Summary: "We're protecting him, but he won't thank us for it. He'll see it as betrayal."

Author's Notes: Porthos knows about Aramis and the Queen and finally it all comes out. I've been wanting to do this for a while and I hinted at it in "That is the Cost".

So yeah, spoilers for Season 1.

I own very little and absolutely nothing related to The Musketeers.

Aramis rested his elbows on the small table and watched Athos, who was standing like stone by the door.

"We're protecting Porthos, but he won't thank us for it. He'll see it as betrayal."

"You said to keep it quiet," responded Aramis.

"I did," acknowledged Athos. "And I was wrong. On one hand, you never tell him about you and the Queen and it comes out and he'll know you kept it from him. And he'll never forgive you for it. On the other, it stays a secret forever and it festers."

"He never has to know," insisted Aramis.

"You think he doesn't already? Porthos is no fool and you've not been subtle. If not what exactly, he knows something has happened."

"If this is found out, it won't matter how angry he is or that he'll never forgive me. I'll be dead." Athos' face was cold and stony.

"Take this from someone who has some experience in the matter. Your death won't free him from that anger. He'll carry it for the rest of his life. It will hollow him out. The laughter and the warmth that fill him will turn to silence and ashes. Do you want that? Would you wish that upon Porthos?"

"No," answered Aramis shortly. Athos' voice softened.

"He loves you, Aramis. But even if he didn't, I doubt we will ever meet a man more loyal or a heart more kind. Trust in that." Athos replaced his hat and began to step out of the door. "When has Porthos ever disappointed you?"

"Never," murmured Aramis to the now empty room. "And perhaps that makes this all the harder. It is I who must disappoint him." He tugged at his hair, staring down at the table. "But I will tell Porthos."

"Tell me what?"

Aramis froze.

A dozen lies filled his mind. Stories and excuses readied themselves, anything to avoid this. But they all evaporated as he looked up at the door and the look on Porthos' face.

Aramis had no idea how long he'd been listening or what he expected, but it didn't matter.

Athos was right.

Porthos knew.

He'd known for some time. And he hadn't said anything. Hadn't revealed any hurt. But that changed now. His face tight, fists clenched. A dark storm boiled into Porthos' eyes: quick, ready, and had clearly been gaining strength, just out of sight.

"Tell me what?" Porthos repeated, his voice entirely different, harder. "Tell me how you committed treason? How you betrayed your country, your king, and your comrades? Or how you lied about it for months?"

Aramis held up his hands, but Porthos didn't stop.

"What!?" thundered Porthos. "What is it you are goin' to say?"

"I wanted to tell you!" yelled Aramis, rising to his feet. "I wanted to tell you, Porthos, I did. But the fewer people who knew, the better."

"That 'cause I can't be trusted? Is that it? Not smart enough to keep my mouth shut..."

"I never said that. I never..." protested Aramis, even as Porthos pushed on.

"...I'm just a stupid gutter rat who don't understand the affairs o' the nobility. Don't deserve to be included..."

"No!" bellowed Aramis. "You know I don't think that about you, that I never did! Don't you dare make this about anything else." He ran his hands through his hair roughly. Aware of how loud they had gotten, he lowered his voice. "Yes, be angry with me. I deserve it. But never doubt I kept it from you in order to protect you! No matter how much I wanted to tell you."

"I've known you a long time, hmm? And the smart thing never stopped you from doin' as you pleased." Porthos shook his head and pressed his lips together, pulling them into a frown. "Nah. If you wanted to tell me, you would've."

"What I want is to not have you hang along side me," said Aramis hotly.

"All these years," began Porthos, his fury seemingly slipping away. "All these years I've called you brother and I would've gladly died by your side."

"I did not set out to deceive you," appealed Aramis. "I did not mean for any of this."

"I'm sure it's an entertainin' tale," said Porthos with a bitter smile. "Full o' sweet words and daring do. But I'm not in the mood." He turned and walked out the door.

And Aramis could not find any words to call him back.