Sorry Dev, you're going to have to wait till Thursay for me to fulfill your Zarter needs. A second chapter of this will also be posted Thursday.

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Knock, knock.

I looked up from my scroll. Who in the world would be at my door at this hour? It was midnight! I wasn't even supposed to be up. Carter had told me to go to bed during sword class because I hadn't been looking too good. I didn't feel too good either, but that didn't mean I wasn't pissed. I knew he was trying to help, but between him and Sadie I was never going to learn magic. Even when I didn't speak and stayed in the back, they still tried to baby me. This had been going on for weeks since we got back from Ra and I was getting sick of it.

"Come in," I called, realizing I hadn't answered yet.

"Hullo."

I jumped sky high. Sadie was standing in my door, looking at me with her arms crossed. I swallowed hard. She looked ready to chew me out. My mind raced. I didn't think I'd done anything worth being in trouble…

Oh, man, she looks bad, I realized.

She was obviously exhausted. She'd changed out of her linens into her normal skinny jeans and tee-shirt combo. Her hair was loose and dyed brilliant scarlet down the left side, but despite being in her own clothes, they seemed to fit her more loosely than before. Without her makeup and her boots and wearing jeans, she looked lean and small. The sleepless circles under her eyes made me cringe in sympathy.

"May I come in?" she prompted.

"Err, yeah, of course." I moved over so she could sit down. "What's up?" I asked.

She glided over at plopped down next to me. "I couldn't sleep," she admitted.

I wanted to tell her it was pretty obvious she hadn't been able to sleep for a while, but that would've been rude. And besides, Sadie had never come into my room before. I cringed again when I realized I needed to tidy up. A messy room wasn't the first impression I wanted her to have of my space.

"I came to see how you were feeling-"Sadie started. Immediately my happiness at having her in here disappeared. Of course. She was here to baby me, not to talk with me. Anger sparked in my head.

"Shut up."

The venom in my voice surprised even me. Sadie tried to shift away in surprise but I caught her wrist, not letting her break eye contact with me.

"I'm getting tired of this! You and Carter have to stop trying to baby me! I am fine and I'm here to learn magic, so I'd like to actually be able to learn! Please just stop trying to help! I don't need your help-!" I hadn't realized I was shouting at her until she jerked away, her eyes full of tears.

"Oh man, Sadie. Gods, I'm so sorry," I said weakly, watching her try to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. I felt like an asshole, making her cry.

"I'm sorry to bother you," Sadie said, her voice cracking. "I will stop trying to help."

"Sadie, please, I didn't mean that," I said weakly, reaching to take her hand. She jerked away as if I'd burned her. Her tears hardened into anger.

"Sure you didn't," Sadie said. "Nobody ever means to yell." She got up and walked out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt so awful, and it wasn't from the curse.

This is not how I wanted to die, I thought weakly. If my obligatory reads 'killed for trying to apologize for being an ass' I'm going to have to reincarnate myself so I can die again of embarrassment.

I was standing outside of Sadie's room, trying to talk myself into not chickening out. I couldn't just leave it at that, her running out of my room in tears.

On the other hand-

"Man, are you going to talk to her, or just stand out here all night?"

I whirled. Carter was standing next to me in his pajamas, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. I could feel my face heating up.

"I-err…"

"Yeah, that'll get her to forgive you," Carter snorted. "What is she forgiving you for anyway? What'd you do?"

I gulped. Carter was a pretty cool guy, but I knew he'd behead me without a second thought if I hurt his sister. I wasn't sure if making her cry would justify in his book as grounds for murder.

"I-she came in and-well-"

His eyes turned hard.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"I didn't-she came in to see how I was-it was an accident-I didn't mean to yell at her!"

"You yelled at Sadie?" he said in shock.

"I didn't mean to," I said earnestly. "I was just stressed-"

"Yeah, well, so are we. We have to save the world again," Carter said. Suddenly he sounded so much older than fifteen. I felt a pang of sympathy and guilt for him. Of course he and Sadie were stressed too.

"I'm sorry, man," I apologized sincerely.

"Don't apologize to me, go apologize to Sadie. You hurt her feelings, not mine."

I nodded meekly. Carter slipped back into his room, oblivious to my mounting guilt.

I took a deep breath and knocked on Sadie's door.

"Go away!"

"Not happening."

"Get lost!"

I sighed guilty. She sounded like she'd been crying.

The door handle was cold as I turned it, opening the door slowly.

Her room was immaculate. Every single object she owned was placed with perfect precision and symmetry. Even her bed was made, not a single wrinkle on the covers.

She's got to be OCD or something, I thought.

The only thing missing in Sadie's room was…Sadie. I didn't see her anywhere. But I knew she was in here; I'd heard her talk though the door.

"Sadie, c'mon, where are you?" I called, walking around. The door to her bathroom was open, sparing me from having to open it and look for her in there. I opened her closet, feeling stupid. She wasn't in there.

I looked around her room. Surely she wouldn't jump off the balcony to avoid seeing me? I sat on the bed, burying my head in my hands.

"Gods, I messed up," I muttered.

A sniffled caught my ear.

Surely she's not…?

I lay on my stomach, looking under the bed.

Sadie was curled in a ball in the corner, under her bed. I blinked in surprise.

"I said-I said get lost!" she stammered weakly.

"Why are you hiding under the bed?"

"Why are you so annoying?" she sniffled.

I held out my hand for her. "Come on, get out from there. I want to talk to you."

"Come to yell some more?" Sadie mumbled miserably. Guilt flooded my mind when I saw her tears, streaming down her cheeks. She rubbed her eyes hard and glared at me when she caught me staring.

"Go away!"

I sighed and slid off the bed. Sadie was right at the corner of the bed. I sat on the floor and belly-crawled under the bed. Sadie squeaked jumped, hitting her head on the wall.

"What are you doing?!"

I wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her out from under the bed. She kicked and squirmed, trying to get me to let her go.

"Walt!"

"I am apologizing to you whether you want to accept it or not!"`

She growled and bit at my hand vehemently. I almost dropped her.

"Fine you little pest!" I growled, throwing her over my shoulder. She squirmed and kicked with a vengeance, but holding her down was almost easy. I sat on the bed and locked my arms around her, letting her twist and thrash all she wanted, but not letting her out of my lap.

Finally she gave up and slumped into my chest, panting softly.

"Done?"

She gave me a look that clearly said I could just go jump off her balcony if I wanted to.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," I apologized sincerely.

"Well I'm not sorry for biting you or kicking you," she said irritably.

"Don't worry, it didn't hurt," I said, just to aggravate her. Her eyes flashed and for a second I thought she was going to Hi-di me into next week, but she just crossed her arms and blew a piece of loose hair out of her face.

"Fine, I heard your apology. Are you done now?"

I sighed. She was obviously still ready to strangle me. If I left now, I might live, but I didn't want her going to bed angry and plotting my demise in the morning.

I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed, hugging her to me. She sighed and glared, but with less I-want-to-rip-your-head-off-ness than she had before, so that was progress. I waited until she gave up and relaxed into me before kissing her cheek. Her entire face lit up in a blush so bright I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

"Oh, shut it," Sadie snapped, seeing me holding back my laughter.

"My apologize," I said, trying to sound sincere.

She was quiet for a while, looking off. I stayed silent, letting her think.

"Walt?"

"Hm?"

"What do you want?" she asked softly.

I looked at her. Her tone was sincere and there was no hint of her normal temper. She looked morbid and lonely. Her blue eyes were so piercing I knew this was not a light question. She would take my answer to heart.

I thought. There was the obvious answer: I wanted to not be dying. But I didn't think she was looking for an answer so simple. Anyone in my position would want to not be dying. What did I want? I wanted to see Seattle again, to have my mom fussing over me one more time. I wanted to apologize for storming out like I did. I wanted to have been able to meet my dad. I wanted the recruits to stop looking at me like they expected me to spontaneously drop dead at any moment. I wanted that asshole Anubis to stop asking me the same question every night. I wanted Sadie to stop pushing herself so hard because her thin shoulders couldn't bear the weight of the world and she needed to realize that.

I couldn't get any of these words past my lips.

"What do you want, Sadie?"

She looked at me in surprise. "What should it matter what I want?"

I frowned. "Of course what you want matters."

She looked at me. "Walt, it's lame."

I almost told her that her opinion wasn't lame and even if it was, it can't be worse than me wanting to be fussed over by my mom.

"Trust me, I won't think It's dumb," I assured her.

She took a deep breath. "I want to see my mom again and talk with her about stupid things. I want to spend another day as a regular girl and hang out with Liz and Emma, who have probably replaced me by now. I want to go back in time to all those Christmas eve's that I spent looking out the window, watching for the taxi that would have dad and Carter in it. I want to go back to London and stand in the rain and forget that the world is ending and that I have to save it. I want Carter to pay attention to me because ever since Zia got back he hasn't had the time of day for me. I want to scream and cry and beg my dad to forgive me because the last thing I ever told him was that I hated him. I want you not to be dying and I just-I-nobody cared and it doesn't m-matter-" she buried her face in her hands and started shaking. It took me a minute to realize that she was crying her heart out in her hands and that she'd probably been bottling this up for the past six months.

Eventually my brain started to work again and yelled: comfort her, stupid! I wrapped my arms around her and pet her hair in what I hoped was a comforting manner. She leaned on me and wept into my shirt and I thought I was going to die from sympathy.

I don't know how long she cried, but after a while, her tears turned to hiccups. Her whole body was shaking.

"I'm-hic-sorry," she hiccupped, trying to pull away.

"There's nothing to apologize for," I assured her, not letting her out of my embrace.

"I'm pathetic," she muttered, trying again to squirm away. I sighed and let her go. "You aren't pathetic."

She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Sadie."

She pushed me away, still looking miserable and embarrassed. I let her go and kissed her forehead gently. I thought she might start crying again.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," I said sincerely.

"It's fine," Sadie muttered. "No blood no foul, I suppose."

I frowned. She really did seem like she wanted to be left alone, but I didn't feel like leaving her in this state would be very gentlemanly-in fact, my mother would skin me if she ever found out I considered doing something like that.

"Do you think, maybe, I could take you to London tomorrow?"

I don't know who was more surprised, her or me, because I had meant to ask her if she missed London.

Sadie just stared at me for a few minutes and I stared at the wall, wishing I could drop dead.

"…I'd love that," Sadie finally said.

I looked over. Her cheeks were bright red and she refused to meet my eyes, but the corners of her mouth her twitching in a smile.

Well, I guess I'm going to London, I thought weakly.