EDIT 12/14/16- Read the first chapter again! It's been redone and improved! Tons of new content added! Thanks again for the feedback guys! I love YOU!

A.

A.

A.

Hello you beautiful dead redheads and arm decapitated sisters. Nice to see all of you in wherever you are, reading this authors update, hopefully all 500- oh god, five hundred? Since when the hell did this become so popular?

No beating around the bush, I have writers block for this story, and for the past few months, I've felt lots of personal self doubt about the quality of this story in general.

Its been about two years since I've posted this story, and I like to think that I've improved my skills as a writer as time has passed. My standards have risen, my personal tastes have changed, and I've come to realize that me from two years ago has absolutely fuck all of an idea of what he's doing. As I continue to "write" (procrastinate) the next chapter, I've also come to realize that, even though my writing skills have improved, I still retain the same mindset for the story as I have those two years ago, hindering myself and my writing.

I look back on past chapters of this story, and I just can't help but cringe at my own writing. Asking myself things like, "Was I really this lazy?" "I could have been more creative for this part." "Where was I going with this?" "Oh god, the angst, it burns." And similar thought processes.

To my horror, I continued to have these feelings even as I read the latest chapters, with the Nora pranking chapter, and especially the fight with Cardin. Products of rushed out scenarios being poorly planned out, as well as writers block forcing me to cut corners in order-

FUCKING WRITERS BLOCK FOLLOWING ME HERE, THE POINT IS THAT I THINK THIS SHIT SUCKS NOW.

Even this unfinished chapter I have here right now feels like it was unplanned and poorly thought out, which I think is mostly because of the continuity of my past chapters. Writing the next chapters mean I have to work on continuing with what I've made in previous chapters, but with how much I personally think the previous chapters suck, I end up writing a chapter I'm unsatisfied with as well as- WRITERS BLOOOCK AAAGH I SUCK AT THIS

Take the first chapter of this story, and compare it to the first chapters of many other of my Male!Ruby fanfics. An obvious shift in creative detail. Two years of practice will do that to you. I wrote the first chapter of this fanfic while rewatching the first episode of RWBY about fifty times, because I lacked the creative imagination needed to do something innovating, because I was scared of deviating away from the canon too much for my fanfic. Despite my authors note for that chapter telling the readers about how "this isn't just copy pasted RWBY but Ruby is replaced by a boy, there will be different scenes and shit" I ended up making the first few chapters carbon copies of the actual episodes with very minimal creative differences!

LIKE, JUST FREAKING LOOK AT THE FIGHT SCENE WITH THE HENCHMEN GOONS. IF YOU WATCH THE EPISODE AND READ MY CHAPTER AT THE SAME TIME, ITS JUST LITERALLY ME DESCRIBING WHAT RUBY DID. NOTHING CHANGED BESIDES A FEW "My version of Ruby yells out attack names, and also he says some lines differently! Hahaha how creative"

ITS NOT CREATIVE, ME FROM TWO YEARS AGO, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

Sigh... point is, I'm very unsatisfied with the writing of this story. But I don't want to retcon or change anything, otherwise future chapters might get confusing or something. I don't even know.

I need you to tell me what I should do, because I have no idea what I'm going to do with this story. To me, it feels like just a collection of pointless scenarios that don't affect anything to the story. And when something creative does finally freaking happen, when a scene deviates away from canon, when I'm writing something that doesn't require me to rewatch an episode fifty times in order to copy paste it onto here, it's written so poorly and gets so rushed out that it makes me feel like "why did I even bother with this if it's not any good?"

I feel like I've written a unoriginal OC to replace a main character in a story, and it turns out to affect absolutely nothing. So I must ask you;

Should I rewrite A Boy's Take to something better, or am I just being a whiny bitch and it's fine the way it is? Should I continue with the continuity I've already written for myself, or should I go back to change and fix what I felt were mistakes? Should I delete my old chapters to update them with redux versions?

And most importantly...

Was Cardin too OP, and I should nerf him in next patch?

Thank you. Enjoy my unfinished chapter as I mull over my life choices. Seig Heil Trump.

Foggy. Weird. A sense of familiarity, and yet it felt like a stranger at the same time. A hallway, outside an office. Sense of disappointment, not from someone else, but from myself. A figure formed into existence as it walked up to me, a warm and comforting presence. Yet painful.

"So… Where does it hurt, sweetie?" Mom asked as she softly held my cheek.

I pointed to the dark spots on my leg, my hip, and my eye. "The nurse gave me some ice, but it didn't feel comfortable to put on. So I didn't take it."

"Heh. Just like me then." She smiled, "I prefer to let my bruises out in the fresh air too. Don't worry, your Aura should make it feel better by the time we get home."

She caressed the bruise on my face. Behind her warm smile, there was a hint of a pained expression behind it.

At the time, I couldn't help but feel guilty for making her worry like this.

"Why did you fight the other kids, Ross? I know you didn't do this without a good reason." She asked softly.

Recess. I was playing. Saw a small group hanging up on a girl. Sense of justice overcame me. It got me injured, yet couldn't help but feel pride in my actions.

I explained what happened to her, "Larson and his friends were pushing and name calling the wolf girl from across the street of the school. All she did was ask to play with them, but they kept making fun of her. Mommy said that it's my m-" I paused, trying to remember how to pronounce the words my parents used for their code, "m-morra obugatemen and doody to protect good people who do good, and stop bad people who do bad. So I pushed Carmine away from the wolf girl to make him leave her alone." I looked away slightly, "Then he got angry and started name calling me instead…"

"So that's why you hit him, right?" She finished for me. Not disappointedly, just in a more neutral tone.

I hesitantly nodded. "The teacher saw us and got angry, then sent us to Principal Manners' office. He says I'm in trouble for hitting the other kids…"

Mom sighed tiredly, then held me in her arms. "I see."

"Did I do bad, mommy?" I asked softly, wondering if she was going to be ashamed of me.

"No, no sweetie. You didn't do anything bad thing at all." She reassured me, patting my back soothingly.

"But Principal Manners said-"

"You let worry about whatever it was that he said. I'm going to talk to Principal Manners, okay?" She loosened her hug to smile at me.

Standing up, she tossed away her smile and shifted to a more scary-looking scowl as she went inside the door to the principal's office, shutting it close.

I waited outside in the hallway seat, staying quiet and nervous beyond all reason for what was going to happen to me.

Since the door to the office was closed, I couldn't really hear much inside except some quiet muffling. Both Dad and Mom were inside, talking to the principal.

I fidgeted around for a bit, my nervousness continuing to grow as their conversation grew in length. I was then startled when I heard Mom suddenly shouting.

"THIS IS COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

Mom swore again. She only swore when she was really pissed off. Never did it around me though, but I sometimes caught her in her worse moments when she thought I wasn't around to witness it.

Picked up a few bad habits along the way. Probably something she was trying to prevent in the first place.

Curiously, I slid out of my seat and stepped closer to the door, putting my ear against it to hear what was going on.

"Honey, please calm down." I heard Dad say with a worried tone.

"I suggest you listen to your husband, Ms. Rose-" Principal Manners began to speak before he was interrupted by Mom.

"You listen here you bastard, my son was trying to protect a little Wolf Faunus from being bullied by those other kids! If anyone deserves to be punished, it's those little shitstains! Ross was only doing what he thought was the morally correct thing to do!"

The principle spoke with obvious irritation, but did his best to remain speak calmly. "Ms. Rose, we have no records of any Wolf Faunus that are attending our school. We also have multiple testimonies by the other kids who were there to witness the incident, all saying that Ross Rose was deliberately antagonizing Larson Rothschild, before physically attacking him! It's obvious that your son has made up an elaborate and falsified story in order to feign innocence!"

Mom's anger only continued to grow, "First off, there wasn't any records of a Wolf Faunus was because she doesn't go to this school! She lived in a house nearby and wanted to play with the other kids before they started harassing her! Second of all, those multiple testimonies from the other kids" She emphasized her disgust when she used that word, "-are all unreliable because they were the same kids that participated in the bullying! Those fucks are just using my son as a scapegoat!"

"Ms. Rose, I would like to politely request that you do not curse here, as we are in a school building-"

"I'll fucking say whatever I goddamn want, you two-bit shortsighted hack of a-"

Dad stepped in with a calm voice, "Look Principal Manners, Ross is genuinely a good kid. He would never hurt someone else without good reason. My wife and I raised him all of his life, we know what he's like!"

"Really. Your wife took part in raising him, hm? How unsurprising." The principal said in a dry tone. "Look, unless you have any evidence to support your claims, we cannot just take your word for it. Larson Rothschild's parents are threatening to press charges against us, and we simply can't let this action go unnoticed. Ross Rose has broken countless of rules during his time attending Spotlight Academy-"

I was startled when I felt a hand was placed on my shoulder out of the blue. I turned around, only to calm down when I realized it was just Uncle Qrow.

"Hey buddy, relax. It's just me." He patted my shoulder comfortingly.

"Uncle Qrow? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I heard you got into some trouble, and being the protective and awesome Uncle that I am," he gloated unabashedly, "I thought I could help out by scoping out the area, gather some info." He then pulled out a Scroll thingy that I always saw my big sister and both my parents use. "And I think I found some pretty good dirt that'll get you out of this jam in a jiffy."

"EXPULSION?! YOU MASSIVE COCKSUCKING CUNTFUCKER!"

Cookie goes to whoever can guess who said that.

"Woah. Your mom doesn't sound happy." He massively understated. "Looks like that's my cue to go in and save the day again."

With that, he went inside the principal's office to try to calm the situation down.

With the door shut, I resumed pressing my ear up against the door.

Qrow immediately went to calm the situation as best he could. "Alright everybody, let's all just settle down before Summer here accidently burns this building to the ground."

"Qrow, you're here! Thank God!" I heard Dad sighed in relief.

"I'm sorry, who are you supposed to be?"

"I'm the family uncle, Qrow Branwen. I come to provide physical evidence that can prove Ross's innocence."

"Oh? And what, pray tell, could you possibly have that can prove such an impossible notion?"

There was a loud slam before Mom started shouting again, "I'M STARTING TO GET REAL SICK OF YOUR SMUG ASS-"

"Summer, don't worry. I got this." I heard Uncle Qrow confidently reassured Mom, before clearing his throat.

"What I have here is a live recording of the incident from a neighboring house. The owner of this footage was kind enough to send me a copy on my Scroll when I explained the situation. As you can see here, these kids from your school were just playing around, when a Wolf Faunus child came up to them. After the contact, the kids gradually started to pick on the poor girl, shoving her around and generally making her feel unwelcome. That was when Ross came into the scene, and immediately jumped to her defense. Ross pushed way one boy that was harassing her the most, and tried to use his body to block off any more kids from touching her. The same boy then proceeded to shove and harass Ross, before it escalated into a full on physical fistfight.

"As you can see, Ross only fought back in self defense. He was entirely innocent from this whole debacle from the start."

The room was silent after a while.

…

…

…

"Summer, if you keep staring at him like that, you'll burn a hole into his face."

"YEAH WELL MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR!"

"Aherm… In light of recent information, I regret to announce that we, in Spotlight Academy, may have passed judgment a bit… too quickly?"

"Oh yeah, so now you're starting to act all polite, huh?"

"Now now, I'm sure that we can compensate for our inadequate efficiency regarding towards how we dealt with the situation, which caused you much frustration, no doubt… Rest assured, proper action will be committed, and we will also reappeal any punishment we have sentenced towards Ross Rose, starting with his expulsion-"

"Actually, you know what? No." Mom interrupted.

"N-no?"

"Honey, what are you-"

"No. You don't have to worry a single bit about Ross's expulsion. You know why? Because I'm never letting him come back to this school ever again! I am going to transfer him to an entirely new and more respectable academy!"

"W-w-wait now Ms. Rose, let's not be hasty-"

"Shut your face-anus that you call a mouth! I originally wanted Ross to attend this school because I was once a student here back when I was a child. I can see now that I made a terrible mistake that was blinded by childhood nostalgia! I don't know when this school became such a shithole, but I'm going to guess it started back when you first took the reigns as the new principal!"

"W-well, that's a bit of a harsh presumption…" I could barely hear Principle Manner as he spoke.

"Babycakes, Qrow, you two are teachers in Signal Academy, right? The one that Yang goes to?" Mom asked Dad and Uncle Qrow in a shockingly sweet tone that contradicted with her earlier behavior.

Both Dad and Uncle Qrow mumble confusedly, as they were taken aback by her sudden one-eighty switch.

"There! That settles it then." Mom cheerfully proclaimed, "Ross will be going to Signal, where two trustworthy teachers will be educating him and help prevent situations like false accusations against him from ever happening again. Principal Manners, you can go fuck yourself. Fuck you, fuck this school, fuck all the kids here, fuck all the teachers, and I hope this school suffers painfully before getting shut down."

Hearing the sound of stomping, I quickly stepped away from the door just in time to avoid Mom slamming the door into my already bruised face.

Seeing me, my mom immediately switched her anger into a more motherly expression, and calmly spoke to me as if she didn't just cussed out the principal fifty times about a second ago. "Oh Ross, guess what? You get to go to school with your big sister now! The same school where both Daddy and Uncle also work at! How do you feel about that?"

I nervously shrugged, not exactly sure how to react. "Yay?"

"Perfect! Now let's go home. Mommy is very proud of you today for what you did for that little girl. For your reward, Mommy is going to buy you a biiiiig jar of chocolate chip cookies, all for yourself!"

I gasped in excitement, "Cookies!"

She took my hand and we both happily walked down the hallway to leave the school forever.

Behind me, Dad and Uncle Qrow could only stare in bewilderment as they left the stressed out and red-faced principal to his own devices.

"Jeez. She sure has gotten more abrasive ever since you knocked her up." Qrow scratched his chin in astonishment, "Hard to believe that she used to be so timid back then."

"Yeah, she's definitely a whole different creature ever since we had Ross." Dad nodded, "Only a crazy man can fall in love her. Which I am."

"What? Crazy, or in love with her?"

"Goes hand in hand, doesn't it?"

They both gave each other a warm chuckle, before following us out.

As mom opened the entrance door to the school building, we came across an everyday giant Alpha Beowolf.

"Huh. A Grimm." Mom casually pointed out.

The Alpha Beowolf then ate her.

*nom*

"Huh. My mom is dead now." I casually pointed out.

The Alpha Beowolf sprouted a top hat and cane, and then started to dance to a jiggy tune.

"Hello my baby,

Hello my honey,

Hello my ragtime gal!

Send me a kiss by wire,

Baby- my heart's on fire!"

"Guh- whaddafuck?"

Eyes open. White ceiling. Sore body.

Panic.

What just happened? What was I doing? Where am I? Am I dead?

I rummaged my hands over my face and chest to make sure that I wasn't dead.

"I'M NOT DEAD YET." I declared to anyone with me, just in case they weren't sure and was about to bury me or cremate me or whatever it is they did with dead people.

"Uh... that's certainly good news. if not obvious already."

I turned my head to my left, seeing a woman with a nurse's outfit folding some red clothing.

I looked at her hands to see that she was folding my red leather hoodie and pants, while also fiddling with my music player.

"I'm sorry, I accidentally switched on your music player. I turned it off just as you woke up. Must have startled you, huh?" She explained in an apologetic tone.

I said nothing back, still trying to get my brain caught up to date. There was such a massive hole in my head that it was just confusing me to no end. I had no idea what happened last night, or however long ago. I had no idea why I was here and not in my dorm room. I had absolute shit idea where my friends were, and last but not least, I was starving like a hyena after giving up meat for Lent.

WHAT IS GOING ON.

Okay, calm down… Think… You're obviously in the Beacon Infirmary rooms. There was a nurse right here to help you out. What was the most important question to ask her at the moment?

…

"I don't remember buying that song. Why was it in my music player?!"

The nurse quirked an eyebrow at me, before shrugging indifferently.

Alright, most important question was out of the way.

Now for the second most important question.

"Do you have food?"

Mm, say what you will about hospital foods. Beacon's infirmary? Five-stars, satisfaction guaranteed.

"This is good." I garbled while my mouth was full of roasted barbecued chicken. "Man, I can't believe how starving I am. This must be the most bloodthirsty I've ever felt myself being." I swallowed, drinking some refreshing orange juice to down it down.

"Well, that's not surprising. I mean, you have been unconscious for the past three days, -"

PPPBBBBBBBHHHHT-

"THREE DAYS?!" I casually asked in a calm manner to the now orange-juice drenched nurse. "What the hell happened to me that it caused me to get knocked out for three entire days?!"

Her eye twitched as she glared at me, arms raised and clenched, frozen in shock from the orange juice clinging onto her clothes.

"Oh…" I awkwardly blinked, scratching my neck in embarrassment. "Sorry…"

"It's fine. You've been asleep for a long time, and the news was a shock to you. You're lost and confused, and I understand that." She irritatedly wiped some juice off her face and flicked it away. "But it would still be best if you were to not overreact like that the next time you learn something surprising."

"Sorry again…" I took a small glance at my cup to stare disappointedly at it. "I- um… Could you- uh- if it's not too much trouble or anything…"

I stammered nervously, holding the cup up halfway, trying to decide whether or not I should really ask her to maybe refill my cup with some more orange juice. I was still kinda thirsty…

She took the cup out of my hand for me though, without waiting for me to ask. "Of course." She deadpanned, "Please be patient, as I will be taking the time to clean myself before returning with your drink."

With that, she stomped away as she left the room to go get cleaned up.

I took another bite of my food, clearing my head from any thoughts for just a moment. I just needed a quick reset, and I'd be golden.

So…

Three days, huh?

What in Oum's name happened to me that I passed out for so long?

I tried to think back on what I can remember… But…

AAGH…

Damn. This was hard. It was like… There was this big black hole that was taking up space in my brain where my memories should be.

C'mon, if you can't remember, then try to guess, Ross.

Did I get thrown out the window a bit harder than all the other times? Tried to do something I really shouldn't have done and instantly regretted? Got into some sort of figh-

Wait.

…

Lunchroom. Cute Bunny Girl. Carfuck. Velvet Scarlatina. Something about an alcoholic beating his wife and kids. I was fighting Carfuck, and he was beating me… I got overwhelmed and-...

Nothing.

Couldn't remember a damn thing that happened after that.

Oh crap.

Oooooohhhhhhh crap.

I groaned pathetically as I grasped my face in complete and utter shame.

I lost the fight, didn't I? That was the only explanation. I got my ass beaten so hard by Carfuck, I actually went into a damn three-day coma, and I couldn't even remember it properly.

Fuuuuuuck.

I told myself I wasn't going to lose to him, and what did I fucking do?

Lose. To him.

"Aaaauuugh" I scrunched up into a ball and wallowed in my self-pity.

I don't think I can show my face around my friends anymore. What will they think of me now? A disappointment? A joke? A fluke?

Uuugh, and things were starting to get so well too! I finally thawed out the Ice Princess, Weiss, I became buddies and accomplices with Nora, I was starting to do well in class- DUST DAMMIT!

…

Maybe I could start over.

I could move to Vacuo. Pack my things and leave without a note. Make it as painless and quick as possible.

Once I got there, I'd try my luck on getting into Shade Academy. It's no Beacon, but it was the second best place I could think of, probably.

Maybe change my name to Rojo Rosa. Meet a cute Spanish girl and start a family. The Rosa family.

Although, I could move to Atlas instead and try to find a cute French girl. Maybe with short hair, blonde, a blue color scheme to really stand out next my red. Ooh! She could also have finger guns, and make extremely corny references to action movies-

Dammit Ross, you're fantasizing again.

I smacked the back of my head a bit to knock me out of my crazy thoughts.

Obviously, running away after losing face from one single fight was incredibly stupid. Not to mention, completely insane, as this was only the first couple weeks of the school year.

Me losing to Carfuck is normal. I was up against the average seventeen year old hunter-in-training. There was no doubt that I'd be put up against people stronger than me at some point.

I just need some more training. Maybe learn some techniques from the holonet, ask for advice from the teachers, etc. This was just a bump in the road for my ultimate goal of becoming the Grimm Reaper, and it'd be a bump that I'd easily overcome in time.

Then, once I got stronger, I'd just issue a rematch with Carfuck! Then beat the shit out of him, like I originally planned.

And I was sure that my friends wouldn't think any less of me for losing to Carfuck just once.

Yang would be supportive all the way. Weiss would call me an idiot, but would begrudgingly forgive me because she knows that I couldn't help it. Blake would probably say something in the lines of how this happens to the best of people, and I shouldn't let it get to me. Jaune would make a really bad joke in order to make me feel better, then immediately regret saying it when he realizes how insensitive it will probably sound. Pyrrha would console me by saying that so long as I had tried my hardest in the fight, that was all that matters. Nora would probably tell me an elaborate plan about sneaking up on Carfuck in an empty hallway and then do terrible things to him, to which I would probably be on the fence about. Ren would-... He'd-... I dunno. Stare sympathetically at me, or something.

Point was, this was just one fight out of the many I would inevitably have in my lifetime. I shouldn't freak out about losing this one fight so badly. This fight doesn't mean I sucked, it just meant that I was still unprepared.

…

Why do I still feel like a failure then?

I sighed heavily, letting my head fall back on the pillow.

The pristinely white ceiling above me did not provide any comfort.

This was stressful. This was stupid. I need to be even more positive than this.

Was this what Yang was worried about? Me getting into funks at some point from tiny things like this? Was this why she was always asking me if I was feeling depressed? To make sure things didn't get worse?

Well you know what? I ain't gonna lay here and take it! I'm not gonna let my emotions get the better of me! I could control my feelings and thoughts to whatever I wanted it to be. I could easily stop being sad and wallowing in self-pity whenever I wanted!

I DON'T ANGST. I'M EMOTIONALLY STABLE. I'M NOT TRAUMATIZED AT ALL.

So to prove my point, I was gonna let myself relax and listen to some music so I that I could move on and focus on more important stuff.

Leaning over to grab my music player, I connected my headphones, put it over my ears. I got into a more comfortable position and closed my eyes, before pressing play.

"Hello my baby,

Hello my hon-"

"FUCK YOU"

A random spurt of anger suddenly made me lash out and throw my music player at the wall across from me.

The music player broke on impact, shattering into small pieces and clattered on the floor.

I paused, staring at the broken music player in shock.

Guess I wasn't as good at controlling my emotions as I thought.

"Dammit!" Out of frustration, I felt like slamming my fist down by my side, just to release the tension into the bed or something.

My hand accidently hit my food tray table instead, causing it to flip over. While laying on my bed, I saw the half-eaten chicken leg flung up to the air.

"This friggin' SU-" was what I was about to cuss before feeling something lodge itself inside my throat.

What the fack

I coughed out of reflex, but found myself unable to remove the chicken. I tried to push it out, but to no avail. Coughing, wheezing, punching myself, nothing worked. With the chicken still in my throat and how I can't seem to breathe oxygen properly, it was safe to conclude that I was slowly choking to death.

"GRUGLRRSAH"

Not like this- NOT LIKE THIS- AT LEAST LET ME SAY THE LAST WORDS BEFORE I GO-

"GURKALFS"

DRY CLEAN ONLY

"GURKALFS"

DRY CLEAN ONLY

"GURKALFS"

DRY CLEAN ONLY

DUST DAMMIT!

"Ross!"

I looked to my side to see Ozpin entering the room, his eyes dilating when saw my purple-looking face.

Not wanting him to worry, I tried to give a casual wave in hopes of looking like I had everything under control. But, since I was being blocked of oxygen, my casual hand wave looked more like a pathetic and drunken flap in the air.

"Remain calm Ross! I'll help you out of this!" He dashed over to me, and pushed me back down on my bed and removed the tray out of the way.

As I lied there, a bit too tired to really move- you know, cuz of the whole choking to death thing- Ozpin put my hands to my side and proceeded to elbow drop the shit out of my stomach.

I felt a bit of air pressure getting blocked in my throat by the evil chicken leg. Ozpin, seeing that the chicken was still in my throat, began to elbow drop me again even harder.

This time, I actually sort of felt the chicken getting pushed out for a bit. It was still in there, but it was starting to loosen up.

"Hold still Ross, this will only hurt for a moment." Ozpin reassured me, before grabbing the walking stick that he usually carried around with him. Holding it by the handle like a sword, he brought it high up, and then smashed it down on my gut.

The force was painful, but it did the job. The air in me was able to push the chicken out of my throat, strong enough that it was actually spat out into the air again.

I felt relieved at finally being able to breathe again, although the moment of relief was short-lived.

Out of sheer chance, the chicken had somehow landed on a remote button that was attached to the bed on the side, which was the bed adjustment control button. In turn, it caused the entire bed to fold itself in half, with me still on it.

With the bed crushing my spinal cord as I had my face smothered against my crotch, I could only wheeze out in pure agony, "Don't tell anyone this is how I died. Please."

"Well, that was a rather eventful morning." Ozpin commented, sipping on his mug.

"Sure, why not, let's go with that." I deadpanned.

We might as well pretend that the body cast the infirmary staff put on me was actually just an oversized and uncomfortable jacket that was going out of style.

Ozpin grabbed a glass of orange juice from the food tray in front of me, as I was incapable of of moving my arms at the moment, and pointed the straw towards me. "Some juice?"

I begrudgingly sipped the beverage that was offered.

"So, how are you feeling now Ross?" He politely asked, putting the orange juice back.

"Oh you know, pretty peachy. Woke up confused and terrified, shocked at the fact that I was in a three day coma, nearly choked to death and got snapped into two not even a minute apart. Pretty average day so far." I replied emotionlessly.

"Hm. Sorry to hear that."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Ozpin casually sipped on his mug.

"So… uh… Thanks for saving my life. I'm pretty grateful that you prevented me from dying by chicken leg asphyxiation." I started awkwardly.

He gave a warm chuckle, "I'm sure you would have done the same for me, Ross."

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Awkward silences are awkward.

Ozpin cleared his throat before speaking, "Your Aura should be able to heal all your injuries within the next hour or two. I'm sure you'll be very relieved and excited to finally leave and go back to your friends."

"Meh, probably." I shrugged indifferently.

"'Probably?'" He repeated curiously.

"I mean, I'm not really sure how to face them, after three entire days of being in a coma. I'm a little bit nervous, to be honest…"

"What's there to be nervous about? After not being able to see you for the past three days, surely they'll be relieved to know that you're well again."

"Well, I mean, yeah. That's definitely going to be true… But, you know… with the whole fight with Cardin thing, which was the entire reason I was stuck in a coma in the first place…"

"What about your fight with Cardin makes you so nervous to face your friends again? Do you have reason to believe that they wouldn't be proud of you?"

"Proud? What?" I raised a confused eyebrow, "Do I have any reason to think otherwise?"

"..." Ozpin gave me a peculiar look, one that practically screamed You currently have five tongues replacing every part of your face. Please fix that. "Ross, what was the last thing you remember before waking up?"

I shrugged, "My humiliating defeat in the hands of Cardin? His mace knocking me to the floor? Why do you ask?"

He stared at me.

I stared back.

...

After a few centuries of awkward staring, Ozpin sipped from his mug again. "Curious. Very curious."

"Uh, why is that curious?

AND DATS ALL FOR DIS PREVIEW COME BACK SOON NEXT FIFTY YEARS