Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or spongebob

Chapter 1: Prologue

Suppose you go out for a lovely stroll one day for a breath of fresh air. You cross the street, pondering the mediocrity of your everyday life, when BAM!

You get hit by a careless driver, dying instantly and painlessly.

This, of course, is not the end for you because that would make for only a random and mildly entertaining death, much like your own life. Which, in turn, would make for such a boring story.

Through some trick of fate, you are reborn as Harry Potter's twin sister in the Harry Potter universe with extraordinary magic, elemental powers, and genius intelligence. Given the chance to rewrite the story, you use said powers to turn the tide at every single confrontation imaginable and win the affections of most everybody around you.

But that's not all! The ones who don't fawn over your every twitch hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. They do not appreciate your humble approach to the praise hurtled at you, and make pathetic attempts to ruin your reputation. Does it work? Of course not! They all fail and end up humiliated by your previously mentioned quick wit and aptitude in magic and elemental powers. Through all this resentment and mortification, there is still a tiny part of them that admires you. Oh, and they're all from that detestable House nobody likes.

What's this? You've managed to snag the most charming, handsome, powerful, and intelligent male in all of Hogwarts? He's wrapped around your little finger and loves you with, well, the passion of a thousand burning suns? You have hot, kinky sex with him nearly every day? Good on you, you foxy girl!

But wait one second, this is incredibly unrealistic! It's too perfect and you're a Mary-Sue!

Well, you're absolutely correct. No higher power in their right mind would bestow this kind of luck on a mere mortal.

I wish this was what happened to me. Instead of dying quickly and painlessly on my trivial walk, the last thing I remembered was a very big, very menacing Mack truck coming my way and a very blurry, very blue sky. It was actually quite a sunny and cheery day when I died in that slow and excruciating manner, courtesy of the broken bones and traumatic hemorrhaging.

After an undetermined amount of time, I found myself reborn in another world. Not a world I was obsessed with or had extensive background knowledge of, mind you. Out of all the fictional worlds I could have ended up in, it was the Harry Potter universe. Don't get me wrong, I love the Harry Potter series, it's just I would have preferred a more mild plot line, like say Twilight. The most I would have dealt with was a hundred year old pedophile obsessed with a seventeen year old girl, as opposed to a Dark Lord obsessed with blood purity and death.

This, unfortunately, was where the vague similarity ends. I was not reborn as Harry Potter's twin sister, nor did I get special super powers of awesomeness that let me beat the crap out of people I hated. I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed either, but according to that case study some random psychologist did, watching Spongebob one too many times in my previous life may have caused the slight stupidity I was inflicted with!

I didn't get to hang off the arm of Witch Weekly's Most Eligible Wizard, or anyone like that. Actually, my peers didn't like me at all, and they certainly didn't trust me. Not that I blamed them. If I encountered someone from my family, I'd be running for the hills and shooting hexes too. Sometimes, I still fight that urge myself whenever I see my relatives.

Now, I'm aware that in a lot of Harry Potter fan fictions, the people reborn into this world in families that they initially didn't like, end up becoming attached and love them down to their very core. This was not the case with me. When I realized where I was, or more accurately who I was, I screamed. For a good, long five minutes. It was that appalling. I was mildly repulsed by the members in this family and their allies when I read the books, and after becoming a part of it, I was absolutely disgusted with them. There was one I did get attached to, but even that was tinged with disappointment and dislike. Because you see, my family was…

… Oh god, I can't even admit it. It's just that horrific. You'd have trouble too, if you were in my position. If you told me to count my blessings, I did have one thing going for me. At least I was reborn as a girl again.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Just wanted to clear up a few things, this story is an SI fic but this character isn't anything like me nor was she based off me. Secondly, this fic is meant to be a humorous one, and not overly serious. It will get a bit more intense in the later parts of the story, but it will retain it's comedic element. Thirdly, this story will also have romance, but the pairings aren't decided yet so don't hound me with questions. Suggestions are welcome though. I don't have a beta yet, so if anyone is interested, just shoot me a PM.

Finally, I know this is only a short prologue but I won't continue with the story if no one shows any interest. This isn't a threat for reviews (though I do enjoy people's opinions), it's just that I don't want to spend my time writing a story that nobody reads, so even one favorite or a follow will do and I'll keep writing. So far, I have the next two chapters written. Look forward to it.

-Fiction