Hello, my readers! For all you people out there who are slightly sadistic like me, I have written a story in which Tony Stark is repeatedly told to shut up by different Avengers, including my OC, Spectra!
Disclaimer: Not mine. But I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
Black Widow~
"Hey, itsy bitsy spider! Guess what guess what guess what!"
Natasha ignored him.
Tony poked her.
Natasha reached behind her head and pulled out a handgun. Aiming at the space right between his feet, she fired a warning shot.
Stark, unfazed, yelled,"You haven't guessed yet!" Black Widow got off the couch and walked toward the hallway.
"Shut up, Stark."
Thor~
"Brother Anthony, have you seen my poptarts?"
"Maybe."
"Pray tell me where they are located."
Tony danced around the kitchen, yelling something about nyan cats.
Jarvis piped up."Sir, Miss Spectra has sent you this message on Sir Odinson's behalf: Shut up, Stark."
"Nyanyanyanyanyanya!"Tony sang, waltzing away.
"But where are my poptarts?"
Captain America~
"Hey Capsicle!"
Steve ignored him.
"Gramps! Stars 'n' Stripes! 90-year-old vir-"
Steve flushed, turning into a delicate shade of flaming lobster.
Natasha rescued him.
"Shut up, Stark!"
"Saved by the bell." Steve muttered under his breath.
Dr. Banner~
"Hey, Brucie Bruce!"
"Yes, Tony?"
"I sold your bedsheets on Ebay."
Bruce started turning green.
Tony held his hands up in mock surrender. "Whoa, there's good news too!"
He shrank back into Dr. Banner.
"What is it then?"
Tony smirked. "Your glasses turned a good profit too."
After a few stressful minutes of calming the Other Guy down, Bruce went back to his lab work.
"I also sold your spare boxers~"
"Shut up, Stark."
Hawkeye~
"Hawk hawk hawk eye eye eye Clint Clint Clint Barton Barton Barton!"
Clint's left eye twitched.
"Legolas!"
*Twitch*
"Katniss!"
*Twitch Twitch*
"I have blackmail~"
Clint walked faster.
"With video."
A vein popped up on his temple.
"And audio."
Hawkeye spun around.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"Just saying hi~"
Two seconds later, an unmanly scream echoed through Stark Tower.
And it wasn't from Clint.
Spectra~
The Avengers were gathered in the entertainment room, sitting around on the couch.
Tony stumbled in, with Shut up, Stark. written across his forehead.
The Avengers subsequently burst into laughter, except Hawkeye and Spectra. Even the two most introverted and mysterious members of the team cracked a smile at 'Poor Tony.'
Tony still had an 'Annoy the Avengers' quota to fill though.
However, getting beaten up by Clint Barton, Agent of SHIELD, does tend to disorient one.
And so it happened that one Tony Stark made the worst mistake he had ever made.
He stole the book that Spectra was reading.
This, in itself, would likely result in being locked in a dark room with no tech for him to play with. And no alcohol. For two weeks.
But no. He had to break the Guinness World Record for biggest idiot ever.
He threw the book out the window.
It just so happened to be a rainy day, and the book was almost instantly soaked.
It also just happened to be 236 floors from ground level.
And falling.
Idiot.
The Avengers collectively fell silent, slightly afraid for Tony's existence.
Spectra slowly stood up.
She floated toward the victim of her oncoming anger.
Holding him up by his throat, she glared at him with enough rage to make Red Skull scream and run like a little girl.
Tony still managed to give her the classic Stark smirk. "Ehehehehehe...whoops?"
With a look of sheer contempt, she threw him to the side, departing the room.
The next morning, Tony woke up to the phrase 'Shut up, Stark.' painted across his ceiling. And his blanket. And the other pillow. And his closet. And the carpeting. And, well, everything on his entire floor.
What took him a while to notice was that he was completely bald.
When he did, his scream shattered a few windows.
Poor, poor little Tony... If I have the time, I might make a few bonus scenes, but I'm all juiced out of ideas...
Reviews would be appreciated, no flamers please!
Peace, I'm out!