A/N: Surprise! I'm back! I realize it has been a year since I updated this story. In fact I had completely lost hope in this story. But I am back, and will finish this fic. I'm writing a novel of my own right now and am making headway on multiple other fics. Thank you for patiently waiting, I haven't forgotten about my wonderful readers and I hope you continue reading.

- J.

Snape

He was scared.

To admit that horrifying, honest fact to himself was painful.

There was a reason he had kept his distance from people. And the few people he let into his life were merely acquaintances at best. Bohemian, though Snape considered him a friend, was nothing more than an acquaintance. Anything more than that meant he would care. Caring was a weakness. It could be used against a person. It could make a person frightened out of their very mind at the losses they could potentially experience.

This was the one sole reason Severus Snape avoided Lily Evans.

As he sat on that Hogwarts Express headed back for his sixth year at Hogwarts, he had realised with a blinding clarity that he in fact, was in love with Lily Evans. Lily Evans, the hot headed, lioness he had been blessed with kissing and caring for. The girl who had nagged him relentlessly for months to simply study together in the library. The girl who teased and smirked and sent playful smiles his way. They shared hot chocolate in the kitchens. And somehow, after vowing that he would merely let himself be casual friends with the Gryffindor, he had found himself admiring her more than anyone her had admired before. His heart had beat erratically when they shared those passionate kisses over the summer. He hadn't thought anything of it. They weren't at Hogwarts. There was no need to hide the smiles or the greetings or the hugs. And he had tempted fate.

Seeing Ara greet Lily with her dangerous eyes, with a tone that could eat a person alive, Snape realised he had gone too far with the girl. He had let himself go over his head. Lily was expecting their relationship to stay the same if not progress further, and as he watched the two trade words, Snape realised Lily would be eaten alive if Ara so much as suspected a romantic relationship.

His love for Lily had frightened him. And so when he snapped at her to leave the compartment, he hadn't spoken to her since.

And it had been a long two months of no speaking. No studying together and no sharing hot chocolate together in the kitchens, surrounded by the house elves eager to please. Ignoring her was a shard of ice to the heart. It hurt, but he knew that it would hurt worse if she were hurt because of him.

Severus Snape hung his head over his bowl of soup. He could feel her eyes. The green, gorgeous globes that begged for at least eye contact. It took an amazing amount of will power to give in, to turn to her and smirk.

"She's staring again," Bohemian observed. He sat across from Snape, in easy view of the girl. Snape sat with his back towards her table. It made the situation much, much easier.

"What's new?" he snapped.

Bohemian narrowed his eyes. "Girls usually like explanations."

Snape sneered at his friend. "Right, because you know so much about girls." He dropped his spoon back into his bowl and leaned towards the brown haired Slytherin. "Ara Black is not Lily Evans."

The Slytherin's cheeks were tinged with pink. Somehow, him and Ara Black had developed a relationship of sorts and Snape was surprised to say the least if not in shock. And he was to blame. He had taken up Ara's offer of her little dark art club and had dragged Bohemian along with him. Now, Bohemian had fallen directly into her lap and she into his. It was disgusting.

"I still can't believe you two are a thing," Snape hissed.

Bohemian shrugged, unbothered. "May I point out that it was you who dragged me along."

"She extended the invite to you on the train."

"Still."

Snape ground his teeth together. "You two are turning into Regulus and Parkinson," he grumbled.

Bohemian sighed. "The only reason you are so deep into your pity party, Snape, is because you decided to stop talking to Evans again. That is entirely your fault. I've been telling you for weeks to talk to her, and at least explain."

Snape shook his head. "Lov...being," he corrected, "with her will but her into danger. Especially since I joined this forsaken club."

"Speaking of that…" Bohemian gathered his things. "Next meeting is in a few minutes. I'll meet you there?"

Snape cast one last glare at his soup bowl and decided that enduring Lily Evan's eyes on his back without someone to talk to, was essentially a death sentence. "I'll join you now."

The meetings were held in the dungeons, in an abandoned classroom. Every couple of weeks, the location was changed. However, this location had remained the same all month. It probably had something to do with the plush chairs a few of the members had dragged from the common room.

The desks had been pushed together to form a large square and the members were seated around it, idly chatting among each other, awaiting for the head of the club.

Calling it a club wasn't exactly favored among most of them, but it was agreed from the start that to keep it on the downlow, if it were ever mentioned among others, it was to be referred to as a club.

Snape had attended the first meeting with Bohemian, feeling extremely uncomfortable but had settled in quickly and found he looked forward to the meetings. They spoke of the dark arts usually, current politics, and pureblooded ideas.

Initially, Snape had felt guilty as he sat around that table alongside the others and contributed to the conversation. The members were wise enough to avoid any mention of Lily, and for that Snape was relieved and glad. It only made the meetings easier. As he continually returned, he found that many who attended were fond if not intrigued by the use of dark magic. And he threw himself into the conversations with vigor.

Most of the members were in seventh year. He recognized the brother of Lucius Malfoy, and a few others. Parkinson, Rakepick, Bohemian, and a few others from his own year were also seated around the table. In total, there were fourteen members. All able and willing to hold an intelligent conversation.

"Good evening," Ara drawled from her place at the table.

Bohemian nodded once in greeting and her face softened for a split second before maintaining her usual amused mask.

"Snape had been pleasant enough to provide us with this text…" Ara pulled out the Secrets of the Darkest Art, and set it upon the table with a thud.

Snape smirked and leaned forward, his enthusiasm barely contained. Tonight's meeting would be a good one.

Lily

"WORRY ABOUT CATCHING THE SNITCH, JAMES!"

Lily sighed and let her head fall against Sirius' shoulder. "They never stop," she grumbled.

Sirius shook with laughter but remained silent. Lily silently took pleasure in the warmth of his shoulder. She was upset most days. Hurt. Angry. The emotions that surged through her were faded, but still arose in a violent wave whenever she stole a glance at the Slytherin who had damaged her so.

She didn't understand. The summer had gone wonderfully. More than she had expected. But suddenly, Snape had pushed her away completely with no explanation. The last she had spoke to him was on the train back to Hogwarts and after she had left his compartment, he had not spoken a single word. Hadn't laid an eye on her. Avoided her completely and efficiently. Not only had he disappeared from her life completely, but he had been spending more and more time with Ara Black and the Slytherins she surrounded herself with.

Lily knew for certain that his distance had something to do with Sirius' wretched cousin. And more than once she had paced the dorm, ranting aloud to Macmillian and Doris as they watched on with sad eyes. More than once she had fought back the tears that threatened to fall as she studied in the library alone or with the boys she forced to come with her. James usually agreed to go to the library with her, and if he saw how wretched she was, he didn't comment. She was immensely grateful for that. In fact, he had been kinder to her since the start of the term.

Lily returned her attention to the sky, attempting to push the thoughts away. She had promised Macmillian she would try. She had been doing well, and now instead of constantly seeking him out to demand an explanation, Lily had settled for mere glances in his direction in the hall.

"Five galleons Macmillian wins," Lily offered with a smile.

Sirius snorted. "I have given up on all bets. She always wins."

Lily watched as the pair argued in the sky. A few moments later, the pair were descending from the sky, joining her and Sirius and the rest of the team on the stands.

"Practice is finished," Macmillian declared before taking off on her broom once again, headed back towards the castle.

"Do you always have to get her so riled up?" Lily asked James as he fell into step beside her and Sirius.

He grinned. "Never gets old."

Lily waited for the usual rage she would feel at his comment but felt none arise. She was empty. Heartbroken. She frowned. No. She couldn't let this get in her way. Couldn't let Snape hold control over her emotions any longer.

James turned around, brown hair sticking out every which way as he turned back to face Lily. "You alright, Lils?"

"James, I-" She paused and bit her lip. And then shook her head. "I'm perfectly fine," she assured him.

She took his arm and started towards the castle, feeling slightly lighter than before.

Later that evening, Lily lay on her bed, her head in Macmillian's lap as her blonde friend stroked her fingers through her hair.

"Another snake I suppose," she murmured to Lily. "I'm sorry I ever stuck up for him."

Lily ran an index finger along the quilt, enjoying the feel of the fabric. "Don't be," she told her. "I enjoyed his friendship. I know he did. I just hope that he comes around…" Macmillian stayed silent, opting to play with the red locks instead. "He was kind usually," Lily confessed. "He just doesn't know how to love."

Macmillian frowned down at her friend. "That is no excuse for the way he treated you."

"If I had never been loved, I'd be scared too," Lily said, tears pricking her eyes.

The pair sat in silence as the sobs wracked Lily's body. They sat together, bearing the wounds of friendship from someones who wasn't sure how a friendship worked. Lily understood then, he was scared. Frightened for her and for himself and she knew deep down, past the anger she held whenever she thought of him, that he was not to blame. He was simply keeping himself, and her safe in the twisted way he knew how.

She could only hope he would come to his senses.

And she hoped it wasn't too long of a wait.