'Ello! HSB is here with the finale to An Unexpected Visitor! Whether you cry or cheer is up to you, but I'm pretty darn proud of myself for completing my first real story. One-shots don't count. (Check out my Hetalia one-shot; shameless self-promotion) Either way, I thank you for taking the time to read this weird and unexpected story. There is more to come from the Varia, so not to worry! If you were…okay…I'll shut up and get to the story….awkward.

Disclaimer: I own dis granola bar! Buuuuuut, not Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Why isn't 'hitman' a correctly spelled word!?


An Unexpected Goodbye

It was seven in the morning; too early for this crap in his opinion.

Xanxus sat upon his throne deciphering which of the three subordinates before him was most disposable. He would've just shot all three of them, but then the only remaining ones would be Lussuria and Levi. Yeah. That's not happening.

Bel would ultimately be the best choice in the boss' opinion; especially after his multiple attempts to stab him in his sleep. Shortly after one of the incidents, the prince was beaten like a bed cloth and hung out to dry, literally. Lussuria found his unconscious body the next day near his rose garden…

"Voiii! Were you even listening, boss?!"

"What trash?" Xanxus returned his attention to the three standing in front of him.

"I said that something isn't right about that Atari or whatever her name is."

"Hm, explain." Normally he wouldn't have given Squalo the time of day for such menial complaints, but he had had his own suspicions, too. Levi is a pretty hefty fella and usually you would need more than a salad plate to knock him out cold.

Bel answered first, "Ushishi~ the old lady peasant dodged the prince's knives."

Xanxus was unimpressed.

"Voi! I swear I hit her like ten times but she stood there like nothing happened. You know I don't miss!"

"Che." Their boss was slightly doubtful, though his uninterested expression didn't show it.

"Boss, she was impervious to my illusions…I also expect compensation for her 'changing' me." Mammon shivered as he recalled the disaster.

Now this was something that surprised him. The only people he knew who could dismiss the Arcobaleno's illusions so easily where other illusionists (mainly that creepy Vongola brat) and himself if he really tried. It was still a feat that Xanxus took pride in; after all, you had to stay on top unless mutiny arises and illusionists were a weak point that must be overcome.

The three stood and intently studied their boss, awaiting his take on the situation. They feared Omari turning out to be a venomous adversary and for a serious fight to break out. Though, even more than that, they feared weakness. Honestly, if a little elderly woman harbored tricks that could beat even the finest assassins in the world, well, the entire mafia was in for lot of turmoil. A few minutes later, Xanxus looked up to address them.

"Get up. It's time to finish this. There won't be any scum scheming in my castle."

For once, the Boss of Varia actually stood up to set things straight. Usually that would be Squalo's job as second-in-command, but if there was a possibility of serious conflict it was his duty to end it quick and painfully.

A couple of bloodthirsty grins broke out on Squalo and Bel's faces. They couldn't wait to see their boss tear into the object of their agitation. It's like that feeling you get when the teacher is about to snap on a student you don't like in class and you're like…YAAASSSSSSS.

Mammon just looked at them with an expression of pity mixed with extreme annoyance. He whipped out a wad of cash to calm himself. Still he let a bit of a smirk slip onto that emotionless face. In any case, he wanted to see the spawn of malevolence blown to bits by those X-Guns just as much as the rest of them, if not more.

So the now quadrant began searching high and low, anger coming off of them in waves from the feeling of weakness invoked by little elderly Omari.

xXxXxXxXxXx~In the Garden~xXxXxXxXxXxX

It was an absolutely beautiful day outside the mansion. Spring's excessive heat had begun to wear off since Friday, and replacing it, wonderful nighttime rainfall that made all of the flowers bloom into a shimmering ocean of color. Chrysanthemum, rhododendron, tulips, roses, azaleas, and, if you looked closely, sunflowers were scattered everywhere in organized madness.

Along the stone pathways, Lussuria and Omari took in fresh breaths of air while reminiscing on times past.

"Oh, I remember when you were but a boy, sparring with the grappling dummy after school one day." Omari paused to chuckle a bit at the memory. "Thought you could take it on your own, I came in there at seven to close up - found you crushed on the floor between packaged sand and a hard place."

They burst into a fit of giggles, thinking on how much Lussuria had grown both physically and emotionally.

Lussuria sighed, "Omari, you don't know how much I appreciated you being there, thank you."

Without words, she knew he wasn't referring to that incident alone. As a child, no one gave him the love and affection he needed to find himself. When Omari came into his life, everything changed for him. He was no longer looked at as a confused teenager. He had become a man (though doubted) who was confident in his choices and didn't let teasing mold his life. Yes, confidence was what he needed – something Omari gave him for free.

"And thank you too Luss, for bringing light and meaning to my life."

With a dying husband and a dead end job, Omari didn't think there was much left to her life. At the time, the mafia had been nothing but a last resort when rent money was scarce. Then one day, this kid with eyes that exerted distress and hopelessness, ambled into her shop asking to learn Muay Thai. She chuckled at him, and did the impossible. She taught resolve…in the face of indecision.

They embraced.

They pulled apart.

They heard footsteps.

The elder of the two was in the process of turning around when she felt the distinct feeling of a metal barrel against her forehead.

"Freeze, trash."

Xanxus smirked in flagrant victory. After scouring the whole manor and not finding any jolly old ladies, they were beat. Literally, Xanxus got so frustrated that everyone ended up getting to see what a pistol whip tastes like. According to Bel, the flavor is a mixture of metal, hair products (Squalo got hit first), and rage.

Thankfully, Mammon had enough common sense to go outside.

So here we are!

A few seconds had passed from the time when Xanxus first pulled his gun on Omari, and Squalo and Bel are beside themselves waiting for the blood to start pouring. Yet, what happens is something so expected that it was unexpected. Omari, even at gunpoint by perhaps the most dangerous Mafioso in the world, was Still. Freaking. Smiling.

"That's so creepy," Bel murmured.

"Tch! You're one to talk," the swordsman countered.

Xanxus on the other hand was just plain irritated.

"What are you smiling at…old trash." He demanded, dubbing her with an oh-so-original nickname in the process.

"Oh I'm just basking in the ambiance!" –Mammon cuts in. "There's a fee for that."-" Assassins are so docile in real life, only becoming aggressive in a mission to salvage their pride, especially swordsman."

"Damn straight! I got more pride than all of you put tog- Did you just call me a swordsman?" Squalo paused.

She chuckled, "Yes, Squalo. Although I admit, it was quite amusing to see a combatant like yourself in such a tizzy~."

The mentioned man was scowling at the maybe-not-so-harmless-but-it-depends-on-how-the-story-plays-out old lady.

"What are you playing at old trash?" Xanxus' arm was getting a bit tired (not that he showed it) and he was hungry. And when Xanxus is hungry…

During this entire mess, the prince was, for the first time in his life, confused. Cue the simultaneous gasps! He didn't understand what this lady's deal was. In the beginning, he presumed that she was just an aged version of Lussuria. Then all of a sudden she goes all martial arts on him; and yes she was definitely sonic-speedy (don't make fun Mammon, this is legit). But this…this takes the cake! She's all professional and chummy with the Varia now!?

So the teenage assassin used the typical solution when he was perplexed.

SHING! SHING! SHING!

As you could probably guess, she dodged them. "Mou~ that was rude." Omari dusted off her neat yellow cardigan.

"Ushishi~ if you didn't know, I'm a prince…" He smiled feeling as if he got his point across pretty well.

They stood waiting for a couple moments. Wait, do you hear a foghorn in the distance? Oh, it's just-

"VOIII! Finish your freaking sentences you-"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"How about an early lunch?" Let's take a second to marvel at Squalo's ability to go insta-civil.

"Sounds like a good ide~a." The sun guardian and his guest harmonized.

"Ushishi~ you know what goes up must come down."

And on that note, they ran like hell into the mansion.

xXxXxXxXxX~Back in the Dining Room~xXxXxXxXxX

Lussuria was an exquisite cook. Some days the rest of the Varia wonder if that was the real reason Xanxus hired him. Everyone knows that he likes his food (Note: BANG! BANG! BANG!). Martial arts seemed like a hobby in comparison. And the best way to start off your day as an assassin was with his prized stuffed pancakes.

Plump fresh fruits meshed in with a sweet cream sauce that melted your taste buds all encased into two brown cakes of sweet fluffy goodness. Oh, nothing compared to the smell of the crisp buttered surface, and the ripe honeyed berries plucked straight out of the Varia gardens. It was essentially life's happiness squeezed into a mouth-watering confection.

Anyone in the squad who denied the joy it brings would be as great a liar as Pinocchio. But of course, there were always those who enjoyed this particular breakfast a bit more than others.

Smack. Squelch. Gulp. Slurp. Repeat.

The second-in-command of the Varia stared in poorly masked disgust at their youngest member. The entire visible half of Bel's face was stained a cherry red as were his fingers which he lapped clean before downing half of his glass of milk. Because God forbid he might stain the glass.

Everyone else at the table relished their meal in complete ignorance of the teen's eating habits. This was the Varia, it didn't matter anyways. It bothered Squalo though. He again cursed his luck of getting seated across from Bel when his absolute favorite meal was up for grabs. For the reason that apparently in the twisted kingdom he's from the use of table manners is a heinous crime.

No, Squalo wasn't just disgusted. He was repulsed and slightly offended at the audacity the little ingrain had to let strawberry juice spew out of his mouth into his hair. This really wasn't his day. First he got pistol whipped for trying to help that ridiculous boss of his, then the old hag reveals that she has brains, and now there is freaking strawberry spittle in his freaking hair. Why? No, it's not even a question anymore, it's a fact of life. Why.

Bel, on the other hand, was not oblivious to his actions. In fact, the sole purpose of eating the stuffed pancakes so sloppily was to spite Squalo so that he couldn't peacefully enjoy his own. It was one of the many perks of living with Prince the Ripper.

I guess you couldn't say that everyone was ignorant to the exaggerated masticating. Omari's old lady instincts where on the run to sense overlooked table conduct. She gave two sharp raps on the tabletop to gather the entire company's attention.

"Basta guardare a tutti voi. Un tavolo pieno di disgrazie."*

She then stood up and exited the room, leaving everyone in stunned silence. As you could guess, Squalo was the one to break it.

"VOOIIIII! After all of that crap we put her through, table manners is where she draws the line!?"

Mammon shook his head in exasperation.

"Ushishi~ told ya we should've killed her~" Bel was the only one still eating his stuffed pancakes.

Levi stood up. "She has disrespected Boss. Don't worry Bossu, I will deal with her." He valiantly walked out the dining room and into the hallway Omari went through.

Lussuria sat with his lips pursed together into a small smile. All eyes were on him waiting for…anything. He hadn't exactly explained much about her since she came. Now with the random outbursts and whatnot they were becoming suspicious. To be honest, all he knew was that she was an old friend who came to visit before traveling to Japan.

"I-"

I swear no one gets to finish their sentences in the Varia.

Levi scurried in through the doorway before Luss could get another word out. His eyes locked onto Xanxus' in pure anxiety.

"It's an invasion."

The glass in his boss' hand shattered to pieces as a flame began to steadily build in its place. Once the fireball intensified, he hurled it into the wall Levi had previously stood against.

On the other side of the wall – in perfect action movie form – stood a collection of men consumed in black uniforms leaving only their eyes in view.

Bel finally took a break from his stuffed pancakes in order to stand atop his chair and point over to the group.

"Ninjas!"

The Varia sprung into super slow-mo combat.

Xanxus stood up kicking the table out of his way. Levi dived over it, whipping out his parabolas as he did in order to shield his boss from an oncoming attack as Xanxus prepared his weapons. He twirled the two X-Guns around his index fingers; charging them up to full power in brilliant waves of energy, took aim and released a hellfire of raging bullets in and about the loyal subordinate.

Going from motherly into attack mode, Lussuria flashed from ninja to ninja disabling each of them with swift punches and iron clad knees to the nethers. A ninja star comes millimeters close to slicing off his nose but takes a nip of his fringe instead. Releasing a blood-curdling battle screech, the Muay Thai master rains down onto their skulls with gravity defying vertical kicks.

Prince the Ripper has herded a mob of horrified attackers into a corner. He flashes a face-tearing grin as he moves his unique knives into that famous mystery dance using his genius network of spider silk laced wires. At the drop of a dime, they are propelled forward creating a massacre of ghastly beauty; splatters of vital fluid streak his manic face.

A group of men run behind him. Their expressions are that of those who have witnessed a nightmare. They continuously look back as horrific creatures chase them to the depths of insanity. A form of insanity so deep it hails death. Though in some twisted humor, it is only a baby clad in a black hood that follows them.

Glints of silver are all that some see before a stunning blade gracefully snatches their life away. Though few stay long enough to hear a fear inducing yell; the more experienced ones know their fate. They know that the dreaded shout resonating through the walls is the distinct 'Voi' of Superbi Squalo – the Sword Emperor.

Within a few minutes their work is done. The Varia rendezvous in the meeting hall where they discuss serious matters.

"What the hell was that!?"

"Ushishi~ it was obviously an invasion, Squ-chan,"

"I stated that in the beginning before the attack began, this is reason for you to believe that I should be second-in-command in place of-"

"Shut up."

"Yes, bossu."

"Sun trash, you have forty-five seconds." *the sound of a safety clicking off*

"Mu~ I'm not exactly sure what went wrong…"

"Well, 'what went wrong' just cost us a fortune in damage, mostly from overly exaggerated carnage."

"Ushishi~ I can't help it Mammy, the prince was having so much fun~"

"Lightning trash, secure the grounds."

"Psh! For them? They weren't even worthy of my sword, bunch of training dummies if you ask me."

"No one asked you."

*offensive Italian gesture involving an upward fist motion*

"Fifteen seconds…"

"Ah! I have an idea. Why don't I just go get Omari~,"

"No need Luss honey."

All eyes swivel to the entrance of the meeting room. There in complete confidence of not being ripped into pieces by thoroughly pissed off assassins stands Omari.

"Speak of the devil,"

"Oh, Squalo I'm no devil, just an appraiser."

"Appraiser?" They all ask in unison.

She chuckles, "Yes, allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Omarissa Pegliasco. The official Vongola Skills Appraiser."

At the word Vongola, they all decide to take a better look at their newfound ally. Omarissa Pegliasco is a completely different person than the Omari they're used to; figuratively speaking of course. She wore a navy blue dress suit with a white collar peeking out at the top, hinting to a white dress shirt underneath. Her loafers had been replaced with a pair of regal looking heels to match her outfit.

But not only was her physical appearance changed, but her aura was more authoritive (A/N: It's a word!) and less grandmotherly. From the first time they'd seen her she stands taller, her bun is pulled back tighter, and she seems way more intelligent.

After observing all of this, the Varia's eyes dart for verification which she provides with a point towards her breast pocket. The golden Vongola seal stands out proudly. Damn, she's legit.

Thus she begins her explanation, "As you may know, I was at one point, Lussuria's tutor."

Squalo nods, "That explains the reflexes…"

She shoots him a sharp glare.

"Sorry, ma'am"

"Ahem," she continues "I worked in a Muay Thai dojo for all my life, never got into the real world. I didn't really need to, you see my husband worked in Italy's security department, and was used to taking care of the business affairs, where he often encountered the mafia. After about twenty years, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. During which, I taught Lussuria to distract myself when I wasn't with him in the hospital. As cancer goes, he didn't live long after that and passed away. I was considering moving to one of those old folk communities. I never liked them, but it seemed like there wasn't much of a choice. I was nearly finished packing when I got a call to meet some people under the town bridge at midnight. As sketchy as it was, I complied. There I met a group from the Vongola. They told me about some unfinished treaties that my husband was involved in."

"Hush money." Xanxus commented.

"I suppose so," She gave him a look, but other than that gave no reprimand. "They weren't sure what to do with me. I knew some valuable information that they didn't want getting out, but apparently my spouse was a good friend, so they wanted to keep me alive. In the end, the problem went all the way up to Nono who offered me a position in the Honorable Association of Guidance Strategists."

"Ushishi~! A position in the H.A.G.S."

Thwump. A pen bounced off of his 'royal' skull.

"Ouch."

"Yes, and following a little training, I was elected Vongola Skills Appraiser."

"Oh~, Oma-chan! You didn't tell me that you'd become so successful!" Lussuria ran in for a hug which was gladly accepted. "But what are you doing here?"

"Why appraising of course! The Varia aren't excluded from these things you know." She slowly merged back into her old personality.

"Oh~, did we pass?" Lussuria began to wiggle his hips in excitement.

"Gah! Shield your eyes!" Squalo and Bel tried to salvage their innocence.

Xanxus moved beside the over flirtatious man. With one arm he pushed Luss so far into the wall that he tasted the sweat from the construction men. "Did we pass trash?" Bravo to Xanxus for showing some respect and not calling her old!

"Yes, as expected from your squad."

He simply grunted and walked away to find some tequila and orange juice, he was feeling celebratory. Levi followed him like a dog. (A/N: Did I really need to put that? We can all assume.)

"Voi! Wait, what was the test."

She casually walked over to the swordsman and stroked his silver locks as she answered. Squalo stood there extremely uncomfortable. She didn't even look at him, she looked at his hair!

"I came here to judge by the way the family interacted, what kind of training you all applied, your diets, though I could already guess that, and sudden combat responses."

"We failed at all of those except the last one." He deadpanned.

"True, you seem to hate each other, there aren't any training schedules, and the eating habits in which you partake are terrifying, but you pass."

"The prince doesn't see your reasoning." Bel popped in beside Omari.

"I don't really see it either. There's just something about the Varia style that makes it work." She smiled at them all. "I take it you're not the type for hugs."

Lussuria and Bel threw themselves in for embraces. "Oh~? Is this Prince the Ripper I see hugging me."

"Ushishi~ the prince likes you. Loving old ladies are annoying, the sassy ones I can handle."

With a groan Squalo gave in too, though only a side-hug.

She looked up at the mist guardian who had been silent throughout the whole ordeal.

"I see you're still not quite ready to forgive." Omari looked towards her suitcase and then back at the Arcobaleno. With a wink, a deal was made.

"Yarr, yarr…" he came to rest upon her head and reach down for an awkward hugging action. "We're all happy now aren't we."

xXxXxXxXxXxX~At the Front Door~xXxXxXxXxXxX

The limousine was parked in the U driveway; the driver sat admiring the fountain in the center while waiting for his passenger to finish saying her goodbyes.

To Omari's surprise the entire squad came to see her off. She was convinced the only reason Xanxus and Levi came was to make sure she left, but the gesture was nonetheless appreciated. Mammon was also present for due compensation; in a hefty amount, too. The Vongola sure know how to pay.

Many tears were shed…by Lussuria and only Lussuria. Omarissa tried to reassure him that he could visit the Vongola estate anytime, but it didn't help. After a few failed attempts, he leaned in and told her he was doing it to impress the limousine driver because he was 'so hot'. Her response was that the 'so hot' guy was married with children. The crying was over in an instant.

"It's been so nice seeing you, Oma-chan. Where are you going after this?" He asked.

"Well, I have one more appraisal to do in Japan before I return home. It's a very important one, too." She smirked as an idea came to mind.

"Voii, really? I suppose it will go just like this one did. You'll move in, appraise them, and then test their sudden combat skills, eh?" Squalo caught on to what she was implying.

"With the entire group? Where there can be theoretical rematches." Mammon added. This perked Xanxus attention which in turn perked Levi's attention.

"Mhmmm." They all kept simultaneous eye contact until the question was finally asked.

"Ushishi~ may we be of some assistance?"

"Well…you did ask politely." She agreed, watch out.


If you ever see me refer to Mammon as a girl, it's because in nearly all the fanfics I read he is addressed as so. I do NOT actually think he is a girl. It just slips sometimes.

*A quick translation for ya! - Just look at you all. A table of disgraces.

So thaaaaaank y'all sooooo much! *o* This has been such a great experience. I loved trying out the different writing styles in here. But of course all great things come to an end.

In my intro I said that there would be more to come from the Varia (and KHR in general) so stick around to check some of that out. As a matter of fact, I think the first chapter for my next multi-chapter will be coming out in a few days.

Okay enough lovey-dovey, time for my goodbyes!

Don't forget to drop a review on your way out!

This is HomeSkiletBiskit typing out~!

Ciao~!