Chapter 1: Pit's first lesson

Pit was in the heat of battle against the underworld army, he sliced a Monoeye in half with Paluntena's bow and shot another one with an arrow.

"Good job Pit!" Paluntena said.

Something seemed off about her today. Pit occasionally heard her breathing heavily and gasping.

"Lady Paluntena, are you ok?" Pit said as he stabbed a Specknose in between the eyes.

"Umm... yes Pit, I'm just... fine."

"Something is off about you today."

"Oh, I know what she's doing!" Hades randomly interrupted... he always does this...

"Hades, don't!" Palutena begged him not to tell Pit what she was doing.

"She's just watching you kill all my precious little Underworlders and cheering you on... with her staff between her legs..." Hades said, they couldn't see, but he was giving an evil grin and rubbing his hands together.

Pit sliced through more Monoeyes and shot a Reaper in the head with an arrow. He then pieced it together.

"Oh, like when she practices for those dances that she sometimes does in front of other Gods... and she never lets me go there..." Pit said in confusion.

"Oh, why wasn't I given word of this, Pretty Palutena?" Hades said curiously, with a hint of humor.

"Because none of the other Gods like you." Paluntena said to Hades. "And yes, I'm practicing, Pit. And I'm doing just fine."

"Ok." Pit said cheerfully. He was glad that Lady Paluntena was alright, until Hades opened his mouth.

"So, Pretty Palutena. Have you given Pit 'the talk' yet?" Hades said, trying to get Pit curious. Paluntena didn't answer.

"Ok, if you're not going to tell him, I guess I will!" Hades said.

"Uh... Pit, I'll tell you it when you get back. Oh, I'm so close. I mean, you're almost to Thanatos!" Paluntena said quickly to get Hades to shut up.

"Ok, Lady Paluntena!" Pit said cheerfully as he drank the Drink of the Gods. "Say, why does Thanatos get resurrected a lot?"

"Beats me, he got a 'get out of death free card', he won't be doing a lot of talking, poor Thanypoo had to trade his tongue for it." Hades said.

Pit didn't know if he was serious or joking, it's hard to tell some times. Pit battled Thanatos for a while, he was pretty easy, but something put him off his concentration. As he was in the air, about to kill Thanatos once and for all, he heard Paluntena moaning and scream. He stabbed Thanatos in the head and the God of Death exploded.

"Lady Paluntena. Are you ok?" Pit wondered.

"Yes Pit. Now let's have that... talk." Paluntena said as she lifted Pit back to Skyworld, using her powers.

"Hang on, I'll get the popcorn." Hades said, jokingly.

"Go away Hades." Pit and Paluntena said Pit was instantly transported into Lady Paluntena's room.

She held his hand and took him to her bed, where they sat down. They sat there for three minutes as Paluntena was trying to figure out what to say. Pit just couldn't help staring at her, as a godess, she is naturally beautiful. She had the perfect balance of 'not too big, not to small'. Her boobs were big, but not too big, same with her ass, her face was also very pretty, and her hair looked as if it was a meadow.

"Ok, Pit." Paluntena began, "When a man and woman love each other very much, they kiss each other and... uh... the man puts his private area, which is called a penis, into the woman's private area, called a vagina, this process is called sex." Palutena had no idea what else to say, but she knew that the naive Pit would understand.

"Why do people have sex, Lady Palutena?" Pit asked.

"Because they love each other. Sometimes, they want to make a baby and sometimes it's for pleasure." Palutena said. Pit was surprisingly taking this well.

"Hmm... Have you had sex before?" Pit asked. He was getting really curious now.

"Well, of course I have. I am a goddess after all." Palutena said.

"Who did you have sex with? Gods or humans?" Pit was really curious.

"I had sex with a couple gods." Palutena confessed "I had sex with Zeus..."

"Wait! I thought Zeus was your dad!" Pit interrupted. He was really surprised by this news.

"Pit, it's about time you knew, Zeus will put his dick in almost anything." Palutena said while chuckling.

"Wait! What's a dick?" Pit said. He was really confused now. Palutena sighed and chuckled at his childlike behavior.

"A dick is another word for a penis." Palutena explained as she got up. "I should be making some food now, you can go to the hot springs if you want."

"Ok, Lady Palutena." Pit said as he bowed and walked toward the hot spring. Palutena sat back on her bed and chuckled. She watched Pit in the hot spring with her all seeing eye. Her hand reached down to her crotch. She watched him stretching his body in the corner of the steaming water. Then Palutena remembered.

"I should go make some dinner!"

So, that was the first chapter. I have a feeling I'm going to look at it... and it'll suck. Tell me what you thought :)