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"Alright, I think that we're done here," Jace announced with a proud gin on his unnaturally handsome face.

Two cheers sounded – one for the fact that all the demons that had attacked Hogwarts had been destroyed, the other for the fact that the transfers were finally leaving.

Students lined the halls with bright smiles and occasional hugs for the Shadowhunters (though most stayed away from the glittery Warlock and his broody boyfriend). Dumbledore met them in the Great Hall, a welcoming (if somewhat strained) smile on his wrinkled face.

"My friends," he began as the students rushed to take their seats at each respective table. The Shadowhunters (including one glittery Warlock and one not-glittery vampire) stood in the middle of it all, staring straight down at the Headmaster, heads held high.

"My students," Dumbledore said. "We have prevailed! As of now, I can safely assure you that we have won this battle!"

The cheer that went up was deafening – even the students at the Slytherin table looked slightly less-gloomy than before the battle. While some were scowling, most just looked happy that they hadn't been ripped to pieces by the out-of-control demons that quite a few of their parents had released onto them (which had seemed like such a good idea at the time).

"It is all thanks to the sheer magnificence of our friends – your classmates – the transfers from the New York Institute, the Shadowhunters!"

More cheers. It took a while for silence to prevail.

"And now, I must thank each one of these marvellous people for their commendable actions during the Demon Invasion of Hogwarts" – as it was then after known as – "For was it not for their brave actions, I fear that grave peril may have fallen upon us all –"

"WAIT A MINUTE!"

The Great Hall fell silent, though an inaudible murmuring could be felt through vibrations around the room. In strode a very irritated fourth year by the name of Nigel Wespurt* (who had been spending time within the Headmaster's office during the Invasion, thanks to a timely explosion during Potions, courtesy of his best friend Bem*). However, it didn't really matter who walked through the doors – rather, the more important fact was what was on his head.

The Sorting Hat.

"You have all been told terrible, terrible lies!" it announced from its perch atop Nigel Wespurt's head. "Dreadful lies! These people standing before you are NOT heroes!"

No dramatic gasps ensured – that was alright, though, because the Sorting Hat was far from done.

"They are the instigators of the Frog Hopping competition that led to three trips to St Mungos and an increase in the number of calming draughts that Professor Snape was forced to brew – they are the reason behind those terrible lace doilies that sit underneath you eating utensils even as I speak – they are why no one can ever look at a parakeet" – a collective shudder went around the room – "The same way ever again!"

"In my defence," Jace started. "That parakeet" – more shuddering – "Didn't look anything like what it was advertised as."

"Let it go, Jace," Clary muttered. "We're almost out of here, and no one's been seriously maimed yet. I'd say that's a record – one I want to hold."

"But even if that wasn't enough!" the Hat continued dramatically, mentally prompting Nigel Wespurt to walk towards the front of the Great Hall. Hundreds of eyes followed the poor boy avidly, expressions ranging from horrified to disturbed to annoyed to hungry (though that could have just been Ron Weasley – that boy always had such an appetite, the Sorting Hat thought almost fondly).

"If that wasn't enough," the Hat repeated, "Then they had to go and cover the Owlery in glitter" (to be fair, that was mostly Magnus Bane's fault, but the rest of the lot were guilty by association, as far at the Sorting Hat was concerned) "Which not only made a massive mess, but also led to a high increase in the number of students seeking out therapy!" Why a student would need therapy after going into a glittery Owlery the Sorting Hat had no idea – unless, of course, it was just the stick that broke the camel's back. It would sympathise, what with the students being exposed to Magnus Bane for the better part of a year.

Anyone would need therapy, after that.

"Hat…" Dumbledore started to say.

"No! No, old friend, enough! I cannot stand by and let these – these – these…" the Hat seemed to struggle to come up with something insulting enough to call them. "These creatures be cheered at as heroes! They have nearly destroyed the school! Twice!"

"The second time was an accident!" Izzy scowled.

"Which was your fault," Jace looked accusingly at his adopted sister. "Like that whole issue with the Spice Girls. People keep pointing and laughing at me now!"

"They'd point and laugh at you anyway," Clary muttered. "Idiot."

"They would do no such thing! If it hadn't been for Izzy, people would fall to my feet and be dazzled by my ravishing good looks…"

"Or half the guys would have just tried to kill you out of jealousy," Simon suggested. "If it weren't for those mocking cackles, I think that most of them would have had a go at you."

"You mean have a go for me- right, Alec?" he gave his best friend a winning smile, that faltered at Alec's Glare of Doom. "Too much?"

"A little bit, yeah."

Jace had the good sense to look faintly alarmed. "Please don't sic your very strange and slightly terrifying boyfriend on me. That wasn't meant as an insult. Really."

"Most things never are with you, Jace," Alec sighed – though, when Jace's head was turned, he exchanged a quick smirk with Magnus.

"We have faced numerous perils, here at Hogwarts!" the Sorting Hat railed on. "Much blood and gore and death – but these children, these wicked, horrible children – they have brought here nothing but misery and grief! They have brought trauma and terror! They must be kicked out!"

"Ahem!" Dumbledore quickly bent down from his podium to snatch the Hat away from Nigel Wespurt's head. "Please go and sit at your table, Nigel."

The boy rushed off, face almost as red as his hair.

"Headmaster Dumbledore…" the Sorting Hat began, voice pleading.

"Enough, old friend," Dumbledore said, firmly yet gently. "I am about to ask these kind saviours to leave the premises and go back to New York. Jace, in particular, has been waiting for this pronouncement for some time."

The Hat paused. "Oh."

"Now, if you would let me get on with my speech, we can have a lovely celebration feast, and they can be gone as early as tomorrow morning. Would that suit you, old friend?"

The Hat thought about it. "Yes," it said after a long moment of deliberation. "That would suit me very well."

"Good." Dumbledore placed the Hat on top of his podium and addressed the students once again. "And now that that is out of the way – let us eat!"

"Food!" Ron grinned at the dazzling display of edible things that appeared on the plates before him.

"Strange," Hermione muttered. "I didn't think that the house elves would have time to cook this up. We just finished fighting off a Demon Invasion" (a term which certainly deserved Capital Letters) "Where did they get time to do the cooking?"

"Maybe they ordered in?" Harry said with a shrug.

"Can house elves order in food?" an annoying (yet somehow attractive) voice said from behind them. "Where would they get it from? How would they transport it?"

"Jace?" Clary said with a sigh, sitting herself down next to her insufferable boyfriend. "Do me a favour and shut it."

"How you wound me, my fair – ouch! Hey, it's impolite to stab other people with eating utensils!"

"That never stopped you from going at Simon."

"Simon doesn't count," Jace muttered sulkily.

"And why doesn't my best friend count?"

"Because he's Simon!" Jace insisted.

"Because that's a good reason." Clary rolled her eyes and piled her plate with food. "Phew, I'm starved. I haven't seen that many demons in a long time – how 'bout you, Jace?"

"Piece of cake," Jace bragged, shit-eating grin clamped firmly on his face. "Getting a little rusty there, apprentice?"

"Shut it," Clary grumped, chewing on some roasted potatoes. "These are really good."

Over by the Hufflepuff table, Simon was having a very interesting time mediating between his insane friend (Luna) and his equally insane girlfriend (Isabel), both of whom had decided inexplicably to come and eat with him.

"I love your hair," Isabel said to Luna, completely ignoring an increasingly uncomfortable Simon. "I could do wonders with it, if you'd let me."

"I do not think that the Jackalopes would appreciate that," Luna said in her usual dreamy voice. "Though I thank you for the offer. I could make you a very fine necklace, to ward off the Blibbering Humdinge that seems to like your boots."

"Thank you," Izzy said. "I think."

Simon just groaned silently and cursed life for ever sending him to as weird a place as Hogwarts.

Elsewhere, Alec was sitting as far away from Magnus as possible. He had his head buried in a book, and was studiously ignoring both the increasingly suggestive advances that Magnus was making, as well as the few bold attempts to ignore conversation with him. He had already garnered the addresses of the few people he deemed interesting enough to converse with outside of school (which, considering who he usually hung out with, was quite a small number), and now he had no more need to enter the world of Other People for a good twelve hours.

"Al-ec!" Magnus slid his hand up Alec's thigh.

Alec slid down the seat and continued reading. "I'm busy."

Magnus pouted. "Come on, now, don't be like…"

"I need to finish this by the end of the day, Magnus, or it's going to keep bugging me for ages. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Magnus scowled and absently chewed on a bread roll. He considered throwing some glitter at his boyfriend, but then discarded the idea when he saw how large Alec's book was (while generally the Shadowhunter loathed to use something so precious as a book as a weapon, it had been known to happen before…)

"Fine," Magnus muttered moodily – and then he spied the Hat. "I'll be back in a second, love."

Alec glanced up from his book in mild alarm (that tone of voice that Magnus was using never turned out well for anyone involved), but then abruptly decided that he had done his good deed for the day (saving Hogwarts had to count for something karmatically) and went back to reading with nary a care in the world.

Magnus slipped over to the Hat, a sly, slightly evil grin on his face. Dumbledore had made a tactical retreat to the head of the staff table, and sat conversing with Professor Sprout about the many uses of anteaters.

"Oh, Ha-at!" Magnus sang, snatching the Hat and ran for the door. "My old friend – how much fun we shall have here, on my last day at Hogwarts!"

The Sorting Hat screamed in pure terror.

…

* Okay, these people exist (in the movies, anyway).

I'm done! Ta-da! I hoped that this was fun to read (it was certainly fun to write – while I should have been doing homework, too. Nuts). Oh, well! I'm do-one, I'm do-one, I'm do-one! (As you can see, I'm happy. This unfinished 'fic has been bothering me for a while).

Many thanks to all the people who have reviewed my work! I love you all! :)

(Still, just because I'm done doesn't mean you have to stop reviewing – hint, hint). Also, feel free to check out my other stories (this isn't my first Sorting Hat-centric crossover 'fic).

Lots of love

MM