Helping Hand

By Carol M

Spoilers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I found this on my computer the other night, so I decided to polish it up and post it! Hope you enjoy!

Natasha pressed her nose against the two-way glass of the operating room in nearly the same spot she had done so days earlier when she had watched Nick Fury "die." Now it was Steve she was worrying over as the doctors worked to plug up the bloody holes in his body from his fight on the helicarrier. Even though there was little chance of Steve dying, it was still no joy to watch her colleague, her friend, endure such trauma. Especially someone who had already suffered so much. They had found Steve on the shore, shivering and choking on water, muttering Bucky's name over and over again as blood oozed out of the multitude of gunshots the super soldier had received trying to stop his old pal. The bruises on Steve's face spoke to the serious beating he had also taken from his former friend.

She knew the feeling of betrayal. It was a given in their line of work. People switched teams and loyalties all the time, and it was never easy when a former friend became a current enemy. She supposed it was even more difficult for Steve, who saw things so black and white. Not to mention the fact that Bucky had been Steve's best friend growing up. His only friend really, from what Natasha could discern. Now in this time, in this place, he really, truly had no one. Not even Bucky. The one person he treasured the most in the world had just been the one to nearly kill him. Her heart broke a little bit for Steve. That couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow.

Fury joined her at the window, his face softening as one of the nurses exposed the bullet wound in Steve's leg. "Cap nearly got his fool head turned into Swiss cheese. So much for childhood friends."

Natasha nodded silently, wincing as the doctor began to paw at the wound with a pair of forceps, searching for the bullet lodged inside Steve's leg. Steve's body jumped and his eyes blinked open, his face collapsing into an agonizing grimace of pain. Natasha's heart thrummed in absolute horror. "Oh my god, he's awake!" Natasha pounded on the glass, pointing at Steve's head. "He's awake!"

Fury grabbed her arm, easing it down. "Easy Romanoff, everything is under control."

"What are you talking about? He's up, he's aware! He can feel everything they're doing to him!"

Fury sighed and squared his shoulders as if bracing himself to deliver bad news. "Pain meds don't work on the Captain. Neither does sedation. His body metabolizes the chemicals too quickly. There's nothing they can do."

"You mean he has to feel all that? Them poking and prodding and tearing his body apart?"

Fury exhaled loudly and backed away from the glass panel. "Everything comes with a price, Agent Romanoff."

Steve let out a moan audible even through the glass as the doctor continued to dig through muscle and tendon for the bullet. The super soldier turned his head towards her and their eyes met. She was chilled at the tortured expression reflecting back at her. She realized that whatever shock his body had been in when they found him on the shore no longer applied. Steve was completely alert and aware of what was happening to him and that knowledge made her feel nauseous and hollowed out inside. It wasn't right. There had to be something they could do for him.

"Yeah well, that's too expensive for my taste." Before Fury could stop her, Natasha bolted towards the door marked personnel only, hell bent on doing anything she could to help ease Steve's pain. It was the least she could do. The man had saved her life and the lives of countless others over the past few days. Now he was the one that needed a little saving. If his best friend couldn't be there to put him back together again, she would just have to do.

"Agent Romanoff…Natasha," Fury called after her, but did not follow.

Natasha marched right past a security guard posted at the OR doors and crashed the party.

"You can't be in here," the doctor said, pausing in his ministrations that were causing Steve to inhale and exhale so loudly she thought he was in labor.

"Don't mind me, " she said, grabbing a pair of gloves and some scrubs as she approached Steve's side. "I'm just here to help out a friend."

Steve peered up at her, his swollen face looking young and fragile. Vulnerable. She usually thought of him as her older brother, but today he was more like the baby brother "What…are you doing…in here?" he muttered, the words taking nearly everything out of him.

She put on the gloves and scrubs and then put a reassuring hand on his quaking shoulder. "Couldn't let you have all the fun by yourself now, could I?"

"I'm good. I can handle it." Steve managed, his breath ragged and thready.

Natasha gently squeezed his arm. "I know you can. But you don't have to. Not by yourself."

The doctor pulled out the first bullet and Steve winced hard, a stray tear falling down his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed deeply as if willing himself to fight past the pain.

"You're fine, you're fine, you're doing good," Natasha coached, wiping Steve's hair off his sweaty forehead, mindful to avoid the myriad of bruises all over his face.

"Anyone ever tell you, you're a crappy cheerleader?" Steve joked, cracking his eyes open and wincing as the doctor began to examine the wound in his abdomen.

"Yeah well, I'm not usually the cheerleader type. You lucked out."

The doctor nodded at her and then reached in with the forceps, digging to China. Steve nearly came off the table, groaning loud and long as his whole body vibrated with pain. "You…ah…god…you sure…bout that?"

Natasha reached down and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "You bet your ass."

The doctor continued to probe and Steve cried out.

"Damn it, I can't find the bullet," said the doctor, twisting the forceps in a way that must've been excruciating to Steve because he instantly tried to curl away from the pain, letting out a pathetic sounding whimper that seemed foreign coming out of the mouth of Captain America.

"Easy, Steve," said Natasha, latching on to him in a semi hug, trying at once to comfort and also put him back into position so the doctor could continue to operate.

The doctor pressed on, thrusting the forceps deeper. Steve bucked, unleashing his full strength, nearly knocking a nurse to the floor. "Sorry," he gasped, nearly breathless, as Natasha struggled to keep him somewhat restrained without hurting him. "S'sorry."

"You're fine, Steve. You're fine," she whispered in his ear, pressing her hand into his upper back and giving the tensed up muscles she found there a bit of a massage to help him relax.

The doctor gave him a second to recover and then dug in again, the sensation making Steve gag with the pain. "Stop," he begged almost in shame, his eyes clenching shut as tears slid down his cheeks, his body shuddering with pain. "I can't. I can't."

"I think I see the bullet," said the doctor.

Steve shook his head, his eyes opening into tear-filled slits. "No more."

Natasha knelt down so she was eye level with Steve, running a comforting hand down his bruised and bloody cheek. "You can do this, Steve. Just a few more seconds, that's all we're asking."

"No more," he whispered again with a finality that suggested he meant much more than just the surgery. It seemed as if Steve's last reserve of strength, both physical and mental had been thoroughly exhausted by everything he'd gone through the last couple of days. She couldn't say that she blamed him, but she also wasn't going to let him give up. No way in hell.

"Captain America can do this all day. And so can Steve Rogers."

The phrase seemed to trigger something in Steve, and his face relaxed ever so slightly. He let out a clumsy breath and then gave a tiny, nearly imperceptible nod.

Natasha in turn looked at the doctor and nodded. "Make it quick," she urged as she grabbed onto Steve's hand once again and squeezed it as hard as she possibly could.

The doctor approached Steve and inserted the forceps back into the wound, ready to finally grab the bullet.

Steve winced, squeezing Natasha's hand so hard she was sure she would have bruises the next day. "Now, doctor," she said, straining to keep ahold of the super solider.

"One, two, three." The doctor gave a firm tug and Steve went white, his eyes rolling back in his head as he let out a pitiful sounding moan before his head lolled limply to the side. The doctor held up the bullet, secured in the forceps and popped it into a metal surgical bowl with a loud clink.

"Is that it?" Natasha asked, peering down anxiously at Steve, who appeared blissfully unconscious at the moment.

"That's it," said the doctor, pulling off his bloody scrubs. "He's going to be okay."

"Thank you," said Natasha, breathing a sigh of relief as the nurses began stitching Steve up. She continued to hold his hand through the mending, just in case the Captain decided to wake up. But Steve was well and truly out and didn't appear to be waking up any time soon.

When the last stitch was finally pulled through, Natasha ran a gentle hand through Steve's filthy hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek before standing up to give the nurses room to get him prepped to be moved into recovery. She glanced out the two-way mirror, seeing Fury still standing there, watching over them. The former S.H.I.E.L.D leader caught her eye and gave her a nod of appreciation. She nodded back and then turned her attention back to Steve as he was slowly rolled out of the OR. "Get well soon, Cap. Get well soon."

That's All Folks!