A/N: Work sucks, that's all I can say. I'm at wits end here trying to figure out what the hell these questions are even asking, let alone how to answer them. So, I wrote a short little story inspired by fanfics and their descriptions. Particularly eyes. Particularly Zoro's eyes. Each of the colors mentioned have been described for Zoro in at least one fic and I don't dislike any color in particular (though grey is a personal favorite...that may or may not be the reason behind having Sanji suggest that color.) Also the science stuff Chopper mentioned is real, just a paraphrasing of Wikipedia. So yeah. Without anyone asking for one, here's a Zoro oneshot.

The food supply was restocked, the Log Pose was set, and with minimal collateral damage to the small village after their fight with a rival pirate crew, the Mugiwara crew was ready to set sail back to the open sea. Only to find they were down one member…

"Excuse me, sir?" Nami asked to the nearest street vendor.

The elderly gentlemen came out from behind his wagon of fresh vegetables to approach Nami. He greeted her with a small nod and a congenial smile, while clasping his hands behind his slightly hunched back.

"What can I help you with, Miss?" The man asked, his voice the pinnacle of an elder amused by the actions of youth.

"We're looking for a member of our crew. Have you seen him, by any chance?" Nami asked. "He's tall, has three swords, green hair, green eyes-"

"No he doesn't, Nami!" Luffy interrupted.

"What are you talking about?" Nami retorted with a brow raised in confusion.

"Zoro doesn't have green eyes. His eyes are black. How's this guy supposed to recognize who Zoro is if you don't describe him right?" Luffy explained with a fold of his arms and his own confused expression –his being the tilt of his head to one side.

"Are you blind? His eyes are green!" Nami protested.

"No, they're black! Right Usopp?" Luffy argued, turning to said sniper at the mention of his name.

Usopp glanced at Nami's narrowed gaze and shuddered. He rubbed the back of his neck, nervous as to how he should phrase his answer. "Well…actually…I always thought his eyes were brown, like a dark brown."

Sanji exhaled, angling his head so his cigarette smoke traveled downwind, and turned back to the conversation. "What kind of sniper has such shitty eyesight? The Marimo's eyes are grey, moron."

"Grey, are you sure Cook-san?" Robin inquired. "I always thought they were gold, myself."

"What's the matter with you guys?" Luffy asked. "Where are you getting all these crazy colors?"

"Ne, Chopper. You're the doctor, so you must've examined Zoro's eyes right?" Nami asked. "What color are they?"

"Who me? Well, if I remember correctly Zoro's eyes are hazel."

"Hazel, that's like brown right?" Usopp probed, hoping to be right.

"No, idiot, it's a green." Nami argued.

"Sort of, hazel occurs from a combination of Rayleigh scattering, which is an elastic scattering of light without changing the material, and melanin concentration. That means the eye can appear to shift in color from brown or gold or green. Or the eye could be more like a spectrum, with the part closest to the pupil being a dark brown and the outer iris appearing grey or green. Sometimes it even depends on the lighting the eye is being observed under." Chopper explained.

"Ohhhh, so it's a mystery color." Luffy concluded with a confident nod.

For a few moments, silence echoed throughout the crew as they marveled over Luffy's decision, until a low cough broke through the quiet.

"Ahem, excuse me. You said you were looking for your crewmate." The old man said. "I believe he went up this street towards the town square."

"Are you sure?" Nami asked.

The old man chuckled, as if she had given a particularly humorous punchline. "Miss, there aren't many green haired young men with three swords wandering around this island."

"Right," Nami replied with a weak laugh of her own. "Thanks for the tip," she called back as led the others to the town square. Less than a minute later, the crew found the swordsman, who was lounging on a wooden bench napping underneath the noon sun.

"Oi, Zoro!" Luffy called out, launching himself towards his first mate.

"Agh! Luffy! Get off!" Zoro growled, pushing the excitable captain off his lap. He got to his feet –scratching his head and grumbling all the while- and the others stared intently, waiting for his eyes to open after a yawn.

Zoro noticed the stares and raised a brow in question. "Somethin' the matter?" He asked.

"Just trying to figure out your eye color, Swordsman-san." Robin smiled congenially.

"Yeah, what color would you say your eyes are, Zoro?" Usopp asked.

"My eyes?" Zoro repeated, rubbing his head in thought. "Dunno, never really thought about it."

"Are you serious?" Nami yelled.

Zoro shrugged. "Well, so long as I can see with them, does it really matter?"

"It does when we have to describe your appearance to townspeople in order to track your lost ass down." Sanji grumbled.

"I wasn't lost! I was looking for a sunny place to nap and I found it!" Zoro retorted.

"You said you were going to the ship to nap!" Sanji snapped back.

"I changed my mind!"

The others quietly studied the increasingly heated exchange, shifting their positons to examine Zoro's eyes from different angles. Grey. Brown. Gold. Black. Green. No matter where they looked, no single crewmember could see the same exact color twice.

And it dawned on them, as words dissolved into slashes and kicks, that for once Luffy was absolutely correct. Zoro's eyes were indeed a mystery color.