bodies from Patrol to buy it for you."

Zuko frowned as he tapped a finger on his chin. "No, that wouldn't be fair. Plus, what if their kids want it, too? It is one of the top-rated shows on the whole planet right now."

"Yeah," Suki said, sighing and shoving her hands deep into her coat pockets, "that's true. I hadn't thought of that."

"Besides," Zuko continued, his heart sinking with every word, he could almost feel the stupid DVDs slipping from his grasp and vanishing into a dark void labeled, Worst Father Ever, "the store doesn't open for another two hours, and I don't have any cash on me."

Suki turned away from the display to face him, and Zuko didn't have to look at her to know that she was quirking one eyebrow up, her mouth twisted into a bemused expression that all but screamed, Why am I friends with you again? "And…? Come on, Zuko, I'm sure the manager has been told to be the perfect picture of cooperation. Guy will probably give you the damn thing for free."

Zuko barely suppressed the urge to physically recoil from the suggestion. "Really, Suki? I can't just take it for free."

"And why not? I won't rat you out, and if I did, no one would care."

"It wouldn't be right."

Suki's eye roll was large enough to have an actual gravitational pull. "You're going to be the death of me one of these days, you know that, right?"

Zuko could only shrug. "You've been saying that since the Academy."

"Whatever. How about we call Katara, ask her what she thinks about this little conundrum."

Zuko frowned. "Since when was conundrum a word said with a sneer?"

"Since now. Well?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's three in the gods-damn morning, and she's asleep."

"Oh, please. I've known you two lovebirds long enough to know that she sleeps light as a feather when you're not in the bed with her."

"Lovebirds?"

"Would you rather I use your sister's description?"

"Which one? She has many."

"You're deflecting."

"Am not. The CI crew come up with anything new?"

"Not in the fifteen minutes since you came inside. You're still deflecting."

"I don't know what you're talking about. The initial tox screen come back yet?"

"You know it hasn't. Seriously, if you won't listen to me, call your wife."

"I never listen to you, Suki."

"Hence why I'm always telling you to call your wife."

"I really can't wake her up for this, it would be silly."

Suki groaned and smacked a palm to her forehead, running her fingers down her face as she picked up one of the box sets with her free hand. "What is this, anyways?"

"The Blue Spirit and the Painted Lady. They're a pair of vigilantes, tasked by the gods to rid the Fire Nation of crime. Korra's obsessed with it."

"Doesn't that worry you?"

"Doesn't what worry me?"

"That your daughter idolizes a pair of masked vigilantes when her father's a cop?"

"The Painted Lady doesn't wear a mask, she uses her special powers and special make-up, and besides, it not only has some very positive messages, but it can be downright educational at times. It's even sparked Korra's interest in Fire Nation mythology."

"I was just about to say that it looks like Fire Nation animation. It any good?"

"It is, actually! It's very much geared towards teenagers, but the animation's good and the writing is top-notch."

"Hm, I might have to check it out. What does Ursa think?"

Zuko chuckled, remembering the last time Korra had tried to get her eleven-year-old little sister to sit down and watch the show. "That, seeing as the show lacks beautiful princesses, handsome princes, and garishly colored precocious animals, it is simply not worth her time."

Suki threw back her head and laughed. "That's my girl! Which reminds me, I need to bring the third season of My Little Ostrich-Pony back next time I'm over. It ended on just the worst cliffhanger, and I have got to see what happens next."

"I can't believe you like that show."

Suki swatted him on the arm with the box. "Hush, you, it's amazing and you know you secretly like it. So, going to call your wife?"

"Like I said, Katara's sleeping and with all the long shifts the hospital's been throwing her way lately, she needs every minute she can get."

"Uh huh. You just don't want to call because she'll agree with me, and then you'll have to buy the damn thing right here and now, your annoying idea of honorable conduct be damned."

Zuko finally turned to his partner. "And why would I have to do that, just because I talked to Katara?"

Suki shot him a stunningly incredulous look. "Seriously? We going to go there?"

"I am capable of telling my wife no."

"Since when?"

"I tell her no all the time!"

"Name once."

Zuko tried to think of an occasion, he really did. "Look, shouldn't we get back to the dead body on the loading dock?"

Suki waved the objection away. "He can wait a bit. Tell you what, I bet ten won that, within five minutes of calling Katara, you'll be in the manager's office, asking if he can sell you this very box."

Zuko knew a trap when he saw one, and this was easily one of the most egregious that he had ever encountered. It was almost shameful, how obvious it was. A RCPD detective should really be capable of better.

And yet…

"Make it twenty, and you're on."

Suki reached into the inner pocket of Zuko's blazer, removed his mobile, and held it out to him. "Deal."

The most humiliating part, Zuko felt, wasn't how hard the manager tried to insist on letting Zuko have the DVDs for free (the man eventually settled for giving Zuko the employee discount). No, the most humiliating part was the way Suki belted out the theme song for My Little Ostrich-Pony all the way to the ATM.

It's the first day and I'm technically at work, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet. This is the Cop/Doctor AU, you can find more of it elsewhere, and the basic premise is that we're in a modern-day version of Republic City, Zuko's a cop, Katara's a doctor, and they have two daughters, Korra, the eldest, and Ursa, the youngest.

Oh, and while we're, my wife is pregnant again, and we're happily awaiting the arrival of our second at the end of May, but none of you cared to know that, right?

Moving on! In tomorrow's episode, Katara's not mad that Zuko didn't tell Aang or Sokka, no, she's mad that he didn't tell her. Stay tuned!