Vegeta was still and silent. Over the past hour, he had listened, questioned, re-worded, denied and eventually accepted Skorch's explanations. What truly annoyed him was how simple everything seemed. From what he had been told, the tournament… was just that. A simple tournament with some admittedly massive stakes, those being the Super Dragon Balls, but a tournament nonetheless. When Beerus and Champa had proposed this, he had assumed this would involve some level of planet-wide destruction, screaming and firing beams at people, and coming dangerously close to losing those he cared for. But this? Aside from the ominous warning that there would be a fighter 'Who would look VERY familiar, but wasn't who they looked like', Vegeta felt pretty confident about the fighters he most likely would end up against.

With the rest of the dragon crew, some had dispersed after seeing the admittedly terrible but in a very backwards way kind of enjoyable Evolution film, with Skorch explaining more of the history behind the film. Namely the writer's regret over his minimal knowledge of the DB lore. Eventually, the rest decided to continue watching the Death Battles. However, when they switched back to the Death Battle, a message appeared on screen:

Please change discs to continue

"Wow. We went through the first disc already?" Goku asked, surprised. "It didn't feel like we've seen that many…"

"Well, there was the few before we met Skorch, the ones after that… actually, we've seen a fair number of these. If I had to guess, somewhere around sixteen." Piccolo shrugged. "How many do you think there are?"

"Over one hundred." Skorch remarked, walking by. "Don't worry. We ain't running out anytime soon."

"So, which disc has what?" Krillin asked, looking from the entity to the discs.

"…Well…" Skorch began, his tone one of someone who wasn't about to give a simple answer. "Disc two begins with two samurai ninja swordsmen goin' at it, and disc three begins with another one of you guys going at it."

"What. One of us!?" Was shouted by a few.

"Yup."

"Who!?"

"Where would the fun be in that?" Skorch smirked, annoying most of those present. "Tell ya what. I'll get another TV set up over there, and those that wanna watch the Dragon Ball one can head over there. Those that wanna watch sword dudes, stay here. Everyone else? I dunno. Do sudoku or something. I guess, uh, I'm not good at those…"

"About how long are we talking?"Tien asked, raising a brow.

"By the time this one is done, the other should be starting."

Everyone looked to one another, then shrugged. Some of the fighters heading off to get food or rest, others to see what else was going on. Skorch headed off to start setting up another tv, while Krillin shrugged and put 'Disc Two' into the player. After a few minutes, a logo appeared of a chicken and a chattering teeth gag. No scratch that. A rooster. The logo for 'Rooster Teeth' came and went, and then the auto play continued.

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

"Ninjutsu. Originally created by farmers to kill their oppressive samurai lords, the ninja has become one of the deadliest killers in history." Wiz began as old-style kaiga depicting black and dark-blue clad ninjas fighting in a masterful balance of speed and precision were shown.

"Like Ryu Hayabusa, the ultimate Dragon Ninja from Ninja Gaiden." Boomstick introduced the first of the two fighters. He was a more 'traditional ninja' so to say, despite not having sleeves, he wore black leather and had an interesting headpiece. All along his body, knives and blades were affixed, but seemed to be small enough that at a first glance, one wouldn't notice them. Aside from the long blade.

"And Strider Hiryu, the high-tech mercenary from the Strider arcade games." Wiz added as the second fighter was shown, this one had a long red scarf, a purple shirt, and an interesting blade, with this one behind held backwards.

"So, the first guy's name is Dragon Falcon." Krillin remarked. "That… that's a pretty cool name."

"He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!"

"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win... a Death Battle." Wiz concluded as the doors closed.

"Weird thought, how do you think these two guys met?" Videl asked, thinking it over.

"Wiz and Boomstick? They… huh." Yamcha began but trailed off. "They act like they've known each other for years, yet they also… don't? If that makes sense."

"They seem to have a strong work relationship, but I don't know if it's anything beyond that." Lazuli shrugged. "And I highly doubt they're related."

RYU HAYABUSA

The doors opened on a shot of a man's face wearing a hood and mask covering his face except for his angered eyes with 'I will get my revenge!' appearing beneath it.

"A prodigy in the arts of combat, stealth and swordsmanship and given a name literally translating to 'Dragon Falcon', Ryu Hayabusa was born into Dragon Lineage legacy; and as required, he would be trained from childhood to walk the path of a ninja." Wiz introduced as Ryu Hayabusa was shown. He looked nothing like Ryu from Street Fighter, that was sure. He wore all black and gray, with only part of his face and hands visible. "A way of life plagued with danger, pain and sorrow, Ryu was trained in the ways of the ninja from the moment he could crawl."

"And yet you come out looking like an absolute badass." Goten shrugged.

"Until you lose your eye. Or hand. Or life." Yamcha replied, shrugging somewhat. "But still, yeah."

"You guys think this Ryu is going to be anything like the Ryu who fought Scorpion?" Lazuli asked with a raised brow. "I mean, the fighting style and get up is completely different, and he just gives off a different vibe."

"He seems more aggressive, that much is for certain." Piccolo nodded. "And it's clear their fighting style isn't alike, at least, it doesn't seem to be."

"How are you supposed to keep a baby in their crib when they can freakin' back-flip out of it?" Boomstick asked redundantly. Before anyone could reply, a baby smashed through a small building of blocks and then backflipped onto the edge of its crib. Landing in a crane stance and looking around the room.

"Huh." Yamcha blinked.

A few of the fighters cast a glance over to Videl, who was holding the sleeping Pan in her arms, not paying attention to what was going on around her. Come to think of it, what was it like raising a Sayian baby? Regardless, a few of the fighters were already impressed with the second Ryu.

BACKGROUND

Height: 179 cm / 5'10"

Weight: 78 kg / 172 lbs

Age: 25

Began Training at Three Months (That surprised a number of the fighters)

A.K.A. Dragon Ninja, Master Ninja, The Ultimate Ninja

Occupation: Antique Shop Owner ("Really?!" Videl asked, surprised.)

Animal Spirit: Peregrine Falcon

Hobbies: Mountain Climbing, Fishing, Eating Sushi, Being the Main Character in Unfairly Difficult Arcade Games, Kicking Ass

Tends to be Overlooked in the General Scope of 'Memorable Video Game Characters'

"The Peregrine Falcon?" Trunks asked. "Is that supposed to represent something?"

"In some cultures, it represents speed, superiority, determination, loyalty, strength, wisdom, freedom, focus, ambition, and aspiration. As a solar symbol, it defines victory and the ability to rise above all situations." Yamcha answered, listing off some of the meanings of the Spirit Animal. He had studied animals and their symbolisms in the past, always intrigued by what different animals meant, and he could see why a ninja like Ryu had this as his animal.

"Needless to say, Ryu far exceeded his clan's expectations." Wiz continued as a young boy was shown training with wooden swords, masterfully ducking back and forth between two oncoming attackers. Not a single strike managed to come close to tapping him, and every strike was masterfully parried, deflected, or dodged. "When he turned 18, he donned the traditional blue garb..."

(*Cues: The Night of Lukifell - Ninja Gaiden*)

"Then single-handedly defeated both the criminal cult of Nostradomis and the army of Emperor Garuda." Wiz added, as a large, muscular, older man was shown wearing a mask, beaten and bloodied. Looking at Ryu in anger.

"You think… this… changes anything? You think you can stop-"

SHULK!

In a swift and silent strike, the older man's hand shot to his throat, a long, bleeding cut along it. Then, with a sickening tearing sound, his head lolled backwards and the flesh seemed to rip apart thanks to the cut and it fell backwards, snapping off from his neck.

"Yes. It will." Was all Ryu said.

"Okay, this is gonna be one of THOSE battles." Lazuli blinked, not having expected the graphic decapitation.

"This should be good." Vegeta smirked, surprised by how fast Ryu seemed to move, given the fact that he was human and all.

"I thought ninjas wore black most of the time." Goten remarked.

"And before you ask, while in popular media Ninjas are clad in black and gray, traditionally, they would also wear dark blue to help them blend into the night skies better." Boomstick noted.

"That makes sense."

"Sure, they seem a bit cooler in black, but the dark blue is easier to use when you're running around at night and don't want to be seen." Yamcha added.

"You know a lot about this…" Lazuli blinked, looking to the Ex-Swordsman.

"Heh, in some ways, I used to be one. More of a samurai or Ronin, but still. It was part of my training."

"Oh yeah, and that was before his father gave him the True Dragon Sword: a single-edged katana carved from the fang of a FREAKING DRAGON." Boomstick added with awe in his voice. "Which when combined with the mystical eye of the dragon, becomes a divine blade of ultimate power."

Despite the name and fact that it was made out of the blade of a dragon, the design was… somewhat disappointing. The Dragon Crew expected some sort of blade that looked like a dragon, or was jagged and designed to be a weapon of death. But it looked like a regular katana with dragons inscribed on it.

TRUE DRAGON SWORD

Hayabusa Clan Heirloom

Carved From a Dragon's Fang (Many of the fighters now wanted a sword made of one.)

Eye of the Dragon Unleashes the Sword's Full Power

Divine Blade

Practically Indestructible

Weak-Willed Cannot Wield It ("So, a Mjolnir sword?" Goku asked.)

True Power is Said to Upset The Balance of a Peaceful World (Everyone looked to one another in confusion)

"Don't ask what that last one means." Skorch remarked, passing by with a tool box and beer.

"If someone got one of Shenron's teeth… would that make a wish-granting sword?" Krillin asked, having a weird thought come to his mind. "Come to think of it, that might make it easier than finding the Dragon Balls…"

"That might mean we have to find the Dragon Balls just to use the thing." Yamcha countered.

"Still, a wish-granting sword? That's a cool idea." Goku nodded, thinking over the idea. "But I don't know if Shenron's teeth are big enough to make a full blade like that."

"Have you SEEN how big Shenron's teeth are!?" Vegeta blinked, looking to his rival in disbelief.

"And as if being a holy sword made of a Dragon's Tooth wasn't enough, it also has an unusual and serious security system." Wiz added. "Due to incantations and enchantments, if anyone other than a strong-willed Hayabusa attempts to wield it, the True Dragon Sword will slowly burn, feed and eventually devour the wilder's soul. Leaving them an empty husk with nothing left to move onto the afterlife."

"Again, with the souls…" Roshi muttered. "This is at least the fifth or sixth one…"

"Well, that said why though." Yamcha answered. "Destroy someone's soul, there's nothing left for them. No heaven, no hell, no coming back… That's kinda of terrifying."

"I need that kind of tech for my car! Teach those damn caddy-smashing raptors a lesson…" Boomstick muttered as footage of Riptor smashing into his car. Which again, got a bit of a laugh.

(*Cues: Ninja Gaiden - Main Theme*)

"In addition, Ryu has an enormous arsenal of various weaponry." Wiz continued, beginning to list off weapons as Ryu was shown fighting with multiple weapons. "Not including his martial art fighting styles, his weaponry includes the Lunar Staff, Falcon´s Talons, a Kusarigama, which is basically a chain-sickle, numerous types of, shurikens, bombs, bows, etc., etc.…"

ARSENAL

LUNAR STAFF

Long Staff With Metal Spiked End

FALCON'S TALONS

Metal Bladed Gauntlets Worn on Hands and Feet ("…someone write that down." Vegeta ordered.)

KUSARI-GAMA

"Chain-Sickle" Weapons ("Those things are tough to use…" Yamcha muttered, rubbing a scar on his arm.)

SHURIKENS

Regular, Explosive, & Windmill

FIEND'S BANE BOW

Silent Bow

Long-Range Fire

Bow Can Be Used As A Mele Weapon ("Can't anything be used as a melee weapon?" Goku asked, somewhat sarcastically.)

SMOKE BOMB

"Man, I love those things…" Hercule smirked somewhat.

VIGORIAN FLAIL

Super-Fast Weapons

Most Useful at Close-Quarters

Effectively a Pair of Sickles Connected in a Similar Sense to Nunchucks

HOWLING CANNON

An Enormous Matchlock Rifle

Just Over a Meter In Length

Booming Sound and Violent Recoil Demand Superb Mental Focus and Physical Strength

"Okay, aside from the fact that most of us would probably shatter our arms and or legs, and or eardrums, that thing is AWSOME." Krillin stated, and no one had any objections. As if on cue, Skorch walked by holding one.

"They're also great for wake-up pranks!" He stated, his skull grinning demonically, and almost immediately, everyone felt a need to learn to sleep with one eye open.

TONFAS

WAR HAMMER

SPEAR GUN

NUNCHAKU

BARE FISTS

OTHER STUFF

"…and the Eclipse Scythe: a weapon forged by werewolves and quenched in the blood of living human beings. Because some people just have to do things the hard way." Wiz concluded. A rather simple-looking scythe was shown, but it was also very big. On top of that, a large wolf-beast appeared in what seemed like a colosseum, holding the scythe and ready to fight Ryu.

ECLIPSE SCYTHE

A Very Large Scythe

Forged by Werewolves, Quenched in the Blood of Living Human Beings

Second Strongest Weapon Ryu Has Access to, Second Only to the True Dragon Sword

"Sure, it might be the harder way, but it's also much cooler that way." Goten shrugged.

"So, Werewolves are talented weapon smiths? I didn't expect that." Roshi conceded. "We should try and find a werewolf, he might be of use to us in the long run."

"Just as long as he and Beerus don't tear each other apart." Piccolo smirked.

"I heard that!" The God shouted.

"I feel like we're ignoring the fact that ninjas and werewolves exist in the same world." Trunks spoke up, raising a very good point. "That is one of the coolest things I have ever heard of. Why is this not something we know about?!"

"Eh, different dimensions, different realms?" Roshi shrugged. "To be fair though, Ryu's pretty damn impressive. It's one thing to run around with a bunch of weapons, but to be as clearly trained as he is? And still be as young as he is? That ain't something you just do."

"Goku's been training all his life, and he's not much of a weapon's fighter, is he?" Videl asked, thinking about the times she had seen Goku fight, and how namely he used his fists.

"Mostly, yeah." He nodded. "I used a Bo Staff for a bit, but I prefer fighting hand-to-hand. Also, I don't think my staff was forged in blood or made of human bones…"

"Nah, not blood. It was made out of a warrior's spine and intestines." Roshi remarked dismissively.

"Yours too? Nice." Yamcha smirked. Ignoring the horrified looks he was getting. "You go to the orphanage too?"

"The badass way Wiz." Boomstick coughed. "Oh, and if being a weapon-master super-ninja wasn´t enough, he´s also a magician! But instead of pulling rabbits out of a hat, it´s a fire dragon!"

"So, he's a magical ninja, who also fights with a werewolf-forged scythe, and works in an antique store?" Lazuli listed off what she had learned thus far about Ryu. "I can't tell if this is meant to be taken seriously or not. But either way, it's pretty cool."

"Not exactly… though that would make one impressive party trick." Wiz admitted. "And from experience, Werewolves or Lycans of any kind tend to fall into one of two categories. Either they seem themselves as superior to humanity and want to kill or enslave everyone, or they're more closeted with their true lycan-identity than a teenage character with their gender identity in most coming of age movies."

"I don't know what you mean by that Wiz. And that concerns me." Boomstick admitted, and for a few moments, everyone thought this was gonna get… awkward. "Not all werewolves are like that! There are some who don't give a crap about anything, like Loon-"

"She's a demon dog 'Stick." Wiz cut in.

"But… what about Mad D-"

"Mutant."

"Okay… what about Blue?"

"…Boomstick, Blue isn't a werewolf. She was a blue cartoon puppy who solved preschool mysteries sometimes."

"She's not a werewolf… THAT WE KNOW OF." Boomstick reasoned.

"No."

"Aw…"

"What the hell are they going on about?" Someone asked.

"Whatever. Ryu channels the energies of his unusually strong spirit for mystical techniques called Ninpo. That word deriving from 'Patience' and 'Ho', not 'Po' meaning 'Law'. "

"Yeah. That's pretty obvious." Piccolo remarked, a bit confused as to why they were explaining this.

"I think different places may not have the same knowledge of Japanese culture as others." Videl added.

"Hm. Fair point."

NINPO

ART OF THE INFERNO

Fireballs, Mostly.

ART OF THE FIRE WHEELS

Flaming Cartwheels

DOPPLEGANGER

Creates a Shadow Clone Which Can Fight/Distract Enemies

BLINK (TELEPORT)

Does What You Think It Does

ART OF DIVINE LIFE

Grants Ryu Healing Powers

ART OF SUBSTITUTION

Creates Another Clone of Oneself Out of a Nearby Object ("Huh… That seems like an interesting trick." Piccolo muttered.)

ART OF THE PIERCING VOID

Allows User Control Over Gravity (This intrigued some of the fighters)

Creates Mini-Black Holes (The fact he could withstand Black Holes shocked most of the fighters)

HAYABUSA TORN SKY BLAST

Big Explosion

"Well, this "ninpogician" can summon fireballs, create a fighting shadow of himself, blow shit up with his own version of the Torn Sky Blast and- Hey. This seems a lot like Ki Energy…" Boomstick remarked, suddenly realizing something mid-sentence. "Weird."

"Well, considering his extreme physical strength and fighting prowess, it's not an unfair comparison." Wiz agreed. "However, Ryu most likely would lose a fight in a straight up brawl against most of the Z-Fighters, but if given a short time to prepare, that might not be the case."

"Despite us being in these… it still feels so weird to hear them talking about us." Goku finally said, voicing what everyone was thinking.

"Hey, that Dawg kid mentioned you were gonna be in one of these. Who do you think you'll fight?" Krillin asked, looking to Goku, who seemed excited at the prospect.

"I'll ask Skorch later." He finally said. "Hopefully it'll be a real test of my strength!"

"I mean, Ryu even seems to be able to teleport short distances through shadow powers-" Ryu suddenly spun around and changed into a bird. "What the fuck, did he just turn into a bird?! How!?"

"Uh… What?" Bulma blinked.

"Hang on. How did he-!?"

"Eh. I've seen weirder." Goku shrugged, thinking to what he had been through.

"Well, Ryu's spirit is not only strong enough to use the True Dragon Sword, but he is also capable of manipulating that spiritual energy to perform supernatural feats, like... the animality-bird thing, and surviving fatal wounds via healing powers. Granted, this pseudo-healing factor requires a lot of time, rest, and meditation to pull off, so it's hard to do in the midst of a battle. But to be fair, he doesn't need it THAT often."

Hayabusa fell from the sky, grabbing onto an armed goon as the pair fell. Then in one long subsequent motion, landed masterfully on the ground while stabbing the unfortunate goon in the back. Blood and gore flying everywhere. Ryu then effectively snapped the goon in half, sending the two parts of his body flying in opposite directions.

(*Cues: Dead or Alive 2 - The Shooted*)

"Ryu is fast enough to deflect automatic fire, tough enough to land a 300-meter drop, take lethal stab wounds and walked them off, and even has developed a ninja sense, which anticipates danger. Like when a chick asks if she looks fat in a new outfit." Boomstick continued as Ryu was shown ducking and weaving back and forth through oncoming attackers. Nothing thrown at him seemed to be a challenge for him. "He's like Ninja Spider-Man! Which… is actually a thing."

"…yeah, I can believe that's a thing." Yamcha shrugged.

"So, Ryu's just a human, with really good training, right?" No. 18 asked. "This kinda seems like he has some sort of powerful bloodline or something, or he's of some special race or something."

"I think he's just really well trained. That's all there is to it." Goku shrugged. "But yeah, he kinda seems like more than just a human. If he was a cyborg or something, that might make more sense, but he's… human. Which I think is pretty impressive all things considered, if he's able to pull all this off."

"And despite mastering the ninja art of stealth, he tends to just rush in, swords swinging. Every. Single. Time." Wiz said with great annoyance. "…which often lets enemies get the drop on him if they attack in a group. And above all, he is still human, and while he has insane tenacity and strength, he can die from lethal blows, poison, and so on… namely whenever the writers remove his plot armor."

"Well, his gear doesn't appear to provide much in the way of armor." Vegeta remarked. "Sure, we don't wear full body armor either, and I'd guess it would slow down his free-running, but that seems like a mistake."

"Well, maybe the strategy is to move so fast no one can hit him." Trunks shrugged, watching Ryu fighting through waves of attackers.

"That'll only work for so long." Vegeta replied. "Sooner or later, he'd either run out of stamina, or someone would be able to hit him, so going in armor-less isn't the best strategy."

"Hey, whatever works." Boomstick shrugged. "He´s destroyed entire armies of fiends and demons, killed the Dark Dragon, twice somehow, won the second Dead Or Alive tournament, avenged his father's death and finally annihilated the Devil himself-"

FEATS

Won the Second Dead Or Alive Tournament

Survived the Grip of Murder

Lands 300 Meter Drops Regularly

Has Slain Demons & Dragons

Defeated the Dark Dragon, Doku, Tengu, Jaquio & The Goddess ("These guys really like weird names." Krillin blinked, reading through Ryu's feats.

Single-Handedly Battles Demons, Monsters, Robots & Armies For a Living

Not Only Successfully Changed Game-Play Style When Jumping to Next-Gen Consoles, Proceeded to Have a String of Successful Hits

"-all just to get himself laid." Boomstick concluded.

"Nice!" Roshi called.

"Such selfish arrogance... I cannot allow this!" Ryu scowled before running towards a battle, drawing his blade and jumping into the air as the doors closed.

"Y'know, I like the guy." Krillin nodded. "Sure, he's kind of a sociopath at times, but he isn't evil. Heck, he's not even the same kind of killer Scorpion was before he became a demon."

"That… is a pretty good point." Goku began but nodded as something dawned on him. "I mean, yeah, this guy seems to be a human blender, but he's not using those blending powers for evil."

"Like a Vegan Smoothie Bar?"

"A what?"

"You wouldn't get it."

STRIDER HIRYU

(*Cues: Strider - Stage 1 Theme*)

The fighters assumed the figure clad in purple and red was Strider Hiryu, who landed on the ground with a sword held out behind him, and with a mechanical dog nearby.

"With his name literally meaning Flying Dragon, Hiryu was orphaned at a very young age." Wiz began.

BACKGRUOND

Height: 179 cm / 5'10"

Weight: 85 kg / 187 lb

Age: 2,021 Years ("Hold on. WHAT!?" Bulma exclaimed.)

Rank: Special-A Class Strider

Occupation: Retired Strider

Superhuman Senses

Hobbies: Peace, Seclusion, Boring Stuff

"And here we go…" Piccolo sighed, rolling his eyes. "Orphan, odd name, this has all the hallmarks of the backstory for these kinds of characters."

"He was put through the intense Strider program, a training school for high-tech ninja mercenaries."

"Seems kinda like Ragna's backstory." Goku stated, mostly to himself.

"It´s so hard to find a good cyber-ninja school these days… And not just because of the difficulty finding one that isn't run by an idiot in a pink Gi…" Boomstick muttered.

"Well, seems whoever put him there made the right choice." Wiz remarked as Strider was shown standing on one side of the room. Then was suddenly on the other side of the room, and the two guards in the room split in half.

(*Cues: Strider Hiryu Theme - Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3*)

"Hiryu far exceeded his teachers´ expectations, and soon became the youngest student in the organization´s history to reach the highest rank of Special A-Class Strider."

Someone was about to speak up, but Boomstick beat them to it.

"What does that mean? Well, even a C-Class Strider has the strength and skill of a whole team of special forces soldiers, so just imagine what a single Special A-Class Strider can do."

"That much power in a cyber-ninja?! That's-" Goten began but cut himself off as he remembered something. In fact, everyone seemed to realize the same thing, but no one said anything about it.

"You okay?" Krillin asked, looking to his wife.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded. "It's… uncomfortable, but it is what it is. The past is in the past… I just really hope the battle with one of in it isn't me. I really, really don't wanna relive that."

"Hey, it's okay. If it comes up, the guys will understand."

"Oh wait, you don´t have to cause we´re here to tell you about it!" Boomstick added with a tone that said 'This-is-gonna-be-awesome'.

"He can kinda be crude-" Roshi began.

"Kinda?!" Yamcha cut him off.

"…but he knows his stuff." Roshi finished. "And he's pretty entertaining."

"And you two have a lot in common…" Bulma muttered under her breath.

"After reaching this remarkable rank, Hiryu was sent on a mission to kill a rogue Strider, this Strider was a threat to the world as they knew it. It could single-handedly burn the world to the ground and kill everyone who got in her way..." Wiz continued as the 'Rouge Strider' was shown, with long hair and an electrified sword, they were kept hidden in the shadows.

"So, what exactly happened?" Strider asked with a raised brow.An older man, who everyone assumed was a trainer of some sort, sighed and shook his head.

"We don't know." He stated. "They… suddenly went mad for some unknown reason, and killed about ten of the trainers."

"Geez… If they're able to kill Strider Trainers, would that make them like, S-Tier Striders? Z-Tier? X-Tier?" Goku asked.

"Dangerously powerful is what they are." Piccolo stated.

"…who just so happened to be his own sister." Wiz remarked.

"Because of course it was!" Boomstick and a few others exclaimed. "Naturally, pissed off at the Striders manipulating him and his sister, he immediately retired..."

Their swords clashed, and Hiryu seemed to be fighting like a crazed animal, desperate to survive, and desperate to save his sister.

"Sister! It's Hiryu!" He shouted. "Please! Stop this madness!"

"I have no brother. You are my enemy." Strider's sister replied, her eyes seemed foggy, as if she wasn't in total control. "You will die here."

In a series of attacks so quick, even Goku and Vegeta had trouble keeping up with it, the two were flipping and spinning around the room in masterful movements that were quite impressive. Hitting her with the hilt of his sword, Hiryu seemed to be in a great deal of pain over what he had to do. For a second, her sister's eyes flashed back to normal, then were consumed back to their foggy sense.

"I'm sorry…" He said softly.

"…after killing her, of course." Boomstick finished his statement.

SHULK

As Hiryu's sister came down to strike, Hiryu spun around and drove his sword through his sister's chest. She gasped, then seemed to go limp.

"Damn. That sucks…" Yamcha muttered.

"Once you get powers, it essentially means those you care for are in much more danger than they normally are." Tien sighed, shaking his head. It was a fair point, and most of the others agreed.

"Still, it seemed like his sister was gone." Vegeta reasoned. "I don't think there was anything he could reasonably do for her to help, except put her out of her misery."

It was an uncomfortable sentiment, but it wasn't wrong… mostly. No one really wanted to focus on it though.

(*Cues: Destroy the Terrorists in the Occupied City - Strider 2*)

"…damn, I really don't have a good transition from that." Wiz muttered. "Uh… Screw it. Hiryu wields a deadly light sword Cypher named Falchion." As he talked, the sword was shown. This one had a much more 'medieval' look in the handle and design. It also seemed to be intimidating despite its somewhat short length. "It generates a blade of high voltage plasma energy which can slice through almost anything. Today, plasma cutters can reach temperatures over 2 million degrees Celsius, cutting through steel and other metals with ease."

"Damn." Yamcha muttered, taking his sword out and looking at it. He felt… inadequate. Sure, he could probably take on Strider and Ryu, but he felt like his blade wasn't what it could be.

"So, he's wielding a plasma torch." Goten said in an attempt to simplify it.

"Nah, that thing is WAY more powerful than a simple torch." Piccolo shook his head.

"Hey?" Skorch called, confused.

"Propane torch!"

"Oh. Okay."

"What I'm more curious about, is how can that thing be contained?" Bulma asked. "I can see how it works, but I don't understand how it's contained at that length."

"Or, how it can clash with another blade and not cut said blade immediately." Trunks added.

FALCHION (LIGHT SWORD CYPHER)

Extendable Through Plasma Charging

Boost (Plasma Wave Projectiles)

Plasma Arrows

Deflects Projectiles

Shape-Shifting Properties

Can Destroy Projectiles

Incinerates Enemies

"It´s basically a super-long, extending, non-copyrighted lightsaber." Boomstick nodded as Strider was shown slashing his way through waves of enemies, even slicing at the wall of an aircraft carrier, and in two strikes, he was inside.

"Well, kind of, it´s a sword with a plasma aura that leaves a trail of death…" Wiz reasoned. "It can also fire plasma arrows and counter projectiles, as well as extend its own length after charging for a short time."

"I think most guys know that feeling." Boomstick added. Also, this sword comes with an incredibly satisfying ching sound."

Strider swung the Falchion, and indeed, there was a very satisfying sound.

"Agh… that's a bit… too high pitched." Krillin winced.

"Nah, that's pretty satisfying, I can't lie." Goku admitted.

"That's the one."

(*Cues: Burning Force - Namco X Capcom*)

"Apart from the Cypher, Hiryu wields a large arsenal of sci-fi gear and weaponry, including the Varga: a teleporting device. He uses his medical tech to heal wounds, the climb sickles to, well, climb, the jump trick to... jump higher." Wiz began as Strider demonstrated his talents.

GEAR "TRICKS" TOOLS

CLIMB SICKLE

Allows Strider to Climb Walls With Ease

VARJA

BOOTS

Attack, Aqua and Magnet

KUNAI

Also See: Scorpion

JUMP TRICK

Increases Jumping Height

FIRE TRICK

Creates Fireballs

GROUND TRICK

Creates a Small Earthquake

SPARK TRICK

Launches a Ball of Electric Energy

Spark Ball: Sends it Along the Ground

MEDICAL TRICK

Self-Healing

"How do you train to cause earthquakes? Is that something you can just do?" Videl asked. "Or… electricity for that matter? It doesn't seem like that Ki stuff you guys can do."

"I think it has to do with his cybernetic implants." Lazuli said in a somewhat cold tone. She didn't want to admit to it, but this was starting to drag up some bad memories.

"I guess they don´t have a thesaurus at the ninja school. Probably used all the funding on weapons and their wardrobe. I can respect that." Boomstick nodded. "I also respect the fact that he also has a device that can cause earthquakes, shoot fire and launch big balls of electricity."

"And last, but not least, he has three types of cybernetic drones at his back and call, all of which I have to admit are pretty damn impressive." Wiz began. It was a safe belief that when Wiz was talking with respect about something tech related, it was a good idea to pay attention. "Option A are twin satellite bots which shield Hiryu and shoot wave after wave of deadly laserdiscs."

OPTION A

Satellite Drone "Bot" ("Personalized satellites… that seems… promising." Bulma mused, thinking about what they could be used for.)

Laser Guns ("Because of course they have those." Tien nodded.)

Can Power Machinery

Two small drone-like devices appeared, flying around Strider as he fought-

"Hey! What's Zangief doing here?!" Goku sked, bewildered. True to his question, the Red Cyclone was fighting Hiryu Strider. The Option A drones began firing small blasts at the Russian Wrestler, keeping him distracted.

"Marvel vs. Capcom, it's a fighting game series." Skorch called.

"Huh. Cool!"

"Option B is a freaking Robo-Panther!" Boomstick said in clear amazement. This got everyone's attention as an armada of cybernetic panthers ran across the screen, attaching Zangief. "It´s like a giant death-cat that doesn´t need a litter box or scratch the shit out of your furniture."

OPTION B

Robotic Panther

Fiercely Loyal

Knife-Like Claws and Teeth

"So, who do you think came up with those?" Krillin asked. "From the design of them, it's clearly someone who knew what they were doing, but how'd they get to that stage?"

"I think in the grand scheme of things, that's not as important as the fact that he has literal giant robo-cats." Videl replied, clearly taken by the idea of having a giant robot panther for a pet.

"Finally, Option C is a robotic hawk with bladed wings and oversized grenades." Wiz stated as a compact, sleek looking drone-bird flew above Strider, dropping an almost comically large grenade.

"Argh, I hate birds! First you had to worry about them crapping on your car. Now they have grenades…" Boomstick muttered.

Beerus didn't know why, but when he heard 'Bird' his body twitched somewhat and his eyes darted around for a few moments.

"W..what the hell was that?" He thought.

OPTION C

Robotic Hawk

Bladed Wings

Can Drop Grenades

Causes a Birdemic (Several fighters groaned at that)

"And if his arsenal isn't enough to get the job done, Hiryu´s speed and agility are off the charts!" Wiz said as Strider ran through an oncoming hail of bullets, dodging around them as if there was nothing coming at him.

"At the end of the day, how many of these guys do you think we could beat?" Goku suddenly asked.

"Meaning?" Vegeta inquired.

"For years now, the only threats we've dealt with were from this world. If Skorch is right and everything we see here exists for real in another world, what would happen if those worlds started… coming to one another?"

"Like with Spawn?"

"Yeah! Exactly. For so long we've found ourselves to be the strongest, the fastest… but then there's guys like Kratos, or even Strider, with powers and weapons we've never seen. I'm kinda wondering if the training we're doing is enough…"

"You really think we couldn't take any of these guys on?" Vegeta asked dryly.

"Kratos had a sword meant to kill Gods." Piccolo reasoned. "Scorpion is nearly unkillable, Ryu and Akuma have the Raging Demon, Wonder Woman was trained since birth, much like us. Rouge has the power-draining thing, Thor and Raiden are Gods, Batman and Spider-Man have their own tools. Goliath… I don't think he'd be much of a fighter, Beast either. Kirby… Kirby killed Majin Buu… and Spawn has the whole 'feeding on sins' thing."

"Yeah… I'm gonna have to disagree with you there…" Yamcha said, getting everyone's attention. "Aside from Akuma and maybe Kratos and Kirby, everyone you mentioned are heroes. Fighting to protect those they care for, and using their powers to help everyone to the best of their abelites."

"Spawn… no… actually yeah…" Krillin began but trailed off remembering that's Spawn's appearance and Spawn's actions were two very different things.

"That's something we should come back to later. I think this tournament is gonna be a real eye-opener in some ways."

"Fortunate, since he also doesn´t seem to ever use his ninja stealth skills." Wiz muttered. Seriously, what's the point of stealth training if you're never gonna use it?!"

"Stealing your co-workers' lunch." Boomstick said, clearly eating something.

"..wait. What are-YOUSONOFABITCH!" Wiz shouted.

The sounds of fighting broke out, and the screen cut to 'Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By' for a few moments. Then went back to normal.

"In his defense, that's a fair reaction." Lazuli nodded.

"He´s even fast enough to dodge shadow tag bullets: highly advanced ammunition designed to track supersonic targets, like Striders. Basically, anti-aircraft rounds for people." Wiz continued. Strider was fired upon, and the bullets curved and weaved about, but he dodged them as if it was child's play.

"Yeah. Strider's gonna win this one." Vegeta remarked. "There's nothing Hayabusa can do that even comes close to Strider's skills. Unfortunately, no one could think of a great counter-argument.

"He´s also strong enough to slice clean through the human body... with a karate chop!"

"Damn. That's not just something you do. That's art." Piccolo muttered, amazed by Striders raw strength.

"Hiryu has somehow been in retirement for over 2,000 years; likely because of the advanced medicine of the future. Yet despite distancing himself from the Strider program, He has been pulled out of retirement more times than John McClane." Wiz added.

"Who?" Trunks asked.

Bulma grumbled something inaudible, but something along the lines of 'If I see one more damn battle where someone gets to remain ageless I'm gonna lose my shi-"

"Yeah, their tech is amazing. It can make someone look decades older in seconds!" Skorch nodded walking back to a mini fridge that appeared out of nowhere. "And hey, this is just another reason why being an eternally ageless watcher is awesome!"

"Go to hell." Bulma scowled.

"Sure. Just as soon as I die of old age."

"…"

"…"

"….."

"You're really proud of that one, aren't you?" Goku finally asked, breaking the long, awkward silence that had followed Skorch's statement.

"Yup."

FEATS

Avoided Shadowtag Bullets

Has Slain Armies and Dinosaurs ("Dinosaurs always get screwed, don't they?" Goten asked.)

Is Over 2000 Years Old

Destroyed a Moon-Sized Space Station

Slices People In Half With His Bare Hands (This amazed, but frightened some of the fighters)

Doesn't Consider Most of Marvel or Capcom's Most Infamous Villains as a Threat ("If we knew who those were, that might mean something." Goku shrugged.)

Doesn't Consider Flying Fortresses a Threat, Either

Defeated; Matic, Faceas Clay, Striders & Grandmaster Meio

"He´s fought dinosaurs and giant robots, destroyed a moon-sized space station, and is so badass he considers huge flying warships mere toys. He even slew the magical creator of the world... twice. Apparently, God himself is no match for this badass future cyber ninja with killer fashion sense." Boomstick concluded.

"No place for amateurs." Strider mused as he rode off on an Option B's back, standing perfectly symmetrically without issue.

"Okay. Now he's just showing off." Yamcha remarked.

"So, who's gonna win?"

"Strider." Vegeta said flatly.

"Yeah." Yamcha nodded.

"No, Ryu's got better talents and Spirit abilities. I think he'll out maneuver Strider into a corner or something." Krillin shrugged.

"The Option bots seem like they'd tip that fight in Strider's favor, but Ryu's fast enough he might be able to cut them apart." Goku replied, thinking about how fast Ryu seemed to be able to move. But then again, Strider could move that fast as well. But again, again, they didn't say anything about his Option Bots…

As they kept debating, Skorch powered up the second tv to test it. Picking up the script, he looked at who the second battle would be, and realized something.

"Oh. Crap. I thought this was a different Z-Fighter Battle…" He muttered.

(*Cues: Ninja Gaiden - Alma Saves Rachel*)

The battle seemed to be taking place in of all places, a construction zone, in the skeletal beginnings of a building. A nameless and faceless goon was walking back and forth.

"Man. Just two days till retirement. Then I can spend all my days with my wife and newborn child… I'll finally get to see her for the first time!" He remarked.

"He's dead." Goku remarked flatly.

Slightly to the left, another guard looked over.

"Huh?"

Without warning, Strider and Ryu appeared from above, both driving their blades through the second guard, making him explode in a gory mess. The first guard ran off screaming.

"Oh, well. He's alive." Goten blinked.

The two looked to one another, then their eyes narrowed, the screen cutting to two black boxes with close ups of their eyes. It was a stylistic, and unique look.

FIGHT!

(*Cues: Ninja Gaiden - Alma Awakened*)

Without words, the two swordsmen dashed towards one another, clashing their blades and beginning to perform as sort of dance with their blades. Ryu decided to try something else and jumped backwards and threw three shurikens at Hiryu, who simply slid underneath them as if they were nothing more than an annoyance. He then launched himself upwards, striking Ryu in the chest, and knocking him into a brick wall. Hayabusa used the wall like a spring board and launched himself up onto another platform, and then jumped back down and slashed at Strider, who quickly brought his sword up to defend himself.

"You…are a Strider?" Ryu asked, seeming almost impressed.

"And you must be Ryu Hayabusa. The Ultimate Ninja." Hiryu Strider replied, a mixture of respect and disdain in his voice. Ryu began pushing Strider back, slashing at him with quick attacks, trying to get him to lower his defense. Strider shot by and managed to cut Ryu along his side.

"Well, their sword skills seem evenly matched." Yamcha remarked. "Either one of their swords break, or something else becomes the winning factor."

"I think Strider isn't gonna know what to do with Ryu's spirit form." Trunks remarked. "That'll probably be a real issue for him."

Strider took a powerful swing, but missed as Ryu dodged out of the way and fired a shuriken made of fire at him. Strider jumped over Hayabusa, only for the weapon to follow. He tried it again, but the weapon kept following.

"That's a neat trick. Is it a homing attack? Or more like a frisbee?" Someone asked.

"Seems kinda like the Destructo Discs, just more refined." Krillin answered.

In a sudden, unexpected move, Strider slashed the incoming attack in half, sending the two parts of the flying attack dissipating. Ryu seemed to be putting the pressure on Strider once more, before kicking him into a wall, grabbing him, and slamming him into the ground. Jumping back, Ryu took out his two chain-sickles and spun them around, sending them at Strider, who deflected one, and sliced the chain off of the second, letting the sickle fly off and clatter to the ground.

"Well, that's one weapon down." Bulma frowned. Despite his best attempts, Strider seemed to be one step ahead when it came to attacking.

"Neither one has used much of their powers yet, there's still a bit to go." Goku shrugged.

"Let death eclipse you!" Ryu shouted, suddenly pulling the Eclipse Scythe out.This did get a reaction out of Strider, who took a step back in surprise.

Strider was jumping back as Ryu came at him with the scythe, mixing it with small bursts of fire, using his spirit powers. However, this attack was quickly ended when the Scythe became embedded in the wall, and Strider then sliced the head off, leaving Ryu with a stick.

"No…" Ryu whispered in shock.

"You provide a challenge, but you are nothing without your weapons." Strider remarked, disappointed. Ryu didn't reply, but created a shadow clone of himself.

"Do you think the second Ryu has a mind of its own?" Piccolo asked. "Is it an extension of his own mind? Or does it have some level of consciousness?"

As Strider began launching energy blasts at the pair, the two ran forward, the shadow giving Ryu a boost as he flew upwards, deflecting incoming attacks with his sword. Strider noticed this and jumped up, summoning his two Option A drones which began firing at the pair, finally striking the shadow clone and causing it to disappear.

"Wait, that thing only can get hit once?" Goku asked. "I thought it would've been stronger… But a single hit?"

"Maybe it was meant to be a distraction." Krillin shrugged.

Mid-flight, Ryu began rapidly firing arrows from his bow at Strider, destroying the two drones. Strider landed, and got kicked in the chest, sent flying back into another wall. He jumped backwards and began climbing with his scythe. Ryu jumped up and they clashed blades, and they continued their climb upwards as they jumped off of the nearby walls, clashing mid-air each time. Just as he was about to reach the top, Strider took a deep cut along his chest, making him yell in pain and anger. Jumping up, his disappeared, then landed on the rooftop and opened a box with different tricks. He selected 'Medical' and the wound disappeared. Ryu appeared, summoning some of his Ninpo, and fired it at Strider, who then returned with a blast of his own energy. They collided and exploded.

"Man, they seem pretty well-matched here." Goten blinked. "Do they have any limit to their powers?"

The two ninjas jumped back, firing more blasts at one another, with neither side being able to do anything of real consequence. However, it was clear to the fighters this wasn't going to be a long, drawn-out battle, at the end of the day, it was who got hit first.

"Time to end this!" Strider shouted, before sending a wave of Option B's and Option C's at Ryu. The ninja, took a stance, and drew the Great Dragon Sword, then proceeded to carve his way through the entire wave of oncoming attackers.

"Wow." Tien blinked.

"Either those things are much weaker than expected, or Ryu is far faster than we expected." Piccolo commented, surprised at how quickly Ryu cut through everything.

Before anyone else could comment, Strider summoned some of his Electrical Trick and proceeded to electrify the remaining Options. At first, it seemed to have no effect, then everyone (Ryu included) realized what was happening a moment too late, as the robotic animals exploded from the electrical overload. To their surprise, Ryu shot out of the explosion with a quick dash, attempting to impale Strider. However, his tactic failed as Strider jumped up over the attack, and swung up to another platform.

"I'm starting to think Strider will win this one simply due to his implants." Krillin reasoned. "They're both extremely powerful and skilled, but sooner or later, Ryu has to get tired, or injured. He doesn't have the healing power Strider has, and I think that'll be the end for him."

Ryu jumped up, now brandishing his clawed gauntlets, and became a cyclone of blades and death, spinning so quickly it seemed to catch Strider off guard. Instead of dashing forward, the cyber-ninja found himself stepping backwards, as if uncertain as to the proper way to handle this.

"Rurah!" Strider shouted, slashing once at Ryu, and in slow motion, the claws on his hands shattered. He followed this up with a powerful kick to the chest, sending Ryu flying, rolling on the ground, and then falling off of the scaffolding they stood on.

"He can't die that easily…" Vegeta muttered.

"Nah, Strider wouldn't have really won then. I doubt he's done." Goku agreed.

Ryu breathed shakily as he held onto the edge of the building. Then he let go. Beginning to plummet, Ryu seemed to focus himself and changed into his falcon form and flew back to the rooftop. Strider's eyes widened in amazement, as if this was something he had never seen, and quickly jumped off of the side of the building, holding on to the under-side to avoid the incoming attack. Once Ryu was gone, he flipped back up to the metal pathway. Ryu changed back to his human form and landed, seeing Strider on the other end. It appeared that he had been waiting for him, and neither said anything.

(*Cues: Ninja Gaiden - Orchestral Compilation*)

Both ninjas stand, staring at each other. It was clear no insult would shake them into accidents, no false swipe would fool them, there was nothing they could do, but settle this the only way they knew how. The pair began to run towards each other, moving surprisingly swiftly and silently, then jumped high into the air, becoming shadows against the moon, and swung their swords.

They then landed, standing there as if nothing had happened.

Then Ryu's chest exploded in a fountain of blood.

"Ooh… there it is." Goten winced.

"I doubt Ryu's coming back from that…" Goku frowned.

(*Cues: Beasts - Strider*)

"Time to end this! Ragnarök!"

Strider Hiryu charges at Ryu at super-fast speeds with the Varga, slashing at Ryu and attacking from all directions so quickly it looked like and army of them were attacking. Upper cutting Ryu into the air, Strider then pile drove Hayabusa straight through the roof. Smashing through floor after floor until they finally reached the ground. With his Falchion buried deep in Ryu's chest, Strider landed, and Ryu seemed to explode into several bloody parts. Ripping the sword out, Strider wiped it clean, nodded, then disappeared.

K.O.!

Strider briefly appeared behind the guard who hadn't died, and proceeded to stab him for no real reason, leaving him dead on the floor.

"Oh, that guy did die." Lazuli muttered, sarcastically.

Results

(*Cues: Strider Hiryu's Theme - Marvel vs Capcom*)

"Ragnar-owned!" Boomstick laughed.

"This fight was very close, and Ryu's ninpo was certainly a match for Hiryu's gadgets. Add to that both fighters have an unprecedented level of fighting prowess made it much more a battle of skill then pure strength." Wiz stated.

"But unfortunately, Ryu's enormous arsenal was useless against the Cypher. 'Cause that thing is plasma, and plasma cuts metal. It's like rock-paper- scissors. But with plasma-metal-water."

"The Dragon Sword didn't break under that." Videl stated.

"The only weapon that can stand up to the Cypher was his True Dragon Sword, but even then, while it can cut through people like butter, Hiryu does the same with his bare hands." Wiz immediately added. "That gave Strider both the weapon and pure strength advantages."

"Still, that thing cut through everything Strider threw at him as well." Yamcha remarked.

"And Strider definitely had the advantage in sandwich-making. Also, while Ryu can deflect automatic fire with his sword and even cut bullets out of the air, Strider can dodge personalized anti-aircraft bullets. Ryu can hold a weapon so powerful that it rips a weaker ma's soul out, but more likely than not, Strider could do that too." Boomstick continued.

"If you consider the differences in speed concerning bullet types, this means Hiryu is at least 43% faster." Wiz stated.

As he talked, 'The Board of Wizdom' re-appeared.

Automatic Fire Speed – 855 MPS or 2,800 FPS

Anti-Aircraft Fire Speed – 1,200 MPS, or 4,000 FPS

"…ultimately, Hiryu surpasses Ryu in strength, speed, and weaponry."

"Yeah, I see how Ryu lost this one." Goku nodded.

"And while Ryu has insane tenacity, sooner or later, he'd get tired and make a mistake, something Strider most likely wouldn't have to deal with because of his implants. In the end, it looks like Strider just floored Hayabusa."

"The winner is Strider Hiryu." Wiz concluded.

"Well, even if they took away their weapons and powers, I'm pretty sure Strider still would've won." Piccolo reasoned. "Strider's physical strength just outmatches Ryu's. Hayabusa's weaponry would be a challenge to most, but it seems like Strider is just Ryu, but better."

"I really thought he'd use his spirit form more…" Krillin mused. "But then again, Strider would probably have a bigger target if he did that."

"It does kind of raise the question about technology against skill." Bulma shrugged. "Which is better? Strider won because of his tech, but Ryu stood a chance because of his skill. Is it better for them to put those two together? Or keep them apart?"

As the fighters talked over the fight, and a few walked over to the other TV, Skorch kicked the DVD player when it stuttered for a moment, and the second battle began. He didn't know how this was gonna go down, and he honestly felt a little guilty now that he knew this wasn't the battle he had been thinking of… Oh well.

"…have fun." He said, somewhat awkwardly, as he walked away, knowing he was going to be back in about… ten seconds.

"Hey. Fire-Skull." Yamcha said, catching up with the Entity.

"Sup?" Skorch remarked. "No, I can't say if you'll be in one of these or not."

"Nah, I'm not wondering about that… looking at the True Dragon Sword, I kinda felt…"

"Like you have Erecweaponal Dysfunction?"

"…what? Never mind… The design on the sword looked interesting, I was wondering if you could do something like that to my sword." He said, pulling his sword out. Skorch took it and swung it for a second, then seemed to judge something.

"Yeah. I can do that." He nodded. "Issue is, the engraving or acid etching may take a sliver of weight off, and the sword may feel a little different."

"Alright, so… what's the challenge?" Yamcha asked. "Isn't that how this works? I need to put up some sort of bet?"

"…no. Call this a favor." Skorch shook his head, taking the sword and walking off, putting a pair of glasses over his sockets and summoning a chair. Yamcha watched, then walked back to the group.

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

An image of a man in the middle of a martial arts form came into screen. He seemed old, but greatly experienced. He seemed almost like the 'wise old mentor' one would see in movies, but not only was this not a movie, he appeared to be someone who could trounce all of those masters.

"An old saying goes: "A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come." - Bruce Lee" wiz began, seeming to nod in respect as he said so.

"This should be interesting." Goku remarked.

"I swear I've seen that guy before…" Roshi muttered. "Like, I swear I have!"

"You sure it's not just old age getting to you?" Vegeta asked.

"Son, if this is the man I think it is, then you wouldn't even think about saying something like that to him." Roshi said, his humorous, and laid-back tone gone. Replaced with a high amount of respect. It was a first for Vegeta, and he looked back to the screen in curiosity.

"But some fighters are dumb enough to ignore the legendary Bruce Lee's words, like Hercule Satan, the World Martial Arts Champion." Boomstick stated as jaws hit the floor.

The sound of a drink being spit across the entire ship was heard, followed by a shocked, and horrified.

"WHAT!?"

In a matter of seconds, Hercule skidded to a stop and looked in shock at the screen, seeing… well, himself. Everyone else stared in disbelief, before looking to one another, to Hercule, and then-

"Hey."

"Is… is this some sort of joke!?" Hercule finally exclaimed.

"No."

"They're really…!?"

"Yeah."

"You and me. We need to talk. Now."

Skorch nodded and the two disappeared, leaving everyone to look at the paused screen in utter disbelief.

"So, HERCULE is in one of these… before GOKU, ROSHI, PICCOLO… Hell! Even FIRZA or BEERUS!?" Vegeta finally shouted, suddenly feeling even better about himself, as it appeared he was important enough to have a battle before all of them.

"Ha. Right." Skorch thought.

"…I don't know how to react to this…" Videl muttered, holding Pan, who looked at the screen and giggled, recognizing her grandfather. "I mean, I should've assumed… but…" She trailed off as everyone spoke up at once.

"…and they…"

"It's just…"

"How do you…"

"He's not even…"

"…who's he fighting?!"

"I mean, I guess he's kind of…"

"Yeah, but the whole…"

After a few minutes of incomplete sentences, Skorch and Hercule re-appeared, Hercule having a calmer, but somewhat awkward look on his face. It took him a few times to finally form words, and while everyone wanted to ask him questions, they also knew he needed to say whatever was on his mind first.

"Okay…" He began with a sigh. "This… this is kind of one of the best things, and worst things that could happen to me. I'm honestly honored that this is a thing, but at the same time… These things tend to go deep into the fighters' abilities… and… You all know… that I uh… tend to…"

"*coughcheatcough*" Roshi coughed, earning a flat look from Hercule.

"Right. That." He muttered. "Thing is, I still want to see where this goes, and I don't have an issue with you all seeing it either… and… I know there isn't much I can do about the inevitable mocking that will arise from what we see, so I don't have an issue with you all watching it."

"Dad, you don't have to-" Videl began.

"On the condition that when we get to any of you in one of these, said mockery will be applied there as well."

Everyone looked to one another, understanding Hercule's hesitation and apprehension, but also seeing he was trying to find the best middle ground.

"Alright." Goku shrugged.

"If you think we weren't gonna rip into each other regardless, you really don't know us that well." Krillin smirked, Hercule laughed slightly and sat back down, Buu standing behind in in curiosity.

"And Dan Hibiki, the Saikyo Street Fighter." Wiz added, and the eyeroll could be heard in the way he talked. A lanky man in a pink Gi appeared, with a smug, totally full-of-himself-look.

"He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!"

"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win... a Death Battle." Wiz concluded as the doors closed.

"I don't know why, but I feel pretty confident about this." Hercule muttered.

"Let the roast of Hercule Satan begin!" Skorch declared, laughing, before dropping a twenty-four pack on the couch and leaving.

HERCULE SATAN

(*Cues: A Hero's Desperation - Dragon Ball Z: Budokai*)

"The Earth was in danger." Wiz began ominously as a familiar fighting ring was shown rising from the ground. "The future of mankind threatened by a genocidal monster named Cell. All would be lost unless a hero could best him in the ring of champions."

"And a champion would rise! One man, the greatest fighter in the world would stand up to fight this monster. The hope of the world lay on the shoulders, and afro, of one man... Hercule Satan!" Boomstick continued with the introduction as Hercule stepped out of his limo.

Cell then proceeded to slap Hercule and send him flying into a mountainside, making most of the fighters wince in pain or embarrassment.

"Yeah… we're screwed. I really need to change this script…"

"Hey…"

"I mean, he's not wrong."

"Again. Hey…"

"Okay, every time Hercule uses deception. Everyone drinks." Krillin instructed, cracking the lid off of a beer.

"Are you trying to give everyone here alcohol blood poisoning?!" Bulma asked, a bit miffed.

"Eh."

"I'm going to regret this, but let's do it." Vegeta nodded, partially just to agitate his wife, and partially because he wanted to see how badly this ended for them.

(*Cues: DBZ - Ano Yo De Faito*)

"Officially, Mr. Satan is the World Martial Arts Champion, and chosen savior of humanity... or so he would have you believe." Wiz continued.

"Hey if I could lie that well I'd make everybody think I'm king of the world too, or even... GOD! Muhahahaha!" Boomstick laughed evilly as thunder inexplicably struck in the background.

"Now that's a terrifying thought…" Videl muttered.

"If Boomstick was a God, what would that make him? Like… Beerus, but an alcoholic?" Goku asked.

"Somehow that's even more terrifying."

BACKGROUND

Real Name: Mark

Age: 38 ("…this is a younger me I take it.")

Height: 6'2" / 188 cm

Weight: 208 lbs. / 94 kg

The "Undisputed" Martial Arts Champion of the World

Held The World Championship Title for 26 Years (Sort Of) (Everyone knew what this was getting at, but no one wanted to say anything. Yet.)

One of the Richest People On Earth

Hides a Fear of Fighters Who Use Ki ("Held a fear." Hercule corrected.)

Loves Eating Spaghetti

"But before he was the "Hero of the People", Mr. Satan went by... Mark. Eager to learn, Mark sought to master the art of combat through training and mastery of his skills." Wiz continued.

"Huh. I forgot that was your real name." Piccolo blinked.

"Yeah… I haven't used that name in years." Hercule said with a dismissive wave.

"Young Mark honed his skills in the Dojo, Satan Castle, which sounds awesome, but sadly, no, he was not actually trained by the Devil, I looked it up."

"Look, I've done a lot of dumb stuff, but even I'm not dumb enough to take a deal with the devil."

"Really?" Bulma asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, well… it always ends the same way. You get what you want… until it screws you over. I mean, maybe… maybe I would've, but after seeing Spawn? There's NO way I'd ever do that!"

"That's a fair point." Krillin nodded.

"I'm still not totally sure that's not what he is." Beerus muttered, briefly looking over to Skorch, who was playing some small handheld game.

"Turns out, he was naturally gifted in martial arts, mostly due to his strangely good luck. But also, his surprising strength and agility." Wiz continued as a younger 'Mark' was shown training with a blonde man, the two of them going through a series of quick strikes, kicks, and blocks.

"Heh. Good times." Hercule smirked.

"Yeah, like when he won his first World Championship, after his rival got food poisoning… that's not suspicious at all." Boomstick remarked, finishing the statement with a very sarcastic tone.

Hercule felt everyone look to him, with either looks of annoyance, disappointment, shock, possible disgust or indifference, and a few of them drank.

"Hey. I didn't-" He sputtered, trying to form words. "I'd never! I'd-"

"Except he didn't." Wiz said, a slight amount of amazement in his voice. "He's just… that lucky."

"Well… I guess that settles it." Beerus shrugged.

"I guess he cheated the rest of the times." Krillin shrugged. "I guess he used rat poison or something?"

"Hey! I didn't poison anyone! That was- er… never mind."

"How anyone believed you were humanities savior is beyond me…" Beerus remarked dryly. "Frankly I'm thankful you weren't one of the fighters for this tournament…" Hercule wanted to reply, but knew better.

"Victory in hand, Mark took the stage name Mr. Satan in honor of his Dojo, and to sound better for the cameras. His victories and explosive personality quickly rocketed him to a life of wealth, fame and luxury." Wiz continued as Hercule held the world champion belt up victoriously. "To his credit, he did have the strength and moves to achieve the victory…. But the luck was the ace in the hole."

"...Which almost came to an end when he and his master got drunk and made fun of some random guy's pony tail." Boomstick remarked, making Hercule freeze in shock. "Turns out this random guy just so happened to be a superpowered immortal mercenary, who then murdered his master. Just because. Remember kids, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words should never be used against a tree surfing murderer."

Everyone watched in either confusion or fear as Mercenary Tao appeared, proceeded to kill someone, and then hit a tree so hard it was sent flying, only for Tao to jump on and ride off.

"That's gotta be up there with Kirby's frying pan feat for weirdest thing I can't explain." Roshi blinked.

"So… what happened to that dude?" Goku asked. "He just sorta… vanished."

"Good."

"From that day forward, Mr. Satan swore he would never fight anyone whose identity was a secret or who seemed out of his league." Wiz remarked, and some footage of Hercule in… less than flattering scenarios were shown. Many drinks were taken.

"You still seem to have that problem." Vegeta remarked.

"Yeah, you're always paranoid whenever I invite you to spar with me and the others." Goku added, and Hercule sweat-dropped.

"I…uh…I'm usually busy, sorry about that." He lied, giving a characteristic smile. "Y'know… training with Buu, or getting ready for the next championship fight…"

"Right." Lazuli muttered, remembering how her fight against him went down.

"He kinda seemed to forget about that when Cell showed up…" Boomstick remarked.

"Yeah… why was that?" Beerus asked. "If this to be believed, you'd run from a fight against most of us, but against Cell you stood and fought?"

"Well, part of it was the 'being-humanity's-chosen-savior' thing, and the other part… I honestly thought he was just some guy in an over-designed costume."

"Ah, so another 'you'." Bulma remarked.

"Anyway, somewhere along the line, Mr. Satan married a lady named Miguel, and after a round or two in the ovarian ring, had a daughter." Boomstick continued, then showing Hercule hugging a random woman. Hercule and Videl looked to one another in confusion.

(* Not Actually Miguel) appeared over this.

"Unfortunately, his wife died… Damn." Boomstick added, then seemed to grow saddened somewhat.

Hercule sighed quietly, thinking back to his wife. He wished she could see Videl now… He didn't care about what she thought of his own achievements, he just wished the mother of his child could see how their daughter had grown… and on top of that… meet her granddaughter…

"Despite his grief, or maybe because of it, Mr. Satan never let his loss interrupt his... lifestyle. He kept training, kept fighting."

(*Cues: DBZ - Mr. Satan Theme*)

"He filled the hole in his life the only way he knew how. With more martial arts! He mastered techniques like his dynamite kick and his megaton punch, which sounds like they would make you explode or set the air on fire, or something epic like that..."

"Yeah, I tried that… it didn't end well." Hercule muttered, remembering having to explain to the fire department what had happened and why an entire block of the city was currently on fire…

FIGHTING STYLE

Philosophy Includes:

Daily Training

Pushing One's Limits

"Having A Wild Time All The Time" ("Yeeeeaaaaahh baby!" Was yelled from somewhere.)

Dynamite Kick

Megaton Punch

Can Use Rapid Movement Technique

Highly Skilled At Deception

Faking Stomach Aches

Playing Off Mistakes as Intentional Strategies

Working the Crowd

"...but in actuality, these moves just regular kicks and punches. He really only named them so he could scream awesome words while fighting." Wiz remarked, then added: "Hey this is anime after all!"

A number of the fighters drank.

"Yeah but we don-" Vegeta began but stopped when Skorch appeared with a remote, changing the channel to thirty seconds of most of the Z-Fighters screaming. Once it was done, Skorch changed the channel back and silently looked at Vegeta. "Yeah, I guess…"

"That's a good point. Why do we scream all the time?" Goku asked with a raised brow.

"Because Anime." Boomstick repeated.

Goku had a feeling that 'Because Anime' was the only answer he was gonna get, so he didn't press on.

"I feel more than a little underwhelmed by this guy right now." Boomstick commented.

"The feeling is mutual." Vegeta muttered. "Huh. Whaddya know, I'm actually agreeing with that idiot…"

"Well Mr. Satan's techniques were enough for him to legitimately win the 24th World Martial Arts Tournament becoming the champion of the world and the chosen savior to battle Cell." Wiz added in a more optimistic tone. Which didn't last long. "And while that was a good idea in concept, we already know how that went down…"

Cell proceeded to slap Hercule into a cliff side again.

"…y'know Gohan." Krillin remarked. "I was rooting for Cell to win that fight…"

"Aw, crap." Krillin muttered, feeling Hercule glaring at him. "…c'mon, that was years ago."

"Heh, I could watch that clip over and over. In fact..." Boomstick remarked.

Hercule then felt very personally attacked as the same slap was played six times in a row. Everyone else… was trying their best not to laugh. And failing.

"Heh, heh, heh, get away from me bitch."

"Ouch…" Goten winced.

(*Cues: DBZ - Saika! Tenka-Ichi Budokai*)

"This does lead to one of his more… notable characteristics." Wiz remarked. "Mr. Satan actively avoids fighting people who clearly outclass him, such as the Sayians and Androids, mostly to save his own reputation. And when he does fight them… it dosen't go too well."

"Well yeah. I'm a normal human fighting… YOU GUYS!" Hercule said defensively, as his fight with No. 18 was shown. Namely, him hitting her full-force, but she didn't flinch. At first, it seemed like Piccolo was going to cut him down again, but stopped when he realized something.

"Actually, that's a fair point. Against regular people, you've got a bit of a strength advantage as well as actual training to back that up. But against us… not so much."

"The first time he saw people flying and shooting beams out of their hands, he thought it was a bunch of cheap tricks and pyrotechnics. Which… okay, that's fair. The idea can seem a little insane, even to me when I'm drunk." Boomstick conceded as puppets seemed to be reenacting the fight. "But… Even after seeing the most epic Kamehameha beam struggle of all time, he still denied everything, despite the clear, obvious proof to the contrary."

"Agh. This was a mistake." Krillin muttered, finishing his fourth beer.

"Like a Flat Earther. Or Anti-Masker." Skorch muttered.

"It's a trick! It's all a trick, I swear! Someday I'll bring it all to light! I will!" Hercule exclaimed, hiding behind a rock as two beams were striking one another.

"I can't believe that you're still saying that!" Caroni shouted from behind him.

"So… when did you start believing all that?" Goku asked.

"Honestly, once Videl and Gohan started dating, and I saw you guys… being you, I kinda realized there really wasn't any other explanation." The World Champion admitted with a shrug. "I still don't get it, but at this point… why question what you see?"

"But just in case he finds himself in over his head, Mr. Satan is packing an assortment of capsules containing jetpacks, disguised explosives, and even missile launchers." Boomstick remarked as Hercule threw a capsule down and a giant rocket launcher appeared. "Man, if those existed in real life... it'd be a TSA nightmare. Still, those things seem like they'd have some real useful uses…"

"Do you still use those?"

"Nah, not recently."

"Dumb question, is it possible for someone to be transported in one of those?" Krillin asked, having a weird thought.

"I don't know. And I don't want to know." Bulma answered.

"And while Hercule does excel somewhat at fighting If there's anything he's extremely good at, it's public performance." Wiz continued. "He often weasels his way out of dangerous scenarios with lame excuses like faking stomachaches, and somehow the entire world buys his crap every single time…"

"I did it!" Hercule shouted after a few moments of confusion. "For years I've been trying to perfect a variation of the megaton punch that uses latent energy that causes a delayed reaction to catch my opponent off guard!"

The scene cut to everyone cheering, except the Z-Fighters who blinked in disbelief and didn't say anything. Most watching found themselves following their animated counterparts' example. The others were finishing their drinks.

"Agh… this was a mistake." Vegeta muttered. It took a lot to get a Sayian Warrior drunk, but he figured after this battle… he'd be in the hospital for a few days trying to get over his headache.

"When in doubt, work the crowd. I love all of you!" Boomstick shouted.

"Who are you talking to?" Wiz asked.

"Every. single. one of you! Like and subscribe! Fave, follow and review! Read all the other stories!"

"I mean, he's not wrong." Piccolo conceded. "If you're able to get people to follow you based on your charisma, it's probably the most dangerous weapon anyone could have."

"Yeah, if you run a cult of personality, you could make people do anything you want!" Goten nodded.

"Kinda like what Hercule does."

"Heck forget a cult, if you got into some sort of political position through that, things would probably end up getting weird, fast." Vegeta nodded.

"Unfortunately, that has happened before…" Roshi muttered, shaking his head. "And more often than not, it ends with a lot of people dead. The issue being… they're okay with it. There're some crazy dudes that will convince anyone who listens to them that killing themselves is a good idea. Comparing Satan to that… he's not really that bad."

"Are we talking about Hercule, or the Mythological one?" Goku asked.

"Yes."

FEATS

None. ("HEY!")

(Just Kidding)

Pulled Four Tour Buses By Himself

Ripped Three Phone Books At Once

Ran Behind A Gunman Faster Than The Human Eye Could See

Won The World Martial Arts Tournament Up To 26 Times… Most Of The Time By Cheating

Won Once Legitimately

Befriended/Reformed Majin Buu

Raised A Daughter

Cell Hit Him Into A Cliff and Merely Hurt His Head A Little

Fought Kid Buu And Survived

"Mr. Satan is a master of deception, an excellent actor, and a complete fraud." Wiz continued, causing Hercules' self-worth to be stabbed once again. "But at the same time, he is still strong enough to rip three phone books in half and pull four buses by himself. Not through any sort of power or super-juice, that's just his raw strength. And once he actually moved faster than the untrained eye can see… but forgot bullets move fast too."

"Idiot… What the heck happened?!" An Australian voice shouted, looking down a cliff at someone face-down on the ground. Almost immediately, both Buu and Hercule seemed to get really, REALLY pissed. The sudden shift in emotion was enough to make pretty much everyone back up slightly, as no one knew why this was happening, or what Buu would do.

"I HAPPENED!"

"What!?"

Without warning, Hercule Satan smashed into the ground, standing up and letting the anger in his body language speak for him.

"Go ahead. Pick it up!" He snapped. The blonde-haired man was clearly freaked out, and tried to pick up his weapon, only for Hercule to kick it out of his hands. "Now it's your turn!"

Everyone watched as Hercule proceeded to deliver a powerful, anger-fueled one-two punch onto the attacker, shattering his nose and knocking out most of his teeth before sending him flying.

"It was just a puppy! What the hell is wrong with you!?" Hercule shouted as he continued beating the crap out of the attacker. "And you tried to kill us too!?" This was finished off by him kicking the man off of the cliff, and causing him to smash into just about every rock as he fell.

"…so…what was that about?" Someone finally asked.

"That asshole was after Buu before things changed." Hercule muttered. "For some reason, he figured shooting Bee was a good idea…"

Across the dimensions, a man loaded a magazine into his pistol and looked up, feeling a cold fury run down his spine for a few moments. He looked around in confusion, then shook his head, put his gun into its holster, and picked up his phone.

"Mr. Wick, your transport has arrived." A voice said through a desk speaker.

"Yes… thank you." He said, shaking his head and coming back to reality.

"Well, if I have to say something nice about the guy... at least he's not Yamcha." Boomstick remarked.

"What the hell?" The swordsman muttered in disgust. "What was that about!?"

"Don't ask. It's a long story." Skorch called, briefly looking up from where he was working on Yamcha's sword.

"Throughout his life, Mr. Satan has won the Martial Arts Tournament of Worlds 26 times… although only one of them was legitimate." Wiz continued, his tone dripping with contempt and disappointment.

"Yeah, the other times he rigged it by having Mr. Buu kick everyone's ass and then lose to him on purpose."

"Is there a reason why none of you have issue with what he's done?" Beerus asked, looking to Vegeta and the others.

"I don't much care." Vegeta shrugged.

"Money." No. 18 remarked.

"At this point, it's just what it is."

"I don't know…"

"Those are all terrible reasons." Beerus blinked. "…whatever."

"Still it's pretty impressive that he managed to befriend one of the most dangerous and untamed monsters in the Dragon Ball universe." Wiz admitted. "Not even just befriending him, but essentially convincing him to not keep killing everyone."

"Oh, and one time he convinced the whole world's population to stick their hands in the air and then wave them around like they just don't care... but whatever." Boomstick shrugged.

"Boomstick, that saved the world!"

"Meh."

"Well, that's one way of looking at it." Videl remarked, and the others agreed.

"At the end of the day, Mr. Satan is motivated by three things: Money, fame, and his daughter, Videl, who he seems to prize above all else, and will do anything to protect. At the end of the day, he's a conman, and a liar, but not a bad person. He keeps his word on any deals he makes, strives to help the city he lives in, does genuinely care for his family, and was willing to do-or-die against Cell… for about five minutes."

"Hm. Name one thing you're better than us at." Vegeta asked, somewhat dismissively.

"Being a father." Hercule replied, not looking at Vegeta as he did so. "If you were half the father you were the fighter, things would be a lot different."

"Like how the world would be long, long gone." Vegeta shot back. "And we'd either have to ditch this place or end up dead.

"Yup, just like you."

"And your wife."

"Yeah, she died. I didn't abandon her."

"Oh, shit." Krillin muttered, saying what everyone was thinking as neither one of the men looked to one another, as if doing so would make them the loser of their fight. Skorch looked up then held a sign which read 'I don't have time to write more for this crap…'

"What genuinely angers me is the fact that I can't think of a good retort. Well played." Vegeta finally conceded, still not looking to Hercule. There was a quiet sigh of relief, and no one noticed the fist-bump of respect the two shared.

"He may be a bit of a con artist, but no matter what he's up against, Mr. Satan finds a way to rise above his fears through his own bravery and strength." Boomstick concluded, surprising everyone. There was a pause, then Boomstick realized something. "Wait did I just say bravery? I meant thick-headedness and straight up stupidity."

Hercule growled in annoyance, but knew there wasn't much he could say at this point. Hercule (on the screen) then ran forward off of a cliff. He seemed to be trying to fly, but then remembered gravity and fell to the ground.

"Ow! The pain! Ow... Ugh…"

Then the doors closed.

"Well, that was interesting." Hercule shrugged. "I really don't know what else to say."

"I'm kinda wondering who you're gonna be up against." Goku spoke up. "Like, no offence, but it doesn't seem like they have a lot of respect for you, so who are they gonna make you fight? I feel like they'd find another 'false fighter' or something."

"Yeah… I think the motif for this fight is 'theatrics' so to say." Bulma nodded.

"They said Street Fighter… are we gonna see another one of Ryu's friends?" Goten asked.

"If he is… I've got a feeling he's… Off." Trunks shrugged. "Like, he just seems like he shouldn't even be there."

DAN HABIKI

(*Cues: Street Fighter IV – Dan's Theme*)

"Conceptualized in retaliation of SNK's blatant rip-off of Capcom's characters, there was only one logical course of action…" Wiz began as a series of characters were shown being compared to one another, and there were a LOT of similarities. "Make fun of them right back! And because of this, Dan Hibiki was always meant to be a nothing but a complete joke."

"Hey. Do you hear that?" Skorch remarked, appearing out of nowhere.

"Hear… what?" Hercule blinked.

"That's the sound of thousands of Street Fighter fanboys getting ready to hurl insults at me for dumping on their joke of a character they Stan." Then the entity was gone.

"From a conman to a literal joke…" Piccolo mused. "This should be an interesting fight…"

"Dan had no natural talent in fighting people, or anything really, but his father Go Hibiki was a martial arts master with his own dojo." Boomstick continued, showing the man in a light pink Gi.

"Normally I don't like judging someone, but… there's something just… sad, about him." Chi-Chi muttered.

"One day, Go's dojo was visited by Sagat, an enforcer of the crime syndicate, Shadaloo."

BACKGROUND

Born: November 25th in Hong Kong

Height: 5'10"/177 CM

Weight: 163 lbs./74 kg

Rumored Descendant of the Vampire Donovan Baine (Most of the fighters now wanted to know who that was.)

Only True Friend is Blanka, An Electrical Eel-Eating Monster ("Sorry, can we learn about THAT guy?!" Someone asked.)

Designed as a Parody of SNK's Blatant Rip-Off Ryu and Ken Characters in Art of Fighting

His Gi Was Turned Pink When He Mixed Colours While Doing Laundry ("Seriously?" Was muttered by a few.)

"Well, there's your answer Goten. We're back in Street Fighter territory." Goku remarked, surprised to hear that Sagat was an enforcer for a crime syndicate. "Still, I thought Sagat seemed like a bad guy, but wouldn't've guessed he was an enforcer…"

"As an advocate of justice, Go refused to be intimidated by the crime lord and stood up to him the only way he knew how."

"A challenge to mymen is a challenge to me and my authority. You can see why this requires a response." Go said in a calm, even tone, looking up at Sagat. "If you want anything from me, you'll have to take it by force."

"Very well then." Sagat nodded. The two took stances, and Go shot forward, fighting with traditional Tai Chi movements, while Sagat countered with his (growingly infamous) Muay Thai style. Every time Go seemed to hit Sagat the giant of a man hit him right back, finally hitting him with a powerful palm strike, sending him to the floor.

"There's always something so cool about watching a fight…" Goku said aloud. "Not just seeing the fighting styles, but it's almost… like an art, in a weird way." He looked to Chi-Chi and asked: "That's the right expression, right?"

"Close enough."

"Is that the extent of your power?" Sagat asked as he kicked Go once more, leaving him bleeding on the floor.

Go didn't say anything, but he seemed to be focusing his energy into an attack, and Sagat blinked in surprise, then in a movement so quick it impressed most of the fighters, Go shot himself upwards and-

"BY KICKING HIS FREAKING EYE OUT!" Boomstick shouted as Go's foot connected with Sagat's eye, and literally kicked it out of his socket.

"Dude!" Trunks exclaimed in shock.

"That's gotta hurt…" Krillin winced.

"Impressive, for a mere human." Beerus remarked.

"The strength required for that… and the precision of the strike. That's impressive, I can see why he's considered a master." Piccolo nodded.

"Then Sagat brutally beat him to death in front of his own son… That should teach you to mess with a 7'4" Muay Thai monster." Boomstick added as Go was violently beat to death.

"Aw… I liked that guy." Goten frowned.

"He died defending his home though… So that's commendable." No. 18 said.

"Remember kids, in a fight, go for the eyes, then the knee caps. Or bring a gun." Skorch stated, walking by and over to the mini fridge.

"Unfortunately… it didn't. You'll understand why that's bad in a minute… Enraged and distraught, Dan swore he would avenge his father's death." Wiz continued. "To do so he sought out a legendary dojo hidden in the wilderness of Japan."

"Aaaannnddd… there's your first problem." Roshi sighed. "Using revenge or anger to motivate you to train or become better is fine, but if you only train to fight for the sole purpose of revenge, then you'll be trapped in a cycle of violence that never ends."

"Yeah, but isn't using the fear or anger of losing someone a good way to make sure you give it your all?" Goku asked.

"That's what I said kid." Roshi replied. "Anger is a great motivator, but you can't let it be the driving force, if it's riding shotgun, you should be fine."

"This thing is more elusive than child support to my ex!" Boomstick added, and more than a few of the fighters groaned in annoyance, but knew that there wasn't anything they could say to stop him.

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Lake Run*)

"Seems like the more time we spend here, more questions arise." Ryu remarked, looking at a wall covered in Japanese writings.

"Yeah, like who the hell is Dan?" A blonde-haired man remarked. He wore a red Gi in contrast to Ryu's white one.

"But against all odds, Dan found it." Wiz continued, but his tone wasn't one of respect or admiration, almost one of hesitation. "When he arrived, he was trained by its master Gouken, the same mentor who taught Ryu and Ken such legendary techniques such as the Hadouken and the Shoryuken, Dan began the difficult journey of mastering the use of Ki as a weapon of justice."

"This just sounds like the set up to a joke." Vegeta muttered.

"...Until Gouken expelled him because he just... just sucked!" Boomstick added.

"Mr. Hibiki, I have already explained why I expelled you. Your irrepressible pride and vengeful heart have no place here." Gouken spoke in a stern, but calm tone.

"Oh, and don't forget that YOU SUCK!" The blonde man remarked, leaning against a tree.

"…perhaps that is a factor."

"Pfft! How can you choose these talentless brats, over me!?" Dan remarked, offended.

"Wow. It's been… two minutes, and I already hate him." Vegeta muttered.

"I'm not gonna lie, I think I've got nothing to worry about." Hercule added.

"Well technically Gouken claimed it was because he didn't want his training only used for revenge, but, let's face it, he knew he was wasting his time." Wiz added.

"…this is just disappointing." Goku frowned. "Dan… how is he this…!? Ugh. Forget it… Maybe he's got some good fighting skills…"

"Damn. Even Goku sees how pathetic he is. That's really saying something." Krillin muttered.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

"However, Dan's determination for vengeance continued, he took the little he had learned from Gouken and combined it with some Muay Thai, which is kind of ironic because that's what got his father killed, but hey. Whatever works." Boomstick shrugged.

"In the end, this became Dan's very own martial art, the Saikyo-ryu fighting style." Wiz began, as Dan was shown fighting with his own style… and it looked BAD.

(*Cues: Street Fighter Alpha 2 - Dan Theme*)

"Unfortunately, while that sounds awesome, it didn't really work out..."

Dan was looking at a letter while the ghost of a girl appeared in the background.

"Honestly, all your moves look retarded in addition to being completely useless. See ya loser! – Sakura." Was read by a female voice.

"Dan's fighting style is well... it sucks! It's awful! There's absolutely nothing redeemable about it! He can barely hold his own in a fight, and while he can use special moves like the Koryuken and the Dankukyaku..." Wiz began.

"The… Danku…wait." Goten muttered. "Did he name a move after himself?! Is he really that full of himself?!"

"Yeah, even Vegeta isn't that full of himself."

"Piss off…"

"Also, isn't he just doing the Shoryuken and the… diarrhea foot, whatever that was called?" Krillin asked, watching Dan's moves with absolute indifference.

SAIKYO FIGHTING STYLE

Means "Strongest Style"

A Mixture of Muay Thai and Ansatsuken Fighting Styles

Gadoken "Self-Way Fist"

Shinku Gadoken "Quaking Air Self Way Fist"

Horyuken "Dazzling Dragon Fist"

Horyu Rekka "Dazzling Dragon Violent Fire"

Dankukyaku (A Blatant Rip-Off of the Tatsumaki Senpukyaku.)

Hissho Buraiken

Frequent Taunting ("Really?" Videl asked flatly.)

"Which essentially are the dollar store versions of awesome moves like the Shoryuken and the Tatsuma... Crap foot fight. Whatever it's called." Boomstick added, disappointment in his voice. It seemed like with everything that was said, Hercule felt more and more confident in his ability to win this Death Battle.

"Also, Dankukyaku? Did he seriously name one of his moves after himself?" Wiz groaned.

"If you had chosen this… ahem, 'fighter' to join us in the Tournament, I would've destroyed your planet without a second thought." Beerus remarked flatly. "Food be damned…"

"Yeah, he's pretty full of himself. Which is why the Saikyo's style's strongest technique is excessive taunting." Boomstick added.

"So, his main tactic is acting like a third grader?" No. 18 blinked. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"He can taunt while jumping, somehow increasing his air time, and somehow by focusing all his energy at once, Dan can perform a taunt so fearsome it will shock and amaze all who witness it... just by being the most worthless thing they've ever seen. This... is the legendary taunt." Boomstick said dramatically.

"Here I come! Hoyah! What's the problem? Don't underestimate me. I'm awesome! Woohoo! Piece of cake!" Dan taunted as he constantly performed rolls until he landed on his feet and continued to do an awkward thumbs up pose. Everyone was left dumbfounded in absolute shock and disbelief, then most of them shotgunned the remaining beers. Finally, No. 18 looked around and realized she had missed out.

"Skorch!" She shouted.

"Yeah?"

"Booze."

"Whiskey, vodka or tequila?"

"All." Was said by a few.

"What's the chall-"

"How quickly can we beat your ass into the ground?!" Vegeta snapped. Skorch blinked, then smirked, summoning some alcohol.

"Sorry, that is supposed to be his big attack? The fusion dance is more intimidating and distracting!" Trunks exclaimed, still taken aback by Dan's… taunt.

"But Dan doesn't only rely on pathetic taunts. He can manifest his Ki into a fireball projectile called the Gadouken. In a way, the Gadouken is symbolic of Dan himself as a person and a fighter."

"Yeah, it's tiny, pathetic, doesn't get the job done no matter how you use it, and doesn't last very long."

That got some laughs from the fighters. But looking at Dan's version of the Hadouken… honestly, they were wondering what Dan was doing.

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Three Days, Three Nights*)

"Despite this, Dan kept trying and training until he finally tracked down his father's killer, and offered to make his left eye match his right. In turn, Sagat politely offered to reunite father and son. The long-awaited clash of fists began, a clash in which Dan was bent on retribution."

"Nice eye, Sagat! Would you like the other one to match?" Dan remarked, getting ready to fight against Sagat.

"Tsk! So young to be without a father. Perhaps you should join him." Sagat retorted.

"Is Dan about to die before the Death Battle even begins?" Goku asked.

"What would happen if that was the case? I mean, Vegeta's died but then he came back, so if someone dies but comes back that's okay. But if someone dies and stays dead…" Piccolo began, thinking it over.

"I think you're overthinking this." Krillin remarked.

"But the show is called 'Death Battle'." Goku replied.

"…forget it." The Namekian muttered.

The fighters turned back to watch as Dan ran forward and performed one of his 'Dan-doukens' into Sagat's chin. The Muay Thai master immediately jumped back, avoiding the attack, and swung at Dan. Shockingly, Dan somehow avoided the attack before trying another attack, this one connecting with Sagat's face and sending him flying to the ground. Shocking everyone.

K.O!

"Buuut-" Boomstick began. "Oh, shit he won!?" Boomstick and everyone shouted in unison.

(*Cues: Street Fighter Alpha 3 - Theme of Dan*)

"Wait. DAN WON!?" Vegeta exclaimed in disbelief. "HOW!? Sagat murdered his father! How could DAN possibly…"

"…okay, maybe… maybe Dan isn't as weak as we assume…?" Yamcha muttered.

"No." Beerus and Goku said at the same time. "That's not the case."

"Yeah, probably."

"Unless Sagat was either intoxicated in some way, or simply threw the fight -for reasons I cannot possibly fathom- there's no way Dan could've beaten him."

"Yes, Dan finally found the recompense he had sought for so long and trained his entire life for... because Sagat threw the fight in pity." Wiz admitted.

"Oh, come on!" Goten shouted.

"That's just sad." Roshi muttered.

"Even I haven't done something like that, or had something like that happen to me!" Hercule exclaimed. "I mean… sure. Sagat killed his dad, but… he…"

"Completely unaware of his luck and now confident he was one of the strongest in the world, Dan founded his own dojo to, unfortunately, teach people his worthless martial art..." Wiz continued.

"Okay, I'm sorry. This is just getting offensive at this point." Hercule grumbled. "I'll admit I'm not the… warrior, I sometimes act like I am. But… they're putting me against… HIM!?"

"Thanks, Sagat, not only have you killed this man's father, but now you're ruining other kids' lives now too." Boomstick muttered.

"Sagat…" Videl muttered in annoyance, rubbing her temples.

"Perhaps I was wrong to assume Sagat was the warrior I may have believed he was." Beerus grumbled, disappointment clear in his tone. "Pity, he might have been useful."

"How? You can't bring him here to fight for you." Goku asked.

"He might be able to do so."

"Thankfully, you'll be happy to know that not many students actually enrolled in his class, part of it because his skills were clearly inadequate, and mostly because he didn't pay his phone bill and did not include his address in his commercial. Because of course he did." Wiz added in annoyance.

"This is just sad now." Beerus muttered.

"Hehe, classic Dan. By the way, what's up with the pink gi?"

"Well it was originally white, but then he accidentally washed it with color."

At this point, no one had the will or desire to throw more insults at Dan. If this had started as a roast of Hercule, it had quickly turned into a fully-fledged arson crime case against Dan.

And they barely had to do anything.

"Okay, okay, making fun of Dan is fun and all, but let's be honest, he's not a complete pushover." Wiz continued.

"Really?" Was collectively asked.

"He can take down multiple thugs at once, and endured a beating from Ryu and Ken simultaneously. No matter how many times he falls, Dan will always get right back up. Honestly, his tenacity is his greatest, and probably his only, strength."

FEATS

None.

(Again, kidding)

Took A Victory Against Sagat (Technically)

Single-Handedly Eliminated A Group of Thugs

Despite Near-Constant Hospitalization, Is Quick to Jump Back Into the Action

Did Create His Own Fighting Style

Can Tap Into the Satsui No Hado and Execute the Raging Demon.

"WHAT!?" Vegeta shouted, choking on his drink when he saw the last feat.

"Hold up. They can't seriously mean that he can do what Akuma can do…" Goten muttered, terrified by the concept of someone as incompetent as Dan being able to destroy souls.

"Knowing Dan, he probably can't effectively use it, but still. That's a terrifying thought."

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Akuma Rises*)

"Oh yeah, and remember how Gouken rejected him because of his thirst for vengeance? Well, the main factor as to why Gouken didn't want Dan to go on his vengeance quest, is because Dan can actually tap into the Satsui no Hado!"

For the first time all episode, the fighters felt somewhat nervous about the pink-gi fighter. In fact, some of them seemed frightened as Dan appeared, consumed by the power of the Raging Demon.

"Okay, they weren't joking." Goten muttered.

"Well this fight just got a whole lot more interesting." Beerus mused, surprised that someone as pitiful as Dan Hibiki was able to tap into this almighty power.

"This is the same evil energy that transformed Gouken's brother Akuma into an island smashing murderer." Boomstick added.

"We're not joking here. Once, Dan did manage to access his Satsui no Hado to use the dreaded Raging Demon technique. A move which obliterates the victim's soul. If anything, it kind of makes sense why Dan is able to do this. The Satsui is mostly powered by a person's 'evil' nature, and Dan's entire want for training was driven by vengeance." Wiz explained.

"Well, that is a fair point." Piccolo muttered, thinking it over. "Dan's whole thing has been based on anger and vengeance. Those are the traits that the Satsui seems to be most powered by."

"But… he's an idiot." Roshi replied through narrowed eyes. "And someone so stupid can have that much power?!"

"Goku." The Namekian replied.

"Yeah… but… hell. Even Goku isn't driven by hatred, and Vegeta's smart enough to not mess with that crap." The old master responded, still trying to get his thoughts together.

"Okay. If Dan can do it, so can I!" Boomstick declared. "Back up, Wiz. Here it comes!"

There were the sounds of straining, then what sounded like a fire, and then silence.

"Uh. Boomstick? You good?" Wiz asked nervously.

"Yes. I am fine." Boomstick spoke, his voice about eight octaves deeper than before.

"Okay… uh… I'm just gonna stand over here."

"That is acceptable."

"And that is horrifying." Trunks muttered.

"So, Boomstick is now a soul-destroying demon." Goku said. "That's… that's a thing. Great."

"Do you judge me?"

Goku and a few of the others reacted in fear as it appeared Boomstick was now addressing them. However, this was thankfully disproven a few moments later.

"No, I'm just… you want a beer?"

"I do not require such damaging liquids in my body. They are a waste of my- Agpth… agh… Whoa. What happened?" Boomstick began, but coughed and seemed to re-gain his mind and body.

"Nothing." Wiz immediately said, trying to steer the conversation away from what had just happened. "But more often than not Dan's a klutz whose overconfident taunting gets him into trouble. He is his own worst enemy."

"Still, even after crying like a baby from stubbing his toe, Dan doesn't let any of it keep him down for long. After all, who else will carry on the heroic legacy of Go Hibiki?"

"His sister. Thankfully." Wiz muttered.

"Koryuken!" Dan shouted, only to get punched in the gut by a green-skinned beast, being knocked out. "Father!"

Then the doors closed, No. 18 picked up the remote and hit pause, everyone looked to one another, trying to think of what to say.

"Well. If Dan can do that Satsui thing, that's gonna be a real problem." Hercule finally muttered, now unsure about what to feel about the upcoming fight.

"I think you've got it." Videl smiled.

"Dan could be a challenge, or maybe he won't be." No. 18 shrugged. "Hercule may be a bit of a coward, when he fights, he isn't incompetent. Dan seems like he can barely fight to save his life, and when he does fight, it doesn't seem to end well."

"Right here, right now, I can't believe I'm saying this. But I believe Hercule will win." Vegeta conceded. "Despite his history of manipulation, he did legitimately win the World Martial Arts Tournament once, while Dan's only true victory was because Sagat threw the match."

"Still can't believe he did that…" Beerus sighed.

"Sagat might be a bad guy, but he really seems to get into the worst fights." Goku added. "He got his eye kicked out, his chest ripped open, then he had to fight Dan…"

"Except he works for a terrorist organization." Chi-Chi said, looking to her husband.

"Not exactly." Skorch remarked, walking by and grabbing a cider. "Sagat was a bad guy, but he eventually realized he was in the wrong and ditched them. Apparently, he and Dan kind of built a repour with one another, Dan even forgave him. I think. I dunno."

"Well, I hope that's the case."

In the end, everyone decided to get to the fight, interested to see how or where it would go. The majority of the fighters believed that Hercule would win, but a few of them (Piccolo, Yamcha, Goten) believed Dan would win because of the Satsui No Hado.

"Alright, the combatants are set. It's time to end this debate once and for all." Wiz stated matter-of-factly.

"IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!" Boomstick declared.

The doors opened as the camera flew in through the gates to the World Martial Arts Tournament ring, spinning around into the air, showing the ring as the camera spun around then came to a stop.

"For our next round, make some noise for our beloved savior of mankind, Hercule Satan!" The announcer shouted as the crowd went wild. Entering from the left, Hercule smirked and tossed off his robes as he stood in the center of the ring.

"YEAH!" Hercule shouted, holding his belt up, it shining in the sunlight.

"And Hercule's challenger, the mysterious and infamous creator of the Saikyo arts, Dan Hibiki!" The announcer shouted next. Standing in the shadows, the illumination of teeth flashed on screen, and the sound of cracking knuckles were heard.

"Woohoo! Here I cooome!" Dan shouted as he ran forward, coming in from the darkness and into the light, heading towards the ring. Only for him to suddenly trip and face-plant onto the ground, and the entire ring went quiet.

"Yay, Dan!" A single member of the crowd cheered on the far side of the stadium, sitting a few seats away from someone who was sleeping.

"Ouch. I feel kind bad for that guy." Bulma winced.

"Dan or the fan?" Krillin asked.

"The fan."

"Ha ha! Nice moves, Hibachi!" Hercule laughed. "How 'bout you ring yourself out and save me the trouble?"

"You wish, chump! I hope you're ready for a beating!" Dan smirked, jumping up and bouncing back and forth.

FIGHT!

(*Cues: Super Mario 3D World - Pom Pom's Theme*)

Hercule and Dan rush towards each other, pathetically trading blows with each other. It seemed like neither one of them was trying, or didn't want to try too hard. Eventually, Hercule managed to knock Dan down to the ground. The rather lackluster beginning was to be expected, but Yamcha was thinking back to how the Goomba and Koopa fighting was somehow more energetic and electrifying.

"Ha! A weakling like you stands no chance!" Hercule laughed. To his credit, Dan spun around, getting back up to his feet, and lunged forward, trying to throw a punch which Hercule leaned backwards to avoid, followed by a kick which he ducked under. Hercule then tried to hit Dan, but he jumped surprisingly high, avoiding the attack.

"Folks, it seems like the Champion has met an opponent as fast as him! But it looks like Mr. Satan wants to end this quickly! Which of his patented finishing moves will he use?!" The announcer shouted, and to his credit, he did keep those watching captivated.

"DYNAMITE KICK!" Hercule shouted, launching forward with his flying kick attack.

"AAAH!" Dan shouted, ducking like a coward and sending Hercule flying across the ring, landing on his back.

"I don't believe this! He's avoided the champion's most devastating attack!"

"By doing what anyone in their right mind would do." Vegeta said flatly, not much caring for this fight so far.

"Hey, I… yeah." Hercule muttered, knowing this was a fight he wasn't gonna win. But maybe the one they were watching he could. If what Skorch said was true, and they'd all be in one of these Death Battle episodes eventually, if he won this fight. That'd mean he'd be on the same level as… Vegeta. For now.

"Uhh... Ha! I psyched him out!" Hercule laughed. "He'll be too terrified to throw a single punch!"

Hercule's smugness was cut off when Dan punched him righ tin the face, the shot playing in slow-motion, as Hercule's whole head seemed to ripple and slowly jerk to one side from the force of the impact. This was followed up by a string of fast, and furious, punches. He finished his string up by kicking Hercule across the ring, bringing him dangerously close to ending up with a ring out.

"Woo Dan!" The one fan cheered. The sudden shout made the sleeping figure jolt awake and looked around in confusion.

"Wait a second…" He muttered. "Where's the robo-ninjas?"

"Hey, wasn't that Skorch's friend who showed up like an hour ago?" Goku asked.

"Oh yeah… that's the guy who's showed up throughout the battles." Krillin realized still feeling a little off from all the alcohol.

"Who?" The one Dan fan asked. "We're here to see Hercule Satan and Dan duke it out."

"Huh. I slept through the good battle… Well, I'm out." The teen remarked, getting up and walking off.

"Woohoo! Behold the glory and raw uncontained power of the Saikyo Style!" Dan shouted before beginning his 'legendary taunt'. "Heya! Hoy! Hiya! Woya! Hiya! Woya! Ai!" Dan kept rolling forward and posing, getting closer and closer before giving an awkward thumbs-up.

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I'm honestly amazed how absolutely pathetic that is." Beerus blinked.

"I'm sorry, what exactly just happened?" Whis asked, having passed by for the briefest of moments, only to see Dan's taunt.

"There isn't a good answer, just- whatever." Beerus shook his head.

Hercule's eyes comedically widened and his jaw hit the floor in utter astonishment at what he had just seen. IRL Hercule felt embarrassed that if someone did do something like that, he probably would've reacted in a similar way.

"I've gotta remember that…" Hercule muttered.

"And now, behold my ultimate attack! Shinkuuuuuu..." Dan began, seemingly charging some sort of unseen attack. After a few moments, his Ki, or whatever Hadouken's were made out of, began to appear between his hands, which clearly freaked Hercule out.

"No, no no no! Is that what I think it is? What do I do?" Hercule's inner voice was speaking now, and the fear seemed… familiar. There was a brief flash, and Dan was Goku for about a second, then back to Dan.

"I could dive off the arena! Say I slipped off due to my sheer muscle mass and stunning aura! He he. Yeah!" Hercule thought again, and a few of the fighters groaned. Some out of embarrassment for what they were watching, and others because they had to keep drinking.

Meanwhile, Dan continues charging up his ultimate attack. However, the small sphere didn't seem to be growing, at all. Hercule [paused, seeming to re-gain his composure and looked at Dan once more.

"Holy crap. How long is this going to take?" He thought.

"Gadouken!" Dan shouted. The wannabe Hadouken projectile pitifully puttered towards Hercule for about five seconds, then disappeared with a farting noise. The whole stadium went quiet, the only sound being crickets chirping.

"Wow. Even by his own standards… that was just sad." Goku muttered, finally having run out of hope that Dan might be able to put up a decent fight and possibly even win. How did they go from Akuma, Zangief, and Ryu to… Dan?

"Yay… Dan…" The one fan weakly muttered, seeming to grow disheartened with the fighter he was supporting.

(*Cues - DBZ - Mr. Satan Theme*)

Hercule looked around, and seemed to realize what he needed to do: "Uh... yeah! Ha ha!" He laughed victoriously. "I've done it! After years of training and grueling exercise, this pathetic phony's cheap tricks won't work on me! Ha!"

"Agh… this was a mistake…" Krillin groaned, feeling his head growing heavy as he downed another drink.

"Wait. We were still doing that thing?" Bulma asked, looking to Krillin surprised. It now occurred to the Z-Fighter that he had been the only one still in the drinking game. The others had been drinking at random intervals… while he was getting close to blacking out. However, the crowd loved it and went wild. Hercule smirked, knowing that those in 'D-Zero' at least knew how to make him seem good.

"Astounding! Never in all my life would I have guessed that the secret to countering such an attack was to act like an absolute coward?!" The announcer exclaimed in amazement. This got a laugh from a numb er of the fighters and Hercule spoke in unison with his DB counterpart.

"Yeah! Wait what?" They said at the same time. While he was distracted, Dan ran over and grabbed the World Martial Arts Champion, and struggled to throw him. Eventually he succeeded, but when Hercule hit the ground, his capsules spilt out, revealing various weapons.

"I'm sorry. What's this?" The announcer asked in disbelief. "Is it just me or has Mr. Satan illegally smuggled weapons into the arena this whole time!?"

"Oh crap! My backup plans! I can't go out like this!" Hercule thought in panic before quickly coming up with a lie. "Uh... what? I've never seen these before. At all. Obviously, my challenger snuck them into my robe to get me disqualified! The coward can't even face me like a man!"

There was silence, then the announcer spoke up.

"Well. That's all I need to hear!"

"Again. Cult of Personality." Roshi muttered.

"Sweet! A jetpack!" Dan exclaimed picking up and putting a jetpack onto his back. "All right! Time for the next evolution of my master martial art moves! The ultimate rocket booster Saikyo style of doom!"

Dan kicked the jetpack into action, only for it to sputter and spew a little bit of smoke, but didn't engage.

"This should end well." Goten remarked flatly, beginning to regret voting for Dan to win. But then again, there was the Raging Demon…

"Well that's disappointing... ARGH!" Dan began, but screamed when the jetpack suddenly came to life, sending Dan flying upwards and all over the place. The camera pulled back, showing the arena at a distance with Dan zipping about in the air. Zangief who was still on the beach, looked up and blinked.

"Dolbannyy idiot…" The Russian Wrestler muttered. No one present knew what Zangief had said, but they assumed it was something they shouldn't repeat.

(*Cues: Rabbids Go Home - Bãtutã Din Moldova*)

"Great… Only one more capsule left, but I don't remember what's in it! I really should've labeled these things…" Hercule thought, looking at the capsule he had in his hand. However, he was ripped back to reality when Dan began flying around Hercule so quickly, it was all a blur.

"Gotta think of something fast! This guy's good, I can't track his movements! Wait. Just focus… then… STRI-"

Hercule seemed to collect himself and attempt to strike the flying Dan, but all he ended up doing was getting grabbed by Dan as they shot off, propelled by the jetpack. Now, they were erratically punching one another, just trying to survive right now. They kept flying erratically around the arena while bumping into Hercule's other capsules which reveals other random items such as a torpedo, a pirate ship, a shotgun, a Bob-omb, and other items.

"In all honestly, this is kinda fun to watch." Roshi admitted. "It's just so… bizarre."

"THAT'S the word I've been looking for!" Videl sighed in admittance. "Yeah, bizarre. That's the best way to describe what's happening!"

"Okay, seriously what the f-" The announcer began, seemingly at his breaking point, but quickly corrected himself. "I mean, uh… what an unprecedented spectacle! What ingenious strategy could the champion be planning?!"

Surprisingly, Dan managed to get control of the jet pack, and kicked Hercule to the ground, but then shot down and punched him back into the air, then flew in all directions, hitting the Champion and seemingly taking the upper hand. Grabbing Hercule, he threw him straight down, slamming him into the ring on his back. After the impact which made a few of the Fighters wince, Hercule groaned in pain as he smashed into the stone floor.

"Oh yeah! I got this!" Dan declared, only for the jetpack to give out. "Ah, crap." Dan screamed like a girl and fell back to the ground, crashing into the ring. However, Hercule managed to pull himself up.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

"I can't believe it folks!" The announcer shouted in amazement. "Against all odds, the match is still on! And Mr. Satan's limitless tenacity has clearly worn down the challenger."

"Ah ha! Yes, that's right. I tired him out. Me! Mr. Satan. That was my plan all along!" Hercule declared as the crowd cheered. "Y'know… mocking someone who was down is what got my mentor killed… but heck. It's not like you have some sort of superpower that could destroy my soul!" Hercule laughed, while the real Hercule groaned. "I knew your father. He was a warrior, you… man. You're nothing but a joke. I guess the Hibiki lineage dies with him."

"Oh, come ON." Hercule groaned, rubbing his face. "Am I seriously asking for this?!"

"Yes." Was flatly and collectively said.

"That was rhetorical."

"I still think you've got this." Videl shrugged.

"What am I doing? I can't lose to this joker! I have to win! FOR MY FATHER!" Dan shouted, his eyes suddenly turning fire-red and his whole body being consumed by a light red-pink aura. Hercule took a step back in fear as the Satsui No Hado came into play.

"Well, let's see how this goes." Piccolo blinked, not totally sure if this would work, but interested to see what Dan did.

Dan took a stance and slowly moved his arms in a motion to create a sort of taunt to keep Hercule nervous.

"DIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Dan shouted as he ran forward, the ground cracking and tearing itself apart, the world seeming to be consumed and the clouds turning to a ash-gray and night black as if a storm was coming in from nowhere. It really seemed like despite how weak he was, Dan was going to win this-

Dan tripped on the jetpack, and fell into Hercule, sending the capsule into the air.

"….."

No one spoke. No one knew what to say. It was disappointing, really. No matter how weak any of them were, no matter how much they failed, they gave it their all. They fought to the last one of them to defend those they cared for. Even Hercule could fight when the time came…

"All that... The freaking… RAGING DEMON… AND HE STILL SCREWS IT UP!?" Vegeta finally shouted, at the end of his rope, essentially saying what everyone was thinking.

"Man, the only reason I haven't changed my vote is because I feel too bad for the guy." Goten admitted.

"Hold on… I just realized something. If Hercule wins, he won without cheating…" Goku began, realizing something, and everyone looked to him in curiosity or confusion. "Okay, setting aside the capsules and stuff, Hercule never used them. Every time he and Dan fought, it was always… Him!"

"Yeah. You're right!" Yamcha agreed. "Nice!"

That did seem to lift Hercule's spirits, who was rather embarrassed with how he had fought throughout the battle, but that was something he could be proud of. He wasn't sure if he could kill a man, but maybe Dan would kill himself through his stupidity… and yeah! He hadn't used any of his capsules, all of it was his skills!

"Aw, man…" Dan groaned, having reverted back to normal as Hercule grabbed him.

(*Cues: Resurrection "F" - Our Hero, Son Goku*)

"Watch closely folks, you're about to witness the strength of HERCULE SHENRON-DANG SATAN!" Hercule declared, and then unleashed a series of powerful punches onto Dan, who sent him flying in different directions with each strike, only for Hercule to grab him and pull him back into another attack.

"I don't believe how this has turned out everyone! But it looks like this is the end!" The announcer shouted.

"Yeah ha ha ha! You know it! This. Is. Over!"

The capsule then falls down and Dan accidentally swallows it. They hear it go off in his stomach and both looked to one another with a frightened look, as neither of them knew what was in it.

"Aw ma-" Dan began, only to explode as a jukebox appeared. This wasn't what anyone had expected… but then again, they didn't know what to expect.

"See?" Bulma remarked. "This is why I always told you guys those things could be dangerous if you misused them."

The jukebox began playing a song with a very upbeat tune that seemed… familiar, for some reason.

"Don't stop! Don't stop! We're in luck now! Don't stop, there's no fun to be found. We can't find paradise. All we have to do is go! Go! Free your soul! Don't stop! Don't stop! We're in luck now!

Don't stop, there's no fun to be found. We can't find paradise. All we have to do is go! Go! Free your soul! Dragon Soul!"

"That's a nice song." Roshi remarked. "What's that from?"

"I dunno… but it feels like I've heard it a million times…" Goku agreed.

"Whoa! I've never seen anything like that!" The announcer exclaimed in shock. "He punched him so hard he turned him into a jukebox! I mean… I don't… Whatever! It can only be the champ's new technique, the Karaoke Punch!"

"What… I… I can't believe that happened! Ha!" Hercule mentally laughed victoriously, now working the crowd once more. "I need to change my pants..."

"...champion, Hercule Satan!" The announcer concluded.

K.O.!

The crowd goes wild as Hercule celebrates on the jukebox while Dan meets his disappointed father who rolls his eyes at Dan in heaven and starts crying. The fighters who were rooting for Hercule cheered victoriously as Hercule had managed to win, and somehow hadn't cheated. But furthermore, had survived a fight against someone who knew the Satsui No Hado.

"Hell yeah!" Hercule cheered, fist pumping the air, which Buu copied, not totally knowing what that meant, but just happy his friend had won.

Results

(*Cues: Cha-La Head-Cha-La (Instrumental) - Dragon Ball Z: Budokai*)

"Now he can disappoint his father in the afterlife." Boomstick remarked, which a number of the fighters found a bit harsh…

"So, while Hercule Satan and Dan Hibiki may be pretty pathetic in context. That doesn't mean they're nothing but a comic relief." Wiz explained. "Something to keep in mind here; before the Cell saga, Mr. Satan was a legitimate world champion, who had trained his entire life, and had skills in fighting."

"Unlike Dan, who has proved he can barely fight his own shadow, and only one confirmed win out of his name… and it was handed to him out of pity." Boomstick continued.

"And Mr. Satan has proven time and time again that he is stronger than the average athletic man. Which is the important thing to note here; while Hercule can be a complete and total coward when it comes to fighting Ki users, that's still comparing him to the likes of Goku and Vegeta… who were born to a warrior race, aren't technically human, and can destroy planets. But against human competitors, Hercule is a legit fighter."

"Those… are all fair points." Roshi conceded. "Honestly, even against Ryu you might have had a chance. Or it'd at least be a much more marital arts focused fight…"

"And yeah, you did actually win the world tournament, and you've been training all your life. Dan… is Dan." Chi-Chi nodded.

"Seriously! He once pulled four tour buses which is nearly 60 tons, and then he punched through one of them! That's a sheet of steel right there! On the other hand, Dan struggles to throw a single guy over his shoulder." Boomstick continued with the explanation as footage was shown of both fighters. "But, where Hercule had the strength advantage, Dan most definitely had the endurance advantage. He can take a lot of punishment and keep on going, which means he might have been able to outlast Hercule and then take him down."

"Sure, but that would take strategy, something he clearly doesn't know the first thing about." Trunks snarked.

"And while Dan can take on some of Shadloo's strongest fighters… he doesn't win, per say. He genuinely lacks any real sense of physical strength. While Mr. Satan once broke through a tower of 19 tiles with a single chop, and is the only character in Dragon Ball history to have fought both Cell and Majin Buu... and not die."

"Think about that." Boomstick added in utter disbelief.

There was silence, and everyone looked to one another, trying to think about when Hercule had gone up against Cell and Buu… and every time he did fight them. He survived.

"They're right…" Someone finally muttered. "Wow."

There really wasn't anything else they could say. Wiz was right, Hercule hadn't died after fighting Cell and Buu… sure. He didn't win, but neither one of them would've spared him out of pity.

"In the end, Dan's Ki attacks were his ace in the hole, and probably his only way to kill Hercule." Wiz continued. "But… in true Hibiki fashion, it amounts to nothing but failure. Just like the time he pulled off the Raging Demon, only to be stopped by a high school girl's backpack."

"The Ki to Dan's failure came from within." Boomstick added.

"The winner is Hercule Satan." Wiz concluded.

Everyone continued talking about the fight, Hercule felt great about himself right now, having taken a victory in Death Battle, and there was something about that which gave them determination for the upcoming tournament. Off in the distance, they noticed that the place where the tournament would he held was getting very close now.

"Right… this was a mistake. I'm never. NEVER. Doing another double feature chapter. I don't care how many ties we get, I don't care what the polls say… I'm never doing this again." Skorch muttered in exasperation. "By the way. Polls in the profile, you'll wanna check them out. Anyhow, thanks for sticking around and enjoying the story! True story… I planned on doing Goku vs. Superman when we hit five hundred follows and favorites, but we hit that so much faster than I anticipated so… heh. Sorry… Anyhow, let's look at some reviews! First we have one from 'nightmaster0000' who wrote…

Absolutely brilliant and all around quite amusing chapter. Hmm won't lie kinda of curious now how the Z Fighters would react to DevilArtemis Cell videos

"I think I got some of those lying around here… I'll get back to you on that. Next is another review from 'DoctorWhoDat', who wrote…

Hmm. I was slightly confused, but I think I get it. This is just your version of the first MvS fight. You didn't combine them, you were just remaking the first one and just trying to make it as convincing as you could why Wiz and Boomstick would come to this conclusion first, but then change their minds later. You might have to have Wiz/Boomstick say something about "after looking back at this battle, we feel we didn't look extensively enough into either character" during the sequel.

"Eh. We'll see when we get there. I'm just taking what's given to me and then working with it. Next is one from a 'Doctor Corvus', who wrote…

*Doctor Corvus makes a gesture to come closer and whispers*

It's a great chapter

"Thanks! Uh, I'd come closer, but one. We're in different dimensions, I think… and two; social distancing and all. Next is one from 'Artorias78' who wrote…

I never thought i could enjoy death battle or fanfiction more, but reading this story has proved me wrong. The way you go so in depth with the analysis and write your own updated fights is so enjoyable to read, i hope you keep going with this story and that everything goes well. thank you so much for the chapters so far. Till next time

"Thanks for the kind words! I enjoy writing this story, and I enjoy giving it my own spin… okay, two reviews left. First one is from 'The AnimatedGamer' who wrote…

When you eventually get to Dante vs. Bayonetta, might I suggest giving Bayo the Umbran Armor to counter Dante's Sin Devil Trigger? It may not impact the result, but if you choose to include Dante's updates from DMC5, I figure it'd be the best thing in Bayonetta's arsenal to keep things relatively even. Plus, a Magic Mech Suit vs. a Giant Winged Demon HAS to make for a good scrap, right?

"YES. That sounds awesome. But I haven't played DMC Five yet, so I'll probably have ot look into it before I get to that battle, but that won't be for a while, so… yeah. Finally, we have one… huh… wow."

Skorch blinked and looked around for a moment.

"Yo! Beerus! Come here a sec!"

"What?" The God of Destruction asked annoyed, not liking being ordered about by someone he saw as an inferior.

"Never had this happen before… But uh, one of the readers has a question for you."

"Readers?"

"Yeah. Them."

"Who?"

"Them." Skorch remarked, pointing to the readers who most likely were all beautiful in their own way.

"…I'm sorry, who are you talking about?"

"THEM! The readers!"

It took a few moments, but realization seemed to dawn on Beerus, who whirled on Skorch in anger and annoyance: "Wait. You mean the ones you've told us about, the… 'Dimension Zero' ones, are still watching us?! Even now?!"

"Yup."

"Where are they…?! All I see is us…How long have you known about this?!"

"Look, don't worry too much about it. There's a review from 'duvakinx1', and they've got a question for you. They write…

I have question for Beerus: How would you react if you were set to fight against Sailor Galaxia from anime and manga of Sailor Moon in death battle? The similarity between you and Galaxia is that you are both Gods if destruction with Egyptian motifs, also you and Galaxia have similar egotistical personalities, and have destroyed planets and star systems, ending countless lives. Both are also assigned to a certain sector that includes Earth (Beerus (i mean you) is the God of Destruction of Universe 7 while Sailor Galaxia is/was the Guardian of the Milky Way).

"Okay. First." Beerus began. "Who the hell is Sailor Galaxy? Second. Who the hell is this duvakinx1?! Third. Are you saying that I'M going to be in one of these things!?"

"…yeah."

The reaction seemed to hit him in waves. First shock, then disbelief, then confusion, then amusement, the pride, then blinding anger.

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS BUT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!?" He roared, grabbing Skorch and shaking him violently.

"Uh, no… I haven't been to D-Zero in a long-time dude." Skorch said defensively. "But… uh… yeah… I guess you're gonna be in one of these."

"Wow." The God of Destruction blinked, collecting himself. "Well, if this… duvakin wishes for me to grace them with an answer to their question… I believe whoever dares to challenge a God of Destruction to a fight will learn why I have that title. There is no way that fight would end with anything less than their complete and total annihilation."

"Fair enough!" Skorch nodded.

"We've arrived!" Whis called, getting everyone's attention. Knowing they would soon be in the company of many other humans and aliens who hadn't seen a watcher before, Skorch slipped on his overcoat and donned his human disguise. That of a dark-skinned man with reddish dreadlocks, and flipped open a pair of shades.

"Well, it seems like the tournament's gonna be starting next time! This should be fun… Until next time, keep your lights shining and I'll see you all around!"

Skorch casually walked off, catching up with the Z-Fighters as they made their way towards the interdimensional tournament. Maybe if Skorch had been better at being a watcher, he would've seen the small mass peek out from being a table and run after them, disappearing behind Majin Buu…