This was written for the 30 Day AU Challenge I undertook in April. This was Day 23: Bar AU.

NOTE: This is obviously a work of fiction. Please don't get in bar fights, kids. Violence is never the answer.

Pairing: Grimmjow/Ichigo

Rated: T for language, fighting, making out, suggestive drink names

I just wanted a happy little AU interlude after some of the more dramatic ones I'd tackled, but it's Grimmjow and Ichigo—somehow, someway they're going to get their fight. ;D

"It's supposed to be a bachelor party—lighten up, Ichigo!" Keigo yelled at him over the chaotic noise of the bar.

Ichigo just rolled his eyes as they looked around for seats, but he did try to loosen his typical scowl. He didn't want to ruin his friends' night, even if he didn't really drink and he definitely didn't enjoy crowds.

He'd gone past the neighborhood bar a lot of times, but it had never looked as busy as it did that night. Figured. There was apparently some kind of important sports game on because all the TVs were blaring and fans were clustered underneath them, screaming or booing in turn.

Ichigo was too busy with med school to waste time going out anymore. But, it seemed important to help celebrate Ishida's upcoming wedding. When they did actually meet up, Ichigo always felt like Ishida was silently judging him, just because Orihime had had a silly crush on him in high school.

Ichigo was happy that things had worked out the way they were meant to, and he was nothing but pleased for Ishida and Orihime. In fact, he was a little amused at how shell-shocked Ishida still looked about the whole thing, as though he was just now realizing he'd finally grown the balls to ask Orihime for a date, let alone actually ask her to marry him.

Ichigo knew that Ishida had just as few friends as he did since the only times they saw each other were on campus, but leave it to Keigo to rally the guys still in town and propose a night out. As much as Ichigo didn't like the rowdy bar, it was definitely worlds better than a strip club.

Mizuiro finally pointed at a table and pushed his way through the throng, Ishida, Keigo and Chad following him. Renji nodded at the bar, "We might as well go get a couple pitchers. They're too busy to have table service."

"Good idea," Ichigo agreed and followed him. The bar was standing room only, but Renji pushed his way in and cleared a path for Ichigo.

There were two women behind the bar, moving in efficient, coordinated tandem. It looked like they were used to serving the chaos and knew how to handle it. Renji placed their order and Ichigo leaned back to wait.

"You need anything?" a deep voice asked from behind the bar. Ichigo turned to see a big guy with blue hair had just taken a place behind the taps.

"Nah, we're good," Ichigo said.

The guy went on drawing drafts and looking at Ichigo. The green-haired bartender slid over two pitchers and a stack of glasses to Renji in exchange for his card. Ichigo took the glasses carefully and turned right around into Keigo.

"Aw, beer? I want a Sex on the Beach. Or a Slippery Nipple."

"You don't even know what those are. You just like the perverted names," Ichigo said.

"Bartender!" Keigo leaned around him to see the big blue guy. "Give me a Blow Job! No, make it two Blow Jobs!"

Ichigo choked on his own spit. He glanced at the bartender who just raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Let me guess," he said, "bachelor party?"

"Yeah!" Keigo cheered and Ichigo wondered if he hadn't pre-gamed. The people on either side of them were looking unimpressed as well. "Now, my Blow Job!"

"Keigo, take these glasses back to the table with Renji," Ichigo shoved the glasses into his hands and turned him in the right direction. "I'll get your drink."

Keigo started winding his way through the crowd, and Ichigo turned back to the bartender. "Sorry about that."

"No problem. I'll have your drinks in a minute. You the groom?"

"Thanks. Oh god, no, I'm not getting married." The bartender nodded, and Ichigo watched distractedly as he worked and joined the two women in an intricate dance around the limited space behind the bar.

He had some cash ready when the bartender sat down a shot glass and a cocktail glass in front of him. "What's that?" Ichigo stared.

"The shot is your friend's. The Screaming Orgasm," the bartender smirked with a flash of bright teeth, "is from me to you. You look like you could use it."

Ichigo felt the flush of heat rising up his neck and hoped the darkness of the bar would cover his blush. "Holy shit," he blurted.

The bartender leaned over the counter. "The first one is free. But you'll be back for more."

"Oh god," Ichigo muttered as he tried to pick up the drinks without spilling.

"It's Grimmjow, actually. You are?"

"Ichigo," he said and added, "Thanks. For the drinks. They look good. Bye."

And as Ichigo weaved his way back to the table, he thought this is why I don't date because my smoothest comeback is thanks, they look good.

He decided to spend the rest of the evening with his head down, preferably drinking as much as he could handle without having to talk to the hot bartender again.

Only his friends weren't privy to his plan. Ichigo didn't even get any of the beer from the first round, but he ponied up some money for another round and assorted greasy foods that Chad and Mizuiro went up to order.

Unfortunately, Chad came back with another drink that he set in front of Ichigo. In his usual quiet tone that Ichigo had to strain to hear, Chad told him, "The bar guy said this is a Quick Fuck, but if you prefer, it doesn't have to be fast."

Ichigo did a literal spit take then wiped quickly at his mouth. His eyes went right to the bar where of course the bartender was watching him with a grin.

Ichigo sucked in a breath and drank a sip while making eye contact with Grimmjow. Like hell he was going to give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing him embarrassed again.

"Ichigo made a friend!" Keigo crowed and even Ishida smiled a little along with everyone else.

Ichigo ignored the teasing and went back to eating fries with Chad.

The bar was getting louder and stuffier as the sports game seemed about to come to a climax. Ishida got to his feet to go to the bar, but Ichigo pushed him back down. "This is your party, we're not gonna make you pay."

Keigo talked his ear off as they waited to get up to the bar, so Ichigo was glad when he could finally flag the green-haired bartender and place their order. He thought he was off the hook when Grimmjow was working the other end of bar until he slid a glass over on a cardboard coaster.

He looked Ichigo straight in the eye as he said, "This is my version of a Leg Spreader. Let me know if it's working."

Ichigo absolutely did not whimper. Keigo absolutely did howl with laughter. He was still laughing uncontrollably as they pushed their way back to their table.

Then it happened. Someone pushed their chair back right as Keigo was trying to squeeze behind it, and it pinned him against another occupied chair, making him yelp and tip the pitcher of beer over. Of course the beer spilled on the two people sitting at the other table who shouted and swore. Ichigo could only stand there and watch it all go down.

Keigo was spouting apologies and trying to move, but the woman in the chair was confused by the noise and turning to look so she wouldn't pull her chair back in. One of the guys who was dripping beer jumped to his feet and got in Keigo's face, and Ichigo knew he'd have to get involved.

"Hey, just cool it. It was an accident," Ichigo said as he pushed the woman's chair in with a polite "excuse me" and pulled Keigo free to stand beside him.

"That fucking moron poured beer all over me!" said the man still sitting down and wiping his face with drenched napkins.

"Yeah, he's a moron, but he's our moron," Ichigo said. "Why don't I buy your next round and we call it even?"

"Like hell!" The guy started to stand up and kept on standing up like something out of a bad sitcom. Ichigo had to tilt his head back to look into his eye and eyepatch. He had to be seven feet tall.

"I don't want any trouble," Ichigo warned him as his friend moved toward Keigo.

"Well, this isn't your lucky day."

"It never is," Ichigo sighed. Then he felt someone at his back and looked around to see his friends gathering behind him.

"What's going on here," Ishida asked calmly.

"Your fucking friend poured beer all over us, and we're going to make him clean it up," the giant said. He reached out and shoved Ichigo who rocked back on his heels.

His buddy took a swing at Keigo who actually managed to duck it. Chad reached over and grabbed the guy's fist.

Ichigo exchanged looks with Ishida and thought about a video game they played when they were young. "Remember the Menos?" he said to Ishida who pushed up his glasses.

He sighed. "Your ideas are the worst."

"Yeah." Ichigo ducked the giant's fist coming for his ear and kicked out, sweeping the giant's feet out, and getting him down within arm's range.

Then it began.

Ichigo had never been involved in a bar fight and never thought it was actually a real thing. It was kind of interesting all the more provocation it seemed to take to spark, ignite and fuel what soon turned into a rousing battle.

When Chad threw the guy over his shoulder and he crashed onto another table, those men took offense. One of the women slapped another one. Fans of the losing team on the TV got sick of taunting from the winning team's fans and started swinging. Tempers frayed by every frustration in life snapped. Soon it was an all-out melee.

Ichigo didn't get a chance to see all of that. He was too busy trying to keep the big guy down without actually hurting him. Chad laid one guy out with a single punch while another was hanging off his back. Ishida had someone in a chokehold while Keigo threw a drink in their face. Mizuiro had his phone out and Ichigo swore was probably live streaming the whole damn thing.

Then a pink-haired guy caught him in the nose with a lucky punch, and it was on again.

Ichigo had to admit it was a little bit fun. Sure his nose hurt like hell and he had to keep spitting out blood because a punch made him bite the inside of his cheek, but it was kind of a rush.

Even the bartender Grimmjow waded into the battle, probably to try and break it up, but Ichigo thought it looked like he was having the most fun throwing people and punching indiscriminately.

When the sirens shrilled from outside and police officers started swarming in, it still didn't end. People didn't even try to run and escape. It seemed like they only fought harder at the thought of the fighting being soon broken up.

Ichigo tried to find his friends as the police started separating the combatants, but he was pushed against a table and into a hard chest. He immediately swung at whoever it was, but the cop grabbed his arm and before he knew it, he was handcuffed to the person next to him.

Luckily for him, it was Grimmjow who was laughing down at him. Ichigo relaxed a little and dropped his fist.

Another officer started pushing and shouting at them so they stumbled their way toward the door. Ichigo got a glimpse of Ishida calmly talking to a police officer while Mizuiro sat in a booth behind them, still on his damn phone. He couldn't see Renji, Chad or Keigo, but he hoped they were all right.

The officer led them to a squad car and opened the back door. "Sir, I swear, we didn't do anything wrong," Ichigo tried to explain in the comparative quiet of the street, but the cop just grabbed his head and pushed him in. Grimmjow fell in mostly on top of him.

"I can't believe this," Ichigo said, the reality settling on him. "I can't believe we did that."

"You're a good fighter," Grimmjow told him.

"You looked like you were enjoying it."

"I was. Weren't you?"

"I just can't believe it," Ichigo said again.

"Well, at least it gave me a chance to talk to you again." Grimmjow held up their cuffed wrists. "And look, we got friendship bracelets."

Ichigo chuckled before he could stop himself. Then he laughed harder. Grimmjow started laughing, and the hysterical edge of Ichigo's laughter smoothed over.

"We're in so much trouble," Ichigo said when his laugh turned to hiccups.

"Eh, I doubt it. No one's going to press charges. Nnoitra and his idiots are too drunk to even remember what happened. We all saw them take the first swing. The owner ain't about to press charges. I might make some money selling the video, if Nel doesn't take it first."

"So you're not even worried about it?!"

"Nah. I was just doing my job. And we'll all vouch for you and your friends. We're not even drunk and disorderly, just disorderly."

"Unbelievable," Ichigo said again.

"Hey, you wanna fight sometime? I haven't had that much fun in ages," Grimmjow nudged him hard.

"You have a problem," Ichigo informed him.

"So do you," Grimmjow nudged him again then leaned down. "I saw you. Your face all lit up as you kicked the shit out of them."

"It's been a long time since I've brawled," he said nostalgically.

"It made you feel alive."

"Yeah, it kinda did," he admitted.

"Let's do it again," Grimmjow leaned even closer.

Ichigo knew what Grimmjow was going for and he could have pulled away but he figured what the hell. He leaned in instead and they were kissing.

Grimmjow licked right into his mouth, and Ichigo wasn't in the mood for teasing either so he sucked it right back. Grimmjow growled, Ichigo shifted, and with a little help from a very cooperative Grimmjow, was soon straddling his lap. Having their wrists cuffed together was only a minor annoyance as Ichigo ground his hips against Grimmjow's, and Grimmjow shoved his free hand down the back of Ichigo's jeans.

They had a nice rhythm going when someone banged repeatedly on the window. Ichigo pulled back from the kiss but Grimmjow only growled loudly. The cop rapped again and swore at them.

"Come back later," Grimmjow said.

The cop yelled through the window, "You dumbfuck, stop that in my backseat! Are you the bartender?"

"Yeah, now leave us alone," Grimmjow bit on Ichigo's neck in full view of the cop, and Ichigo couldn't hold in a moan so Grimmjow did it again.

"The bar owner's here. He wants to talk to you."

"Tell him I'm busy."

"You dirty son of a—" the door opened and the cop reached in. Ichigo yelped as the cop tried to pull him off Grimmjow. There was some swearing and untangling of limbs before the cop got them both out of the car. Grimmjow adjusted himself ostentatiously, and the cop swore at him again.

"We're being told that you," he thrust a finger at Ichigo, "were a victim of this. And you," he gave Grimmjow another finger, "were only following instructions from your boss, trying to break it up."

"That's right," Grimmjow said. Ichigo started to speak but Grimmjow slapped his hand over his mouth.

The cop glared at them suspiciously but he was joined by two other officers. "Haven't you let these two go yet?" one asked in a tired voice.

"I don't like 'em," the cop said. "They know more than they're saying. And they were trying to fuck in my backseat."

"We got enough drunks to process tonight and enough paperwork to keep us busy all weekend. If these two check out, just let them go."

"Fine," the cop grumbled and started unlocking the handcuffs. Ichigo sighed a huge breath of relief. Grimmjow just rubbed his wrist and scowled. "But if I ever see the two of you again, I'm arresting you just for looking shifty."

Ichigo grabbed Grimmjow's arm to start pulling him away. It didn't stop him from shouting back, "Sorry about any jizz stains on your upholstery! I have a bondage kink!"

The cop yelled something back, but Grimmjow was laughing too hard for Ichigo to catch it. "Quit antagonizing the nice police officers that just let us go without any charges."

Grimmjow spun and backed Ichigo into the alley beside the bar. He pushed him against the wall and looked at him closely for a moment before kissing him.

"I was serious, you know," Grimmjow said after long minutes.

"About what?"

"I do have a bondage kink. And that cop was nice enough to help out." He held up the pair of handcuffs where Ichigo could see them.

"Holy shit, you stole them from a cop?!"

"You wanna give them a try?"

And the worst part was, Ichigo kinda really did. "I gotta find my friends, make sure they're okay," he panted against Grimmjow's mouth. Then he kissed Grimmjow again.

"I should check in with Nel," Grimmjow said reluctantly, but he didn't pull away.

"I'll go find the guys, you go make sure the bar's still standing, and we'll meet back here?"

Grimmjow gave him one more hard kiss and finally let go.

"And Grimmjow? Don't forget the handcuffs."

**Plot twist: Ichigo got a frantic call later that night from Ishida who got a call from Orihime because her bachelorette party ended up becoming a Hangover style epic adventure and she just wanted to let Ishida know she'd be home late because they kinda ended up in Vegas and sorta lost Momo but she was sure once they got Rukia bailed out of jail, Tatsuki off the MMA fight card, Rangiku clothed, and got the rest of the girls sobered up they'd be able to sort it all out.

Ichigo decided that a nice quiet bar fight was preferable and told Ishida he'd have to figure it out on his own because Grimmjow was whining again about his wrists chafing and Ichigo had to go do something. The something being Grimmjow.

Ishida hung up.