Disclaimer: Mass Effect and Naruto are property of Bioware and Masashi Kishimoto respectfully. I also don't own any lines from movies I may use or ideas from books, games ect. I make no profit of this and due this out of enjoyment.

(A/N) This was inspired by NeonZangetsu's 'Fly in the Ointment' and ManMadeofLasers' 'Getting Too Old For This', as well as several other stories. They are all exceptional stories and authors to boot. My only hope is that my stories can match up, and entertain as well as theirs.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

Alien Language.

Chapter 1: A Lion, Spectre and Butcher oh my!

Eden Prime was in one word...Beautiful. It had rolling hills, sprawling fields and rocky mountain ranges, it was much like Earth in that respect. Just without the social media and political bullshit, probably why a retired Mercenary/Soldier like Naruto Uzumaki chose it for retirement.

Naruto came to Eden Prime for some R&R, he was retired and was well off in the way of credits. All he wanted was to hunker down somewhere nice for the rest of his years, for however long they may be. When he found out there was a dig-site he offered to help, with his multiple degrees he was eagerly accepted.

Naruto was a 6'2 man with a mop of spiky blond locks, sticking every which way. His eyes were a bright crystal blue that appeared to glow in the right light, and had a mischievous glint in them. He wore the signature attire of a scientist, the white formfitting top, pants and boot to match. On the back of his left hip was a white pouch, on his right was a sidearm attached via mag clip.

He was reviewing some tests when he noticed someone's presence behind him. Not turn away from the Data pad he addressed them.

"How can I help you?" The blond asked.

"This is Dog Squad, of the Military Alliance Unit 212. They have been assigned as the guard for your dig-site." The dark-skinned soldier stated.

"Not my dig, I'm just helping." Naruto stated, "But you lot can set a perimeter around it, if you're so inclined."

The Lieutenant, the silver bar was a hint, nodded and relayed orders to the Soldiers lined up behind him. "Your squad will be guarding this site. Is that clear?"

"Sir Yes Sir!" They replied as one.

"Good. Sergeant Donkey, you will be the leader." The Lieutenant order toward the blond man, after surveying them a moment. "Donkey, Rasputin, Pennyloafer, Bates Take the new recruit and form a perimeter. Gunnery Chief stay,"

Naruto notice how the Lieutenant said the last part more coldly then the rest, and how he said 'stay' as if speaking to a dog. The Gunnery Chief must have as well, if the glare was anything to go off of.

"Your 'friends' might not see it, but I do. You can't escape your past, Williams!" Lieutenant Pencil-Stache, as Naruto will forever call him, growled out.

"Whatever you say, Sir." Williams returned with equal malice on the sir.

"I just di-" "That explains it." Naruto interrupted Pencil-stache.

"W-what?" The Lieutenant looked surprised at his interruption. Williams herself looked quite surprised.

"That's quite enough." Naruto turned fully around, putting down the Data pad and pulling out a cigarette. "I see now, why you elected for a soldier of lesser rank to lead the squad."

Naruto lit the cigarette and took a drag, he exhaled and held the death stick between his middle and ring fingers of his left hand. "At first I thought you were victim of retardation, like most of the leading brass of the Alliance. But now I know you just hold a resentment to better men and woman, then yourself." Naruto gestured to the Gunnery Chief on the last part.

"Oh and what would you know about the subject!" Pencil-Stashe shouted as he stepped away from Williams, who looked stunned and wide-eyed, into Naruto's face.

"One, get out of my face before I make you swallow your teeth." Naruto glared making Pencil-Stache step back in fright. "Two, I was a 1st Lieutenant under George Williams during Shanix. So my knowledge of the subject comes from first hand experience." Both the Lieutenant and Gunnery Chief were wide-eyed at that information.

"General Williams didn't surrender out of cowardice, he saved lives. No matter what you or your Alliance thinks, he will forever be a hero to me. If he didn't surrender more lives and property damage would have been a result." Naruto towered over the shaking Lieutenant, "And If you harass Gunnery Chief Williams again over her grandfather's honorable sacrifice, I will personally have your rank stripped and you shipped off to Gagarin Station." Pencil-Stache looked ready to cry, being sent to a research station without a purpose like 'Jump-Zero' was a career end-er.

The frightened Lieutenant quickly scrambled off, Naruto took another drag from his cig as he watch him leave. "Pussy."

Hearing a unladylike snort, Naruto turned to his left to look at Williams. She stood there, in the distinct pink and white color of Phoenix armor, with a questioning look on her face. This was the first actual look he got of her, being preoccupied by Pencil-Stache.

She had her brown hair in a tight bun, which was positioned firmly on the back of her head. She had tan-skin and wore no make up, not that she needed it. She also had an amazing figure, detailed by the outdated armor.

"So?" "Ashley, Sir" She answered his unasked question. She attempted to salute but was stopped by a raised hand.

"Hey no need, I'm retired." He quickly stopped her, "Go help your squad, they need an actual leader." He waved her off, as he flicked the ashes from the tip of his cigarette.

"Thank you, Sir. For standing up for my name." She looked down slightly. She was a very proud woman, but was fed up with the mistreatment.

"Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto. Now go enjoy this beautiful planet Ashley." He said smiling, returning his attention to the Data. He couldn't have guessed the catastrophe that would take place 2 days later.

Naruto had just stepped out of his small apartment with a cup of coffee to start his day. He held the coffee and a cig in his left hand, while a Data pad occupied his right. He took a sip of his Coffee and a drag from his cig.

A beautiful day, sun shining, nice breeze. It was a nice quite day, but with that right there he jinxed himself, he was content with life. Then out of the blue, literally...out of the fuck'n blue sky, a massive...ship descended. It floated a couple hundred miles of the surface, and for a moment all was calm. It was like the eye of the storm, the silence before an atomic bomb detonates . The ship, that looked as if a Cuttlefish and a Geth had a child (Shiver), opened its arms and swarms of Geth cruisers, and Geth shock troopers fell to the crust below.

"Well, aint that lovely" 'Geth out side the Perseus Veil for the first time in centuries-, he looked at the shitty sidearm, -and I didn't even have a decent piece. At least it isn't a Thresher Maw nest, been there done that. Not fun.'

Exhaling the smoke and finishing off his coffee, he dropped his cup in the trash. ' Can't be a litter bug, now can we. Got enough problems we do.' He grabbed his HMWP III Basic pistol, and walked back inside. He needed more coffee...and some grenades.

Commander Jane Shepard, Lioness of Elysium and praised War Hero, stood aboard the SSV Normandy SR-1 in the cargo hold preparing to drop. It was a new Human-Turian stealth vessel on a shakedown run from Arcturus to Eden Prime. Or that's what they said anyway, they were really recovering a Prothean beacon unearthed on the planet. And they had a Turian Specture to review her on the chance to gain the same title.

But it all went to hell when they received a distress call from the planet. Now they were going in guns blazing in the hopes to save the colony.

She had a bad feeling about this.

Ashley Williams was a strong willed woman, proud and self-reliant. She also like life, and at this very moment thought she was going to lose it.

She and her squad was on patrol the outskirts of the colony, which they had no reason for, Donkey was using this to try and get into her pants. When the Fire Nat-ah Geth Attacked, he had them split in to groups. She and Penny, Rasputin and Bates and Donkey had the new kid.

His plan was for his group to be a distraction, while Ras and Bates flanked around and Pen and herself provided support. Not a bad plan, it even might of worked against Batarians or Turians. But they weren't, they were against Geth, and shock tactics were useless against them.

As Donkey rushed forward he soon found out. The Geth, unlike what organics would have done, didn't

freeze up. They instantly fired. Donkey was down before he could take another step, the rookie followed shortly after.

Ras as well as Bates swiftly fired from cover, and soon were held down by suppressing fire. Ashley quickly took command and ordered a retreat, they would have been quickly over run otherwise.

After retreating, to a safe distance, Ashley developed an ambush for the Geth following them. Which quickly failed as well, the Geth didn't respond like an organic so tactics without power and numbers wouldn't work.

Ashley and Penny, as Ras and Bates had fallen in the failed ambush, fell back towards the dig-site. In the hope that they could get civilians to safety, seeing as they couldn't out right beat the attack force.

They reached the site rather quickly, considering they had to skirt around Geth patrols, and were swooped down upon by Geth just as quickly.

And now here she was 2 troopers directly in front of her, 3 behind them, held them at gun point. ' Wont even get to see my Sister again... or Naruto.' She thought somberly. But just before they fired, a shot blew through the front of the second closest Geth's head. The shot bounced of its rifle and lodged into the head of the Geth in front of it, both Geth dropped as the last three turned towards the shot's origins.

Naruto had gotten equipped, rather shabbily but quickly enough. He made a trip to the Military Outpost that wasn't that far from his apartment. He got past the locked door rather easily, he had a laugh that the pass-code was 'Password', and took what gear was there.

He was wearing Red-Sleeved Medium Onyx Armor, Stander issue for N7 Operatives , without the helmet. On his back was a HMWA Basic IV Assault Rifle, in his hands was a HMWSR Master VII Sniper Rifle. He also had a pouch on each hip, a Tanto in place of a Shotgun and a Combat Knife strapped to his right boot.

After his equipment run he started toward the dig, taking out every Geth patrol he ran into along the way. Which were quite a few actually, they seem to be occupying the area with the most people. He could hear screaming and cries of help, they weren't securing the beacon! They were killing every inhabitant. It was uncalled for, a simple scare tactic used to break moral and crush opposition.

Arriving at the crest of a hill just before the dig-site, a perfect sniper position, he surveyed the area. 5 Geth troopers were sweeping the area, looking for any survivors was his guess, 2 head of the other 3. Lining up a shot he was about to fire when out of the forest came a familiar set of Phoenix Armor, right between the two groups of Geth.

'Well, Fuck.' Were his thoughts as the Geth rose their rifles. Re-positioning his shot to go threw the left Geth, ricochet off its rifle and hit the Geth on the right, he fired. His rifle barked and the Geth dropped, he swung to the right and lined up his second shot. He shot a second time, shredded through the 'eye' of the first Geth, the chest of the second and the rifle of the last.

Naruto placed the Sniper on his left shoulder and jumped off the hill crest, walked towards the weaponless Geth. As he approached the last trooper he casually pulled his sidearm and fired, the Geth fell back absent a head. Looking towards the wide-eyed soldiers, he pulled out a cig and lit it up.

"Can't stay out of trouble can you, Ash?" He said as he scanned the area for hostiles, noticing large purple mechanical spikes. Some having people on them, impaled through the chest.

"I-I, Thank you. Naruto." She said smiling at him and walking forward. But was stopped as he raised a hand and walked towards a purple spike.

"Yeah, no problem." He said as he ran his Omni-tool over the object. Frowning at the strange readings he received, he repeated the process on one that had someone on it.

"Hhmm." He would need to further study this, unfortunately he didn't have time. Looking at the empty dig-site, then back at Ash. "Do you know if your unit moved the beacon?"

"No, we were attacking a Geth squad, and Coms are down. So no one received orders." She said, another female soldier walking up beside her.

"Are you all that's left?" He asked sullenly, getting a nod from both of them. "My condolences, it's hard loosing a squad mate. But all you can do is fight on." He placed his left hand on her left shoulder, smiling lightly at her.

He looked up sharply, gaining the attention of both women. He looked toward the forest, placing the cigarette in his mouth as his rifle seemed to appear in his hands. He shoved Ash into cover and she pulled Penny, as he watched the forest.

Stepping out of the forest were two figures, clearly Alliance by their armor. The one to the front was female with the same armor as himself, making her a N-7. The one trailing slightly behind was in Onyx armor as well, just without the N-7 emblem or red-sleeve.

Seeing that it was no threat he placed his rifle on his back and resumed his study of the spike. Getting some very strange readings that kept changing. Ashley was explaining to Shepard, and Kaiden, the situation. He gave a halfhearted wave when they looked at him during her introduction. Penny had decided to split her attention between watching him, Ashley and scanning for anymore danger.

As he scanned it for the fifth time the results spiked and then leveled there. He was about to scan it again when the spike shuttered, and then began to descend. Naruto stepped back as the Zombie-cyborg thing fell to the ground, it quickly rose up and lunged.

Naruto faintly aware of the group behind him readying their rifles, grabbed the things left arm and twisted it harshly behind its back. He kicked its knee, forcing it to the ground, and ran his Omni-tool over it.

"Hhmm," He shook his head at the results he received, he turned of his Omni-tool and turned his attention back to the thing. Switching his hold to its forearm, he torqued it up and towards its head as he stomped down on its neck. The things shoulder snapped as well as its neck, he then gripped its bicep with his free hand and snapped its elbow.

Standing up he noticed it attempting to get up, he quickly brought up his pistol stepped on its back and shot it 4 times in the head. He took a drag of his cig before letting it fall from his lips, he turned toward the surprised faces of the group behind him.

"The spikes appear to replace organic tissue with synthetic components. It seems to inject a type of nano-machine that quickly attaches to every cell in the body. These nanites meld with the cells changing them in an instant, then through a signal the body is used like a puppet. They are no longer human or alive for that matter. They also seem to absorb damage rather well." He quickly explained his findings to the wide-eyed group.

"Well that's a lot to take in, lets leave that for some other time. We need to get that beacon." Shepard said as they headed towards the ports.

"I'll head up first to clean up any Geth troopers I missed on the way here. I'll give you constant updates and keep radio contact." Naruto said as he ran forward at a speed an Olympic runner would envy.

Reaching a hill over looking the port he lay prone, observing the activity below him. Geth were everywhere, loading canisters onto rail-cart. A Turian, that seemed familiar, stood watching them. the Geth quickly got aboard as they finished and disappeared as the cart shot off. The First Turian was joined by another, this was intriguing and stating to look bad. He activated the video feed on his Omni-tool, it wouldn't be the best picture from this distance but it would be enough.

"Shepard, I reached the port and witness the bi-pedal flashlights load large crates into a cart. They were being over seen by a Turian, then one matching your description of Nihilus showed up. He seems to trust him, or is retarded, he just turned his back to him." Naruto spoke over the Com. Seeing the somewhat familiar Turian reaching for his pistol as Nihilus was still turned, he reached for his sniper.

"Welcome ladies and gentleman, to the Nihilus School of getting shot." He mumbled.

He lined up his shot, this was farther away the his others and he didn't have time to calculate the wind speed, bullet drop or planetary spin. He quickly guessed and pulled the trigger, the noise startled both Turians. They both turned and the bullet hit the hostile one's shoulder, he still fire but Naruto's shot coupled with Nihilus turning made the shot clip him. Nihilus gripped his bleeding face before rushing Saren, engaging in a fierce hand-to-hand fight.

"Oh come on!" Naruto shouted exasperatedly as his rifle seemed to take longer to cool, a simple illusion induced by stress he hoped. He raised his sights again, his rifle being ready to fire, and lining up with the traitor. His head being hidden by crates, Naruto aimed for the next best thing. His rifle barked again and a second round bit into the Turian's metalic shoulder, blowing it off.

Looking over to his right he noticed Shepard and the group had arrived, and were headed to the unconscious Nihilus. He placed the Sniper on his back and headed towards them.

Naruto arrived as they were deciding who would take Nihilus and head back to the Normandy. Naruto volunteered himself, picking up the Turian and headed of to the Normandy.

"I'd wish you all luck, but luck is for the lonely." Naruto smiled at Ashely who rolled her eyes.

On the Normandy Naruto had briefed Anderson and was currently helping his new friend Karin Chakwas.

"So Doc, how is Bird-man?" Naruto asked from his position, at a desk synthesizing Turian compatible blood replenishing agent.

"He's fine, stable but in a coma. He as a few bruises and cuts." Karin said as she checked him over.

"He got shot in the face, and had his head used to knock out the dents in some metal crates. I'm surprised he's alive." Naruto looked at her blankly, getting a smile from her.

"Oh hush you. Now make yourself useful." She tried looking stern, the smile threatening to appear foiled that.

Naruto smiled as he took his new formula, TBR-1, and loaded it into his Jet Injector. Walking over to Nihilus he took hold of the Turian's arm and injected the blue liquid, right into the vein. Nihilus shuddered, but quickly returned to normal and Naruto nodded at his work.

"Well, he should be fine and if you need any help at all I'll be in the Cargo Hold." He said over he shoulder as he walked out the door.

Naruto had set up shop by the workbench next to the equipment lockers, in the Cargo Hold. He had found a way to get a second shot out of his Sniper Rifle before it overheated. He just adjusted its heat sink and the general heat output as well as manipulate the mass accelerator so it had better penetration. He was working on his Assault Rifle when he heard someone approach, by the gait in their step and how loud it was he'd say it was a woman. Turning, after he set his gyro-wrench down, he saw Ashley in civies.

"What's up Ash?" Naruto asked with his foxy grin.

"We're back, but the Beacon did something to the Commander." She said looking down.

"Hey don't go all mopey, let's go see if she's alright." He said soothingly as he put a his hand on her shoulder. She nodded and the headed towards the elevator. Naruto and Ash stood in comfortable silence , then Naruto sighed "I'm going to make this thing faster when we have time."

Ashley simply smiled as she shook her head.

Arriving at the Med Bay, Naruto walked over to Shepard's bed. Scanning her he noticed nothing was wrong, turning to Dr. Chakwas in question.

"The only thing I noticed was rapid eye movement, theorizing intense dreaming." She shrugged.

"Actually that makes perfect sense." Naruto said.

"How so?" Ashley asked staring at the prone form of Shepard.

"See I had a chance to scan and study the beacon before the attack. I didn't find much in such a short amount of time, but what I did find is what the beacon was fo-" Naruto was interrupted by Jane's sudden entry to consciousness.

Naruto turned and got his first actual look at Shepard. She had her beautiful vibrant red hair in a shaggy pixie cut with most of her bangs swept over her right eye, only two were on her face one touching her nose and the other between her eyes. Her nose was perfect, wasn't too small nor big. Her eyes were a amazing emerald and sparkled with live, and her smooth alabaster skin and detailed eyebrows enhanced her previously mentioned features. All in all she was looked perfect, almost painfully so.

She had woken with a start, rising up in alarm from her bed. Naruto shot forward to steady her, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling down at her.

"Whoa, it's all right. Your among friends now." He spoke soothingly, patting her shoulder. She looked up at him and blinked.

"W-what happened?" She asked as she sit up, flinching slightly at her bodies stiffness.

"You were out for about 15 hours. How are you feeling?" Chakwas asked as she had her arms crossed.

"I'm fine, a bit of a head-ache but fine." The redhead said as she held her head in a hand.

She stood up as the doors opened and Anderson walked in nodding at Naruto and standing in front of her.

"Shepard, how are you feeling?"

"Good, all things considered."

"Glad to hear it. Now, what happened with the beacon?"

Shepard explained everything up to and including the beacon. Making remarks on Naruto's marksman skills, and Ashley's skills in general. She also made a point to mention Jenkins and his untimely demise .

"We have to tell the Council, Saren needs to answer for his crimes." Anderson spoke after she finished.

"Yeah, lets go tell the Council that one of their top dogs is a traitor. Lets see what they do about complaints from a new race that their main military force hates. Sounds like a plan." Naruto said from his desk, were he made the TBR-1 at.

Anderson glared at him half-halfheartedly, knowing he was right but not liking it. Shepard herself looked a little frustrated, Ash just shrugged knowing it was true.

"Captain, Commander. We're 5 out from the Citadel." Joker said over the intercom.

Anderson, Shepard, Ashley and Naruto all exchanged looks then headed out the door and toward the Helm. This Council meeting wasn't going to be pleasant, and they all knew it, some better than others.

There it is, this is my take on the ME universe. Naruto is a mix of Bane, DeathStroke and DeadShot from Arkham origins. He will be a badass, which I'll progressively show more of as this goes on. His backstory will be slowly given via dialogue and such, he also is a Biotic but he'll not use it for a bit. Point out mistakes in a review and any questions you can PM me. Later.

{AN} I had a chapter 2 up but decided to take it down and redo it. It will be back up when I have the time to rewrite it.