Unfortunately, failure was not an uncommon occurrence in Cloud Strife's life. He'd been held back grades, came last in most sporting events, was at the bottom of the barrel when he first joined SOLDIER. It had all paid off, in a weird way. Despite that assurance, the hole in his chest grew and burrowed deeper. Looking around at the blank, low-lit walls and the observation window across from his new (shittier) bed, Cloud struggled not to punch something. Because the thing is, he hadn't failed in so long. He'd put the past behind him, studied hard to get to the upper ranks of his classes, and generally felt optimistic about passing the exams - about solving this whole Jenova business, too. He'd jumped the gun, obviously.

He'd blown everything to pieces.

He shifted his sleeping foot and tried hard not to think about the look on Sephiroth's face when the lights came on. No shock, just anger and betrayal. He laughs at the memory, the sound echoing in the soundproof room, because Cloud knew. Somewhere inside him, Cloud knew as soon as he'd opened the stain glass door that there would be no closing it again. He should've closed it, should've listened to his inner voice and shut everything else out.

Should've, could've.

Whatever.

There was no indication of time passing in his cell, sans meals that were shoved hastily through a retracted metal slot in the door. He'd expected some kind of interrogation or torture session right off the bat. Instead, he'd been deemed fit to rot in this room, alone with his thoughts and regrets. He couldn't tell if he was being fed once a day or twice, but he knew by the tenth or eleventh meal that a substantial amount of days had gone by.

Which meant the exams had probably already started, and he wasn't there to take them.

He'd failed the two most important goals he'd had in a matter of minutes, but how? Why? Someone had steered him wrong along the way, but who was it? Rikku? Aerith? Bast? Was it his own stupidity?

Cloud jolted upright at the sound of a deadlock turning. That had never happened before. He braced himself to see the angry eyes of the general, Angeal's disappointed frown, maybe even a betrayed Zack - finally back in HQ. Instead, a patrol officer stared him down and gestured for him to come forward. Cloud obliged, bare feet cold and silent against the stained concrete floor. The man twirled his finger and Cloud spun to face the wall, flinching a little when cuffs clicked against his wrists.

They walked down the dim hallway fast, so fast that Cloud had trouble keeping up with the guard's hand firmly around his arm. His keeper waved and nodded to armed men along the way, who sneered at Cloud. They entered a dark room and the guard quickly turned on the lights.

He'd expected to see a chair and a table, maybe some weaponry meant to either kill him or get some information first, but instead he locked eyes with bundles of clothes in bins and miscellaneous items in clear cases.

"Get your stuff, kid."

Cloud stiffened, turning back to the guard warily. The guard smiled and pointed downward.

Bast padded forward, "Quickly. We don't have much time."

A thousand and one thoughts ran through Cloud's head, each just as unhelpful as the last, before he jumped into action and searched frantically for his clothes and belongings.

"Over here," Maya whispered, back in her original form.

Cloud followed, hurriedly changing and pocketing his PHS, wallet, and Genesis's ring.

"Okay," Bast began, "We have exactly 1 minute before the patrol changes shifts. We're gonna slip out the eastern fire exit and take the elevator up when the coast is clear."

Cloud stuttered, "There are cameras everywhere. No way we're gonna get far without the alarm being raised. Someone's gonna notice that I'm not in my room."

"No, they won't," Maya interjected, "I'm taking your place for a bit. I can give you three enough time to orient yourselves."

"Us three?" Cloud questioned.

"Later," Bast whispered, halfway out the door, "We're moving now."

They tiptoed around corners and waited patiently as Bast whispered into her collar, "Hallway C-2, number 7." Cloud could vaguely hear an affirmative from what must've been a small speaker on the feline's collar. They moved fast and repeated the process three more times until Cloud had to ask.

"What're you doing?" He asked as quietly as he could.

Bast glanced upward, "Hijacking the feed of the cameras and looping it temporarily."

"Who's helping you?" Cloud frowned.

Bast opened her mouth to answer before abruptly closing it and ushering them back from where they came.

"I don't know, apparently he just up and left like a week ago," a voice resounded through the halls.

"The General?" Another voice questioned, "Why would he want to go to Nibelheim? Sounds like a shitty place for a vacation."

"It's not a vacation," the first man scoffed, "he organized a team and took one of the ships. Everyone in HR is busy talking down the execs, because apparently he's not allowed to do that."

"What the hell is he doing over there then?" the second man asked, voice tapering off with distance.

Cloud had frozen up completely at the exchange, Aerith's warning blazing bright in his mind. Sephiroth rarely acted out of character, and even more significantly, he never let anything affect his work. What would he risk his position for?

"I need to get to Nibelheim," Cloud breathed when the footsteps were no longer audible, "I need to get there now."

Bast darted ahead, "I know. Believe me, I know. Maya, you better take off now. I'll get Cloud to the ship."

"What ship?!" Cloud whisper-yelled as they ran, taking the exit and rushing into the elevator. He collapsed against the metal wall thankfully.

"Stage one, complete," Bast spoke into her collar.

They huffed for a bit, regaining their strength and leveling their breath. If there was a ship that could get them to Nibelheim, how were they going to sneak into the landing strip, or into the thing itself?

When the elevator doors opened, Bast cautiously peered around the corners before giving him the all-clear. By the time they'd navigated to the outside, it was clear someone had announced a breech.

"We're gonna get caught the second we try to board," Cloud whispered, looking at the armed cadets (some of which he probably knew) patrolling close and tight to the vessel.

"No, we aren't," Bast asserted, "Believe it or not, all this commotion isn't for you."

Cloud frowned as she shrugged off her collar and gestured for him to take it. He could hear his name being quietly uttered and brought the device to his ear.

"Cloud? It's me, Rikuu."

He couldn't stop his disappointed tone, "Yeah. I'm here."

"Look," she pleaded, "I know a lot of this is probably my fault. Sorry. I never meant to fuck up your life."

Cloud shifted in his kneeling position, eyes glancing over the patrol, "Pretty sure it was already fucked up, but thanks I guess."

Rikku sighed a little before continuing, "You're amazing, you know that? Dealing with all this for so long. So many other people would've given up. I would've probably given up. But, Cloud, there's some dangerous stuff happening and my friend told me we had to get you to Nibelheim straightaway. She won't tell me why -"

"I know why," Cloud interrupted, "but how am I gonna get in this ship?"

"We're gonna cause a distraction, so book it when you get the chance. We got our team here covering you, but once you get into the ship you're on your own!"

Cloud scoffed, "Wait, who's team?"

A beat of silence followed, "AVALANCHE."

Bast pawed at him impatiently, "We need to go."

Cloud's heart began to beat faster, adrenaline already climbing in preparation, "Yeah. Rikku, we're ready when you are."

"Jessie."

Cloud furrowed his eyebrows as he heard yelling from the far corner of the landing strip, "What?"

"My real name, Cloud," she laughed, "Maybe one day, I'll see you again?"

An explosion rocked the ground, forcing him to balance on his fingers. Bast gave him a warning hiss and grabbed the collar before scattering away. Cloud jolted into awareness and ran fast, praying his hair wouldn't draw attention to him on the way there.

Evidently, it didn't. He boarded the nearly empty ship and looked at the other men, caught in the headlights. How the hell was he supposed to explain this?

"Strife!" a voice came from his right, "Glad you could give us backup. Look here, cadets, we found Strife right as the rebels attacked and instead of turning tail he offered to sub in for some Thirds stuck on the ground."

Mathewson smirked and clasped a hand at his shoulder, "You're no third class, Strife, but I'd rather give the general one more cadet than be three whole people short."

Cloud smiled awkwardly at the small praise, looking at the mixture of cadets and third classes with unease. He hoped they bought this story. Gaia, he'd be shot on spot if they figured it out.

Mathewson barked at the pilot, "Get this thing in the air!"

"But- sir," the pilot responded, "there's a battle on the ground. Regulations state that the ship has to be evaluated after battle for-"

"Are you disobeying a direct order? Do you think General Sephiroth is going to care about a skirmish when we arrive both late and lacking his men?!"

"Sir, no sir. Sorry sir. Takeoff in ten seconds."

Cloud hurried to a seat and barely caught a bundle of clothes thrown his way. He looked up just in time to catch an issue-grade cadet helmet.

"Change into those and get some sleep, Cadet. We've got a long journey till Nibelheim."

Cloud saluted best he could from his seat and began to shrug off his casual clothes, wondering simultaneously how Rikku and Bast were doing. It would've been nice to decide on a plan together before he'd boarded, but inside he knew that no amount of planning would make sneaking away from his squad easy.

Of course, this is how he'd return home.

When his mission had interrupted his first official date with one foxy, badass Cloud Strife, Zack had been irritated. When his mission had lasted twice as long as it should've, he was cranky. When they denied his request to contact HQ for a quick check-in with someone - c'mon, at least a message - Zack had been snippy. He'd missed the exams, and he'd promised Cloud he'd be there. When they re-contracted him for yet another mission, back-to-back from Mideel to Nibelheim, of all places, Zack had genuinely been angry.

But not as angry as he was when he touched down to frigid snow and found out that Sephiroth, of all people, had requested him. Sephiroth, who by now knew he was dating Cloud, that he'd been out-of-touch with the cadet for well over a few weeks. The Seconds he talked to in the tiny town's bar weren't drunk, per say, but they were a little out of control. Zack shifted his gaze over to the frowny barkeep and addressed the table.

"Alright, everyone. I'm glad we all found someplace to gather together, but let's keep it a little quieter, yeah? The general isn't gonna be too happy if he finds out you all were causing a scene."

A soldier giggled before someone across from him spoke up, "I don't think the general is gonna care, sir. Ah, shit. I didn't mean it to come out that way."

"He hasn't been to town since the first day we got here, sir," another interceded, "our orders were to stay put and wait for him to finish the job."

Zack frowned, finding the move adequately un-Sephiroth-like to ask, "What exactly is the job? My briefing didn't have any information besides acting as back-up."

The giggly soldier blew a raspberry, "Dude, I mean sir, we got no fuckin clue. He went to this mansion a ways away from town and hasn't moved since."

"We wanted to go check on him a few days ago," a soldier wrung his hands, "but we're Seconds and, well, you know how that is."

A long time ago, when he was a kid and had nothing to do with SOLDIER, Zack had been messing around in the jungle with his friends. They'd been barefoot, loud, and really, really, stupid when they'd decided to explore a weird, grassy cave. Zack had felt the exact moment when their play date began to turn sour. His friends had been laughing, throwing around fruit and yelling into the darkness to hear their echoes when Zack felt his mind briefly separate from his surroundings. He'd been dazed, felt heavier, and weakly suggested that they all turn around and go home. His friends didn't listen.

The roar of the grand horn still reverberates in his head, still reminds him of the awful mistake they all made, of the one kid that didn't run fast enough that day. He'd never been more hell-bent on getting into SOLDIER than the day after the funeral, when he realized that the world needed more heroes.

So why did he feel like he needed to tell everyone to run away? What about Sephiroth locked away in a mansion made him feel heavy and dizzy and like one of them wasn't going to escape?

He crossed his arms and pushed out a trademark grin, "Fear his wrath, huh? Don't worry about it, I'll head up to check on him in a few. Do any of you have your PHSs?"

The group looked at each other confusedly before pulling them out, "Yeah, but there's like no reception here, Sir."

Zack huffed and collapsed in his chair, "I can't get a break."

"The chopper has a connection straight to HQ if you needa use it," the giggly second suggested.

"Nah," Zack waved him off, "I've been away from Midgar for too long and I wanted to check in with some people. Hear all the gossip, ya'know?"

"Gossip?" the giggly soldier asked, "Well, we got that. We just shuffled some cadets out and they got some gooood info."

Zack laughed, "Thanks, man. I mean like news about people I actually know. I missed the exams and I told someone I'd be there for the results."

"Man, forget the exams. Way more shit been goin' down. You know Cloud Strife, yeah? Cadet with this crazy pointy hair? Ye' high?" A soldier across from him spoke up for the first time.

There was that feeling again.

"Yeah," Zack carefully responded, "Yeah, we're buds. Why?"

Cloud groggily blinked his eyes open. The ship's cabin was silent and still, and a quick sweep to the left and the right earned him eyefuls of passed out, slobbery cadets. Except one, who upon seeing him wake, approached quietly. The mystery cadet casually sat down on the ground in front of him and sighed. Cloud frowned as the cadet rifled through his pockets for a second before handing over a medium-sized bundle.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Cloud took the item from his helmeted peer. Upon opening it, he found a stash of potions, ethers, a low-level cure materia, and an esuna.

"Not be be ungrateful," Cloud whispered, "but why…?"

The cadet chuckled before wiggling off his helmet, brown hair falling forward into green eyes he knew well.

"Been worried about you, Cloud," Glybie breathed back, "glad we got to you when we did."

It felt surreal to see the giving god again, and it reminded him of easier times - back when his only real concerns were covering his tracks and preparing for the exams. Everything had fallen apart since then.

"I'm fine," Cloud responded, fingering the cap to a potion absentmindedly.

"Uh-huh," Glybie sang out, "Sure man."

They sat in silence for a while, but Cloud couldn't tell if it was an expectant silence or a comfortable one. He racked his head for a reason for Glybie's presence and brought up nothing.

"Did it pay off?" Glybie asked, leaning back on his hands.

"Did what pay off?" Cloud asked back.

"The cookies. Did they help you make connections with people?"

A 'no' was halfway out of Cloud's mouth before he actually paused to consider the statement. It had been what reunited him and Zack, kick-started their relationship, actually. It had brought him closer to Rikku, and despite her deception he had to recognize that he'd still be in cuffs without her. He supposed the cookies had also made quite an impression on Mathewson, who, for some reason, was helping him get to Nibelheim.

"Is Mathewson in on all this too?" Cloud asked Glybie, looking around for anyone who could be listening.

Glybie blinked, looking over his shoulder to the man in question, "That guy? I don't know him."

That was concerning. With his arms crossed and mouth wide open, slumbering Mathewson didn't look at all dangerous. What if he, you know, knew Rikku? What if he was AVALANCHE?

Cloud nervously rolled his shoulders. As much as he appreciated help from the organization, he didn't want to get anymore involved than he already was. He'd never been one for politics. He just wanted to be strong, to be SOLDIER. But, maybe being SOLDIER was inherently political. He couldn't see himself cutting down people like Rikku, but he also couldn't see himself cutting down people like Zack, like Gen and 'Geal and Seph.

Like himself.

No matter what happened in Nibelheim, Cloud had a nagging sensation that he would be forced to choose. An impossible choice.

"Are you ready?" Glybie's voice narrowed his focus.

"Has my answer to that question ever changed anything?" Cloud whispered back, pensive and sullen.

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. When he looked up, Glybie was gone and a cadet across from him was blinking his eyes open. Mathewson followed, letting out a long yawn before jolting the cabin awake, "All right! Look alive and put on your jackets. We're landing in ten."

The meeting point was uneventful, a fair distance away from his actual home. The air was too still, and the cold was biting. When he strained his ears, he could hear the "ip, ip, ip" of the dew birds. Cloud knew from experience that a storm was on its way. Hopefully, the driver would haul ass and get them to his town before it set in. They clambered into two squad vehicles and took off, travelling swiftly but erratically to avoid the bumps in the almost-road.

Cloud hadn't bothered talking to anyone. He figured they were indifferent toward him, anyway. That is, until one of them asked him a question that froze his blood.

"So, did they let you go? Rumor was you were gonna be put away for life," a nasally cadet asked from across the car.

"Idiot!" another cadet patronized, "He wouldn't've been allowed to come with us unless he was wrongly accused and they caught the guy. Right, Strife?"

Cloud opened and closed his mouth a few times, not realizing that his situation had somehow become public knowledge among the cadets. Gaia, that meant everyone and their mother knew by now.

"Not that it's any of your business, Donalds," Mathewson stepped in, "but yes, Strife was wrongly accused. He was let out of custody recently because they found the perpetrator. Everything else is classified information, so nothing outta all of you. You too, Strife."

Cloud darted his eyes to Mathewson, who looked at him meaningfully and expanded, "I know you're eager to prove to the men that you're innocent, but we can't have you talking about any of it until the case is fully closed."

Cloud licked his lips, "Yeah. Got it, Sir."

Mathewson didn't say a word until they all piled out of the car. The men were rowdy after the ride, some play fighting and others loudly hoping they'd get a drink or two in before bed. A few of the villagers - Ms. Carine and her now-teenage son - gave them dirty looks as they passed by.

He was so glad he was wearing a helmet.

SOLDIERs didn't receive warm welcomes here anymore, not after a broken part in the reactor flooded their water supply with poison. The entire town had to be evacuated for months before they could clean it up and find another source of drinking water. Most people who had evacuated never went back. It was hard to believe that Nibelheim had once been a hub for trade and tourism, known chiefly for winter sports. After the bad press, his mom told him, no one wanted to ski in a disaster area. There was plenty of snow elsewhere. When his classmates found out he wanted to join SOLDIER they accused him of being too weak for such a thing. When the adults found out, they must've given their kids some more suggestions. How could a kid wanting to be a hero "betray" an entire town? Ridiculous.

He'd been trailing behind the group when Mathewson grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

"You need to disappear," he asserted, gauging Cloud's reaction.

Cloud frowned, "What?"

"You have something to do, don't you? You should go do it," the older man smirked, "just don't die on us."

Cloud wanted to say something, but "thank you" felt like too little and an explanation for his actions felt like too much. Mathewson turned away and followed the cadets into the bar before he could think of anything.

He huffed and looked around more carefully. The town hadn't changed at all. Well, scratch that, the inn looked like it had gotten a paint job. He noticed the shutters were drawn in half the establishments, and Old Man Louis was bolting up his shed. These things only ever happened when they were expecting a long storm. It wasn't ideal in the slightest, and part of him prayed that he wouldn't need to go outside of town in order to find Sephiroth and…

...and what?

A sudden gust of wind had him shielding himself and shivering. It passed quickly, the whistle echoing throughout the town. First, he had to get some information from the only person he ever trusted in Nibelheim.

It was unexpected, how much he wanted to cry when he saw her. Her hair was a little more wiry, but still bright blonde and pulled into her signature bun. The frown on her face accentuated the lines on her face, most of which was probably caused by him. She crossed her arms over her apron, "Yeah?"

Cloud smiled at the attitude and tugged off his helmet, "What? You don't know your kid when you see him?"

She narrowed her eyes before quietly squealing and tugging him inside, bolting several of the locks in place as she talked rapid fire, "I knew you were coming. The moment those men arrived I knew you'd be picked to come too. How could they not? You know this town and the path to the reactor better than anyone."

Cloud chuckled as she aggressively pushed him into the kitchen and onto his chair, "Really? You seemed surprised to me."

"Shush," she waved a hand at him while checking the oven, "You're just in time for dinner. It's great you found some free time to come see me."

Cloud felt guilt wash over him, "Well, I can't stay long."

She scoffed and passed him a mortar and pestle, "Uh-huh. Grind this up for me, my strong soldier son."

Cloud flushed at the teasing, averting his eyes to the hanging herbs and breathing in the scent of home. It felt like lifetimes ago since he last sat here, and somehow it also felt like only yesterday. So much had changed, and would continue to if he didn't locate the general fast enough. Absentmindedly, Cloud ground the pepper and herbs and considered his options. He'd check the inn and the bar first, of course. If the general wasn't in town…Cloud huffed a bit, listening to the soft clinks from the stone mortar and pestle.

"Well, why are they here?"

Cloud jolted and met his mom's eye, "Uh, you know. Routine reactor stuff."

She smiled disbelievingly and continued stirring a pot of soup, "You mean to tell me that the general and a second wave of backup came all the way to Nibelheim for routine maintenance?"

Cloud bit his lip before standing and making his way to the stove. Automatically, he dropped the contents of the mortar into the soup while his mother continued to stir.

"I missed you," he said quietly. The wooden spoon stopped turning as his mother regarded him patiently. He waited for the statement to be returned, but the silence dragged on a beat too long.

Finally, she dropped her eyes down, "I know you know what's really going on. No - I don't need excuses. Whatever it is you're here to do, I hope it's something I'd be proud of."

Cloud searched for the correct response, "I just - there's this thing. You wouldn't believe me if I tried. I don't think I could explain it right."

His mother nodded her head decidedly, "I don't need answers, Cloud. You've always been secretive, ever since you were a little boy. All those letters you sent me, I know they must have been the result of many drafts, right?"

Cloud made a weird affirmative noise, scratching the back of his head uncertainty.

"If you can't share what's going on around here, maybe you could tell me about those boyfriends of yours," she teased lightly.

Cloud's heart stopped beating, "What? Boyfriends? What?"

His mother chuckled, tapping him lightly to move out of the way, "You think I haven't noticed how much you write about those men? I know you didn't outright tell me that you liked them, but you acted the same way about Tifa -"

"Mom!"

"What?" she asked innocently, setting down freshly baked bread on the table.

Cloud grappled for a verbal hold, "I just, that doesn't mean that I - that they…"

She waited patiently for her son to continue as she set the table and sat down, gesturing to his seat pointedly.

Cloud slumped into this chair, "I'm dating one of them. Zack. You remember him, right?"

She hummed, "That's the one you first told me about. The goofy guy that makes you laugh. Isn't he helping you pass the exam? When is that?"

Cloud ignored the questions, feeling a rock of shame and disappointment drop into his stomach. He'd never be able to go back to SOLIDER now, not after all this.

"Uh, yeah. That guy. But, um. I've kind of, gotten involved with the others. Informally! It was an accident, and, I guess maybe Zack doesn't know. He's been away on a mission."

His mother chuckled and served herself some soup, "You sound like someone in one of my books, Cloud."

Cloud blushed as the insinuation. He'd rather not think of himself as romantic protagonist, but damn, his life did kind of make him one. He pressed his lips together and served himself some soup too.

"What are you going to do?" his mother asked after a few beats.

"I have no idea," he answered honestly, not sure if she was asking about his love life or his job in Nibelheim. If he managed to find Sephiroth and stop him, there'd be no going back to the life he lived. There'd be an even smaller chance that he could still associate with Zack and the others. A stubborn part of him wanted to try, because he couldn't imagine a life without Zack's protective, idiot, stupid eyes. He couldn't imagine rainy days without Genesis's lilting voice drawing him in and out of books. What was the point of gardening if he couldn't surprise Angeal with new seeds, or feel his fingers gently wipe the dirt off his face? Fuck, even Sephiroth's mind games and his surprisingly playful personality had made HQ feel more like home - like he was being watched out for.

Cloud tore off a piece of bread and dipped it before dropping it entirely. Here, sitting at home in the midst of the absolute chaos that was his life, he came to an extremely obvious and important conclusion.

He was in love with all five of them. Not just Zack, not just "like", but he was fully, undeniably, in love. He knew he was shaking, and he knew his mom could see, but the gravity of the revelation gripped him hard and tight. He'd wasted so much time to anxiety and fear, to feeling like he couldn't be good enough for any of them. He rejected the possibility that they could all feel the same way, and that maybe they all wanted to make something work together. Sure, he had a secret, but maybe if he'd told them…

What if they had believed him? Cloud felt the full brunt of bittersweet potential, and he could see it. He could see himself telling them about Glybie and Bast and Carpo; he could see their disbelief. He could have proven it, maybe, with Maya. He could have made this all easier. They could've been with him at this very moment fighting alongside him to…

Gaia, what if that could've stopped Sephiroth from being possessed? What if that had been enough to make Jenova pause and reconsider? Fuck, he had no idea. But part of him screamed with newfound clarity, because he wouldn't be here, alone and poised to be a runaway for life, if he had just fucking let them in.

"Honey," his mom soothed, "If it's meant to work out, it'll work out."

Cloud still couldn't tell if she was talking about his love life or his mission, but he supposed it applied to both. He looked up at her, aging but somehow more lively, and saw his own eyes. He cleared his throat, "Mom, do you know where Sephiroth is?"

She raised a brow, noticing the lack of title, "Right now? I'm afraid I don't. He refused to stay in the inn and disappeared. I know his men are at the tavern, but aside from the reactor there's only one other place I'd guess -"

"The old mansion," Cloud breathed, feeling the knowledge slam a door shut.

"Yes," she crossed her arms, "It'd be dangerous to go out in that blizzard, but Cloud, if this is as important as I suspect it is, you need to go now."

"I've been in blizzards before," Cloud stood, "I'll make things right, Mom."

She too stood, taking a coat and bundle from their pantry and passing it to him. Cloud frowned in confusion, opening the bundle to find fresh food and an emergency storm kit.

"You know you're not supposed to keep perishable food in these, right?" Cloud asked.

She pushed him toward the door, "I put it together for you yesterday."

Cloud looked at her questioningly as he tugged on the coat, "But you didn't know I was coming."

She hugged him and brushed the hair out his eyes, "Oh Cloud. You're not the only one with gifts."

He knew this trail like the back of his hand. He'd disappeared from town often, liking the quiet howl of the winds more than the annoying voices of his neighbors. Only one of them ever really mattered to him, and it'd been a long time since he'd heard from Tifa. He tried not to think about how he'd failed his personal mission to become strong, to be the hero that she'd asked for. They would be articles about him in the newspaper, that's for sure, but it would be wanted ads and stories about his jailbreak. Gaia, she'd never know the real truth.

By the time he'd reached the jimmied mansion gate, his eyelashes felt frozen together and his teeth were chattering. The heat packs he'd attached to his undershirt were starting to wear off and he was pretty sure his feet were just blocks of flesh.

Hurriedly taking down a few wild monsters, Cloud carefully entered the dilapidated house. The floor was creaky and missing boards here and there, probably the result of his schoolmates breaking in on dares. Cloud surveyed the area and made his way upstairs, checking several floors and thanking Gaia each time that he went unnoticed. The enemies looked easy, but fighting would've attracted unnecessary attention.

Having found no sign of the general, he looped back down to the main floor in confusion. He remembered the rumors, that there was a basement filled with terrible monsters that ShinRa left for kids to find. The six-year-old in Cloud told him to absolutely not go down to the basement, but he knew he had to try. That didn't stop him from sitting down and eating a chocolate bar from his pack first.

After glaring at the door for solid ten seconds, he bit the bullet and entered the basement. Descending the dark stairs with his gun drawn, Cloud wondered if Sephiroth would take interest in this part of the mansion. Everywhere he looked he saw broken furniture and crumpled, yellow papers. He guessed that no one had been down here in a long, long time. Surveying the rooms one-by-one, Cloud came to a stop in front of what appeared to be coffin.

A coffin that has been opened.

And had a very real, very recent hand print on it's dusty surface.

"You just missed him," a familiar voice echoed through the room. Cloud flinched and turned his gun to the speaker before lowering it incredulously.

"You're the lion guy," Cloud pointed with his weapon, not remembering the name Bast gave.

The animal huffed, "Nanaki, and you've just missed Sephiroth. One of our own is on his tail, but I'm not sure if he'll be able to hold him off long with Jenova this close."

"Wait," Cloud did a double-take, "Jenova is close?"

Nanaki made a startled sound, "You didn't know? Her physical remains are at the reactor. Once Sephiroth reaches that, it's over."

Cloud felt his heart sink. That's what the document had meant. Nibelheim was a storage facility for Jenova. "Well, shit," Cloud articulated.

Nanaki nodded and began trotting away, "Our friend here was fast asleep, but Bast assured me he'd come to our aid once I mentioned Sephiroth and Jenova. Last I saw, he was trying to keep him away from the village."

Cloud hurried after, "Why away from the village?"

Nanaki leapt up the stairs, waiting for Cloud to come into the main floor before responding, "He's gone, Cloud. The man you knew was no more. No matter what the outcome today, I'm afraid you won't get him back."

Cloud scoffed nervously, re-adjusting his pack, "But why away from the village?"

Nanaki glanced at him sympathetically, "I think you already know. There's no time to lose; we must get to the reactor before they do. Hope is not yet lost for this planet."

Cloud could clearly see the pathway upward as he frantically tried to keep up with Nanaki. It was good, the pressure to run faster. It kept him from replaying their last conversation, from realizing that Sephiroth was likely not going to come out of his alive.

Shit, what if they had to kill him?

"We have a problem," Nanaki huffed, "It looks like the general was able to get a request to one of his men on patrol."

Cloud looked ahead and could vaguely see three cadets, shivering and huddled together.

"What's the plan?" he asked.

Nanaki squinted at him, "I was not in the military, Cloud. This is your area of expertise."

Cloud sighed and surveyed the area: a snowy cliff to his left and a forest to his right, a single pathway up to the reactor with no alternate routes available. He could've scaled the cliffs and cut across, but the snow had hidden most of the grappling spots. The simplest option would've been to use the blizzard to their advantage, hug the tree line, and make like bandits. That plan relied on the cadets not paying attention, and though they were cold and definitely not patrolling, it was still a gamble.

"Either we sneak around or we take them out, somehow," Cloud looked down at his gun, "All they need to do is press one button and back up would be notified."

"Which one then?" Nanaki pressed, tail flickering.

"We'll sneak," Cloud decided, starting to make his way to the trees. It was difficult to stay anonymous in the snow. Cloud knew that patrol would eventually recognize their footprints and sound the alarm, but hopefully it would buy them enough time to get to the reactor.

It was just over halfway in when their luck changed. One of the cadets spun away from the huddle and jogged over to the trees. Nanaki sent him a warning glare and ran further into the woods. Cloud bit his lip and moved to follow, accidentally breaking a twig in the process. Cloud froze, heartbeat quickening.

The cadet looked his way and downward several times, likely willing himself to finish peeing before a possible attack, and Cloud took those precious few seconds to brush over his footsteps with a branch as he retreated. He watched with bated breath as the cadet surveyed the spot he was just in, kneeling down to look at one of Nanaki's footprints before yelling at his buddies, "Ey! Come look at this!"

Cloud grit his teeth as the others jogged over, coming way too close for his comfort.

"Oh shit, there's a bear or something nearby," one of them commented, bending down to look at the print more closely.

"That isn't a bear print you idiot," the first cadet retorted, "this is like a wolf or something. We gotta take it down before it takes us down."

The least interested of the three rubbed his hands up and down his arms, "Dude, I don't wanna hunt a wolf right now."

"Would you rather get attacked when we least expected it?" the first cadet stood, towering over his shivering comrade, "it's probably watching us right now with some of its buddies. Let's check it out."

The cadet was a couple feet into the forest when an excited yell had his head turning backward.

"Go hunt wolves all you want, Chaye," the third cadet mocked, "the sun finally came out!"

Cloud tried to look through the tree line above him for evidence, but all he could spot were the same dreary, dark grey storm clouds. Crouching down a little more and craning his head, Cloud looked across the way to the cliffside. The third cadet was already there, basking in a small sunbeam happily. The second cadet was jogging over to join, and the first looked back his way before grunting and following suit.

It seems warmth was more important to the patrol group than a possible threat.

Cloud smiled and felt a familiar wave of brightness pass through him. It was the calmest he'd felt in weeks. Making his way back to the tree line and cutting behind the unknowing cadets, Cloud whispered, "Thanks for the sun, Carpo."

Nanaki trotted up to him and gave a nod in acknowledgement. Cloud nervously rubbed the back of his head. Unfortunately, it had not been his genius plan that got them there. What Nanaki didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"We should expect some more patrols the closer we get to the reactor, but we don't have time to evade all of them. I'll go ahead and take care of them best I can. Good luck, Cloud Strife."

Cloud's shoulders dropped, "Wait, what am I supposed to do when I get there?"

Nanaki averted his gaze, "We all have our roles. I can't tell you what yours is."

Cloud frowned and watched his companion disappear around the bend. The image reminded him of the faded, hand-knit Nibel shaw his mother used to wear when he was younger. It reminded him that this cold, snowy place was his. SOLDIER could have Midgar, but he'd be damned if they tried to stop him from climbing his own damn mountains.

Face steeled, Cloud attached a heat packet to the inside of his slim gloves and battle-readied his gun. It was time to face Sephiroth and tell him the truth. He jogged through the path without thinking twice, muscle memory allowing him to focus on threats instead of directions. A couple of minutes later he encountered a few cadets strung out in the snow, but it was unclear if they were unconscious, injured, or dead. He soldiered on, trying his best not to feel like he'd betrayed his own - hoping that Nanaki wasn't the kind to kill.

He may've still had his fatigues on, but his change of shoes and overcoat obscured any connection he had to SOLDIER. During the blizzard his helmet had kept frosting over, so he'd cast that aside immediately. For the first time, Cloud wondered if that had been a bad move. One of the groups he passed by a few minutes later were not all knocked-out. Cloud furrowed his eyebrows as he heard his name uttered behind him.

He shouldn't have turned around, but he did. The moment his eyes spotted one of his bunk mates, hair frayed and temple bleeding, Cloud knew that any lie he told himself wouldn't work.

He had betrayed them. He was still betraying them. He could see it in the confused, burning brown of his comrades eyes. Cloud pressed his lips together and came forward, heart dropping in his stomach as his bunk mate crawled backward to avoid him. Cloud caught up easily. Summoning all the courage he had, he harshly bunted the end of his gun against the cadet's head.

"Sorry," Cloud whispered, gently lowering him down before the cadet crashed into the snow. There was no coming back from attacking your own. That's okay, he thought, because he'd never been good at being on a team anyway. His strength was being alone. Willing away the automatic memories of Zack and 'Geal and Genesis that argued with that assertion, Cloud climbed the final summit and came to a halt.

Nanaki fought alongside a man in a red cape, their targets a mix of second and third classes. Cloud marveled at the strength on both sides, his SOLDIER's side burning green with power, Nanaki's his side burning red with gunfire. How was he supposed to get around all this?

Cloud crouched near a cluster of boulders, eyeing another set a few feet away. If he managed going undetected in between jumps, he could exit out the other side and get to the reactor easily. He watched the fighters that were charging up, knowing a group element attack when he saw one, and anxiously waited for it to be cast. When a large boom echoed Cloud jumped and ran to his next checkpoint. He repeated the move twice more, wincing the last time as Nanaki was hit hard. Cloud bit his chapped lip in worry when the lion didn't get back up. Taking a deep breath of cold air in, he turned his back and began to walk around the bend to the reactor. The click of a gun gave him pause.

He didn't even realize he'd been followed.

"Alright, yo. Drop your weapon and put your hands up."

Cloud froze and followed the directions, wondering how his luck had been so terrible. Of all people…

His hood was yanked back and he sullenly met Reno's blank stare. The dull thuds of magic and gunshots continued behind them, and Cloud flinched as the barrel of the gun was pressed against his forehead.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" Reno asked quietly, and Cloud couldn't parse out what he should say, what Reno needed to hear.

He opened his mouth to launch off into an excuse - he was going to get some back-up at the reactor, warn General Sephiroth...look, he has his fatigues on still and everything...He visited his mom and she insisted on all this other stuff.

"Whose side are you on?" Reno asked, pushing the gun more firmly into his skin.

Cloud weighed his choices, but all he could think about were those Friday nights on the roof. The weird, kinda-shitty, kinda-needed friendship between them that had come out of nowhere. He remembered the night he told Reno everything and the turk had still let Cloud go. Maybe this time he'd let him go too.

"Mine," Cloud swallowed, keeping his eyes on Reno.

Reno sized him up for a few seconds before lowering his gun, "Fair still don't know?"

Cloud carefully lowered his hands, "No, he doesn't."

The turk sniffed and walked toward the source of the battle, "Then there's no point stopping you here."

Exhaling and coming to his knees, Cloud tried to calm the rapid beating of his heart. He couldn't figure out what Reno meant, and mulled it over as he picked up his gun and continued to the reactor.

The front was completely unstationed, but the door had been slashed open. Cloud tensed and proceeded with caution. Either Sephiroth had been there and left, or was in there still. A childish part of him was excited to finally see the inside of the mysterious reactor, a structure that his classmates had assured each other was haunted.

Sliding in with gun carefully aimed, Cloud took in the pathways around him. His footsteps sounded too loud, the rustle of his pack against his jacket thunderous. The further in he went, through the steaming core and into a room of odd-looking containers, the worse the sinking feeling in his stomach grew. He panicked for a second, recognizing the sensation from the times Jenova had tried to get to him. He stopped at a door with a plaque that read: JENOVA. He laughed at how straightforward it was before evaluating it for damage. Cloud couldn't tell if it had been opened. There were no slashes or signs of broken entry aside from the front door.

There also wasn't a way to get in.

Cloud looked for hidden panels and tested the sliding doors strength, wincing when a shoulder slam didn't do any damage. He needed to get into that room, whether Sephiroth was there or not. A few more slams found him sitting against the unbreakable door, head in his hands. What now?

"Minerva," Cloud murmured to himself, "I know you wanted me to do this on my own, but…" Cloud scoffed and hit his head against the metal in aggravation before closing his eyes. He absentmindedly palmed Genesis' ring in his pocket and muttered,

"When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end/ The goddess descends from the sky/ Wings of light and dark spread afar/ She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting."

Cloud opened his eyes as he heard chiming bells resound in his ears, and he stood when a whirling played behind him. The door slid open. Cloud breathed in deep, knowing that Loveless quotes, though beautiful, were not passwords to SOLDIER storage facilities.

"Thanks, Minerva," he smiled, hope filling him from head to toe.

He entered Jenova's room as carefully as he had the others, blinking in confusion to find her whole and undisturbed in front of him. Every cell in his body thrumbed with purpose as he came closer, and he knew he had to get rid of her before Sephiroth could do any damage.

He'd expected the spirit to look monstrous and inhuman, but instead Cloud was faced with a blue, floating woman, eyes glowing steadily in the dim light of the room. The longer he stared the more he felt her presence, overwhelming and all-consuming. Frantically, he searched for a way of keeping her out while he did what need to be done.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess" Cloud began to recite aloud, "We seek it thus, and take to the sky/ Ripples form on the water's surface / The wandering soul knows no rest."

The presence abated as he recalled a soft memory. Angeal had joined him and Genesis in the library one rainy afternoon. He'd lazily listened to Genesis read aloud, half sprawled against the couch with the bigger first at his back. Angeal's warmth had kept him sleepy and at peace.

Cloud readied his gun and willed himself to stop shaking, even held his breath so that a handful of shots would be enough to get rid of this thing. This wasn't going to be a repeat of his fire mishap all those months ago. He was better now.

A split second before he was able to pull the trigger, Cloud heard someone scream. Another voice joined the fray, and though he couldn't make out the words, Cloud knew it was a plea. Before he could take another step, his back had been slammed into Jenova's tube and a hand was crushing his windpipe against it.

"Do you see now, Zackary? Do you believe me now?"

Oh, fuck.

Cloud pried his eyes open and hazily took in Zack's frazzled expression.

"What's going on?" the first class demanded, "You're acting like a mad man! First that girl from the village and now Cloud? Why are you attacking people?!"

Cloud bearily traced the arm holding him in place up to Sephiroth's enraged expression, "You don't see it, Zachary Fair? This boy is a spy and he's put us all through turmoil!"

"How has Cloud put us through turmoil? What are you even saying?"Zack desperately questioned.

"Cloud Strife was imprisoned for -"

"That was a misunderstanding!" Zack interrupted, "He came in with the batch of cadets last night. They wouldn't have let him go unless they knew he was innocent!"

Sephiroth squeezed his neck tighter and Cloud gasped, "No one has jurisdiction to release him except me. That is in writing. There's only one way he could be here,"

Cloud desperately fought for air to speak with. Figures, when he finally wanted and needed to tell them everything, he couldn't.

Zack said nothing, and when Cloud blinked his eyes open again he wished he'd kept them closed. If heartbreak could be represented through a look alone, Zack had told him all he needed to know.

"Who do you think broke into the weaponry room and stole? Him," Sephiroth chuckled bitterly.

Cloud was getting lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, but with every ounce of his being he wanted Zack to stop looking at him like that.

"Who was responsible for unleashing an experiment from the labs? Did you notice that same experiment is now attacking us? Odd that Cloud Strife is also here, isn't it?" Sephiroth hissed.

"That's conjecture," Zack shakily responded.

"Is it?" Sephiroth laughed, mean and dark, "How about Angeal and Genesis losing their mako? They both kept to their apartments that week, I remember it clearly. The only other people that came and went were you, me, and Strife. Did you poison them?"

Zack faltered, "No, I-"

" Neither. Did. I." Sephiroth gritted out, punctuating each word by forcing his body deeper into the fracturing glass behind him.

As soon as Cloud hit the hard ground, he gulped in much-needed air and coughed his way through the black dots in front of him. Panicked yelling drew his vision up to see Sephiroth and Zack mid-fight. He could tell by the way that they'd greened-up that this wasn't just a fight to subdue. His heart ached at the scene in front of him, seeing two people he loved so much at one another's throat because of his bullshit. If he had just come clean, at least to Zack…

The dark presence was back again, suffocating him in an entirely different way. Cloud almost sobbed at the overwhelming emotion paired with his current situation. Staring at Zack, Cloud shakily recited under his breath, "My friend, do you fly away now? / To a world that abhors you and I? / All that awaits you is a somber morrow / No matter where the winds may blow…"

He'd had so many life-changing moments with Zack. His new favorite memory was obvious, and he choked as he remembered the night they got together, the blue screen of the tv that made Zack's face even more beautiful as they lay on the carpet, breathless with new love and possibility.

"My friend, your desire / Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess / Even if the morrow is barren of promises / Nothing shall forestall my return," Cloud angrily bushed his tears away. He got to his feet as he sensed Zack wearing down, getting sloppier with his blocks and slower with his materia casting. Cloud wasn't going to let them kill each other; he needed to end this now. Picking up his gun and looking between Jenova and his feuding friends, Cloud hoped that most of Sephiroth's aggravation and malice was would cease after this. Getting rid of Jenova might slow him down.

He'd fired three shots into the capsule before he heard Zack plea,"Cloud!"

Turning to block whatever it was Zack was warning him about, fear turned to shock. Once, when he was still pretty young, he'd fallen off a cliff and broken some of his bones. They didn't have a great town doctor, and it was absorbently expensive to treat his wounds with potions. They'd fixed him the old fashioned way by setting his bones and forcing pain medication down his throat. It hurt worse than anything he'd ever experienced, and he remembered telling himself that he'd be invincible afterward. If he could get through that, he could get through anything.

Staring at the blade that had entered his chest, Cloud realized he'd been an idiot. Breaking your bones was nothing. Breaking hearts...being mortally wounded by someone you loved, that was the kind of shit that made you invincible. He just needed to get through it.

Get through it, he chanted in his head as he gripped the sword with his hands and used the leverage to throw General Sephiroth off balance. Using all his strength, Cloud threw the older man away from the capsule.

The general roared in anger but otherwise stayed floored. Cloud fell to his knees and grasped the sword still attached to him, caught between pulling it out and leaving it in ("If it looks like a fatal wound", one of his teachers had taught them, "keep the weapon in unless you have the medical attention needed to patch it up. Otherwise, you'll bleed out faster than you have time to get help"). He looked up and met Zack's gaze once again. Zack, who was a first class and still hadn't recovered.

Cloud was prepared to die in the reactor. He knew the chances of him fixing everything and leaving alive were slim. He'd been wrestling with the fact that Sephiroth's (the real, half-smile, heroic Sephiroth's) survival was even more precarious. But Zack too? What had he done to deserve any of this? Cloud gulped down air, "Zack, I'm so sorry."

Zack's face stayed betrayed and desperate, "What for? Are you really a spy? Did you poison Gen and 'Geal? Did you get close to us just to…"

Cloud grimaced and turned his head, "I can answer every question you have, but there's something we need to do. We need to-"

Cloud gasped as lightning hit Zack and knocked him out cold. Sephiroth had risen while he had been talking.

"You're not going to corrupt him, Cloud Strife," the general asserted, painfully making his way toward Jenova.

Cloud clawed at the ground as he fought to get up, "I'm not the one being corrupted, Sephiroth! Jenova has a hold on you, she's controlling your mind!" Cloud winced at the sudden migraine behind his eyes, knowing it was the dark entity trying to stop his explanation. Sephiroth had stopped moving toward him, and was looking at him that specific way - the way he had looked at him these past few months whenever Cloud had done something suspicious yet intriguing. Like he was a puzzle to figure out and Sephiroth was looking for a challenge.

Cloud quickly whispered, "My friend, the fates are cruel / There are no dreams, no honor remains / The arrow has left the bow of the goddess"

The migraine retreated reluctantly, but Cloud could feel it there, waiting for his spell to wear off. "Seph, do you know about the Cetra? How they can talk to Gaia? There's one under the plate, her name is Aerith. Zack knows her." Cloud was emboldened by a spark of recognition that flashed through the general's eyes, "I'm like her, Seph. But I don't talk to the planet; I-I talk to gods and spirits. They ask me to help them do things in our realm."

Cloud eagerly hoped that Sephiroth would connect the dots - equate this shifty behavior to the tasks he had to keep secret - finally understand Cloud's fear over Sephiroth being possessed by "something."

"The reason why you're so angry - why you tried to hurt me in the hallway that time - it's because one of them, Jenova, is trying to make you destroy everything!"

Cloud screamed as the presence in his mind threatened to break it apart. He clutched his head and gritted out, "My soul, corrupted by vengeance / Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey / In my own salvation / And your eternal slumber."

He could feel Sephiroth getting closer as he recited, his anxiety somehow similar to the day the man had chased him around his apartment - cookie crumbs in his hair and all. Cloud had just looked up to plead again when a terrible, searing pain emitted from his chest once again. On the floor in agony, he registered that the general had pulled his sword out and now had it pointed toward him once again. The ground was slick with blood, and as much as he tried, Cloud couldn't find purchase to crawl away. The black spots returned to his vision as he took in the last thing he'd ever see: Great General Sephiroth going in for the kill.

They say you see your life pass by you moment before you die, but the only things Cloud could really think of were places: the quiet library, his shitty bunk, Zack's messy apartment, the garden's moondrops just sprouted, the fountain statue of Minerva on Loveless Ave...

There was no point in resisting anymore. It was more for his own benefit that he recited in his head, Legend shall speak / Of sacrifice at world's end / The wind sails over the water's surface.

"Quietly, but surely," Sephiroth finished.

Cloud frowned, opening his eyes (when had he closed them?) to stare at Sephiroth in confusion. The general was still poised to attack, Masamune raised but hand shaking. The closer he looked, the cadet could see his superior's entire body trembling with effort, eyes squinted and lips pursed. What was happening?

"I do not wish to hurt you Cloud. I am trying," Sephiroth gritted out, sounding uncharacteristically afraid.

Hope rose into Cloud's eyes and blurred his vision. Did he finally believe him? Everything he said?

"Yes, Cloud. I do."

What? He hadn't asked a question. Was Jenova-

"Yes, she is here. She is talking to me. She says you are lying, but I can hear you too. I know the truth about myself. I know what a monstrosity I am, created and changed for SOLDIER like a common labrat," the general swallowed before continuing, "I remember that day you were thinking of Cloud. The day you were sad and Zack was not there for you. I wanted -"

Cloud felt the memory click behind his eyes, except he was seeing himself flushed and smiling anxiously while being chased. Watching his own eyes when Sephiroth had leaned in...

Sephiroth chuckled bitterly, "I wanted more chances to make you smile, to make Zack laugh, to show Angeal that I do care, to prove to Genesis that we could live a life away from all of this."

"How," Cloud stammered, "How are you in my head? How am I in yours?"

Before Sephiroth could answer his face morphed into pain and anger, and Jenova came forward to box Cloud in on both sides. He could feel her in his head again, and prayed louder than he ever had, "Even if the morrow is barren of promises / Nothing shall forestall my return."

Sephiroth's hand shook violently before it launched forward, the blade's blood shining as it came closer to Cloud. Cloud closed his eyes, and grimaced as a shrill scream echoed in the crevices of his mind. Yet, no new pain struck him. Blinking, he chuckled in exhausted relief as he traced the sword's trajectory from Sephiroth's grip to Jenova's remains. Her glowing eyes flickered before going dark, and before Cloud could sigh in relief, he was violently shoved several feet away from the machine.

Coughing up blood, Cloud glanced past Zack's unconscious form to Sephiroth's now-fallen one. In between them, a dark mass loomed and shifted like flickers of ash. Jenova was not human. Her spirit was strong as ever, and he was in no condition to do anything about it. He gasped as she moved to hover over Sephiroth's form and desperately yelled, "To become the dew that quenches the land-"

The form shifted to him and hurled forward, blasting him out into the core. It must've been adrenaline, because Cloud knew he shouldn't have been able to stand after all the wounds he'd sustained. Jenova came closer and hissed, "You pathetic little boy. You are no hero. I've allowed you to escape and you've come back every time."

Cloud smirked, "Sounds like that bothers you. Have I ruined your plans?"

Jenova's anger become tangible at that statement, and he barely felt it when she propelled him through the front door of the reactor and into the snow. The cold felt comforting after the sweltering heat inside, and Cloud relished in the numbing sensation of the blizzard once again surrounding him. He had little time to rest, and spared a glance behind him to make sure Jenova was following before he ran as fast as he could in a random direction.

He was going to die anyway, of that he was sure. The least he could do was give Sephiroth and Zack a little more time to escape the hell that was his hometown.

Cloud remembered when he last strayed from the path in the mountains. He remembered the fear of being young and alone and lost. Like last time, the sky was dark with white and the creatures nowhere to be seen. It didn't matter where he went, so long as he took Jenova with him.

You cross paths with those unseemly.

Clutching onto consciousness and these strange, familiar words, Cloud closed his eyes. He knew this voice had spoken to him before, and only once had he understood the words. Their family's patron deity, Nibel, had found him.

The darkness is here, and you must defeat it.

"I cannot," Cloud asserted as he ran, "I cannot because I am battered and broken. I can't defeat her as I am."

I can promise you that her form will be contained here. No harm will befall those you love. Seek the bramble, young one. That is where you will find what you need.

Bramble? Bramble bushes? Cloud peered left and right until he spotted a knot of brown in the otherwise white terrain. It was thorny and wouldn't bear flowers until early spring, but it was most certainly bramble. Beyond it laid a vast whiteness that Cloud couldn't see past. Dejectedly, he sank down and prayed for a miracle. A few seconds passed and nothing happened, but now he could make out a flurry of darkness coming toward him. He wished it would wash away with the snow.

If you give in to your failures and your fears, you will never find the way.

'I want to know the way', the young boy responded, 'I want to know the way to stop this.'

You already know it.

Cloud scanned the vastness once again, and forlornly heard the bells in his ears, the tingling of light in his limbs. He was in the sky, floating above the mountains. Across from him was Minerva, impassive and brilliant. She waited expectantly.

Jenova was in front of him, behind him, below him. He whispered, "To spare the sands, the seas, the skies,"

Zack. Angeal. Genesis. Sephiroth.

Minerva extended her hand his way, glowing and grim.

"I offer thee this silent sacrifice."

The night was quiet and calm. Sephiroth leaned on the wooden balcony, watching waves crash and retreat gently against white sand. There were far more stars visible to him here. Costa del Sol's night sky was vastly preferable to Midgar's. He could hear Angeal and Genesis talking in the kitchen downstairs, and Zack's video game behind their voices.

It was the fourth place they'd moved to, and Sephiroth hoped it would be the last.

The ex-general descended to the first story and peered into steaming pots and pans, absentmindedly slipping his arm around Angeal's waist.

"How's the sky tonight?" Angeal teased.

"Same as always," Sephiroth responded, "What's for dinner?"

"Some weird fish that I don't trust," Genesis complained, leaning on the counter next to them, "Seriously, why does it look like that? Are you sure it's safe to eat?"

"It's safe!" Zack yelled from the other room, "You're just jealous cause you suck at fishing!"

Sephiroth chuckled before kissing away from aggressive pout on Genesis's face, "We all have our strengths, Gen."

Genesis mocked the sentence under his breath before turning to pour them drinks.

Sephiroth couldn't tell how far Zack had gotten in his latest video game. They all looked the same to him, but the younger man swore each one was extremely different and complex. The three of them had tried playing with Zack a handful of times, but were terrible at mastering the small hand movements that came with mastering a controller ("Excuse you," Genesis had sassed after one of Zack's failed teaching lessons, "Maybe this is impossible to everyone else in the world but you." Zack's eyes clouded over as he huffed nostalgically, "Nah. I knew someone who was just as good as me, once upon a time").

"How're you fairing, Fair?" Sephiroth asked when he came into the living room, eyes trained on Zack's concentrated form. The younger man made an aggravated sound, shoulders up to his ears and back bowed forward, "Not so good. Also, that pun is getting as old as you, old man."

The old man glared, and though Zack was paying express attention to the TV, he could feel the death stare and chuckled. Sephiroth lazily watched Zack die several times before Genesis came in with a tray of glasses.

"Tea, idiots," Genesis lovingly beckoned.

Zack snorted as he paused the game, "Does Seph's have like a gallon of sugar and syrup flavoring?"

"Of course it does," Angeal called out at the same time as Genesis yelled, "It's sacrilege!"

Sephiroth and Zack joined a playfully upset Genesis at the table. Angeal came shortly after with dishes hot and ready. He had just sat down when he looked across his seat and frowned.

"Gen," he called gently, "You did it again."

Genesis looked up, confused, before sighing and moving the extra drink he had placed in front of the empty seat away, "Sorry."

Zack smiled encouragingly and pecked Genesis on the cheek. Digging into his food sloppily, Zack made a show of mmm-ing and asserted, "It's delicious, Angeal!"

Genesis wrinkled his nose, "Ugh, you beast. Chew with your mouth closed."

It was Sephiroth's favorite part of the day. Having peaceful meals with those he loved most and knowing the rest of his life would be filled with moments like these. For so long he'd desired it, feared it, rejected it. Now, looking around at a table full of those he loved, protected from anyone who'd hurt them, Sephiroth tried his best to completely satisfied.

But, like always, his eyes strayed to the empty seat that Genesis kept seeing full. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed impossible to keep his gaze away from the ring - Genesis's ring - that had sat still and unblinking on their table since the last time they'd moved. It'd been the same each time, each home, each table. He could still remember the day everything had gone wrong...the self-hatred he'd felt when he woke in the reactor and seen Zack unconscious and pale. The shame that'd torn through his body when he'd seen the village girl crying and afraid of him outside the reactor's doors. The abject fear of remembering the potentially fatal wound he'd given Cloud, followed by the trail of blood that disappeared into the blizzard.

By the time they'd gotten medical attention and calmed, the storm had left. With it, all signs of Cloud and his whereabouts. He and Zack had argued over what their next move should be when a week passed and they could not locate their cadet. Sephiroth's anxiety spiked when he learned Tsung was on his way to take his statement, and Professor Hojo with him for 'medical reasons'. When Zack had asked the red-haired turk to deliver two manila folders to people in Midgar, Reno had looked between Zack and Sephiroth uneasily.

"This about Cloud?" He'd asked, sounding impartial but looking otherwise.

"Yeah," Zack muttered, "We hope so."

Sephiroth shifted back into present time when Zack's knife clinked a tad too hard against his plate.

"Oops, sorry," he smiled sheepishly.

Angeal lifted a brow, "Aerith say when the antidotes would get here?"

Zack sighed and slouched in his seat, "She said in the next couple of weeks. Things have been crazy since the plate fell. She's trying to grow the flowers somewhere else, but they're not taking very fast."

Genesis hummed, "Well, let's hope we won't have to move again before she gets those to us. It was a nightmare tracking her down last time."

Sephiroth's discovery of Hojo and Hollander's experiments had made him eternally grateful that Cloud had "poisoned" Angeal and Genesis. Had he known then what he knew now…

"Things getting better or worse over there?" Angeal asked Zack, who was the only one with eyes and ears in Midgar since they'd defected.

"Reno says worse," Zack picked at his vegetables, "ShinRa's pretty much done for now. AVALANCHE took the documents we gave them and ran with it. Gaia, all the reactors are down and most all the councils' in hiding. Didn't realize how corrupt everything was until all the rats came out of their holes."

Genesis sighed, "Not how I imagined us leaving forever, but I must admit that all the commotion has left us largely out of the spotlight."

Zack pouted, "Yeah, still upset that you guys were gonna take off without me."

Angeal rolled his eyes, "I told you, it wasn't a real plan yet. It didn't really seem possible until Nibelheim. Do you know how alarming it was to get a letter from you two delivered by a turk? We thought they'd abducted you or worse."

Sephiroth chuckled, "We were lucky. It seems Reno knew more about Cloud's circumstances than we thought. I suppose we're lucky that he and Cloud had been close."

"I wouldn't say they were close," Zack objected, "I think they just had, I don't know, an understanding or something. I'm just glad we got to talk to Aerith back in Banora before going dark."

"Yes, her and her friend Rinna? Rifu?" Genesis shrugged, "Whatever. Doesn't really matter now, does it? We finally figured out Cloud Strife and he's not here to answer the rest of our questions."

The conversation shifted into a begrudging silence. The longer time went on, the more Sephiroth realized that their decision to open up their relationship to Zack had not been all that they needed. As much as he loved the way things were, he still felt the absence of the cadet that that vanished without a trace. They all did.

Angeal suddenly glared at Zack, "Eat your vegetables."

Zack whined, "I don't want to."

"Once you drink the antidote you'll have to actually take care of yourself. You know that right? Work twice as hard to stay just as strong, and eat healthy. The mako isn't gonna be there to make things easy anymore," Angeal lectured.

Zack smirked, "But until that day comes, I'm free to do whatever I want. Besides, Seph isn't eating his and he's gonna have the same problem soon."

Sephiroth pursed his lips as his plate was surveyed, "I was going to eat them later."

Genesis laughed, "A likely story, General."

"I'm no longer your general," Sephiroth pointed out, taking a small sip of wine.

"Bullshit," Zack retorted, "You're always gonna be our general."

It was one of those nights where you couldn't sleep if you tried. Sephiroth tossed and turned in their shared bed for an hour, feeling a nagging sensation thrum in his head every few minutes. He eventually wormed his way out of Angeal's arms and drew a coat onto his shoulders. A walk would do him good. The moon was full again, and the tide was out. He padded carefully around unbroken seashells and kelp vines. Sephiroth didn't stop walking until a figure in the distance made him curiously stop and squint.

It was a boy, or maybe a young man in blue. His hair was a soft gold in the white light, but what made Sephiroth's heart skip several beats was the incredibly familiar set of spikes that moved with the spring breeze. It took all his effort to walk over calmly, and every step granted him an even clearer vision of someone he'd loved and lost and longed for.

Cloud looked his way and smiled when they were several feet apart, as if he'd known that Sephiroth would come. Sephiroth wondered if he'd been summoned, if maybe they still had a connection.

"Hey," Cloud spoke, voice just as soft as Sephiroth remembered. The beach and Cloud felt unreal, like a dream. The older man said nothing, hoping the scene would shift to something less painful.

"Hey," Cloud tried again, "I swear, Seph. It's me. I'm real."

Sephiroth came closer, still disbelieving, and brought a palm up to cradle Cloud's cheek. The skin was soft and warm underneath his hand, and he watched as the paleness bloomed pink.

"Um," Cloud stuttered, immobilized.

All at once, Sephiroth knew his presence to be true, his life unended, and literally in his grasp. The ex-general pulled Cloud to his chest, willing away the fogginess of his vision in favor of taking in those spikes he knew so well. Cloud had immediately tensed, but slowly relaxed his body and returned the gesture. They waited for something.

"We thought you were gone forever," Sephiroth muttered into Cloud's hair, "We looked for you."

Cloud broke away from their embrace to look at Sephiroth properly, "I'm sorry. There was something I needed to do and it took all of me to do it. But, I found my way back. I'm sorry," he repeated, "I should've come sooner but travel is near impossible now, and my mom needed me for a while-"

"It's irrelevant," Sephiroth breathed, taking Cloud's hands, "You're here. But why?"

The ex-cadet visibly swallowed and shifted his eyes toward the water, "Uh, well. I just - I didn't know what to do after what happened at Nibelheim. My whole life had been about joining SOLDIER and helping the spirits, but both those roles ended at the reactor. When I thought about what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to be…"

Sephiroth waited patiently as Cloud gathered his courage.

"I just-" Cloud looked up at him again, "I can't stop missing you. All of you."

The silence that followed birthed a hope more impossible than seeing Cloud alive had ever been.

"I was wondering," Cloud took his hands back to fidget with them, "if maybe I could explain myself. Explain everything. Maybe, if you all could forgive me...Would there be space for someone else with you guys?"

Sephiroth chuckled in disbelief, "Cloud."

"What?" Cloud demanded, embarrassed and red, "Just say no if the answer is no!"

"We have a spot for you," Sephiroth soothed, "There was always a spot for you."

Cloud's eyes widened, as if he hadn't expected the answer to be yes and did not account for what he'd say next. Sephiroth took pity and asked, "As ecstatic as I am, and the others will be, to see you alive and well... I have to ask. How did you find us?"

Cloud smiled, "Aerith and Reno. Aer told me that she already filled you guys in on what happened and why I did what I did, but I feel like that's not enough. Do you think the others will listen?"

Sephiroth sat where he stood, the sand still warm from the late evening sun, and gestured beside him, "We'll see. She told us a fantastical story back in Banora."

Cloud smiled and sat down, "Yeah, she said your reactions were worth recording."

A comfortable silence fell between them as they gazed out at the water. Jenova was defeated but the world was a mess, and it would take decades of care and innovation to sustainably do what they'd done for so long. It would take even longer to fix Midgar, which had a shaky leadership and distrustful citizens. But Cloud was no longer a divine errand-boy, so the mess wasn't his to fix. He thought he'd jump at the chance to be a hero, but now, looking out at a coastline he'd never seen before, Cloud realized that heroism was nothing without a home to come back to - people to come back to. It's why he'd willingly put himself in harm's way, all this time, for the four men he'd come to love. Even if he could go back in time, to that moment in the reactor, he wouldn't change a thing.

"At the end there," Cloud recalled, "it looked like Jenova was gonna win. I know it wasn't what I said that got through to you, in the end. What kind of weapon did the Great General Sephiroth have to ward her off?"

Sephiroth hummed, "It wasn't really a weapon, but now I consider it to be. Something so simple that I never thought would turn the tides of battle for me."

Cloud's teasing smile morphed into a considering frown, "What was it?"

Sephiroth looked at him, his eyes no longer neon-gleaming but soft and sharp.

"My inner voice."

A/N: It's been a minute, but hey look the end is here! I sincerely hope all of you feel satisfied with the ending of the story. I wrestled with the outcome the entire time I was writing this fic. What started as a way to make we write regularly turned into a crazy adventure. Those of you who've been with me since the start, 2015, and stuck around - I love y'all so much. It literally took me years to complete this, and it was my very first fic, too. I've had to reread many of my first chapters and, oh man, they're not tidy. So, before I cross-post this into AO3, I'm going to go back and "remaster" IV. If anyone's interested in being a retroactive beta, please let me know! I'm primarily looking for help with surface errors and awkward phrasing, so don't worry! The story line will stay as is.

Thank you all for helping me become a better writer and encouraging me during my lulls. I'm going to continue writing ff, but they'll be much, much shorter stories. I hope to see you again!

Love,

RMB