Chris Carter's Season 6 Resolutions, a x-files fanfic

CHRIS CARTER'S SEASON SIX RESOLUTIONS

Title: Chris Carter's Resolutions

Author: Catriona McKenna [email protected]

Rating: PG

Category: Weird, Stupid, pointless and pending MSR

Disclaimer: I am not CC. Seriously! No offence intended at Chris. I worship you (even though you make that very hard sometimes.)

Archive: Anywhere – just let me know and keep my name attached.

Summary: Chris Carter's makes his season six resolutions.

Notes: I just got this idea tonight. It took me 15 minutes to write. Don't expect a masterpiece. I am continuing ' Searching for the Truth' I just had to write this story ( if you can call it that) first.

Feedback: would be appreciated and good will sent out in return. Flames will be used to light CSM's cigarettes.

Thanks: to my brother Patrick for being my beta reader.

CHRIS CARTER'S SEASON SIX RESOLUTIONS

Turn Diana Fowley into the most annoying character on the X Files. Make her so evil and annoying that she will manage to piss off shippers, noromos, fence sitters, the casual watcher and Vince Gilligan all at once.
Annoy shippers with a very anti-shippy episode. If possible this anti-shippy episode should follow a shippy one. (So they don't see it coming.)
Annoy noromos and fence sitters and the casual viewer. If possible this episode should be the same one that pisses of the shippers.
Hype two episodes, as the one's where we will get some answers. N.B these episodes should give no actual answers.
Annoy Frank Spotniz by singing the most annoying songs when we co-write the mythology episodes.
Remember to see about getting a desk for Scully. Scrap that – we will give Scully her own office. But we will not show it. ( Save $$$)
Come up with cool idea for season finale. (If all else fails, get David to practice his best 'I'm dying impression's or alternatively his 'I'm dead' impression.
Write a fanfic
Annoy shippers ( continued) Annoy them by having an anti-ship 'arc'
Make shippers happy- by ending anti-ship 'arc' with a very shippy episode
Have Mulder and Scully kiss but with a catch. Think different time realms etc…
Let DD write an episode. (Do NOT let him sneak in a kiss.)
Clear out office
Update official site more than once a year
Let Mulder and Scully hallucinate ( just for the hell of it)
Annoy Vince by stealing his glasses and hiding them.
Read more fanfic
Script traditional ' I don't want Mulder and Scully to get involved statements' and get different writers to say them
Write shippy episodes ( As practice for NEXT season)
Drop subtle hints for next season when Mulder and Scully will [ WARNING NEXT WORD(S) ARE ENCODED] $%^* *&^$£ $*%(^)$*£*"&&*£&$*"(~@$:%{}+
Beat David at baseball
Update 'master plan'
Throw paper at John Shiban continually
Cut down on Scully's wardrobe ( Save more $$$)
Do not at any stage mention the ' Hallway' scene that took place in the movie.