AN: You know what's frustrating? Line breaks that don't work. I've had to make do with little X's instead. With that being said, I hope you enjoy, and if you do (or don't) please leave a review telling me why. Happy reading.
xxx
Nami looked down at her spread sheets and frowned.
If any of the other Straw Hats were to look at her at that moment they would have shrugged it off. It wasn't uncommon for the navigator to spend an unhealthy amount of time fretting over their financial situation.
It couldn't be helped, really. Despite the crew's reputation as a group of infamous pirates they did a pitiful amount of looting, stealing, or otherwise participating in get-rich-quick schemes, and the expenses that they experienced on a regular basis were nothing short of depressing.
With a sigh, Nami put her things away. It pained her to part with so much of her (technically the crew's, but who was going to argue with her decisions?) hard earned cash. She had procrastinated as long as she could, and now it was time to hand out everyone's pre-island allowances.
xxx
Zoro was first. The swordsman, who had been taking more naps than ever since their adventures on Thriller Bark, was sprawled out on the lawn deck. He almost looked cute with his katana tucked protectively under one arm as he snored softly in the midday heat. Almost being the key word.
"Whaddya want?" he muttered, interrupting her thoughts.
"We're almost at an island. I'm handing out allowances."
Zoro snorted, not bothering to open his eyes. "Yeah, right. You'll just want it all back plus interest. Keep your cash; I don't need anything." Yawning, he turned over, his snores beginning anew.
"I think not." Nami gave his knee a soft nudge with her foot, ignoring his growl, "You're getting the money, whether you want it or not. And you are going to use it to buy new clothes."
That caught his attention. With a grumble, the swordsman sat up and glared at her. "I don't need any damn clothes."
Matching his glare with one of equal intensity, Nami stood her ground. "Yes, you do."
"What the hell's wrong with what I've got?"
"They're completely ruined?" Nami replied in an exasperated tone, "Those white shirts you've been wearing since I met you are so thin they're see-through, those ugly-as-sin pants have been patched so often none of the original material's left, they stink-"
"Hey!" Zoro interrupted defensively.
"You need something new," Nami repeated, smirking.
"You could just sew them up like you always do." Recognizing his mulish scowl, Nami rolled her eyes.
"Idiot, that's what I'm trying to say. I can't fix them anymore. They've fought a valiant battle, but it's time to let them go, unless you want your clothes to fall apart on you in the middle of some fight. I bet the marines would love to get a picture of the infamous Pirate Hunter with his pants around his ankles." Seeing his horrified look, Nami grinned and handed him a small pile of bills, "Excellent, this should be enough for your tastes. Also, I would consider investing in something sturdy. The way you're hard on clothes is enough to make any tailor cry."
Grumbling, Zoro accepted the money. "I suppose this means my debt's increased?"
Grin widening, Nami winked evilly at him. "You know me to well."
"Witch."
"Oh, and one more thing. You are to go shopping with me, Robin, or Sanji," Nami said sweetly.
"What?!" Zoro exclaimed.
"We're pirates, not hobos. Now that we're famous we're going to attract a lot of attention, and the way you dress reflects on all of us."
"And what about Franky?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Give me a little time, and we'll see what happens. Besides, he's not nearly as famous as you are. A hundred million dollar bounty isn't something to sneeze at."
Recognizing that arguing further was a lost cause, he let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a growl. "Fine. I'll ask Robin."
"Excellent. Enjoy your nap." And with that, Nami turned primly (a gesture that was sure to annoy him to no end) and continued on her errand.
xxx
She found Brook next. The newest Straw Hat posed something of a conundrum. Nami wasn't sure what he wanted or needed, or how expensive those things would be. Music was not her area of expertise. On top of that, she wasn't sure Brook knew either. The poor skeleton had been drifting alone for half a century, completely out of touch with the world. It seemed cruel to pose the same restrictions on him that she did on the rest of the crew.
He was sitting in the crow's nest messing with his violin. Nami watched for a moment, fascinated, but quickly reminded herself of her chore.
"Hey, Brook. I just got finished with the budget and was handing out allowances. Was there anything you wanted to buy, like clothes or music?"
Eye sockets brightening (how the hell could a skull be so expressive?) he looked at her. "Why, yes! I request fifty bellis, if you please."
"Fifty? That's it?"
"Oh, that's all I need. After so long the strings of my violin are starting to wear, and I would like to replace them. It is my understanding that finances are tight, and I would hate to be an unnecessary burden. I would pay you back, of course."
"But...fifty?" Nami asked.
"Is that too much? I think I could make due with less."
Oh, he was a sweetheart, wasn't he? Nami hadn't seen it before, with his terrible jokes, worse manners, and perverted personality. "Here," Nami said, handing him one thousand bellis. "I think this should cover it."
He grinned somehow. Never before had there been a happier skeleton in the history of the world. "Oh, Miss Nami, my heart leaps for joy...except I don't have a heart..."
Nami had exited the crow's nest before he finished his joke.
xxx
Robin was in the library pouring over some ancient text or other. Upon entering, the archeologist gave a soft murmur of greeting. A generated hand absentmindedly turned the page, while another took notes from the other end of the desk.
"We'll be docking soon. Is there anything you need?" Robin turned to look at her, but her eyes were distant.
"Hmm? Oh, no…I don't think so. Thank you," Robin said politely, thoughts clearly elsewhere.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, of course. I was just going over some of the notes from Skypea. The ruins there had significant historical relevance. I would have done it sooner, but it's been…" she trailed off, a tiny frown appearing on her face as she remembered their previous adventures.
"Busy?" Nami supplied.
"Precisely."
"Okay. Just as long as you're sure you don't need anything, this is the last call for beli," Nami said, the words sounding weak even to her ears.
The twinkle returned to Robin's eye, and she gave the navigator a knowing smile. "I wouldn't worry on my behalf. I'm sure I'll be able to make due."
Nami laughed and left the archeologist to her work. She was sure that Robin had a secret cache of cash hidden away somewhere, but had yet been able to find it. And she had looked, especially back when Robin first joined. There was no way a woman as savvy and cautious as Robin had bribed her with everything she had stolen from Crocodile…
Shaking her head, Nami went below deck. Robin's financial situation was a quandary for another time.
xxx
Usopp was in his workshop tinkering, and Nami stood at his doorway until he gave her permission to enter. She had seen enough of his experiments blow up in his face to be cautious. After a moment he set down his tools and gestured for her to come in.
"What can I do for you this fine day?" he said cheerfully.
Propping her elbows on his makeshift counter, Nami looked at him seriously. "It's about your request. We're about ready to land, and there's no way I can give you 2000 bellis."
"Oh, come on!" Usopp whined, "I've made both your weapons. You owe me."
"I'm sorry, we just can't afford it. I can give you a grand."
Pouting, he rearranged his tools. "I've seen all the treasure you have. Can't you cut me a break?"
Nami cocked an eyebrow. "And how have you seen? Has someone been sneaking around where they shouldn't have been?"
"No! Of course not!" he gulped, "The Great Captain Usopp would never go into your room. Luffy on the other hand…"
"Don't give me that crap. I know you put Luffy up to that raid on my room last week. You were looking for leverage," Nami accused. Usopp had the gall to look wounded.
"It pains me that you think that, it really does."
"Oh, please. We both know it's true. I can give you a thousand, and you will pay me back, with interest."
Usopp continued to fiddle with his tools as he contemplated the offer. "How much interest?"
"My standard is 200%, but since you had Luffy of all people do your dirty work for you I think I'll bump it up to 300%."
"Come on!"
Nami narrowed her eyes at the long-nosed sniper. "I'd like to see you do the budget sometime. What I have extra is in case an emergency happens. Do you want to be caught needing something important with no money to pay for it?"
Usopp's eyes slid to the ground "No," he said unhappily. Sighing, he looked back up at her again. "Fine, I'll take the thousand, and I'll pay your interest." Nami smiled and handed him his money. She was at the door when his high-pitched voice stopped her.
"Er, Nami? I think you made a mistake. There's fifteen hundred bellis here."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. You should know me better than that; I don't make mistakes when it comes to money" She paused a moment. "And I always pay my debts."
Nami waved off his muttered thanks and started down the hall. Five hundred beli might not sound like a lot, but considering she had been especially kind in not beating him up for the Luffy stunt and had graciously looked past the fact he already owed her a good deal of money already, it was really something.
She couldn't help but smirk to herself. And they said she was unreasonable when it came to her treasure.
xxx
Franky was in the engine room. Unusually for him he wasn't working to keep the Sunny in top shape, but was instead plucking around on his guitar.
"Franky?" Nami asked worriedly. It was unlike the shipwright to be so…quiet.
"Oh, hey sis!" he answered enthusiastically. "Skelly and I were just thinking of having a sing a long later, and I wanted to make sure my guitar skills were as SUPER as ever." All worries dissipated, Nami made a mental note to buy ear plugs when they docked.
"I've got the money for your tools," Nami said, waving a handful of bills in front of her. Franky perked up and went to reach for them, but Nami pulled back and smacked his massive hand away. "Let me finish. I've got the money, if you can justify the cost. I'm not going to throw away perfectly good cash on some worthless experiment that goes nowhere."
"My experiments aren't worthless!"
"Oh? And what about the thermal detonator you and Usopp were working on earlier? Whatever happened to that?"
"Hey, you gotta admit, that worked."
"No, that did not 'work'. The explosion cost three times more to repair than the stupid thing did to make!" Nami said, frustration clear. "I don't know how they ran things on Water 7, but that's not acceptable!"
Franky's amused expression did nothing to ease her temper. "Sis, I told you that I fixed that. If you let me and Long-nose bro repeat the experiment—"
"Absolutely not!" Nami interrupted.
"Then it would have been fine," he continued as if she hadn't said anything. "But getting back to business, you want me to justify the tools I want?"
"Yes," she said tersely, "Otherwise it's not fair to the others."
Franky grinned. "Playing the guilt card? That's low, sis."
Nami lazily fanned herself with Franky's allotment of the budget. "No, it's not. Now get talking, I haven't got all day."
The two spent the next several minutes battling back and forth. Eventually Nami was able to talk him down from a top of the line welding torch and a "super" new power saw to equipment of slightly lesser quality.
At the end of their negotiations, Nami handed himhis money. "There's three thousand there. That should be enough."
"Yeah, I can trade in some older stuff I don't use any more to cover the difference if I need to," Franky said offhandedly. "Hey, I can't help but notice you brought down exactly three thousand beli. You weren't going to give me more, no matter what I said, where you?"
Nami put a hand to her chest in an innocent 'how could you say such a thing' way that didn't fool him for a second. "You don't know that. If you had a really good argument you might have changed my mind."
"Sis, for some reason I find that hard to believe. Totally not super."
With a smile, Nami left Franky to his guitar practice.
xxx
Chopper was hiding (backwards, of course) behind a crate.
"Nami?" he squeaked.
"Hey, is everything alright?"
"Er, maybe? Sanji's really mad."
Nami squinted at the ceiling, as if she concentrated hard enough she would be able to see through the planks. "What happened?"
"I don't know," Chopper said, his knees still shaking. "I think it was something Luffy did."
It was such a likely explanation Nami couldn't even bring herself to be exasperated. "Alright, I'll look into it. Anyways, we're about ready to dock. How are you doing with your medicines?"
"Good, actually," Chopper said as he came out from his hiding spot, "But with the new gardens, I was thinking…" he trailed off shyly.
"…Yes?" Nami prompted after a moment.
"Well, I could grow my own herbs and stuff for my medicines." Scuffing his hooves across the deck, he looked up at her with his ridiculously wide, innocent eyes. Too innocent, in her opinion.
"That's a great idea. How much were you thinking?"
"That's the thing; some of the seeds cost a lot, and are really rare…"
There it was. The catch.
"How much were you thinking?" Nami repeated.
Chopper gave her a number that almost made her faint.
"You're kidding!" Nami exclaimed. The poor reindeer jumped at the volume, once again ducking behind his hiding place.
"Er, no?"
"What kind of rip off…" Nami paused. "Hold on, how much of this stuff are you planning on growing."
By this time Chopper was so intimidated he could only squeak in reply.
"Are you going to need all of it for your medicine?" The squeak rose a half octave in pitch. Nami took that as a no, and a sly grin spread across her face. "Done and done. Come up later and I'll have your money. Oh, and since this is for the benefit of all of us, don't worry about interest."
"W-what? Really?"
"Yes, really. The way I see it we can sell the extra whenever we dock, and suddenly our little herb garden starts turning a profit. It's genius!"
Nami brushed past the shocked reindeer, mentally preparing herself for whatever disaster her captain had managed to cause this time.
xxx
"Nami-dearest, he's done it again!"
"You'll have to be more specific," Nami said, rubbing her temple with one hand.
Sanji had the look of a shell-shocked solder. He sat at the table, haggard and pale, his head in his hands. He couldn't even answer, simply pointing to the refrigerator.
The thing looked like it had been attacked by a wild animal. The door swung open pathetically and a fist-sized hole explained just how Luffy had broken in. The damn thing was empty, its shelves broken and battered.
Nami swore under her breath. Taking a cleansing breath, Nami forced an unnatural smile on her face. Sanji winced at the sight.
"It's okay," she said in a pleasant tone.
"It is?" Sanji asked cautiously.
"Yes, it is." Her smile faltered when she took another look at the fridge. "I've included a Stupidity Fund in my budget. I was saving it for when Luffy bought a bridge to nowhere, but I guess I'll have to spend it on food."
"Nami-dearest, have I told you how beautiful you are when you're smart?"
She gave him another smile, one that was more genuine. "Thank you, Sanji. I'll be back later with your money."
xxx
Marching over to her irresponsible, careless, foolish captain, Nami tried very hard to keep her temper under control. She realized that yelling wasn't always the best way to get the point across to Luffy, but it was so hard. Besides, it felt so much better to smack him.
"Luffy," she began dangerously once his iconic straw hat was in view. His rubber body was comically fat, and he was still chewing on a piece of meat. At that sight all good intentions faded, replaced with righteous fury.
Luffy's eyes widened when he saw her, and he tried to run away. His own stomach got in his way as he tripped over himself, and Nami helped him down with a solid punch to the back of the head.
"What the hell?!" Nami exclaimed with a small feeling of satisfaction as a knot formed under his hat.
"I was hungry!"
"You're always hungery!" Nami cried, throwing her arms in the air. "What are we going to eat tonight?"
"Usopp and I will go fishing…"
"Damn straight you and Usopp will be fishing, or we'll all go hungry." Grabbing him by his vest, Nami jerked him up until their noses were nearly touching. "You're the captain. When you do stupid things like eat all our food, you put the whole damn crew in danger."
Luffy gulped. "But…"
"No buts." Nami dropped him on the ground. "And because of your idiocy, you don't get any allowance for the island."
"Nami…!"
"Nope, no arguing. You've got to learn sometime that actions have consequences. No extra treats for you."
"Fine." Nami was surprised he accepted her verdict so easily. Usually he argued a little bit more than this at her decisions. Maybe he was learning. Luffy looked at her seriously, his somber expression contrasting sharply with his bulging belly. "And we won't be hungry. I promise."
Nami sighed, and she felt herself relax as the anger faded. "We better not, or else I'll start taxing you for everything you eat without Sanji's permission."
"Shishishi, I'd just pay with my treasure."
"You don't have any treasure, idiot."
"But I will," Luffy said simply, adjusting his hat and looking at the sky. Then started to waddle away. "Gotta go find Usopp. He makes fishing fun. Maybe Chopper, too."
Nami shook her head, exasperated. Leave it to Luffy to solve the problems he created himself in a distinctly Luffy-ish way.
Then she went to get Sanji his money. As painful as it was to part with her treasure, it felt good to have the job done. As frustrating as her crew was, they deserved their fair share of their money.
And Luffy was right. Someday they would find One Piece and presumably be the richest people on the planet. What she was handing out now was a pitiance in comparison, with the added advantage of giving her the chance to help her crew in what little way she could. And that was worth more than all of the money in the world