"FIELD TEST!"

With these words, the young boy named Lincoln Loud and his best friend Clyde rushed out of the former's bedroom, down the stairs, and into the backyard of the Loud House. As they noticed, Lynn was also there, practicing her pitching skills on the wall of the garage. But she only gave the boys a quick glance to see who had entered the yard, before turning her attention back to the baseball in her hand.

"So, how do you suggest we test if I have any mutant powers?" Lincoln asked. "Because, to be honest, I haven't seen Ron the Radioactive Boy in a long time, and it's one of the lesser movies in my collection. I do seem to recall he had super strength, but we tested that one already".

Clyde nodded, remembering the incident from earlier that day when Lincoln tried in vain to lift a huge pile of random objects, including a fridge, above his head. While he was thinking, his eye spotted something at the foot of the tree.

"I know how!" he shouted while he ran towards the tree and picked up the object that had caught his attention; a large rock. "Ron can emit radioactive waves from his body that turn solid matter liquid. Especially metal and rock. So, give it a try Radioactive Boy!".

Lincoln snatched the rock from Clyde's hand and firmly grabbed it with both hands. "Alright then. Let's turn this thing into clay!". With these words, he pressed his hands against the surface of the rock as hard as he could.

For almost 2 minutes, Clyde watched his friend squeeze the rock, to the point that his knuckles turned as white as his hair. Drops of sweat began to form on Lincolns forehead and his face turned red while he kept muttering "come on you stupid thing, liquify". Still, it was of no use, and eventually, Lincoln dropped the rock and sighed. "Sorry Clyde, it doesn't work. What else is there?".

Clyde had to think hard. Ron didn't have that many powers, but there was one more he could recall. "Well… he could also summon a forcefield to protect himself against enemy gunfire. But I hope you don't want me to shoot at you".

"Of course not" Lincoln said. "But we can use something less dangerous. Hey Lynn!".

Lynn, who was about to throw the baseball at the garage again, stopped and turned around. "I'm practicing here Lincoln! I have to perfect my throw for the game next weekend!". Lincoln could tell she was annoyed at being interrupted.

"I know. But a garage is hardly the same as a human opponent right? So, why don't you throw the ball at me?"

Lynn raised her eyebrows. Lincoln wanted to help her practice? "Are you sure? You don't even have a bat or a glove!".

"I know what I'm doing Lynn. Just throw the ball!" Lincoln shouted back. Lynn shrugged and readied herself while Lincoln began to focus on, hopefully, summoning his force field. Clyde wisely decided to take a few steps back.

"Last chance to change your mind Lincoln. Here it comes!" Lynn shouted as she threw the ball with all the strength. Lincoln didn't even try to dodge or catch it. He stood his ground, his eyes focused on the ball, and his mind entirely focused on summoning the force field….. until the ball collided with his head and everything went black.

When Lincoln opened his eyes again, he was in the kitchen. Clyde, seeing his friend had regaind consciousness, handed him an ice pack for the large bump on his head. Lincoln groaned; his head felt like it was stuck in bank screw.

After five minutes of silence, he finally said "Guess I don't have radioactive mutant powers huh".

Clyde sighed. "No."

"Where's Lynn?" Lincoln asked.

"Still in the backyard, practicing. She did help me carry you inside though. And she asked me to remind you that this was your own idea". Clyde took a look at the clock. "My dads expect me home in 30 minutes. Any other theories you want to test before then?".

"Test what?" The boys turned around and saw Lola had entered the kitchen to get herself some juice.

"Oh, hey Lola. Clyde and I were just wondering why I have white hair" Lincoln said.

Lola put down her glass. "You've had white hair for as long as I remember, and now you suddenly want to know?"

Lincoln nodded. "Aren't you or any of our sisters curious as to why I'm the only one in our family with white hair?" he asked.

"Well, we do think of it sometimes. And not just us" Lola said. "Some girls in my class were talking about you just the other day in fact. They thought your hair has turned white from the stress of having to deal with so many sisters…. In particular me". She almost hissed those last words. Lola never liked people talking trash about her behind her back. Lincoln had a feeling those girls were going to regret their words very soon, if they didn't already.

"Sounds plausible thought" Clyde said. "So….field test?".

Lincoln shook his head. "No need to Clyde. I've had white hair since I was an infant, long before Lola was born or before I had so many sisters. So that theory doesn't hold ground".

"Maybe you're sick".

Lincoln, Clyde and Lola all jumped and let out a small shriek. No matter how many times she had already snuck up on them, Lucy still managed to scare everyone with her uncanny ability to appear seemingly out of nowhere.

Lincoln had to wait a few seconds for his heart to calm down. "Sick? What do you mean Lucy? I feel fine… well, except for that splitting headache Lynn just gave me".

"Just like I say brother. Your white hair could be a symptom of some yet undiagnosed illness, incubating inside your body waiting to someday strike" Lucy spoke in her usual monotone voice. Lincoln could feel her eyes staring at him from behind her bangs. And the longer she looked at him like that, the more nervous Lincoln started to become. Sure, he couldn't be carrying some unknown illness with him, right?...or could it?...No…..or maybe?

Without saying another word, Lincoln grabbed Clyde's wrist and dragged his friend out of the kitchen and towards his room, leaving Lucy and a very surprised Lola behind. Once in his room, Lincoln sat down behind his laptop and began to google for diseases that had premature white hair as one of their symptoms, while Clyde sat down on the bed.

"Lincoln, I don't think this is a good idea" Clyde said as he noticed his friend got a more and more worried look on his face. "My dads warned me against internet self diagnosis, since even the most harmless complaints can suddenly look lethal if you select the wrong website. I bet that even googling 'I stubbed my toe' will result in at least one site telling you your foot has to be amputated".

Lincoln however was too caught up in what he saw on his laptop to even consider Clyde's words. Albinism, waardenburg syndrome, vitiligo, brain tumors… they were just a few of the diseases that could cause premature white hair, and the list kept going, with each new disease being nastier than the last one.

"Just look at this Clyde". Lincoln began to breathe faster, getting close to hyperventilation. "Lucy could be right….I …. I could already be dying and not know it".

That was Clyde's cue to interfere. He took the paper bag he always carried with him out of his pocket and handed it to Lincoln, instructing him to take a few breaths with the bag placed over his mouth. He also shut down the laptop.

"Calm down buddy. I'm pretty sure nothing's wrong with you" he said while gently made Lincoln get up from his chair and sit down on the bed. At that moment, the door opened and Lisa entered the room. Without knocking, as usual.

"Indeed, I can confirm the what your friend here just said my male sibling" she spoke while adjusting her glasses a little.

Lincoln handed the paper bag back to Clyde, his breathing back under control again. "Lisa? What are you doing here?"

"As it so happens, I noticed on my security camera that you were using your acces to the world wide web in a failed attempt to see if you had some unknown illness incubating in your body. Well, no reason to worry male sibling. I have done quite my share of tests on you and our other siblings over the past four years. Both with and without your knowledge. And I can say, without a doubt, that you are as healthy as a male Homo Sapiens of your age can be."

Lincoln sighed in relief. "Thanks Lisa…. Wait, did you say security camera. Is there a camera in my room?"

"Ehm….no" Lisa said while trying her best to look innocent. Before Lincoln could push the matter any further, she hastily retreated from the room. Lincoln made a mental note to himself to thoroughly search his room, before he and Clyde likewise made their way downstairs, where they were greeted by Lily, who was trying to climb the stairs. Lincoln quickly bent down and picked her up.

"Now now Lily, you know better than to try that yourself" he said. "Want to say goodbye to Clyde before he goes home?".

Lily just giggled as Clyde rubbed her hair. "Goodbye Lily. And see you tomorrow Lincoln. Sorry I couldn't help you find out yet why you have white hair".

Lincoln was about to open the door for his friend, when Lily began to struggle in his arms, freeing her own arm so she could point at something.

"Lily, what is it?" Lincoln asked.

"Poo-Poo!" Lily squeeled while pointing to something on the other side of the room. When Lincoln and Clyde looked, they saw she was pointing at a picture of the Loud's maternal grandfather, Albert, a.k.a. Pop-Pop.

"Pop-Pop? Lily, I know he has white hair too, but he's and old man so it's natural for him. Sure that can't be it" Lincoln said.

"Actually Lincoln, your sister is right". Rita, who had heard the 3 kids in the hallway, now came out of the kitchen and took Lily from Lincolns arms. "Come, I want to show you something".

Not entirely sure what his mom meant, Lincoln and Clyde followed her to the Loud parents bedroom. There, Rita put Lily down, opened her closet and took out an old photo album.

"It's not without a reason my dad always calls you his lookalike Lincoln" she said while opening the book. "Take a look at this".

Lincoln took the book from his mother so both he and Clyde could take a look. What they saw was an old black and white photograph of a young boy, about 9 years old, standing next to a man in his early fourties. And despite the lack of color, it was clear both the boy and the man had white hair.

"Is that…" Lincoln began.

Rita nodded "That boy is Pop-Pop. His white hair is not a result of him getting older. He's had it his whole life, just like you. That man standing next to him is his uncle Randolph, who, as you can see, also had white hair".

Rita took the book back and flipped to another page. This one contained a large photograph taken at a family reunion.

"White hair runs in my side of the family in fact. But it only affects the men. Probably something genetic, but I'm not Lisa so don't ask me to explain".

Lincoln and Clyde both gasped at the sight of the family photo. Besides Pop-Pop and his uncle Randolph, they counted 7 other men and boys with white hair.

"You see sweetie, there is nothing unusual about you. In fact, your white hair only further proves you really are my son. It's just that you happen to be the only boy in this house. Had some of your sisters been brothers instead, there is a very real chance they would have had white hair too". Rita said as she ran her hand through Lincolns hair.

Lincoln just smiled and handed the book back to Rita, who closed it and put it back in the closed. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier mom?" he asked.

"Well, you never asked" Rita said. "Now let's go to the kitchen. Dinner is ready".

"And I really have to go home before my dads call the cops again to report me missing" Clyde said. Lincoln walked with him to the front door. Just before he stepped outside, Clyde realized something. "Lincoln, have you thought about what you're going to say in your report tomorrow? If you don't give a report, you get an F"

"Don't worry Clyde. I got a plan" Lincoln assured him.

The following day

"Well Lincoln, ready to tell the class about the day you were born" Mrs. Johnson asked.

Lincoln nodded and stood up from his chair, the paper with his story in his hand. As he walked to the front of the classroom, Clyde gave him a thumbs up. Lincoln tried to remain calm, but inside he was nervous. Pretty much every kid who had to give a report in front of his whole class would be nervous of course, but for Lincoln it was worse. He could only hope they would accept his story in the version he was about to present it and not ask too many questions.

"The day that I was born, started fairly normal" he began, trying to ignore the gazes of his classmates and teacher, and focus solely on the paper. "My mom's water broke, so she and dad called our grandfather, Pop-Pop, to watch my older sisters while my dad drove mom tot he hospital in our car Vanzilla. Sadly, she lived up to her reputation again and broke down, leaving my parents stranded on the side of the road. My dad desperately tried to get someone to stop and help, but nobody did and it seemed like I was going to be born right there, in the car. But then, fortunately, a car stopped. And not any car but a limo."

Lincoln paused for a second. So far he had told the story exactly like his parents told it to him. Now came the point where he had to start excluding information, or else his family could get in serious trouble.

"There were a man and woman inside, both dressed formally. Probably a millionaire or a business tycoon and his wife. Anyway, they offered my parents a ride to the hospital. But along the way, it became clear they wouldn't make it in time since I was, as my mother put it, very impatient".

This made some of his classmates chuckle, but Lincoln ignored them.

"So, the owner of the limo decided to deliver me himself. Or at least, he tried. However, he passed out, and so did my dad. His wife had to take over. I was born in the limo. Since there was no point in going to the hospital now, the limo brought my parents' home instead where Pop-Pop and my sisters were waiting for them. After Mom and dad got out of the limo with me, it drove off".

So far so good, but now came the biggest lie of all, and Lincoln prayed he sounded convincing enough not to arouse suspicion.

"My mom and dad never found out who this rich man and his wife were. In the commotion they had forgotten to ask for their names, and they never saw or heard from them again. And that is the story of the day I was born".

Lincoln lowered his paper and waited for someone, anyone to call him out on his story. To accuse him that he DID now who the owner of the limo was and demanding to know the truth. But fortunately, nobody did.

"Thank you Lincoln. I must say your story sounds a bit farfetched, but then again so are many stories about your family. I'll give you a B. You can go back to your seat"

As he walked back to his seat, he could hear Clyde whispering "Well done Lincoln" to him. Lincoln simply nodded and sat down, a burden taken off his shoulders. More than one burden in fact. He had completed his report without breaking the oat his family had taken… and knew without a doubt that he really was a Loud.

The End.

A/N: This story was previously published on the Loud House wiki under my account name there: Sentai Rider Fan.