Nightfall's Curse.
Pre AOTC. Anakin is 16.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. The almighty George Lucas does! WORSHIP HIM!
Tears flow freely down my face. I am a no one. Obi-Wan and I had never shared that special bond that most Padawans and Masters did.
Anakin turned around, and buried his head in his pillow. Why did I ever leave Tatooine? Why? Ha, I could answer that, because someone loved me. Qui-Gon should have trained me. He believed in me, when Obi-Wan just called me a pathetic life form.
Well, Master's are always right. I am a pathetic life form! Good for nothing, just an annoying little brat.
Why couldn't I have been chosen? Sure, they say I am the 'Chosen One,' but I don't see how that is possible. I may be strong in the Force, but I am scared. Fear is the path to the Dark Side.
Though truthfully, the Dark Side has lived with me. From the moment I was born. My anger, it's uncontrollable! What can I do? Having to constantly use a mind-block. If Master Yoda, or any of them, read my mind when I was. well, they wouldn't be to pleased. Jedi shouldn't crave adventure. I do. I am a failure!
I wasn't cutout to be a Jedi. Qui-Gon was wrong! My Mother was wrong! Obi- Wan and the other Jedi were right all the time. I'm just too afraid; too cold.
With a sigh, I sat up, and stared out the windows. The stars were out. I wanted to be a star. Or a moon. Or even a damn Bantha! Anything but me. I am a failure. 'Chosen One,' Ha, what a joke.
Every time I walk the Temple Halls, I feel eyes upon me. All eyes of all species. Knowing, probing my mind. Watching my every move, waiting for my fall. Waiting and watching, with silent knowledge. It would have been different if Qui-Gon had been able to train me.
Sometimes I talk to him. But I don't think he hears me. Why would he want too? I am just a whiney boy. Unworthy.
Obi-Wan deserves better. He should have gotten to choose his Padawan, so he could have an apprentice he truly loved, so he could feel that special bond. He deserves that much.
That man has been through a lot, the death of his Master. and other things I just KNOW he's not telling me. Why should he? I'm not really his Padawan. I'm just his former Master's leftover, Qui-Gon's death wish.
Maybe I'm not meant to be. Maybe I should just. end my life. Obi-Wan would get his wish! He could chose his own 'son' and not have to be stuck with me. What a brilliant revelation! I got up quickly, and quietly scrambled in the darkness, until my hands fell upon my utility belt. I reached inside one of the pouches, and pulled out a bottle of pills. In another, was a notepad and pen.
I was just about to write, when the door opened.
Obi-Wan walked in! His eyes were full of tears. I shot up like an arrow, the pills and notepad falling out of my lap.
Silently, my Master walked over to me, and sat down next to me, on the edge of my bed, and held out his arms. Suddenly, my Master looked like a nice tissue. I accepted his hug, and let my tears flow. He didn't talk, just let me cry, which was just what I needed.
When we broke apart, he looked me in the eyes, and said, "I love you, son."
Pre AOTC. Anakin is 16.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. The almighty George Lucas does! WORSHIP HIM!
Tears flow freely down my face. I am a no one. Obi-Wan and I had never shared that special bond that most Padawans and Masters did.
Anakin turned around, and buried his head in his pillow. Why did I ever leave Tatooine? Why? Ha, I could answer that, because someone loved me. Qui-Gon should have trained me. He believed in me, when Obi-Wan just called me a pathetic life form.
Well, Master's are always right. I am a pathetic life form! Good for nothing, just an annoying little brat.
Why couldn't I have been chosen? Sure, they say I am the 'Chosen One,' but I don't see how that is possible. I may be strong in the Force, but I am scared. Fear is the path to the Dark Side.
Though truthfully, the Dark Side has lived with me. From the moment I was born. My anger, it's uncontrollable! What can I do? Having to constantly use a mind-block. If Master Yoda, or any of them, read my mind when I was. well, they wouldn't be to pleased. Jedi shouldn't crave adventure. I do. I am a failure!
I wasn't cutout to be a Jedi. Qui-Gon was wrong! My Mother was wrong! Obi- Wan and the other Jedi were right all the time. I'm just too afraid; too cold.
With a sigh, I sat up, and stared out the windows. The stars were out. I wanted to be a star. Or a moon. Or even a damn Bantha! Anything but me. I am a failure. 'Chosen One,' Ha, what a joke.
Every time I walk the Temple Halls, I feel eyes upon me. All eyes of all species. Knowing, probing my mind. Watching my every move, waiting for my fall. Waiting and watching, with silent knowledge. It would have been different if Qui-Gon had been able to train me.
Sometimes I talk to him. But I don't think he hears me. Why would he want too? I am just a whiney boy. Unworthy.
Obi-Wan deserves better. He should have gotten to choose his Padawan, so he could have an apprentice he truly loved, so he could feel that special bond. He deserves that much.
That man has been through a lot, the death of his Master. and other things I just KNOW he's not telling me. Why should he? I'm not really his Padawan. I'm just his former Master's leftover, Qui-Gon's death wish.
Maybe I'm not meant to be. Maybe I should just. end my life. Obi-Wan would get his wish! He could chose his own 'son' and not have to be stuck with me. What a brilliant revelation! I got up quickly, and quietly scrambled in the darkness, until my hands fell upon my utility belt. I reached inside one of the pouches, and pulled out a bottle of pills. In another, was a notepad and pen.
I was just about to write, when the door opened.
Obi-Wan walked in! His eyes were full of tears. I shot up like an arrow, the pills and notepad falling out of my lap.
Silently, my Master walked over to me, and sat down next to me, on the edge of my bed, and held out his arms. Suddenly, my Master looked like a nice tissue. I accepted his hug, and let my tears flow. He didn't talk, just let me cry, which was just what I needed.
When we broke apart, he looked me in the eyes, and said, "I love you, son."