Song: Druncle Qrow

Author's Note:

Useless statistics: Written December 8, 2015. Published December 8, 2015. Total word count: 305. Body word count: 220 (72%). Rating: T. Writing time: ~1h.

I can't believe I actually wrote a one-shot… and that it's Poetry/Humor… I never do any of those things.

To the tune of the hymn "Lord of the Dance".

Disclaimer: RWBY - and by extension, Qrow Branwen - belong to Rooster Teeth. The author does not necessarily endorse the content of the song.

He drinks when he's happy;
He drinks when he's sad;
He drinks when he's calm,
And also when he's mad.
He drinks in the morning,
Afternoon, and night.
He tips another back
And continues to fight.

Drink, drink, Druncle-Uncle Qrow.
The booze sustains you and makes you so pro.
Hang out in the bar - dat skirt: Oh no!
Don't be defeated, my proud Druncle Qrow.

He wakes up in the morning,
Pounds another flask,
Hops in the shower,
Slosh, wash - what a task.
"Now what is for breakfast? -
It's clear; why did I ask?
Let's fill up the tank
And head out of Patch."

Drink, drink, Druncle-Uncle Qrow.
The booze sustains you and makes you so pro.
Without that stuff, the day must go so slow,
So to the bar, go go go.

"Don't want you kids 'round here;
You cramp my style.
It's not from the drink,
But I taste a little bile.
I think I'm gonna leave;
Just give me a while.
I'll be back to win again,
Red 'n yellow juveniles."

Drink, drink, Druncle-Uncle Qrow.
The booze sustains you and makes you so pro.
It is your lifeblood - haters, what do they know?
You're the Bird of the Drink, Branwen Druncle Qrow.