Fooling Yourself

They took something abnormal, grotesque, inhuman… and changed it so drastically that it could waltz down Broadway in broad daylight and no one would take a second glance. It was breakthrough in science, a medical marvel, plastic surgery at its finest.

AN. This is a prompt. See below for details.

Disclaimer: The Turtles and all their friends are the property of Nickelodeon. I do not own them, but am grateful for the opportunity to use them in the unleashing of my own imagination.

Rating: This story is rated K+ for possible crude language

I spent two years in pain. They took me apart piece by piece, changed me, and put me back together. By the time they were done, I couldn't recognize my own reflection. But they were thrilled. They had taken something abnormal, grotesque, inhuman… and changed it so drastically that it could waltz down Broadway in broad daylight and no one would take a second glance. It was breakthrough in science, a medical marvel, plastic surgery at its finest.

My skin was pale, if slightly olive toned – melatonin treatments.

My fingers – five on each hand now – partial amputations and prosthetics.

My toes… they didn't bother with my toes – shoes.

My face – I have a nose… and ears – reconstructive surgery.

My hair… yeah, I've got hair. It's brown and messy – no idea.

My shell… they took my shell.

I don't know how they did it, but they did. It's a miracle they didn't kill me or paralyze me. I'm pretty sure my back bone ain't really my backbone – another prosthetic probably. Plastron's gone, too – lots of scars though – skin grafts mostly.

And yeah, lots of pain. I couldn't even stand on my own when I got out of there. But at least I got out.

See the funny thing about looking like a human is people think you really are human and you suddenly get these things called human rights. And while Chester and the other scientists were busy celebrating their great success – Tommy, the only friend I had in this hellhole, did what he'd been promising to do since the day we met. He turned those suckers in for human experimentation. And seeing as how I looked and acted totally human, it was my word against theirs when the cops showed up to take them down.

Tommy helped me out – got me a good physical therapist. Once I was doing alright health-wise, he got me a job at the bar his sister worked for. Clare's a doll – widow with two kids, but her husband died young. Jake and Emily love having me over and Clare's makes a mean lasagna.

I think about going home all the time, but Sacramento's a long way from New York City.

I miss my brothers… my father.

They wouldn't even recognize me now.

There ain't nothing for me there. There ain't nothing for me here either. I'm a nobody – just another pub worker, drowning his sorrows, after hours, with his good friend Jack Daniels.

Clare is wiping down the bar.

Tommy is putting away his guitar, having finished his last set with the band.

I think, sometimes, he shoulda just left me to Chester. He shoulda just let me die. Cause I ain't exactly living right now. I don't know how. I spent my whole life in the shadows but surrounded by family. Now I get to live in the light. Never thought the sun would be so lonely.

I reach for my glass… but it's gone. The lights are out. The doors are closed. I feel two hands on my shoulders. I turn to see Clare on my right and Tommy on my left.

"Come on, tough guy." Tommy offers me a hand up.

"Let's go home, Raph." Clare smiles and it's the same kinda smile she's been giving me for weeks. If only I could figure out what it meant.

Tommy chuckles and shakes his head, and I feel like there's some big secret I'm missing out on here. I too tired to worry about it though.

Still, as my only two friends in the world lead me out of the bar, I think maybe it's not so lonely after all.

Get up! Get up!

Get back on your feet!

You're the one they can't beat and you know it!

Come on! Come on!

Let's see what you've got!

Just take your best shot and don't blow it!

AN. I don't usually put these at the end but I figured it would be better here seeing as how it's longer than the story itself. This story first spawned in my head over five years ago and it actually started with the song which is quoted here at the bottom and which also shares its title with this story. For those who don't know, it's by the band STYX (don't own and not affiliated). I was listening to the song one day, a long time ago and I got this sudden image of Raphael, depressed and brooding in a bar somewhere, being inspired by this song to keep moving forward. I think everyone will agree that Raph is not one to just give up.

Anyway, my brain couldn't just leave it there. I had to come up with a back story and, somehow, this is what I got. Just to be clear. Raph is still a turtle. He looks human, thanks to extensive reconstructive surgery (which is entirely made up and completely inaccurate, I assure you. I did no research before writing this story, hence the very vague details) but his DNA and innards are still that of a giant mutant turtle.

Why didn't I write this five years ago when it first popped into my head? I dunno. Probably because I had tons of other unfinished projects I needed to work on… still do actually. Sorry about that. Anyway, that is why this is only a one-shot.

There is a follow up planned… in my head… where it has been for the past five years and where it will probably stay. I actually started writing in hopes of turning it into a challenge for someone else to take on. It turned into to more than that because once my fingers start, they don't like to stop. But here is the challenge part anyway.

Write a sequel to this story.

Anyone can do it and it can go anywhere your imagination takes you. What happens next? Does Raph go back to New York? Does he meet his brothers?

But just in case anyone is curious and wants to try to write it this way, here is my take on what would happen next:

Raph and Clare get married (haven't decided whether or not she should know about the turtle thing) and he adopts Jake and Emily. Clare gets her degree and lands a job in New York City, so they move. Raph decides to stay away from his brothers. It's been too long and they wouldn't know him if they saw him. Plus, other than extensive work outs at the gym, he hasn't practiced ninjitsu since his two years with Dr. Chester. Physical therapy didn't cover that.

Meanwhile, Jake is getting bullied at his new school and he asks his new dad if he can take karate or something. Raph says no. He's seen too many kids in New York City get picked up by the Foot or Purple Dragons after showing the slightest bit of talent for fighting and he can already tell that Jake would be good at martial arts.

Still, that doesn't help with the bullying. One day, after school, Jake gets chased and hides down a storm drain. Being a smart kid, he figures he can make his way home through the sewers and avoid the bullies altogether. But naturally, he stumbles upon the turtles on his way. Rather than being scared, Jake sees his chance with these ninja turtles and asks Leo to train him. After hearing about Jake's situation with the bullies, Leo agrees to show him some basics. Jake is a natural though and Leo decides to continue his training. Donnie is also tutoring him with his school work. Raph and Clare don't suspect anything as the bullying stops and his grades improve.

One evening, Jake lies to his parents, saying he's going to a friend's house to work on a project. Instead, he goes with Leo to see New York from the rooftops. They get ambushed by a couple of rogue Foot and while Leo takes care of things, Jake does manage to hold his own during the brief skirmish. Leo lets Jake keep a Foot shuriken as a souvenir of his first battle.

Next night, Raph discovers the throwing star, sees its symbol and assumes the worst – that Jake has gotten involved with the Foot. Jake is grounded, but he sneaks out to meet up with Leo and explain what happened. Raph follows after him and catches up with him on a rooftop. He's in the middle of lecturing his son, with the kid backed up against a wall, when Leo finds them and, thinking Jake is in trouble, levels his blade with Raph's neck and tells him to back off.

Raph is shocked to hear his brother's voice but quickly puts together that Jake has actually been training with Leo (Jake calls him Master Leo). Still he gets mad at Jake for lying and for sneaking out and he forbids him from training or visiting the turtles. Then he sends Jake home. He turns to follow but Leo stops him.

Leo is confused because Jake's dad seems to know far too much about his family and something about him seems entirely familiar. Finally it clicks in his head and although it seems preposterous, he voices his theory that this man could be his long lost brother. Of course, Raph's reaction confirms it but Raph doesn't stay for a happy reunion. He asks Leo to leave it alone and then goes home.

And that's about as far as I got. A couple more scenarios played out but I wasn't really happy with them. You can probably tell I spent a lot of time thinking about that last scene. Anyway, don't know if anyone wants to take this story, or part of it, and see where it goes, but it is up for grabs. Please let me know if you want to write a sequel. And please review and let me know what you thought about this story/prompt or if you'd like me to write out more one-shot story prompts. This isn't the only thing floating around in my head after all.