FINAL CHAPTER:

GOLD

I was reading the Bible when he woke up. Perhaps reading is an inaccurate description. I kept going over the same page over and over again but the words didn't remain in my mind for long. They kept sliding off, like raindrops on a windowpane. So much has happened and yet at the same time, nothing has changed at all. No, perhaps I am trying to delude myself. Everything has changed but I just don't want to admit that anything has changed. Change is a fearsome process because it replaces the familiar with the unfamiliar. And I am not accustomed to changing by myself. I always had someone else guide me into changes. First, it was my father, then it was Narbareck and after that it was Tohsaka. And because I was guided through change, I could simply drift through the entire process and come out without feeling a difference. And now, none of them are here to guide me. Even though I am in my own room, I could say that the feeling of home is gone. I feel alone in this city of a million people.

But that is not to say that I am afraid to change. I am slightly anxious about the process itself but in the end, I could either remain frozen in fear or I could take the initiative. It resembles an Apostle Hunt to a similar extent. So I choose to act and take control.

"How're you feeling?" I asked Constantine. I closed the Bible and get up to get him a glass of water. "You should stay down or you'll open you chest wound." I cautioned. His ability to heal had vanished all of a sudden. This could mean that it wasn't his own ability. But whose? Einzbern alchemy? It's the only answer I can think of. And besides, it doesn't hold importance at the moment. The problem was that Constantine's chest had been ripped apart by a wind spell by the Archibald woman. He hadn't even noticed when I had carried him out of the building and by the time I laid him down, he had fainted. The wound had begun closing on its own so I had gone back to rescue the other two magi. It wasn't that I was particularly fond of them. I had recued them because it was the Christian thing to do.

When I had returned to Constantine, I had found that the wound had only partially closed. The blood had started clotting but that was a faint comfort since his ribcage was still open. I had delicately closed his body and carried him back to the church before opening him up again and fixing all the internal damage. It wasn't that easy as I am making it out to be. The only reason I was able to save his life is because my Master, Tohsaka Tokiomi, had made me perform autopsies on various cadavers, ranging from those first generation magi who had torn their own bodies apart to victims of Vampires. I had even treated mundane bodies. Having such an amount of experience under my belt, I was confident I could fix the damage done.

Most of the surgery I performed was merely the act of pushing the organs into their correct places and accelerating the natural healing speed of Constantine's body with my own prana. Stitching the muscles back without causing thaumaturgically initiated tissue necrosis was the hardest action but I somehow managed to do it. For a priest who was barely adept at magecraft, I suppose I had really outdone myself although I suspect that part of the reason why I could do something like this at all was because of the dregs of Constantine's self healing magecraft. Or sorcery trait. I am not sure what it is; this mystery is beyond my comprehension.

However, my thaumaturgically powered surgery gives me no joy. I have saved a life with these hands and have brought the dead back to the land of the living. I would even venture far enough to say that I am proud of my work but I feel no happiness. Just a strange emptiness.

Actually, I also feel slightly angry. Just enough for me to know but not enough to rob me of rational thought. Why had Constantine made a wish without me? I had thought that he would wait until I had subdued the Archibald woman. He could have easily put down the Archibald magus, he was half dead anyways. Why had he touched the Grail without me?

But maybe I am over-thinking this slightly. He was probably panicking and did the only thing that came into his mind. It's possible after all and if it is possible then I should give him the benefit of doubt. Although I can't help but think that he was going to betray me at some point. And if that was so then his plan worked quite well. Handing me the Grail made me lower my guard. All I can do now is bury my anger and ask for an explanation.

"Don't move too much. I have mended your body but I am not certain if it had healed yet." I advised him once more as I helped him drink water.

"Christ, where am I?" Constanine groaned. His eyes are still closed, his eyelashes entangled and gummed together by sweat and grime. He'll have to wash his face vigorously.

"You are in the basement of the Fuyuki Church." I told him.

"Fuyuki?" Constantine said. "Fuyuki." He repeated to himself. "Fuyuki." He said, rolling the word around in his mouth as if he was tasting it. "Is that a city in Japan?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Constantine, yes it is." I answered.

"What am I doing in Japan?" Constantine asked.

"You came here to participate in the Fourth Holy Grail War." I told him. Memory can be muddled when a person wakes up but this is probably the biggest case I have witnessed. One would remember things as significant as the Grail War even if he has just woken up.

"Holy Grail War?" Constantine repeated, his voice getting thicker and thicker. He was probably too tired. I should let him sleep and recover. "SABER!" Constantine yelled and tried to sit up before screaming in pain as his wound reopened a little. I forced him down and pressed the wound together to close up.

"Kotomine? Fuck! What happened? There was a fire! Is Saber alright?" Constantine said as I tried to keep him down without injuring him any further. I had suspected that I had closed the wound improperly. Wind spells are highly damaging to non-combatants and weak magi. My robes protected me from most of the damage but I sport a few bruises where the spells hit me in full force. It's a miracle Constantine survived even after his healing magecraft or sorcery trait ran out. Perhaps he's just that pigheaded.

"Stay calm, Constantine. The War is over. Saber is dead." I informed him. With that news, he stopped thrashing about and lay still, allowing me to properly close his wound.

"How?" he asked.

"I am not sure. I didn't witness it. But since the Grail War is over, there was no reason for the Servants to continue existing. Perhaps that's why." I told him. The Command Spells were gone from his hand which was how I could tell that his Servant no longer existed on the mortal plane. The reason for the end of their existences didn't matter. "Constantine, what did you wish for?" I asked. Perhaps a little too abruptly but I believe that I have the right to do so. I have murdered my own Father for the very prize I have lost. I should at least know of how I lost it.

Constantine remained silent. I patiently waited for him to respond.

"Kotomine, old son, I don't remember what I wished for." Constantine answered.

"I find that hard to believe. You did have quite a fervent wish, as I recall. Something about rescuing a little girl?" I observed.

"I know about that." Constantine snapped. "But I didn't wish for it. I don't remember why but I didn't. I would know if I did because I would feel it in me blood. But there's nothing." Constantine said. I remained standing their impassively. This was disappointing. "What the fuck did I wish for?" Constantine said, a single tear flowing out of his closed eyelid. I turned away. The sight of a grown man crying should entertain me but all I feel is an all consuming white fury.

All for nothing. I killed my father for nothing.

I inhale and exhale quickly before burying the anger deep inside. I should thank John. The only time I ever felt any emotion as intensely as now was when Father told me to abandon the Grail. Even if it is something like anger, it has stirred something inside me. I am not alien to emotion but it was passion, that ever engulfing flood that turns the most rational man towards insanity, that I had lacked. The Grail stirred something inside and now its loss has as well. I take out the hilt of a Black Key and materialize the blade. Should I kill him? I feel angry enough and he has caused me enough loss. I think for a moment before dismissing the thought. Patience is a virtue that's seldom observed by those who should. A spur of the moment decision never pays well in the long run. I put the hilt back in my pocket. I shan't commit murder.

Yet.

"Your body is healing and in a few days, I am quite certain that you will be able to move about on your own." I said. "I will put you on a plane bound to London after that. And I hope we won't meet again." Because I am not sure I would be able to refrain myself from murdering you if I ever see you again. You remind me of my failure, Constantine. You may not have been the Devil that tempted me but I see you as one regardless.

"That would be the best for both of us, I reckon." Constantine muttered. Indeed.

There was a knock on the door. Both Constantine and I stiffened.

"Kirei, I need to talk to you." Rin said. I could see Constantine's expression change. Perhaps he thought Rin was dead. I suppose that would be the probably explanation he would come up with for her disappearance. I left Constantine's bedside and exited my room. Rin was standing in the corridor with her arms crossed.

"I heard voices." She said. I blinked, not really sure what did she mean by that. "Who else is in your room?" she demanded. Ah, so that was what this was all about.

"An acquaintance of mine." I answered.

"What's he doing there?" Rin asked.

"He was injured in the War, Rin, that's why I am nursing him back to health." I answered.

"Who is he?" she asked. "It's not Constantine, is it?" she suddenly asked, her tone fearful. That was a remarkably accurate leap of logic, Rin. Perhaps not one without merit.

"And why would it be Constantine?" I asked.

"Because it's always Constantine!" Rin answered. "He can appear anywhere if he wants to." She said. I suppress a chuckle, the comedy of the situation burning inside me. Constantine had mentally scarred Rin with that kidnapping. This is the second time she has claimed that Constantine had somehow made his way inside the church. I am slightly surprised she is handling it this well. I had been preparing myself for taking care of a very terrified child. Rin's mood swung from arrogantly confident in her combat prowess to badly frightened by shadows. Perhaps I should bring Caren back to act as her playmate after all. If nothing else, it would make taking care of her slightly easier for me.

"Rin, I told you that Constantine can't get into this church without me knowing, didn't I?" I asked her as I knelt beside her. She reluctantly nodded. "Constantine won't ever get into this church by himself. If he ever forces his way inside, I will tell you first. I promise." I said.

"Do you pinkie swear to do that?" she asked. She stuck out the little finger of her right hand. I am quite uncertain on what to do. Hesitantly, I wrapped my own little finger around hers. She was so small and fragile, like a little clay figure in a China shop. It would be easily to break her, to shatter her into a thousand pieces. In a sense, she is already broken and is barely held together by an iron will. An iron will I have never seen before.

And I wish to crack it open . Should I refuse to swear and watch what she does?

No, that wouldn't do. Regardless of how cathartic it would be to see my Master's daughter break, I am sure that it would backfire in some way. The Tohsaka still have some power left. And her Zenjou grandparents will do their best to make my life unbearable. I need to break her apart slowly and carefully. Relish her tarnishing. I can always put the moment off for later.

"Rin," I began to speak before pausing. I need to make the promise flexible enough for me to slip out of it if necessary. "I pinkie swear that if Constantine ever comes back in this church, you would be the first person to know." I finished. That was good enough, I suppose. I don't like lying outright, not even to children. I just hope she doesn't notice that I have used the phrase 'comes back'.

"You mean he is in the church right now?" she asked, her eyes wide with fear once more. I shouldn't have counted on something like that slipping past Rin, I suppose. She is quite unlike her father in some ways. Surprisingly observant.

"Didn't I tell you that it would be impossible for him to come inside this church?" I said. Rin nodded once again. "It's impossible for him to come in here without me knowing. Now go back to sleep." I said.

"But it's morning." Rin said. Wait, it was? It was hard to tell underground. If it was morning now then it was Saturday. And I haven't even prepared the sermon for tomorrow.

There was a knock on the church's main door. The sound was muffled but manage to make Rin jump. Has someone been sinful so early in the morning? It is early morning, isn't it?

"I'll make breakfast later, Rin. Make sure your mother is comfortable. We need to take her to a hospital in London in a few days." I told her as I made my way to the stairs. I ascended to the ground floor of the church. The soft sunlight shining through the stained glass told me that it was almost midday. I crossed the length of the church with a strange feeling in my body. Whoever the guest was, I had a feeling that I didn't want to see them. But that would be the wrong thing to do. A church is always open for the sinners to repent. I opened the door.

"Good morning, Kirei-kun." Matou Zouken smiled back at me. For the longest moment, I considered shutting the door.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"How rude, Kirei-kun!" Zouken said, not looking offended at all. "Aren't you going to invite me inside? It's a cold day and I am an old man."

"No." I answered. "State your purpose and then leave." Zouken's smile didn't leave his face. The only reason I wasn't killing this vampire right now was because of the political storm that would be caused by his death. There was also the problem of I being unaware as to how to kill him.

"I see that your father perished during the War." Zouken said. I stiffened. How did he know? I didn't mark the grave. "Since your father was kind enough to leave a gift to me, I only consider it fair to give his son a warning." He said with an ugly leer.

"Gift?" I asked, my voice sounding extremely hollow. Zouken rolled up the sleeve of his right arm. Covering all of the skin from his wrist to his elbow and going beyond that were a constellation of Command Spells.

"Where did you get those?" I choked. But I already knew the answer. This was something my father had deliberately neglected to tell me. The pile of worms known as Zouken laughed.

"Your father's corpse didn't need them so I decided to take them." He grinned, pushing his sleeve back down. "Truly charitable." The flood of anger that I had held back finally broke through. Two Black Keys were quickly drawn out and thrown, one aimed at his shadow and the other aimed at where his shadow would be. But Zouken simply disintegrated into a mass of flying insects which flew to the church's rooftop and reassembled. "The Grail's cycle has accelerated, Kirei-kun, probably as a side effect of the victor's wish." Does he know who actually won? I doubt that. His system of surveillance is quite wide spread but it couldn't have survived a fire. "Inform the Tohsaka girl. I estimate that all of us will live to see another miracle."

"Why are you telling this?" I asked. He could have kept the information to himself and caught us all unaware when the Grail War would start anew. Why tell us?

"Consider this as an investment for the future, Kirei-kun." The old vampire said. "The Tohsaka are now in my debt with this." He looked down at me, his grin gone. "You will tell the Tohsaka that it was I who told you, won't you? Because if you won't or if you try to take credit for this, I will be severely disappointed." His insects shrilled loudly as he said that, the sound of their wings carrying all sorts of implications.

"I will give the message." I said.

"See to it that you do." Zouken said before breaking apart into a horde of thaumaturgical insects and flying off the church roof. I remained standing there for a few minutes. My anger at Constantine was completely gone now. The Grail's cycle was within reach if the vampire is being honest. There was still hope for me to win the Grail. And this time, I won't depend on Constantine.

I looked up at the clear blue sky. There is still hope.

*Q*

So much shit has happened yet Heathrow hasn't changed. The crowds are the same, the smell of the city is the same, everything is the same. The Grail War, Fuyuki, Japan, all seem like they happened a thousand years ago. But I know and I remember. And I will never forget. Bugger, that's the worst part. That I'll never forget any of it.

I see Kotomine lead the Tohsaka kid and her mother away. I heard him mention St. Bart's. The Tohsaka mother is in a wheelchair but she seems awake. I don't even remember what I did to her. I make way through the crowds, out of the airport and onto the tube. Standing in front of Rick's house, I stopped myself from knocking. Was there even a point to coming here? I don't have Alexander the Great's autograph. Actually, how the fuck did such a coincidence take place anyways? He asks for his autograph and hey presto, the Rider Class is conveniently taken by that guy from Amcedonia. Still, I suppose that I should tell him that I am back in Blightey and not too badly damaged.

I knocked on the door.

After a few minutes of waiting, someone opened it.

"What!" Waver and I yelled simultaneously. "What're you doing here?" we asked each other. This was ridiculous. This is no longer a coincidence. I think I smell a rat. And the rat's name is Westinghouse.

Someone was clapping. Rather vigorously.

"I see that you've met." Rick Westinghouse's voice floated through the partially open door. "Let him in, Waver. It's freezing outside." Reluctantly, the lad stepped aside. The studio was cleaner now. He had finished the painting of the Blue Man from Metropolis and had proudly set it on an easel for everyone to see. That's some pedestal you've put him on, Rick. Would be a shame if he were to fall from it.

"I got all the information about the Grail War from Waver. I paid him with your diamonds to get that sheaf of papers about the War." Rick said with a shit-eating grin on his face. I tried to blink back the sleep in my eyes. Well, wasn't that just wizard? I actually conned. No, I think robbed would be the better word here.

"I never was dancing in the bar that night, was I? I had been on the floor of your house all the time." I asked accusingly. Rick held up his hand in mock defeat.

"Not entirely. You were about to talking about how you murdered a kraut in Trafalgar Square. So I did what any friend would have done and pulled you out. The diamonds, I kept for safekeeping." He said and threw a pouch at me. I caught it and quickly poured out the contents in my palm. Five lustrous gemstones glinted in the evening light. Strewth, I am back in the black now. "I am sorry, Constantine, for tricking you for that. But I needed the two million quid rather badly. I was heavily in Mister Savage's debt."

There was that name again. I had heard it but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"It was still wrong of you to lie to me." I accused him.

"Oh, now that's funny isn't it? Because I remember being stranded in Spain because of a certain misadventure regarding my clothes." Rick said.

"What's this all about?" Waver asked. We both ignored him. I broke away eye contact first.

"Alright, you got a good laugh out of this, I suppose." I admitted. "I suppose the only reason you wanted to send me off to Japan was so that I could get my arse burned out there?"

"Well that," Rick admitted before pulling out a long scroll from his trouser pocket. How did that even fit in there? "And the other reason was so that you could rescue the girl you damned. By the way, did you rescue her?"

The blood in my veins ran cold. Everything had turned to ash back there. I had begun to let the game affect my focus. Controlling it had become much more important than winning it. And even when I did win, I lost. I couldn't even remember what happened when I touched the Grail. The only thing that remains is a vague sense of doom. As if I had merely awoken a sleeping giant and filled it with terrible resolve.

"Fuck off." I said gruffly and strode out of the house. I slammed the door shut behind me. Snow was beginning to fall. I crossed the street and bought a packet of Silk Cuts. Relishing the first real faggot after nearly three weeks of budget brand cigarettes, I sat down on a bench and smoked away. There was a slight pain in my chest as if my left lung had been stabbed with a burning spear but that was probably because of Kotomine's surgery. Bless that old bloke, he went ahead and saved my life even when he could have left me to burn. People like him convince me that this world is worth saving from all those things that keep going bump in the night.

It's a strange world, isn't it? Old John Smith gets up at five in the morning. His wife, keeping the complaint of her husband's poor performance in bed suppressed, nevertheless gets up and makes breakfast. There only kid will sleep until seven before Mrs. Smith wakes him up for school. John Smith, meanwhile, leaves for his office on the Tube where he will get bullied, barked at, have his ego trodden upon, make him fantasize just going postal on his superiors and will punch out twelve hours later. His coworkers will convince him for having an early pint with them but he'll decline. He has to be home for his son and wife. The dutiful man will then make his way back and find his wife in bed with his neighbor. Man snaps and kills them both. Sad story. But London is filled with sad stories.

"Spare change?" An old man in a wifebeater asks. I hand him five quid.

All these sad stories are woven together into a bitter tapestry of life. And that's just the sad stories you can explain. No one knows what to do with the unexplainable. Hell, no one even knows what to with the explainable. John Smith's kid will probably be sent to live with his relatives and soon everyone forgets the story. Until the next John Smith, that is. But that's just how society is, isn't it? It's so damn optimistic that it's willing to shove everything under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist. Mundane or magical, humans would rather not face problems they can't solve. They would rather leave challenges they can't overcome alone. And they laugh and scorn and ostracize anyone who does try because that man is a reminder of what they could be and what they aren't. That's me. I am the man who everyone shuns because I do what needs to be done.

Strewth, I went off on a meaningless tangent, didn't I? But what I am trying to say is that maybe, I am looking at all of this mess all wrong. Instead of having failed to save Astra with the Grail, I could just see it is as me being free to pursue another way to save her. I've got money in my pockets and I've got the brains to do it. And besides, if it's not me who is going to do it, who else is? The Newcastle Crew is dead. No one I know is either competent or willing to undertake the risk. But that's alright because I don't need them anyways.

After all, the hero of a story always finishes the last task alone.

I threw away the cigarette stub. Time to do some research.

*Q*

End of fic.