That night he decided to explore the castle. There were, after all, secrets that could only be found at night. Besides, he needed to work on his stealth skills.

He'd just found the third of the secret passageways from his books, when he heard a shout. He turned and saw Harry, Ron and… Hermione? Running towards him. He shugged mentally and followed. Why not?

They piled behind a locked door and waited for Filch to leave. Unfortunately, there was also a Giant Cerberus where they were hiding. Neville immediately put his hands over Ron and Hermione's mouths.

He spent what time he could analyzing the room.

When Filch was gone they slowly backed out, locked the door, and went back to Gryffindor Tower.

Neville was deep in thought when he heard, "Didn't you see what it was standing on?"

"Trap door, Probably Guarding something. Perhaps…"

"Speaking of which. Neville! What were you doing out after curfew!?"

"Family Tradition."

Her jaw fell open in shock. She probably wasn't expecting that one.

"I was making sure I knew where all the secret passageways are. I need to do it before I re-found the After Hours Club."

Her eyes widened… she seemed scandalized. "Are you insane! You could get killed! Or worse, expelled!"

"Dumbledore doesn't expel people unless they complete a murder. Even attempted murder is covered up and forgiven. I don't plan on killing anyone, so I should be fine."

Now all three of them were shocked, "I'm seroius. That's how it works. Ask the older years if they've heard of anyone being expelled, and what they know has been caught but the culprit didn't get expelled."

The three of them were staring at him in silence. He sighed, "I'm going to bed now; see you in the morning."

[Scene Break]

The next month and a half was quite productive. He obtained all of the Flats, save Moon, and had a nice little gossip ring going. Susan Bones would occasionally hang out with him, also to swap information.

Neville was still finding all of the passageways, but he (and Hermione by proxy) could now get to all of their classes in half the time. Seriously, if Hermione decided to become a teacher, she would be a terror who showed up out of no where at the worst times.

He spent one night a week with Harry 'studying Herbology' aka helping him with his homework. Ron did not want to join, so they got an hour of work, and a couple more of just hanging out and chatting, or playing exploding snap.

Hermione still wasn't talking to either Ron or Harry.

This reached a boiling point when Hermione taught Ron the spell in Charms, and he responded by sniping at her behind her back. Where she heard him. Hermione wasn't in the next class.

Neville used his great powers of deduction, and asked the other girls where she was. She was in Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom. It made sense, no one goes there otherwise, and you can cry in peace. Unofficially, boys were allowed in if they too needed to mope… it wasn't like anyone would catch them.

He knocked on the stall, "Hermione?"

She sniffed, "What are you doing in a girl's bathroom, Neville?"

He snorted, "No one cares, this is the Bathroom of Emotional Turmoil. The rules are to mind your own buisness or leave. That is it. No one checks. Do you need a hug? Crying means hugs right?"

She opened the stall, hugged him, and cried until she couldn't anymore. Fortunatly, he was able to maneuver he back into the stall in a sitting position before his legs collapsed, "Did you finish crying the sadness out?"

She looked miserable, "Maybe."

Neville nodded, "Realize that emotions are stupid. They do not listen to logic, and are perfectly valid in all circumstances."

She looked back at him exasperated, "Is this another 'people are stupid' rant?"

"Yes, now pay attention. Ron is male. He was raised male. Thus he reacts like a typical male in our culture. He is not allowed to cry when he is upset. As such, he vents. This makes him act like a prat. Anything said while he is being a prat can be safely ignored, because it is his emotions talking, you follow?"

"I made him boy-cry?" She asked.

"One of the sub-varients, but yes."

"I should probably apologize… what am I apologizing for?"

"Making him look weak in front of an audience. Mostly by assuming he was too weak to accomplish the feat himself. However, he may not know this. You should probably replace 'weak' with 'bad'. Also, do it in private, he'll act more authentic."

She blushed, "Okay."

This was about when they heard grunting. Neville stiffened, and automatically put a hand on Hermione's mouth. He looked under the stalls… those were not human legs.

He removed his hand from Hermione's mouth. This proved to be mistake because she screamed as soon as she saw the thing, "Hermione! I'll distract it; go get a teacher!" He proceeded to get it's attention with said shout and started dodging. It's club.

She ran towards the door, only to have it open revealing Harry and Ron. Harry ran up to it and leaped on it's back. His wand went up it's nose which again distracted it. Ron was frozen, but suddenly just, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Every part of that spell was perfect. The Troll's club floated above it head. Ron dropped it again in surprise. Knocking the Troll out cold. Neville couldn't believe how lucky they were.

When McGonagall and Snape showed up they looked worried.… and Hermione lied. To their faces. They got a net gain of 10 points though. Fun stuff!

This had an added benefit of being male-speak for friendship. From his understanding women did something similar, but he was still trying to learn basic female-speech. He'd gotten good at a neutral version, but the intricate Web of female types and how they communicate to make a cohesive whole? Still not working. Stupid gendered upbringing!

AN: I am unsure if the same bathroom is technically Cannon or not. I kinda like the Idea of Myrtle having domain over a Bathroom of Doom though.

Also, my brother speaks girl. Not perfectly, but girls don't speak girl perfectly either. He speaks girl because he is the only boy among 7 sisters. It helps that most of us think the games girls play are stupid, so he was able to get the basics down. Come to think of it, my dad's pretty proficient at it too.

Mini-Neville Omake

Neville was working in his green-house, calmly pruning some dead branches when he hears a $here mousy, mousy, mousy.$

He looked around, and saw a garden snake just as it caught a mouse. He looked at it swollow it's prey. $Did you just talk.$

$ Yes? $

It seemed unsure. $ What is your name? $

$ What Name? $

He tilted his head, $ I'll call you Mouseslayer, would you stop the mice from eating my plants? $

The snake looked back at him, $ catch mice in warm den? I can do.$

$ Thank you. $

Neville promptly looked up talking snakes, encountered information on Parseltounge and decided to never speak of his ability ever… just in case.