A/N:

It's late, I know. But it is here.

Also, I realised that the story is drawing to its finale, and consequently its end. So, to all who continued to read it, and made me realise my passion for writing. Thank you.

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I would really appreciate that.

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Chapter 27: The Lag.

Something was pattering all around me. This much, I knew. Laying on the covers the elves had brought for us to rest in this central talan for the night, I shifted to the side. Through my disoriented perception, I could make out a pair of feet. It took power, the likes of which I didn't feel like sparing to make out the two hairy feet hesitating a few feet before me. The next thing I felt was the same darkness taking over as I fell back into the much-needed sleep. At the back of my mind, I perhaps heard a squeak, a voice closely resembling that of Sam, but my mind was too foggy to give it much thought and my body felt like cotton soaked in river for too long, heavy and aching in the muscles I never thought would.

It was much later, I found out through Sam, that I finally decided to wake up for the day. I couldn't even blame myself. With the toll that only the past week had taken on my mind, I felt that I could sleep away many days like this. Lying idle and bored was something I craved these days.

We had met the Lord and Lady of light the previous night, another encounter that had set my mind reeling with aftershocks. Although later that night, when all of the fellowship was busy getting ready for sleep, it was made known that the lady had talked to everyone, in their mind. For some, she gave them a choice. For some, it was motivation, it was advice, they said and I had stayed rooted in my spot, quiet and thoughtful because I did not know what her words, spoken to me, meant.

I was waiting for a rebuke, I had realized yesterday, for her to unleash her wrath on me because it was their white council and it was Lord Elrond whose foresight made sure that the fellowship left with only nine men. It was me that wasn't supposed to be there. It was my presence that had caused an imbalance, and with the certainty that this world depended a tad too much on prophecies and destinies, I couldn't help the thoughts that rose in my mind. I couldn't help that sinking feeling, the whisper at the back of my mind telling me that it was my fault. I should've never messed with the fellowship. I shouldn't have been there.

For a moment yesterday, when the lady had cast her gaze on me and had said that she waited long for me it had melted my worries. For a moment it felt as if it were not my fault and somewhere in the back of my mind I had hoped, I had stood there with bated breath as her knowledgable but kind gaze had made a connection with mine, for her to say that my views were wrong, misleading. Only a fragment of imagination. For sure she knew what was going through the minds of the fellowship right there, but she had said nothing of the sort.

"You've made a hard decision, Lanette, but it is the first of many to come."

She had said. I heard her voice, crystal and smooth, still reverberating around my ears,

"Times will come when you will show your mettle, do not lose heart over the recent loss for this was never your path to tread on."

It was not my path to tread on, she had said and I had wondered long what she meant by it. It only drew one conclusion. I was not supposed to mess up their calculations.

The string of regret the Lady's words had caused stayed with me for the whole night, and became the sensation I woke up to the next morning.

It was past noon, the talan was cleared save for my figure at the corner and Sam peeking from the door. He saw me staring, my eyes wide open and alert, and his smile turned sheepish. He stepped into the room, carrying a steaming cup and something wrapped in cloth.

"Your breakfast was cold Lady Lanette." he started as he sat before me placing the eatables between us on the small cloth he had brought, "I asked them to heat it but the lunch will be in an hour so I thought that you'll prefer a light tea and scone when you wake up."

He peeked up, a look that was short and hesitant and brought a gratified smile to my face.

"Thank you, Sam."

He waved his hands in front of him, looking around as if wondering why no one else was here. I realized that this was perhaps the only time we had been in such close vicinity alone.

"No, No my lady. " Then he stopped, chewed on his lip, wondering something and then looked up with an eye that bespoke concern, "You did not wake up so I thought that perhaps we did not heed your troubles the past few days."

It was my turn to be surprised and him, perhaps seeing my baffled face, continued, "Are your injuries okay? Was there no poison? Why are you feeling so lethargic?"

There was a moment of silence. His words had been hurried and loud, their echo still resounding in the talan. He seemed to realize that he was eager and when I didn't give a reply he shrunk upon himself, his eyes dropping to his entwined fingers.

His gaze snapped up at my chuckle. With a will to hold in my laughter, and another to not gush at his childlike enthusiasm, I settled for a simple smile, but I was sure that my face looked quite goofy,

"No Sam, it's just that it's been a long time since we had the certainty of protection so I just caught up on my sleep." I shrugged. When it didn't seem to sate him, I continued, "I'm surprised you all didn't."

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "I wanted to but I couldn't miss the first breakfast. The lady also said that we can have the second and third too but you woke up later than all of that." There was a little shake in his voice when he spoke like that, a faraway look passing through his dark orbs for a moment. Something reminiscent of the past. A yearning perhaps.

His expression was quite serious for the situation.

I felt something rise in my chest. Sitting here after a long, comfortable, a protected sleep, with my body aching but recovering, with warm breakfast in front of me and a good old company. It was a joy that I felt at that moment.

I wondered if this was the effect of the elves, this melting away of worries just by breathing into their environment. It was curious how the things that I had accepted before as a given, back at my home; the normal things like a light conversation that was not filled with the worries of life and death, or having a person willing to check up on me, having some people around me that cared whether I was okay, whether I ate good and well caused such mirth, this giddy feeling that melted away my worries.

In that little moment, while I was not alone to wallow in my pity, did I realise why these people strived on connections, why being around someone could be so gratifying. But most specifically how one's own thoughts could lead to one's demise.

With the turmoil of emotions that had been the past few weeks, scratch that, that had been my whole stay in middle earth, something in me just had wanted to sit in alone talan and cry to my heart's content. It had been like that for a while. This increasing sense of hopelessness, of not belonging. Of wanting to break away.

My gaze dropped to the food. I tried to collect my thoughts, as to not worry them more than they all already did.

"You are alright, right my lady?" It was his voice that snapped me to attention again. There was something fragile that lined his tone, the way his Adam's apple bobbled at his words, and there was a sparkle in his eyes that could only mean melancholy. It was then that I realized how much he truly absorbed, how perceptive, and how open he was to everyone's misery. So much so that he, himself felt miserable now. I stared at him for a long moment, and then a smile, true and thankful, took its place, "Your concern is endearing Sam."

He broke out from his reverie with a blush that rose to the tips of his ears. I continued, in a voice that was perhaps kinder, more understanding than before,

"Yes, Yes I'm quite alright." Except for my mental health that was surely in tatters by now. Although, he didn't need to know that much. He didn't deserve to have that worry on his shoulders too.

The blue dome zoomed in and of my vision. I blinked a few times, trying to focus my vision, not wanting to fall asleep when I promised the hobbits to enjoy this so-called second breakfast with them. After all, it hadn't been long since I had woken up.

I drew up my legs after a particularly gruesome spasm rocked my lower abdomen. This menstruation had been horrendous, and during my stay in middle earth, with a good environment and good nourishment, it was quite a surprise.

I missed pads a lot more that I perhaps even did my phone these days. It was the stress of the past month, I had decided, that had caused my hormones to wander all over the place and also was causing this never-ending drowsiness. It was a little disconcerting, how I never seemed to find an intermediate these days. Either I was running through caves on high alert with the threat of a hundred goblins behind me and the awareness of every single fidget around, or I was lying down here and then there because apparently walking all the way from the talan to this clearing was too much work for me to handle.

I must've dozed off at some point because the kick delivered to my side left me scampering to my feet and the sudden movement caused a sudden blur that knocked me onto the fours. I groaned out loud, rubbing a hand across my eyes, and finally, with sudden rage, snapped up at the intruder,

"Oh What!"

My gaze was met with an elleth. A beautiful one, although at that moment I was too annoyed to care. A frown made its way onto my face and I rose to my feet, fixing her with a glare. She gazed around, once as if ignoring me, and at my growl looked back with a glare on her face that felt out of place for her species.

"You shouldn't be here," she said. Her voice, quite in contrast to her sullen expression, was calm, a tone that felt more inquisitive than anything. Her eyes roamed over the trees again, as if searching for something and I looked back into the wild, wondering if I really shouldn't have come after all.

"I'm sorry," I said, finally meeting her eye, "I didn't mean to intrude."

She looked at me, her head coked to the side. A gaze that wondered if I was just stupid. A flush rose to my cheeks, and I narrowed my eyes in defiance.

"It speaks of a training clearing, how can you mistake it."

I looked around again. A sweeping gaze that took in the tall mallrow trees rising to the skyline and the grass that felt greener than ever. There was no indication for it to be anything but a plain area, clean and clear of everything, "I don't quite see it."

"Of course you don't." she scoffed.

I bristled at her tone. What was the problem, most importantly? What was this elleth?

"What's that even supposed to mean?" I snapped. My temper flaring at her airy tone.

"You are the lady of the company, right?" she started, giving me a once over. Her blue gazez filtering slowly across my form came to rest on my face again, "I wouldn't expect a woman as you to know the finer art of battle."

I seethed, closing my eyes, and inhaled sharply.

"A. Woman. As me" I started, not even trying to clear my tone of the annoyance. She looked at me in affirmation. As if everything was blatantly clear.

"Hey, you're," I snapped, taking a step forward, "you're being exceptionally rude."

I don't know if it was the sudden movement of mine or the jaw that stuck out in bravado or even perhaps the glare along with my rising voice, but her hand curled around the hilt of her sword.

Her demeanour tensed, ready to pounce on a second's notice and that, to say the least, stopped my movements,

"So you say that you can hold your might against an elven warrior."

My eyes trailed towards her lean arm, visible under the upturned sleeves and I took a step back. How did things get to this, I wasn't even sure.

"Holding one's might and being naive are two exact extremes."

A smirk curled on her lips, her eyes flickering to my foot that had retreated.

"Well, you are backing off."

It did stop me in my way. I took a step forwards, foolish perhaps.

"I'm not backing off." I snapped at her. She seemed amused, and I was not so much. I waited for a second and then picking up the leather bottle I've brought with me, prepared to leave. I turned to give her a look, "Well, this is crazy. I've never seen an elleth act like you in the years I've known the community." I have her another once over, my gaze irked and angry, "You're crazy."

"Well, that is much coming from a woman, travelling alone in the company of eight men." she snapped, halting me successfully. I returned towards her, rage clouding common sense, but she continued, "Tell me, my lady, who became your," she paused, it felt as if only for dramatic effect, "strong knight during this plight, or perhaps all of them did."

I didn't miss the innuendo in her words, or the way her gaze flickered towards my body.

I wanted to rant away, perhaps kick her on the shin or something and it took patience, the likes of which perhaps I had shown in my house job back home, for me to inhale a huge breath to calm my temper.

"No one did. I'm not an invalid who needs people to pamper me at all costs." I said finally, my teeth gritted in an attempt to not snap. It came as a surprise, the little smile, a real smile that flickered on her lips for a moment. It felt like I had passed a test, although I wasn't sure what the heck was even going on.

Her face went back to being passive, "Your bravado is interesting."

Yeah well, whatever girl. I fumed inside. She threw a long knife, sheathed, towards my feet, "Pick up this blade and I'll see what the great human lady is made of."

I hesitated a moment. Picking up the blade against an elf was crazy, it always has been and always will be. And also my gash still throbbed here and there. Even when I could see the humiliation coming from miles away I still picked up the blade. An act of defiance, or insanity most likely.

"Fine."

I knew how this was going to play out but it still took me by surprise.

Grasping the hilt of the long knife, I rushed towards her, swinging the weapon as soon as I got into her periphery. There was a sharp tang of metal, as the two swords met. She twisted to her side, and with another swing, the knife was falling from my bruised hands and a kick to the shin and another to the back had me kneeling in front of her. "Oh" was the only sound that came from her, and it was lined with a surprise that caused blood to rush up to my head.

I gritted my jaw and staring up at her challenged her again.

"No oh. Once. More."

This was even easier, there was not even a clang of metal. Just a twist to the side and the hilt came barging on my wrist.

By that moment I was not even thinking of our current situation. There was anger, which I did not even know where it came from. An agitation that boiled my blood.

I picked up the knife again.

"Once more." She complied, but there was a hesitation that lined her moves.

Voices rang around my head. Faces, scenarios, an army of orcs rising above the pit of fire, the eerie gloom of moria.

I ducked away, barely passing by her attack. Griping the sword, until my knuckles turned white under pressure, I rushed at her again.

The voice of Gandalf loud and demanding rand around my ears.

"Are you strong enough to carry yourself, alone, in the face of such danger to Rohan. Are you trustworthy enough to be allowed for such an ordeal?"

No. I gulped. No, I'm not that strong, Gandalf. I lied, I truly lied to you all.

I ducked to the left. Her attack had a force that caused the knife to wobble in my hands. I saw her coming towards me and could do nothing but rush forwards myself.

"Fate plays itself in thin lines, vanishing and reappearing in the minute notice of a second."

He had said. But what fate Gandalf. What was it that I was supposed to do?

"Nine of the company..." Lord Elrond's voice, filtering with the wind. I saw those nine backs vanishing across the horizon. I was not supposed to be there. I was never supposed to get entangled with them.

My sword clanged against the ground. I stared at it heaving.

"Only nine will walk." I had been the tenth. I was the one who messed it all up. It was a huge mistake.

I picked up the sword again, glaring at the person in front of me, "Once more." Had I been paying attention I would've seen the anger flickering in her gaze.

"Fly you fools." his voice booming in the depths of moria. His figure vanishing under the darkness. The army of orcs, the screeches. The pale face of Aragorn, his desperation, his melancholy. Their disbelief. Their loss. Their grief. The tears that pooled Frodo's gaze. The helplessness that struck Sam's. The face of Legolas when he heard the lament. His strained voice when he said he couldn't share.

The long knife flew from my hands, hitting the bark of mallrow.

I fell onto my back, my arm finding it's way on top of my eyes to block the tears that streamed down to the ground.

It was all my fault.

There was quiet in the clearing. Stifling, and bated as if they all were waiting to hear my wails.

I heard something drop to the ground.

"Listen, lady, I'm not the instrument for you to take out your rage on." the elleth said a moment later, breaking me out of my reverie. I hoped for a second that she hadn't seen the tears fall. Pushing to my side, away from her sight I pulled my arm away from my eyes, rubbing them on the shirt and stood up, still with my back to her.

"I have to say I'm disappointed. I expected not much but a little better from you." she continued, her voice collected and calm as if she hadn't seen me having a mental breakdown a moment ago. I picked up the sword from its place and moved forward to hand it to her. She seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"Well, I haven't had centuries of practice." I snapped at her.

"Playing the sore loser are we?" she said. There was a chuckle. "I'm not talking about the practice. You've been rushing into the swings blindly, trusting only brute force, as if all the techniques have been wiped from your mind." she was talking as if I didn't know, which perhaps she thought I didn't. Who the heck would even train a human woman, only a crazy person that is, in their time and age.

"Let me tell you, Lady, that going for your brute strength is not an option for you. I'm sure that anyone who taught you considered the fact, or they're fooling themselves." Filvendor's face came to my mind, and then Elladan's. And then quite unexpectedly, Eohere's strict voice as he corrected my posture in the freezing heights of the Misty mountains. The snowflakes curling on his lashes, him slapping them away, and my laughter at how soft he looked at that moment. It had been the first time I had made fun of him. Our relationship hadn't been like that, we've both been partners in an adventure, staying together yet away because we both had the stuff to keep us busy. Because, perhaps, I was supposed to go back to my world.

"There won't always be people around to protect you." he had said that day. Now I wished that I never had the fellowship near me to protect me.

"It's not that I was not taught," I told her, my voice strained. How much I missed that time when the worst that could happen was me not finding the way. When everything was way simple than it was these days. "It's just that." I continued, and then looking at her mundane expression, I sighed, "forget it."

I was picking up the bottle, preparing to leave for real now when her voice stopped me in my tracks. There was an intensity lining her question that caused me to tense, "Gandalf the Grey did not enter this realm."

I looked back at her, at her gaze that was serious and knowledgeable, and I realised one thing. She knew about the fellowship. Just who was this elleth?

"It doesn't even matter. It has nothing to do with you. I'll leave you to your space." I told her, wanting to be alone. She said nothing when I trudged past her, but there was a softness in her gaze. Something familiar that I didn't want to place.

Liswen stared at me. I glared back, resolute in my words. She sighed a moment later and after rolling her eyes finally left, cautioning me to stay where I was.

I leaned back against the tree. The tensed muscles of my back relaxed and I massaged the arms that were throbbing after another gruesome practice.

I don't know how it had happened, or what had even happened but I found myself walking back to the clearing only to spar with the sassy elleth I met a week ago.

Perhaps it was because I wanted to be a little away from the fellowship, I wanted to plan out what I was supposed to do in the future, what I should do in the future, and it mostly focused on me being alone. I didn't want their company to become my safe place, I hadn't intended to but even in those few days, I had learnt to depend on them much more than I cared to admit. I needed a game plan, I needed to stop clinging to these nets of safety everywhere I went and for once to do something, something that I had at least promised to do. That's why I found myself lying in the same clearing a day later, heaving and battered (because I hadn't planned on this spar) and still very much out of ideas.

Do I leave for Rohan from here? Do I accompany the fellowship and see where it gets me. Or do I ask the Lord and Lady for help and just leech off of them right here. I must admit the last one sounded every bit tantalizing.

I wondered where my, self-made 21st-century self had run off to. Perhaps I was just tired of all this bullshit. Perhaps, the safety cocoon that I had taken for granted back home was something I craved once again. But what I knew was that throwing my life away on a spur of a decision was not something I wanted to do.

In this world all my decisions had been the cause of overthinking and when I couldn't handle it anymore I did the first thing that came to mind. It was wrong, I had already taken more than I could handle. I wasn't going to make another very stupid decision, not after this letter that has been heaving on my mind. Everytime a momentous decision had came as a cause of suppressed feelings and adventurous soul, but no more. I didn't want to chew off more than I could handle, not when I was already choking on the last mistake.

I was kicking the soil, dismantling the grass when I heard someone behind me. Turning around, abruptly with my foot still an inch away from kicking again, I was greeted by the Lord of Lothlorien, his expression decisively hard to decipher.

There was a moment of silence, with me placing my foot down, sheepishly, and him gazing around the clearing as if searching for someone. I hadn't had the chance to meet the Lord or Lady alone in the past week, neither have I had any reason to. Now with him standing right there and Liswen not anywhere in sight, things were taking a turn for the awkward.

He eyed the fallen weapons for a second before turning towards me. His eyes were disconcerting, a mix between wispy silver and blue that lent it an ethereal quality. He gestured to the left, "You must forgive her more... Fierce antics." It took me a moment to realise that he was gesturing towards Liswen. I shook my head, my eyes following his gaze into the woods,

"No I don't exactly mind, she's been a great help."

"It's my first time seeing her approach someone to befriend, herself that is."

I raised a brow, waiting for him to continue,

"She's one of those few elves that yearn for the world beyond the protection of the elves." That didn't seem strange to me. I was more surprised by the fact that they lived for aeons yet somehow still managed to stay passive, holed up in their homes for eternity. Lord Celeborn continued, his gaze raking over my surprised expression, "For human civilisations, for a world that evolves continually."

There was a moment of silence, and I realised that he was waiting for my response. I gestured around me, a vague gesture into the woods, feeling at a loss of words,

"It is not," I started finally, "It's not great out there, right now." He nodded, I sighed, turning to him to give him my whole attention.

"My Lord, I'm sure you're not here for small talk."

A smile touched his face, a little crinkle of mirth and it was gone before the second blink,

"No talk is small when it is with our guests." he said, nodding to me, "Especially when guests are from another realm."

Even though I was sure that they knew, with Gandalf mentioning them quite a few times, I was still taken by surprise. He could tell I knew, with his gaze that took in my rigid stance and raised eyebrows. He raised a hand, perhaps in passivity, I wasn't sure,

"I find it, curious." he started. Somehow I found that little hesitation of his disturbing,

"You think I'm a liar." I snapped, cutting his tirade.

"Not a liar," he seemed taken aback at the abruptness, "no, You do not give the Lady much credit."

I wanted to ask what he meant by that. Did the lady truly see beyond our consciousness? Could she see my life back home? But he continued before the words made it past.

"Your circumstances were curious, the decision of Lord Elrond and Gandalf about you even more so."

"Nothing comes of it now though." I sighed, twisting the tip of my toe into the grass. He raised his brow, in question and I sighed,

"Gandalf did not make it," For a second I stopped, hoping that he would connect the dots, then continued, "the letter carrying his tidings would disrupt things more I'm afraid."

His brow was furrowed when I looked back, a thoughtful expression touching his elegant features.

"I have a little insight into the letter, there is no instance in which Gandalf promises his arrival."

"Even if he doesn't, knowing that the forces are so strong and that we've lost a huge help, will turn them off," I replied.

He stalled for a moment, looking over my shoulder. His gaze found mine again, seemingly searching for something, and I tore mine away. Something was disconcerting about the elves and their eyes, something that seemed powerful and ancient, something a bit too out of grasp.

I shuffled forwards, to where my stuff lay scattered on the grass.

"They don't need to know of Gandalf's demise," he said finally. My hand paused on way to pick up the weapons. I turned around abruptly, fixing him with astonishment,

"You'll have me work with deceit."

"Not deceit," he corrected, a hand raised, "but with skill."

"A skill to deceive," I replied again, my voice taking a harsher tone.

"If it ends with Rohan and Gondor helping one another, yes indeed."

I wanted to say heaps about how this was a very bad idea but a thought stopped me. I chewed on my lip for a second,

"You want me to walk the road, alone."

"That was your intention when you started, no?" I hesitated at the question, my gaze falling onto the ground. How to tell him that all my intentions were a piece of crap, words of someone waiting to boast.

"Can't you send a trusted elf of yours? Won't it be easier." My question sounded meek, also a bit too pleading for comfort. I trailed off at the end waiting for him to speak.

"The only reason you've been tasked with this, despite all the odds against you, is on the whim that you'll be able to convince their Lord, whomever he may be without drawing attention to yourself."

I snorted at that, perhaps not a great idea but it did seem laughable to me now, the whole scenario.

"A woman arriving alone to meet him would not draw attention, in this day and age."

He nodded at that,

"Less than an elf, yes, if executed properly."

"We're not even aware of how much Saruman holds over them," I said. In the back of my mind, I realised that I was stalling the conversation, that everything I said now would not help but will be considered the babbling of a terrified woman. Something that will make them all say that they told me that I couldn't do it. I regretted the moment that the promise had left my mouth, months ago.

"Sending an elf will be folly in itself." Lord Celeborn started, carefully pacing his words, "From what we've been made aware of that ranger,"

"Lord Eohere." I interrupted. He paused, giving me a long look, "Lord Eohere was not aware of your association with the elves." Of course he wasn't. For all, he cared the crazy lady was back in his world, or back in a mental institution, where she belonged. Clamping my mouth shut I motioned for him to continue,

"If the situation is not well if you find that you cannot trust him with the information, let it be the union of friends."

I stated at him, he stared back. I narrowed my eyes, stopping the urge to laugh, manically that is,

"He's many things my lord, but an idiot is not one of them."

"Yet you still trust him you said, so did Gandalf," he said. The way he said it made me feel like a question was posed. I nodded before I realised it.

"You don't know him?" I asked finally,

"I know a little of his ancestors, not of the man." he said, "The abode of Lothlorien has not been open to the mortal men for decades now."

"Aragorn?" I raised my brow.

"He's a trusted friend." Lord replied he paused a second, his eyes glinting in remembrance, "His veins still carry the blood of our ancestors."

I nodded. This made a lot more sense why Aragorn was so coveted.

I let the silence stretch for another long moment. Finally, fixing the Lord with the most serious look I could muster, I said,

"What will you advise?"

"Ride to Rohan, my Lady," he replied, "The heavens have been with you till now, may the fate still favour you."

A look passed between us, a silent promise that I will continue with it all. That for once I will make sure that the one promise I made will be completed, or at least I will make all efforts to do so.

"What do you think should be the way?" I asked.

He smiled led me out of the clearing. "Let us not dwell on these worries now,"

I gave him a dirty look. After making me remember all the problems from A to Z, how could he be so passive. Perhaps he didn't see my expression, "These days are for your well being. We shall discuss this later on. For now, your friends are waiting for you."

The next week passed in a flurry. Someplace between our worries and this surprising normality that had settled over our routines.

Monday, dinner had been a rowdy affair. A pleasant evening after a long time, full of laughter and gimmicks and in those little moments, while sitting around the fire, slurping on the stew, I realised that this quest had formed a bond between us all, a bond which even if the few days of being with each other had strengthened beyond belief. Something in which laying down one's life for the other wouldn't be something so surprising.

Frodo quite unexpectedly was relating the tale of his first viewing of elves, his eyes glazed over with memories and a small smile prevalent on his lips. I was sitting against the mallrow to the side, nodding to them occasionally showing that I was listening, but content to lean back and enjoy the soft breeze sifting through the clearing. There was something whimsical about the night, with the sky so deep into the shade of the trees that it was invisible and the smoke filtering through the logs and rising to the prevailing darkness. The fire crinkled, a calm sound against the chatter of the hobbits, that lulled the mind to sleep.

Lost in the moment I didn't notice until the mug was thrust in front of my face. I passed a smile towards Aragorn and shifted to accommodate him beside me.

"My Lady" he nodded with a smile.

"Thank you, Aragorn."

Things were quiet for a moment. I was content to listen to Frodo, especially when he was getting to the saucy part. But I felt curiosity burning at the tip of my tongue and took a small sip of the warm tea. From my periphery, I made out his relaxed features.

"So what's the plan." I found myself asking a moment later. His curious gaze shifted for a moment, to take in my expression, then he leaned against the bark, his elbow lazily rested on one drew knee.

"There is no plan, yet."

I smirked at the frown in his brow,

"Being this pessimistic doesn't suit you." I started and then paused, twisting around to take in his face. I drew in my brows,

"No, wait-" his gaze was surprised. I raised my hands making a frame for his solemn face, "it does perfectly."

He chuckled, shaking his head, as if laughing at the absurdity and I leaned back on my arms, grinning like a fool.

"I haven't seen you around much." this query was quieter, as if not waiting for an answer. As if he already knew it all. I let the silence reign for a moment. He said nothing, staring ahead. It wasn't that he could guess, I was sure that he was pretty certain of my worries.

"I have three meals with all of you," I started, shifting my posture so that I was sitting cross-legged, no longer facing the hobbit but turned towards him, "every day," I rolled my eyes at his scepticism, "I know about Pippin's farfetched crusade by heart, I even know how Boromir got lost and found his way back. Even your loss of Aethelias, oh don't look at me like that, you made it quite obvious," I paused dramatically, drawing in a long breath, and then raised a brow at him "Would you not say that I'm here a tad too much."

He rolled his eyes, a very new look on him, and I was entirely sure he pulled it off. That solemn expression was soon back in place,

"It's because you have listened to our worries." it was said in a manner of praise. I was beginning to smile when he continued with a smirk, "You made Sam cry."

Spluttering on the tea, and bristling when it burned the tip of my tongue, I passed him a glare,

"What? No!" I started, wiping away the trail on my hand. Pausing for a second, with the wheels churning in my brain I slumped back, "Well... if you say it like that it does sound true." I murmured. I turned to him to solidify my point, "I didn't know that home-baked cookies and croissant will cause him to bawl." His expression was of increasing humour and I continued my trade huffing, but barely keeping in my laughter, "And you know what croissants are from France and they should not be here with your very English cuisine."

For a moment he turned thoughtful as if he would ask me to elaborate but then his expression cleared staring back towards the Hobbits.

"Everyone is on an edge, It's no one's fault. You pacified him later on, which was gratifying."

I gave him a small nod,

"Your worries are very valid."

"Yours aren't?" he asked, a touch of surprise lining his tone.

I sighed, leaning on my drawn knees,

"I don't know Aragorn. I'm afraid I don't know at all."

With the silence that stretched, I knew he wanted me to speak, but I didn't know what I wanted to say,

"I think," I started, staring into the bristle of the flame, "I shouldn't go with you guys, anymore, and to be honest it scares the crap out of me."

Another sigh,

"You guys are planing on evading the part I must enter. I thought that perhaps walking a bit to the west and then to the North-East should be it. It's where my journey should end."

I waited for an answer from him. For a moment I thought that I was sharing this with him because he would know. If there was someone that would know what to do, it would probably be him. Somewhere along the line, I along with the fellowship had started depending on him for insight.

"It would be good," he said, causing my head to snap towards him. I didn't expect him to agree. He was staring ahead, a hand stroking the fine hair of his chin as if his brain was churning to formulate a plan. In that little instance, I felt my shoulders relaxing, "We can take out the map, and see which road can lead you down with the least troubles."

In that little instance, I apprehended the biggest mistake I had made and was still making. In the days that I had been here, I had continually depended on people, and in the back of my mind, I had associated that with weakness. But now, sitting here I realised that the thought was nothing but pure foolishness. It was a world, where I was thrust in without any goods, without any knowledge, any relations, and to make a living in this unknown environment, to strive and live in this world, depending on its people for their knowledge was necessary. There was nothing shameful in asking someone for something you didn't know. Learning was never shameful, it never will be.

For a moment, I discerned that my worst mistake has been me putting myself down every turn of the way. It was inevitable that I double-tracked my steps, this all was new to me, but it was not necessary, was so very wrong for me to beat myself up for how things were going.

Especially when I had people around me that were willing to help, especially when I was doing all I can and not just depending on everyone for everything.

I was doing just fine, I thought, I wasn't crumbling as I thought. I was strong and capable, and I was doing just fine.

What a crappy moment to realise something so sentimental, I thought, chocking on the ball of emotions lodged at my throat.

I must've been staring at him, with the little layer of wetness that spread on my eyes, and it must've been this for him to stare back astonished.

I blinked owlishly, giving him a strained smile.

"A road," I murmured, pushing myself up. My movements were a little jerky, of a person that was anxious and haggard, "yes," I pushed my hair behind my ear, staring down at him, and clutching onto the mug, my fingers strained, "I was- No, I'll go and," giving him another look before I turned around, "do that."

"Lady-" he started. I didn't know what happened but I turned back again cutting him off,

"Lane," I said, ignoring his expression. Taking a calming breath, I smiled, "just call me Lane," You all deserve that much at least, I thought, "The Lady doesn't sound right, here in Lothlorien."

Things were quiet for a moment. Finally, he gave a smile, a true one, not like the smirks that curled on his lips, but something that was warm and kind.

"Lanette," he said. "Do you need any help?" I ignored the swell in my chest (I had made good friends, mom, really good friends),

"Yes," I found myself answering before I thought it through. Why not, "yes Aragorn, I would appreciate it."

He got up, walking towards the clearing and filling up his mug with booze. I raised a brow when he returned, and he shrugged as If to say when else he would get a chance.

We had walked halfway to the base adjoining the tallans allotted to us when he spoke,

"What is this France that the croissants belonged to?"

I thought a moment, "Oh that," I didn't know what to say, "it's a long... story."

"I'm afraid we have a lot of time."

I rolled my eyes at his smirk, all the booze was loosening his head,

"You're on it then, boss."

"On what."

I turned around to see Lord Boromir leaving his talan. He had his sword grasped in his hand, in the other there was a polishing stone. Aragorn took the lead, "Lanette," I saw his astonishment at my name, and barely kept in my smirk, "was going to explain her world, and a few its mysteries."

His eyes turned towards me, imploring

"Mind if I join too."

"Of course, come along," I replied, opening the door towards the largest Tallan, "Although, I'm afraid, he's exaggerating."

Aragorn had a map on hand, and stretching it out on the large mallron table, he motioned us over. I put a hand on Boromir's arm, stopping him in his way,

"Also Lord Boromir, I insist you call me Lane," then with a shrug, "or Lanette, whatever you prefer."

I had been in Gondor for a while. I was aware of their customs. It was rude to call a woman by her name unless you were her family, but Aragorn had and so it was perhaps best to ask him too. He gave a nod,

"It goes both ways," there was a lag in his speech as if for a moment he had trailed off, "Lane."

It was my turn to be a bit dazed. No one here had ever really called me by my nickname, no matter how many times I tried. It had been a long time since I had heard it from someone else. The last time had been— No, I thought. I was not going to go there again. The past was better left untouched.

My hand dropped on its own accord.

"I'll keep it in mind," I replied, my smile was pleasant, or so I hoped.

"Now would you mind bringing me that brush, It's right over there," I asked, shuffling inside my backpack, walking over to Aragorn and taking out the map Filvendor had gifted me.

I was going over the routes he had explained when the brush was placed in front of me. I looked at him, giving a grateful smile.

"Thanks," There was a moment of uncertainty. Perhaps because with him, unlike Aragorn, when I had first met him I was a maid in the household that held him in high esteem. When he was a Lord, when he was acting as the captain of his people, "Boromir."

This marked as the end to the little hostility that existed between us both, or it marked as the start of us getting closer in the truest sense possible. Whatever the case was, I felt better than I had before in their presence. Safer, if it was even possible.

I didn't need to look up to see the smile exchanged between the two.

The few days passed in thinking over the course of action. The fellowship were now almost certainly going for the boats to carry then across Anduin enroute to Sen Gebir. I was surprised when I saw the map, at the proximity of that location with the border of Mordor and how close they all had gotten to the finale of their journey. There was always a prayer after that, a silent plea that left my heart for it all to be alright. For them all to reach and return safely. I could only wish, that's what was sadder, only wish while they plummeted the way to their demolition.

As for me, Aragorn had pointed out a bridge in limlight, but through Anduin, I had to swim myself. He had pointed to a calm part of the river, below the Fangorn and leading to the West Fold through which the journey to Edoras was supposed to be easier. Fangorn was teetering with darkness, but these were the ones different from orcs. If I were to chose between that and an orc, I sure you know what it'll be, Aragorn had said.

To be honest I was sure that if it was me I would choose neither.

But the danger was prevalent, and it was everywhere so I had closed my eyes and accepted the route.

Legolas had pointed out that I could move with them to San Gebir and walk down from there rather than crossing the Rivers, but Aragorn had rejected the idea with the area being too close to Mordor.

The days leading to the departure were drawing closer, filled with a new type of apprehension that came with the arrival of a new change and a slow, painful one at that.

We spent much time together, talking sometimes about this world and that, this kingdom and the others, and everyone being separated from their homes for so long were keen to chat.

Among the days we had a conversation about the television. I didn't know how it started, perhaps when Boromir was explaining how the puppet shows and the theatre has evolved and their classic book, "Name of the Rose", a tragic tale about the Dethroned king of Andulin, was now being played with the glamour that evolved beyond imagination.

"I don't usually. It plays on a screen." had been my flippant reply to which theatre in my world I loved.

I had only looked up from slurping the (very delicious) soup to see their confused expressions waiting for elaboration.

It had started an explanation of how the camera worked, and how the people captured the things happening and then played them in a sequence to make a movie.

"So you say," Boromir started, holding up his hands as if to slow things down, "that the picture can capture any moment still, and how it is, with only the click of the Finger?"

I nodded.

"Lass you said there was no magic where you lived." Gimli interrupted Boromir.

"There isn't, it is just science."

I tried to explain as much as I could, and the fact that my knowledge wasn't that extensive I couldn't possibly explain that well.

To my gratitude the conversation soon diverged. From light to fireworks, to the dragon patterns that Gandalf formed, and then we ended on a sad note with a touch of dejection, at the fact that he was not here. And that the reality of our situation was not exactly to be envied.

I went to bed that night with a touch of mellowness eating at my chest.

With the days in Lothlorien drawing to an end, there was one conversation whose inevitability remained like a dark cloud in my mind.

Two days before our departure, I cornered Liswen in a clearing. We were training again and she made a point about having ulterior motives. I just snapped.

I placed the sword, Agnaria, on the ground, gulping down the water and turning around to look down where she lay sprawled on the ground.

"Because you have an ulterior motive doesn't mean that everyone does"

She knew what I was pointing to. We both knew. Thus rather than stalling me like she always did she stared back. For once I could see her formulating a response,

"It can hardly be counted as an ulterior motive." she started, her tone was turning flippant, "Not when you take enough from me."

I couldn't help the roll of my eyes,

"I could've trained with anyone from the fellowship."

"You didn't," she left a pause that hung in the air. An assumption. I narrowed my eyes.

"Because it would be rude to you"

"You would hardly care that much," she said, scoffing.

"It's just the nicer thing to do."

I sighed then, looking at the tensed arch of her spine. I held out a hand, perhaps in peace.

"I'm not mad."

"You don't have a right to be." she snapped, rising to her feet and glaring down at me.

Just how was everyone so taller than me here.

"It's just that you could've asked me."

"Asked you what?" she snapped. Her voice was rising, a certain tremor was taking her form, "Plead you to take me to the world as some damsel struck in distress."

"Why is that embarrassing?"

She gave me a look that spoke volumes. There was anger hidden there, desperation, a wanderlust that I had seen before. In my reflection. In the faded mirror placed on the Inn at Bree, or the decorated one on the mantle of Eohere's home. I had seen that desire to leave so many times before, but now I didn't understand why she was like this. She was an elf, she had centuries of life, would probably live a millennium more, then why?

Her voice shook when she next spoke, her hands were balled at her sides.

"I've seen more centuries than you can even perceive. I have lived tens of the lives that you have, and even then I know nothing of the world, of my world. Even you do so, in such a short time." She inhaled sharply, and then her voice dropped an octave, a trodden expression on her face, "It's embarrassing,"

I said nothing for a moment, and her searching gaze, so full of emotions and so unlike the controlled orbs of the others of her species had left me a little speechless. Her eyes turned away. "You won't know"

I felt as if I had to say something. There was a tangible heaviness in the air that I wasn't comfortable with.

"But if they've never let you go out, how come they would if I ask," I said, paused, and when she didn't reply continued,

"and it is not even out of the forest, you're supposed to leave me on the edge of it."

Her eyes dropped a little at the last sentence but she said nothing.

"They will, they made a promise." I nodded, shrugging. It was their problem, if she really wanted to go, she didn't have to ask me. Even though iIwould've appreciated honesty.

To be honest it all depended on whom Lord Celebron sent. I looked up at the sky. With the darkness creeping into the clearing I realised that I had to leave.

I was halfway across when her voice caused me to turn. There was something fragile about her tone, some sparkle in her eye that with her softened features looked a tad too much like hope,

"Even though it is not the adventure that I crave, it must be the first step towards it."

My eyes searched her face, a frown marred my brow,

"You truly believe that they'll let you go if you struck with me"

Her face broke out into a grin. A toothy smile that left me astonished. I turned around, trying to hide my own smile that threatened to break out.

"Whatever." I said, waving a hand, "It's on you if they disagree."

Something about her look made me realise that they wouldn't.

They didn't. The moment was tense nonetheless, and there were looks exchanged between the Lord and Lady that made me uncomfortable. I gave them a small smile, a sheepish one at that.

Haldir was angry, I could tell by the twitch of his brow, and the way his shoulders tensed as if ready to pounce on his prey. But there was a certain defiance in the gaze of Liswen, that I held my tongue and said nothing, except for that it would be helpful if she came, only till the edge of the forest.

I made an enemy out of Haldir that day, I was sure of it.

I left them to their devices doon after. There were shouts involved, but it had nothing to do with me so I relented and joined the hobbits on their evening tea.

The day of the departure dawned bright. Quite a contrast to all the anxiousness we all felt. There wasn't much talk over breakfast, that we had with the Lord and the Lady and after that, they wished to say farewell to their guests with gifts. I stood to the side, beneath the mallrow and saw as the lady stood in front of them, offering them her graces.

In the quietude of Lothlorien, with the lady smiling at us, for a moment it felt as if the war trodden areas of the Middle Earth were something out of imagination, and that the calm that spread over our minds was the real truth of our life.

I broke our of my reverie when she turned to me. She gave a smile, gracious and kind, and I couldn't help the shyness that caused my head to dip.

"Lady Lanette, you've travelled far and wide to reach here," this time she was actually speaking, "I'm afraid that you must travel even farther."

She extended her hand to the side, and the elleth beside her put a small box in her palm. She extended it towards me, a smile prevalent on her face,

"In the world that you know nothing of, perhaps this token will guide you towards your fate."

It was a sphere, something much like the old watches that we had back home. It was metal, bronze and gold, an intricate design that etched over its surface.

"It was of your predecessor," she elaborated, "Before things went downhill, this compass was touched with the magic of the fae. It points towards what you truly desire the most, at that moment."

I was speechless, something so precious, could I really have this.

"Can I actually?" I trailed off, my hand hesitating over the token.

She gave a little laugh, something breathless and precious, "In a way, it is yours."

I saw the fellowship looking at me, meeting eyes with Aragorn and at the small nod he gave me, I picked it up.

It was a piece of our artwork, like the watches you saw in historical fiction, like the watch my grandfather once showed me. The one I once played with, the one that smelled so dearly of home. It was something out of my world after such a long time, I felt choked. Wetness lined my eyes.

Opening it, I gave her a questioning look.

"Isn't this..." I turned it around, then showed her the dial, "isn't it broken perhaps?"

It was pointing up, towards the sky. For a moment I thought that it was pointing towards my death. A menacing trickle went through my spine.

Her brow furrowed and for a fraction, she looked lost in thought.

"I've seen it pointing up, centuries ago," she started, extending her hand and I placed it in her palm, "It means that your desire still rests with your home, your world. In this world, the compass cannot truly point towards the home you crave."

What was the use then, I thought if it was only going to point towards the things we miss the most, and my whole life, I'll be missing my family the most?

"No, in the last ten years of his life, Eleanor made use of this. For those years of his life gradually, but surely it stopped pointing upwards altogether."

I knew what she wanted to tell me. It sounded as a far off notion. But the way her eyes implored into mine, it felt as if she saw that I will settle here. I wondered what extent she truly knew.

My hands hesitated over the dial. It was a huge knowledge to have in your life. To know what you truly desired. In life how many times will it be that I will have to turn my back on my heart, even when knowing my desire, just because I couldn't reach forward and grab it?

You could not even live in denial.

I gave a smile, strained and perplexed to her, my fingers closing over the token.

But perhaps, at least for this year, I would take the chance to know what was to come.

To be continued...

A/N: Liswen = (Honey maiden).