DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN PJO, HOO OR ANY OF UNCLE RICK'S BOOKS. CAUSE IF I DID. I'D MAKE PERZÖE A REAL THING

Author's note will be at the end.

Okay. Before anyone says anything, I can truthfully say that I didn't mean to warp into the Aphrodite cabin girl's bathroom. I had just thrown my sword when practicing to high ground to regain my bearings and- why are you staring at me judgingly!

Alright. Introductions.

My name is Perseus "Percy" Jackson, I'm currently 14 years old and I'm a demigod. What's a demigod? Well, you know greek mythology? Yep. Those big dudes hurling down lightning and bending time are real, that's about it. Really. It's the truth, we even have a camp for special kids like us whose parents are both god and mortal.

What do I look like? Well. I have... Black hair, poisonous green eyes (I like calling them poisonous, but they're just a few shades darker than the Demeter children) and I'm an absolute waste of flesh.

Yeah, I mentioned I was a demigod, what are my powers? Well. I can store up to four weapons at a time and 15 *special* weapons the gods give me and summon them at will-take this with a pinch of salt because I'm repeating what Chiron said. And I can do a super downgraded teleport in battle.

That's about it.

If you were looking for power then go to Thalia or Theo, they're the proper powerful people. Y'know, wielding lightning and bending water.

I haven't been on a quest at all, but Theo's been on two already and Thalia was just recently resurrected from the results of Theo's second quest and currently kicks ass.

Now that I've introduced myself, allow me to describe what happened.

--Linebreak--

"Perseus! Keep focusing on your defense! You've got that shield stored, use it!" A jovial voice shook me from my thoughts. The voice belonged to Theo, the black haired mischevious son of Poseidon who was currently seated in the backrows of the arena we were in and slurped his seaweed flavored milkshake happily.

"Easy for you to say!" I squinted at him in the dying daylight as a flash of electricity struck a nearby pillar which crumbled instantly when hit. "You didn't piss off Thunder Thighs!"

"Get out of here so I can kill you!" Said person screeched like a hell-kite and marched over towards my general direction, thank god she wasn't excellent at tracking sound. "Theo! Where the hell is he!" She pointed her spear at the son of Poseidon. The boy paled at the sight of her electric-blue eyes and dropped his milkshake when a lightning bolt struck the wooden bench next to him, setting it aflame. He stared at the burning bench and his spilt milkshake before nodding slowly.

"Ah... I just realised that I... Need to buy more seafood! Yeah! Seafood! See ya!" He quickly rose and darted out of the arena and headed to the general direction of the dining pavillion faster than the word "Sparky" could be said.

"PERSEUS JACKSON!" Thalia screeched. I paled, maybe I could warp to a tree and dissapear? I looked for any vantage point in a 30 metre radius. Nope, the only point was a brightly colored archway where I knew that Thalia was waiting for me to warp to. There was a lava wall, but I liked the sword Chiron had given me.

Yep. I was screwed, so what better choice than to throw my sword at the archway and pray it didn't hurt as bad?

Deciding now or never, I threw the sword. It headed in a perfect arc towards the archway and I started to warp, the edges of my vision seemingly stretching and glowing a light blue as I allowed my body to become one with my sword and land at the archway.

But why was the journey taking so damn long? I had estimated that it'd take less than 5 seconds and I always molecularly restructured when my body's speed would allow my weapons to pierce some pretty tough armor, in this case, stone.

So why was I covered in water and glass? My vision was clearing, the white blindness that always involved warping and the clear sound of shattering glass told me two things, my senses were returning normally; so that meant that I wasn't injured and that I hadn't been hit by lightning. But the sound also signified the loss of my 25th sword. My vision had cleared out enough for me to faintly see white shards fade out of existence. Yup, there went the weapon.

I looked behind me and tried to look through the window that I had come through, I could barely make out the details. But one thing was for certain.

I wasn't on the archway.

Where the archway used to be, there was now a smoldering pile of rubble from where the pillars used to be, I watched mutely at the destruction as I spied an empty diet cola can gently roll in the breeze. Great. Chiron was going to love this.

"Gods damnit Thalia, had to make me invade some bathroom"

I looked at the distance from where I had stood and how far I had thrown and whistled impressively, my throwing arm was getting a lot better, that was an insanely large distance covered even with my powers. Hell, I didn't even feel sick from the usual symptoms of long distance warping! I waded through the ice-cold water gathering at my feet and reached the bright pink door to whatever cabin this was.

Then, I promptly fell over, threw up and fainted.

And thus, my story began and ended.

--Line Break--

Exactly 3 hours of cleaning up and girly shrieks

"So, Perry Johnson, is that your account on the recent incident regarding the destroyed arena and Aphrodite cabin?" A skinny, underweight man took a swig from his 1 litre bottle of diet cola. He sighed and shook his head, mumbling something incoherent about demigods and responsibilities, he stood up. "Your actions have been deemed by me as annoying, rule-breaking and a waste of time" he walked over towards a tabletennis table and placed his bottle on a stuffed lion's head which hung on the wall in an eternal snarl. I didn't know if that was how it had died or that it was insulted to be a drink stand.

That tiny man? That was Dionysus, the greek god of wine. He had been sentenced to work at Camp as the instructor and had been forbidden to drink alcohol because... Well, I can't remember.

I stood up and followed him as he continued his stroll into the kitchen, ducking through a glittering silk cover into the kitchen, I stood straight as the god reached into the white stainless steel fridge and produced a taco.

"So, I've deemed your punishment to be suspended from camp-" His eyes flashed in annoyance when I started to interrupt in protest. "You brought this upon yourself, you've to go to Westover, a place where Demigods like you have some rehabilition" he mumbled through a mouthful of taco. I frowned at him, was Westover a school? Health Centre? Crematorium? Creepy Cult land? Disneyland?

"It's a boarding school" he munched on his lettuce thoughtfully "We haven't sent any canpers there lately because of Kronos and all of that but I lersonally don't think Kronos would do much to target a mortal school with a couple of... Troubled half-bloods." I frowned yet again, wasn't Kronos the guy that Theo had defeated last year? For the Golden blanket or something like that. I tended to not listen to Theo whenever he rambled on about his crazy quests.

"Anyway, Argus will take you, just tell him that you've to go to Westover, he'll get you to Olympus, take the second door to the right when you reach the transportation system." My mind was frazzled, what? I was going to Olympus?! My mouth must've been hanging open becuase Dionysus soon added "You won't be seeing sights, just a quick pop in with Argus and you'll be staying for a week. I'll give you half an hour to pack" With his verdict delivered, he pronptly returned to his "Ignore-all-demigod" state of being and returned to his taco.

I returned to my dorm soon after, well, it wasn't my dorm. The Hermes cabin was welcome enough to house most unclaimed children, which used to be an impossibly large number before Luke had convinced them to turn against Camp.

Luke... I had met him once, and that was just about during Theo's first quest, he had seemed nice enough, offering tours of the camp to anyone new who was lost and protected people from being bullied by Clarrise la Rue and her brothers from the Ares cabin. But who knew what he did alone, he seemed to dissapear when no-one needed him, or maybe his existence was so material to the campers that he seemed to dissapear when no-one wanted him around.

Was that a reason why he had abandoned Camp for Kronos? I picked up a sock and placed it in my clothing storage. Chiron had said that I must've been the son of a minor god of teleportation and storage. A weird combination, if you ask me. But Chiron had taught me how to sort specific compartments and how to summon them, I owed the knowledge of my powers to him. I repayed my debt daily to him by completely humiliating myself in fights and dissapointing him in all aspects of half-bloodedness. Even spelling.

I couldn't even store the most important thing in the world, cookies. Not just any cookies, but my mother's blue cookies. She made the greatest cookies that anyone could ever make and always made them whenever me and Theo visited.

My thought process then went to Theo, the boy who had it all. I wasn't jealous of him, that much, after all, he had saved my mother after she had been accidently captured by a fury for Hades when it thought my mother looked like him. He had power that I could only dream of, and he had gotten rid of Gabe, the useless waste of flesh that had always hated me ever since I was a child.

He had been on two quests, had Aphrodite girls swooning over him and the Ares kids respecting him as he was the only one who had ever beaten Clarisse before.

That was it, he and I were only friends because of a freak accident that had happened. I never even properly thanked him for saving my mother, it was hard to approach the mischevious boy, he would watch my fights and yell out obvioud tips that made me want to smack him, but other than that, the only times I spoke to him was when he had his friends in tow.

His friends...

"No, bad Percy, that's what Kronos feeds on and makes you turn" I scolded myself, trying to avoid the feeling of uselessness and insignificiance. "You do have people who love you, take your mother for example! And Thalia wouldn't kill you if you were her friend!"

But didn't my mother just love me bacuse I was her son? I did nothing for her when she married the waste of flesh called Gabe for my own protection, did nothing when she was captured because I was weak. Thalia just kept me around because I was friends with Theo, after all, who would like to be friends with me? With the lopsided smiles, freckled face and untamed hair? I chuckled sadly at my own joke as I finished packing up my belongings. That wasn't supposed to get dark. I laughed quietly in the empty cabin, of course it'd be empty, everyone was at dinner. Laughing, enjoying themselves with friends...

I imagined Theo laughing at Annabeth jokingly while she ate his vegetables that he had passed when he walked by the Athena table. I imagined how Thalia would be laughing with the Ares cabin about her recent scuffle. "That guy ran! And he went into the girl's bathroom! What a wuss!" I could practically hear them howling with laughter. I imagined my mother, happily dining away at a mortal restaurant without any worries because of Theo, not me.

I tried to imagine myself with them, to laugh like they did, to try to believe the mockery was jokes, and that I was a better fighter.

I tried to imagine myself as not being weak as I threw another Camp t-shirt into my messy storage. Not weak, the weak were friendless, who would like someone weak? Someone who had beeb unclaimed?

I tried so, so hard to create the perfect scene, where I had finished my camp lessons for summer, laughing with people who didn't scorn me behind my back, who didn't laugh at my powers or my skinny frames. It was a scene where I was claimed by my Father, and he-a blurred out face, yet some features were noticeable- had a distinct mischevious smirk on them as he laughed at a joke a blurred out face had said. My mother walked over, next to the bright blue Jaguar that she had recently bought from her hard work in the mortal world, free from monsters because I was protecting her. I'd get in the car, ny friends sad to see me go for the summer and I'd leave, happy and content that my life was going great.

Yeah, I'd like to have power. To not be weak.

"Perseus Jackson, time's up, let's go" Argus had appeared at the doorway of the dark Hermes Cabin, the glow of the campfire lighting up his features. Squinting my eyes at the sudden light, I nodded slowly before following him up to Half-blood Hill, I could hear the abysmal singing of the Demeter cabin and the melodious harmony of the Athena cabin competing for sound dominance. I took a small breath and turned my back towards them, pullibg myself into the van with the hundred-eyed man as he revved the engine, I sank back into the chair.

I'd really like to have friends, if I was being selfish.

Unfortunately, you don't get all things in life.

--Linebreak--

I expected Olympus to be a grand city built on the foundations of greatness, I expected it to be shimmering gold and filled with happy dancing people.

I didn't expect to be stuck in a grimy subway queuing for a bagel.

Argus had left me with clear instructions, get some food with the small measly allowance he gave me, get the 600th floor keycard from the receptionist in the Empire State Building, head to the left of the transport system and then take the second left... Or was it right? Door towards Westover.

I had my weapons, my shield that Chiron gave to me when I first joined was in the inventory, my sword-proper sword, that is,- which came from Theo when he got a new sword. It's name was Anaklusmos, I dubbed it it's English name, Riptide. It was stored away safely as I thought that it'd be easily lost. Theo had looked at me, offended, when I said he probably would have lost it too many times to count and he sagged, confessing that he had lost it several times but the weapon was charmed to reappear in his pocket.

My other weapon was a long spear which had just been idling in my inventory as I never really had an oppurtunity to learn how to use it. It was just floating in whatever dimension my storage created awkwardly.

My only god-granted weapon was a trident, Theo had said that his father had crafted one when he was told of how I couldn't protect his mother because I wasn't strong enough, the son of Poseidon's bluntness didn't help either, and I will deny to this day that I was not crying over that fact.

And thus, my so-called future ace in the hole was constricted to one trident. It wasn't as awesome as Chiron described it, summoning ethereal forms of the godly weapons that retained some of their original powers, but let me use all of them at once for a short burst of power.

For the record, I had tried to use that power. All that happened was a ghostly shimmer of the trident I had nicknamed Bob before it shattered into ghostly white crystals. Theo had laughed, clapped me on the shoulder and said that more practice was needed as he ate blueberry flavored crisps.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by the kindly old woman serving bagels, she looked at my bag and orange Camp T-shirt and frowned. I mentally slapped myself, of course I looked like a runaway in the night, I flushed in embarrassment at the questioning glances passerbys shot at me as they walked by. The familiar itch that came whenever I was the center of attention started again, my face was growing red again. This always happened whenever I thought I was being mocked or pitied upon. And one glance at the old woman told me enough, I probably looked like a kid with fireants or some kind of problem as I attempted to itch the embarrassment and humiliation away.

"My dear, are you alrig-" I bolted from the line, eyes glued to the ground as I bashed into other people walking towards trains or different stalls. The brightly colored yellow lights indicated where I needed to go, after passing underneath the large fancy stone archway, I leaned next to a wall and breathed. There wasn't anything or anyone here, so I slumped against the wall onto my backside, I could feel the rough stone pillar scratching my bag and imagined it screaming in pain, telling me to stop. Those kind of strange thoughts tended to calm me down. I took a moment to relax before starting to think about what had happened.

Oh gods. I am hopeless.

"Excuse me, my dear?" I jumped, the old woman from the bagel stand was there, holding a pack of bagels that steamed inside the bag; I couldn't help but swallow a large lump in my throat. "You just upped and dissapeared before you could collect your bagels" she smiled kindly as she offered them to me. I stretched my hand out tentatively, wordlessly. Feeling the weight of the bagels and the slight warmth in them, the feeling of warmth spread through my body until I felt safe, comfortable despite the cold evening air. I turned to face the woman intending to state my thanks, after all, she reminded me of hope; something I had all but given up on. And yet, she was gone with the wind, not even the slightest indication that she had ever been there apart from the dusty imprints of her sandals in the dust.

Wait, sandals? Who would wear sandals when winter was right along the doorstep?

I turned to the crowd that was proceeding down the stairs towards the subway and tried to locate the woman, but she had dissapeared, probably back to her stand for business. I shrugged at nothing in particular and looked at the bag, after all, I'd best not annoy her during her business hours.

There was a small print on the flap of the bag, lifting it up; I read it out loud to no-one in particular.

"When all seems lost, come by the hearth... huh" I frowned, was this a business motto? I would have investigated it further had I not smelled the bagels themselves, they smelled of my mother's home cooking, and after taking a bite I was surprised at the warmth that followed after taking a bite, like wrapping your ice-cold hands around a hot mug of chocolate after a long day of snowball fights with friends. They let me relish the warmth, and the previous dark thoughts of loneliness and abandon seemed to drift away as I finished the bagels. Staring at the empty bag rather mournfully, I stored the empty bag and it's crunbs in the backpack which I had received from Argus earlier on.

Come by the hearth... That was a good motto when describing the feeling I had.

And yet, the happy feeling came to a ground halt when I arrived at the Empire State Building. Everything looked professional, high-quality and attractive.

Except for the receptionist.

There sat one of the most apathetic beings in the universe when it came to godly matters, he had taken one look at my orange shirt and groaned slightly before burying his head into a book of... was that names? I had mentioned Westover and the man had lazily given me a keycard, telling him to insert it into the elevator and go to Olympus.

Yet again, expectations of Olympus started rising again as I excitedly inserted the keycard into the slot. Dionysus had said that Argus were to accompany me, but the hundred eyed man was nowhere to be seen, maybe I could have a quick look around?

Yeah, well, the elevator had seemed to be dramatic at first, with its chrome plated doors and red velvet interior, but after a couple of awkward encounters with businessmen on the 20th floor? The elevator lost a bit of it's lustre. I sat myself back down as the lift passed the 100th floor, 500 to go. It didn't seem that bad, all I had to do was keep myself from being bored.

But at the 300th floor, oh boy, that was a time I never wanted to go through again.

The music started.

I hadn't heard it at first, too busy droning out businessmen talking into their phones and quite pointedly asking me to leave because of the filth I brought in and yada yada.

I'd trade the music for businessmen anyday.

Covering my ears at the awful sound saying "Apollo's gr-r-reatest and most aw-w-wesome collection!" I happened to notice a small indent on the ground in a rather familiar scrawl as I buried my head in my knees.

HELP. MUSIC. Yeah, I could recognize Theo's handwriting alright. He had been to Olympus before, stood before the grand council when announcing his deeds. Something I could hope to do one day, if they decreed it so, and if I did anything worth paying attention to. Ignoring the now constant feeling of uselessness, I allowed myself a short bout of laughter as I read the neat scribbling right next to the text.

HE'S RIGHT. DON'T BE HERE. Huh, I didn't know Annabeth had a sense of humor, she must've been in a good mood when riding the elevator.

I had apparently offended whatever spirit that inhabited the elevator, because as I reached the 600th floor, it let out a small ding, opened the door, and the floor literally catapulted me out. As I let out a small indignant "Hey!" At the sudden bright light and impact, the doors slammed closed almost moodily and zipped back down towards the mortal world.

"Ahh... Hermes' famous old elevator trick" A dreamy voice made me turn. There stood a brown haired woman, her eyes were closed and she wore a silky white chiton with golden vines decorating the sides, her eyes were a light vibrant green and as she sighed in her dreamlike state, a small green flower bloomed on the cloud next to her.

Cloud? I looked down in shock. Cloud! I was standing on cloud! Well, kneeling to be exact, but cloud nevertheless! And the temples in the distance on the high groun-cloud! Those were dazzling white temples that shone golden in the evening sun's light! I could barely contain my excitement as I looked around wildly. The woman frowned, as if she didn't expect to be ignored.

"Is this really Olympus?" I asked nobody in particular. The woman seemed to hum in agreement when a bird flew down from a tree that had seemingly sprouted out of nowhere. Wait, where had the bird come from?

"Yes it is child, but I must ask, why are you here if this is your first time seeing this place?" My attention returned to the woman who seemed to engage in small talk with the bird as I tried to rearrange my thoughts.

"Uh... the system" I mumbled dumbly, she stopped her conversation as the bird turned to wood and dissolved into fine woodchippings. I watched as she the proceeded to shrink the tree down until it was a tiny sapling and produce a handful of soil and a pot before storing the sapling inside it. She turned with a kind smile on her face as she stroked the small leaves before handing it to me. I of course, took it without question, mostly because I was in awe of the display of power this woman had.

"Yes... my niece may be one with nature but being the goddess of agriculture does have it's benefit, no? And I even get to cultivate my own cereal..." She sighed contentedly and plucked a small packet of cereal and a wooden spoon to munch on them as she gazed at me. Probably thinking Who the hades is this loser? I'm trying to eat cereal

"Try not to use my brother's name in a curse, he gets moody when people do that, and I don't think you're a loser child. Here, have some cereal" she produced an identical packet of cereal and spoon before proceeding to dump them in my free hand.

"Demeter" she raised an eyebrow "You're Demeter" my voice was questioning, she let out a small dreamy smile before gliding on the clouds.

"Yes my child, you must be under the soil if you don't recognise me straight away" she smiled at her little pun. "Come, walk with me to your... system" she gestured for me to follow her. Not knowing what to really do, and the stares some river and wood nymhs were giving me kind of spurred me on to follow the almighty goddess of agriculture.

"So what brings you here, child?"

"Percy" I answered automatically, probably not the best thing to do when interrupting goddess of absolute power. "My name is Perseus, but call me Percy. I'm 14 years old ma'am, I'm a teenager, I don't qualify as a child" I quoted my mother on my 13th birthday "Can't get any discounts at water parks anymore"

She let out a small hum as she waved her hand, small grapevines started growing on the side of the pathway of cloud. A few nymphs clapped politely and thanked her before starting to trim the plants.

"Very well Perseus, what do you wish to do here?" I had finally gotten used to the whole Olympus holy god thing, and I answered as honestly as I could to the goddess.

"I'm to Westover by sundown, Lord Dionysus sends thy person to rehabilitation" I had finally remembered what my mother had taught me, all gods seemed to like me using old English as some had trouble fitting in with the whole 'Modern American' theme.

Demeter regarded me critically. "That was quite the change in language Perseus" she quipped as an apple tree sprouted by my feet.

"Thine words arf praise to one unworthy of such"

"You do realise that the amount of gods who prefer old English are rather small." Her eyes sparkled in humor.

"Wait. What?" My old English revision had been worth something, right?

"Hmm... It is a nice change of pace, to see other demigods so respectful after that son of Poseidon, such bluntness and disrespect..." I stiffled a grin when the mention of my friend was brought up. Pushing my boundaries because I was the Percy Jackson everyone knows and loves. I continued with my old-English act.

"How did he fare? T'was it not long whenfore you grew from thee roots into thy moden cultivation?" She frowned slightly, as if she hadn't heard such language in a long time.

"I believe we did move from Greece quite a few decades ago. But that seems so short compared to an immortals life, doesn't it?" She smiled beforehand humoring me. "Why, thou manners are of such as a sly-tonged kite. Thine soul is pleased with the blood of mortal kindness" I grinned, she was fast becoming my favorite goddess by far. Well, apart from the fact that she was the only goddess I knew. Still awesome anyway. The journey was short, apparently Dionysis hadn't been kidding when he said that it was right next to Olympus. Several black doors were positioned in a large corridor which seemed to be an entrance to a cave... In cloud. Huh. I could make out shapes of people moving in and out as they went on with their business.

"I am afraid this is where we part, young Perseus" Demeter sighed, her sleepy-like features seemed to awake as she took the plant from my hands. "Moonlace, a beautiful flower which wilts in the sun, but blooms in the beautiful night. One of my niece's favorite flowers"

"Niece? Oh... right... Artemis" I realized, her mouth tugged into that of a smile as I remembered an Olympian.

"Take the door you were told to take, it will transport you to the location where you will stay for a week." How did she know I was looking for the transport system? And that I was staying for a week? My mind burned with questions about the immortals but as I opened my mouth to speak, Demeter placed a finger on my forehead and murmured "Shh, your thoughts must be controlled, else other unwelcome eyes will see them" She meant Kronos, and she knew all the insecurities that I held and yet she did not pity me or stare at me freakishly. Goddesses were indeed benevelont.

"Go, young one, and perhaps we will meet again" I turned numbly and faced the door to the right, yep... The third door to the right.

"Um... Bye Demeter? See you later?" I couldn't help but keep the question stuck in my throat. I wanted to know more, more about the immortals and their powers. More about the powers. The powers.

She smiled sadly, one of pity, yet I didn't feel humiliated or ashamed... Like, she was pitying a part of me, a part of me that I hated myself. "In time child, we will meet again. Though on what terms, I do not know." I didn't get that, were we going to fight or something? "Though your mind is to be corrupted, then perhaps we will see each other again on better terms" Okay. She had me lost with the whole mind-reading thing and this? I gave up trying to understand.

"Very well Lady Demeter, I take my leave" I bowed in respect before turning the knob of the door, feeling warm winds blow gently across my face, I stepped through.

"Such an innocent mind, yet strangled with thoughts unsuitable for one of his age" Demeter sighed as I walked through. "And through the second door he goes, to a rehabilitation he doesn't require"

Wait. Second door?

The third door to the right clicked shut.

And I found myself staring at what seemed to be fifty silver bows aimed at my face. Dark trees swayed slightly in the wind and a small bonfire in the middle of several silver tents danced in the night.

"Uh... I come in peace?" I held out my uneaten bag of cereal and the complementary wooden spoon I had received from Demeter as a peace offering. The bag was shot out of my hands faster than I could blink. I let out a small eep and fell onto my backside.

That was when what probably seemed like the most beautiful girl on the entire planet stared at me like I was some kind of insignificiant bug that had crawled onto her foot.

"Permission to kill, milady?"

Boom? Boom. I'm back and kicking ass, well, that's what I think I am. New story. Had a plot form while I was completely immersed in fanfics from one of my favorite authors and Final Fantasy 15.If you're reading this, it's either because you've stuck with my unupdating ass for 3 goddamn years or stumbled across this. Nevertheless, flames are welcome, salt is needed for my soup of ideas and positivity makes me shine like the sun. Go ahead, my friends, go ahead.Also, if you didn't notice, I'm giving our beloved son of Poseidon a completely new father and powers which were heavily borrowed upon from Noctis, late 14th King of Lucis. So... You know what to expect and expect a whole lot of sass cause the stage is set. And Percy Jackson is kicking ass and taking names.

This is how the weakest become the strongest. Not born with power, nor is it talent. But the will to move on empowers us.

May seem humorous at first but that's for a reason. shit's gonna go off the deep end soon, if you pardon my language

I will probably be here to stay. And just in case that the specific author who's works I absolutely love actually reads this... Then. Review? Hate? I'm a terrible writer