We all know I don't own Final Fantasy 7. Not even in my dreams.

Genesis plays The Sims

Ever since Genesis had bought that new PC game, he had been holed up in his room, coming out only for meals and work. Normally, Angeal would not have paid it much heed, except that, once in a while, quiet, but surely maniacal laughter would be heard coming from the Red Commander's room. That concerned Angeal. Maniacal laughter was never good as it often indicated the brewing of sinister plots – and any plots of Genesis were… difficult to manage (in other words, bad for Angeal's blood pressure).

It was on the eight day of Genesis's self-inflicted isolation, and upon hearing a devilish snicker emitting from under the auburn's closed door, Angeal decided that he would investigate. After all, it couldn't hurt to find out what he was laughing about, right?

A little cautious, Angeal walked up to Genesis's room and lightly knocked on the door. His only answer was more sinister giggling.

Although he was unsure if this was an invitation to enter the room, Angeal hazarded in anyway.

He found Genesis sitting at his desk with his eyes glued to his computer screen. The room was neat – as always, and well-lit by an overly flamboyant lamp – something that didn't match Angeal's image of sinister plotting. Maybe the scenario wasn't as bad as he'd presumed.

Still, he was wary as he walked up to his friend.

Genesis, on the other hand, was entirely absorbed by his task and had not noticed Angeal walk in. He clicked with his mouse and selected an option causing another cackle to escape his lips. It was only when Angeal was standing behind him did he finally note the other's presence.

"Oh, hey Angeal." He said in greeting, finally tearing his eyes away from the computer screen and gluing them, instead, on his roommate.

"Genesis" Angeal replied evenly. Then "What have you been doing?"

As an answer, Genesis moved aside slightly and let his friend view the computer screen. On it were a host of people – Sims, Angeal realised – moving about.

"You're playing… the Sims…" He said, suddenly surprised at the lack of evil plans he had expected. He did not understand how The Sims had solicited so much amusement for Genesis – enough amusement to make Angeal wonder whether his friend was plotting something nefarious.

"Yes, I have." Genesis smirked and then offered: "Do you want to meet my Sims?"

Still doubtful, Angeal nodded.

"Excellent, then look here…"

Genesis moved the cursor around to follow a sim sitting in the library and reading. To Angeal's mild surprise, the sim in question had auburn hair, glowing mako eyes and a long red coat. To finish the look, it even had a red rapier by its side.

"Genesis, is that you?" Angeal questioned, although really, it was too obvious.

"Of course that's me" He replied, smiling smugly. The screen followed the sim as it stood up and put away the book it had been reading (a book which looked suspiciously like Loveless when Genesis had hovered the cursor over it), walked out of the library and began sauntering down the footpath.

The sim walked until it arrived at a mansion – something Genesis must have designed himself, because it was too grand to have been pre-made – and entered, where it met –

"Is that Miranda from reception?" Angeal asked incredulously as a very Miranda-like sim – though for some reason this one was much bustier – greeted the sim-Genesis as it walked into the foyer of the mansion.

Yes, it is" the real Genesis confirmed, also watching as the sim-Miranda struck up conversation with his sim doppelganger.

"Why is she in your game?" Angeal was a little disturbed that she (who he most certainly did not have a crush on) was in Genesis's game.

Genesis didn't answer as the screen admitted a third sim, who walked into the foyer.

Angeal groaned. The new, dark haired sim wore a sleeveless jumper and baggy pants and – Angeal had to briefly cover his eyes – had a large broadsword stuck to its back.

"Is that…me?" He asked.

Genesis only nodded letting a sense of doom form in Angeal's gut.

Angeal watched in fascinated horror as "his" sim walked up to sim-Miranda. It chatted with her causing the sim-Genesis to wander off with an offended face displayed in a thought bubble above its head. Now it was just sim-Miranda and sim-Angeal.

And they began to get very comfortable with each other. Which made the real Angeal very uncomfortable.

Genesis grinned and turned to Angeal who in turn looked away, red blossoming in his ears.

"I figured that if you couldn't ask her out in real life, you could at least be happy in the sim world" He offered as his unwelcome explanation.

Angeal was mortified. "W-why would I want to ask her out a-anyway" Angeal stuttered. Genesis only smirked in reply.

"Anyway…" Genesis appeared to become bored with the developments between sim-Angeal and sim-Miranda because he moved the cursor to find his own sim again.

And he did find him, sitting in a grand chair – more like a throne – in a lavishly decorated room.

"And this is my room" Genesis explained unnecessarily. It was rich. Alongside the chair-throne, the room was filled with rugs and paintings and a few large bookshelves as well as several sofas, a flat screen TV and a very large four poster bed.

"Isn't it great! The actual game didn't have such a nice house so I had to build it myself…" Genesis rambled off.

"Uh… yeah." Angeal agreed, being at a loss as to what to say. Then he got an idea "What about my room?"

He should not have asked. Genesis looked vaguely uncomfortable for a moment, but proceeded to move the cursor around the mansion anyway until he came to a stop in another room.

Although it was equally big, this room was nowhere near as lustrous as the room which had been afforded for sim-Genesis. Sim-Angeal's room was, instead, filled with many, many plants, and a single bed in the very centre of it all.

His ears reddened further as Angeal noticed that sim-Miranda was lying in that very bed.

"Oh yeah, and Miranda's officially your wife" Genesis unnecessarily clarified "We even had a wedding and I was the best man."

"Right… but why do I have so many plants in my sim's room?" Angeal tried to change the subject.

"Because you like to talk to plants" Was Genesis's obvious reply "plus, look at this." He went into edit mode and moved a large portion of plants out of the room to reveal the floor. It was plain red carpet with several tiles embedded into it to spell the word – "'honor'" Genesis read "See, your room totally suits you."

"Alright… Let's move on…" Angeal was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the game Genesis was playing out.

Genesis edited the plants back into the room and went back to live mode. He then moved the cursor around again, but before he could refocus on sim-Genesis, Angeal caught sight of another sim.

"Wait, who is that – is that Lazard?"

Genesis paused in his scrolling to show a sim who had just entered the mansion and had begun cleaning it. It had started with the dishes and was now moving on to cleaning the showers.

"Yep." Genesis said with a satisfied look.

"Lazard is your maid?" Angeal was surprised and wondered how the Director of SOLDIER would react if he knew that he was a sim-maid in sim-Genesis's house.

"Oh yeah," Genesis giggled (giggled!), "and you should also see the babysitter"

"The babysitter? Wait, there's a baby?" Angeal exclaimed in disbelief. Somehow, he was beginning to regret the loss of an evil plot.

"Yeah, yeah! There's a baby too! Oh, you'll love this!" Angeal doubted very much if he would "love" whatever Genesis had created.

While Angeal worried over what Genesis had in store, the man in question invited over a sim with a few clicks and began to move around the mansion again. He paused at another room. This room was definitely a child's room. It had the usual cot as well as various toys littered on the floor. In it sat a toddler with a shock of black spikes, wielding a mini sword. Angeal's mouth dropped.

"Yes, it's Zack, before you ask." Genesis said. "I originally had a puppy named Zack, but then it died and you and Miranda had a baby…"

Angeal froze in horror. The redness that had affected his ears now spread to the rest of his face. Could it get worse?

Clearly it could. The sound of the bell indicated that there was a visitor, and when sim-Lazard (disrupted from mopping the floor) answered, a very life-like sim-Reno swaggered in. Angeal wasn't even aware that Sims could swagger, but this one did.

It said something to sim-Lazard, which immediately caused two red minus symbols to appear above the head of each conversing sim.

"Yeah, I made Reno clumsy, a couch potato, a coward, evil, disliking children, and unlucky." Genesis rattled off as sim-Reno walked to sim-Zack's room. "I was also going to do childish, grumpy, inappropriate, insane, over-emotional, and a bunch of other things, but there weren't enough trait slots…"

Angeal tuned out as Genesis listed a few more ill-sounding traits in favour of watching sim-Reno arrive in sim-Zack's room and instantly steal candy from the toddler.

"Oh, and Reno hates Zack and always ends up stealing his candy" Genesis needlessly commentated.

Angeal was in too much shock to reply. By the time he had recovered, sim-Angeal had kicked sim-Reno out of the mansion and sim-Genesis had thrown a party.

As Angeal watched the guests arrive, he couldn't help but feel terrified awe at the amount of detail Genesis had put into the game.

There was sim-Rufus, who got into a fight with sim-Lazard. And the sim-President who was apparently a flirt and had flirted with several sims including sim-Miranda, causing sim-Angeal to slap him up.

Then there were the sim-Turks: Sim-Tseng and sim-Cissnei cooing over sim-Zack and sim-Rude standing silently in a room all by itself. Sim-Reno had reappeared and had becoming dangerously drunk (Angeal wondered how that was even possible in a Sims game).

Finally, one last guest turned up to sim-Genesis's party. It walked in with hip length silver hair, a massive katana, a black, flowing robe, and a curvy, big busted figure –

"You made Sephiroth a woman?!" Angeal cried as the attractive moodlet appeared among multiple Sims.

"Yep!" Genesis laughed "And it's hilarious!"

Angeal couldn't even reply. He turned heel and walked straight out the door.

Yes, Genesis had been holed up in his room laughing quietly, but evilly and now Angeal knew why.

Goddess, he was never going to get that image of toddler sim-Zack out of his head, he was never going to un-see the maid sim-Lazard and he was never, ever going to get over the female sim-Sephiroth.

Although, he reasoned, the game wasn't so bad if his sim-self was married to sim-Miranda.

Hiya! Long time, no see.

Welp, see you!