Story Summary:Out of adversity can come great change and personal growth. Sometimes it's easier to settle for second best, sometimes we don't even realise we're doing it, perhaps we feel like we don't deserve better. When disaster strikes, it gives us the wake-up call we need to reassess our life, to see that what we have is lacking. The courage to say, 'I'm not going to take it any more.'

A/N: TThis is a short story that falls into the genre of my Grumpy Old Men persona and has spoilers for Better Angels in season 11. Frankly the whole episode made me furious and when I read a review of the episode by a critic, it was like they'd watched an entirely different show to the one that I had. Phrases like heart warming, team bonding predominated, while I found it so very wrong on many levels. This story is unbeta'ed so please excuse any and all mistakes. The story is already complete and unlike many of my stories it does have a HEA.

Warning: This is a Tony-centric story and not flattering in the portrayal of the team in general. If you see them as a big happy family you won't like this story. You've been warned!

I Shouldn't Have To

Tony looked at the information the doctor had given him to read about the procedure, telling him it was a simple needle guided biopsy that shouldn't even require an overnight stay in hospital. No big deal at all! Although, Dr Christiansen had also cautioned that it was possible that he would also need to have an endoscopic biopsy performed too and if so ,then would need to stay overnight for that since sedation was involved. He'd had a chest X-ray and CT scan done already since his internist was concerned about his persistent cough, problems breathing and chest pain.

Tony really could have done with someone to talk with about his concerns but unfortunately Brad was overseas at some prestige medical symposium, presenting a paper. Ever since pulling him through the impossible double whammy of Y Pestis and pneumonia he'd become the rock star of the pulmonary world – the superhero of the medical podium – liable to leap tall nurses at a single bound and stop speeding enemas with his scary scowl. Now when the poor slub that had made him what he was today needed to see him, the doofus was overseas, dazzling the rest of the dumber docs with his brilliance.

Okay, so call him a bit of a Drama Queen but at least Brad took his not unexpected slight, tiny little aversion to injections… alright his hearty dislike in a totally manful way…fine then… his pathological fear of needles that left him sobbing like a girl, in stride and never mentioned it afterwards. With Brad, what happened in Pittsville stayed in Pittsville – in fact the guy seemed to be blessed with a curious form of amnesia. For which Tony was incredible grateful.

So of course he was always going to prefer to go to see him if he had a medical problem. That hardly made him a wimp – of course it didn't – he faced down crazed killers and terrorists practically every day after all and he even faced hospital food stoically. No, he was no damned coward. Nuh uh – no way.

He'd been in contact with his friend, medical specialist, breaker of Buckeye leg's, destroyer of flourishing professional sporting careers and shatterer of cherished hopes and dreams, about his persistent symptoms. Brad had been adamant that Tony needed to get checked out ASAP and not wait til he returned stateside and so organised a consult with his colleague, Internist Dr Eva Christiansen. After the equivocal results of the X-ray and CT scan he'd emailed Brad to tell him about the proposed biopsy to get his opinion because when he heard the word biopsy he may have freaked out… just a tad. He'd emailed back to urge him to go ahead with it and arranged a Skype call so they could talk.

And he really appreciated Pitt's insight as a friend and doctor but he could have done with his buddy Brad by his side to have a cold beer or two with and to take his mind off the procedures. It wasn't the biopsy that was freaking him out – it was what they might find plus, the damned unbearable wait to have it and the wait to find out his fate. He wasn't great at waiting – okay he sucked big time at being patient.

Him and delayed gratification – not a fan. No way could he have been a Marine sniper like Gibbs, waiting for days until the conditions were right to take a single shot. Of course, he wasn't even a Marine, lacked the fortitude, the focus and discipline – Marines didn't need head slaps.

Later when he chatted to Brad he told Tony that he needed to try to stay calm, that it didn't have to be a tumour – that there were other things they needed to rule out, like fungal infections too. In fact, Brad had pointed out, on Tony's recent trip to Israel and the time he'd spent in vineyards and olive groves, the risk factor when combined with his compromised lungs made contact with fungi a distinct possibility. One that needed eliminating as a matter of urgency. Of course, while it was comforting on the one hand to know that the odds of him having lung cancer were low, when he Googled fungal lung infestations that scared the crap out of him, too. And even if there was a one in a hundred chance of his symptoms actually being cancer, well someone had to be the unlucky bastard who was the one, didn't they?

Brad had smiled as they were winding up the conversation on his iPad. "I really wish I could be there for you, Buckeye but it really can't wait til I'm home. At least I feel better knowing that that wacky team slash family of yours, will be there to support you so you don't have to go through it alone."

Tony smirked. "Yeah, I'll be fine, Wolverine. Good luck with the paper and I'll let you know when I get the results."

"Actually Tony, I requested that Eva CCs your result to my smart phone, so I'll be in touch when we know something definitive. Try not to worry and good luck with the biopsy. You'll be fine."

Sure someone's going to come at me with a freakin huge needle and shove it into my chest to draw out a bunch of cells. No problemo, amigo! However, never one to reveal his fears and weaknesses, even to those closest to him, he kept his personal insights to himself and instead said goodbye.

He'd be fine, just like always!